BRNaughtyAngel
Posts: 1821
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote:
ORIGINAL: rabinyaZharovna If all it takes is a woman loving a man to want to serve him endlessly, then why would she be seeking out this relationship? She could fall in love with any vanilla guy and serve him all day. If she could keep herself in a submissive mindset all the time then why does she need you? What makes her crave, seek and need a Dominant in her life? And what are you doing to to ensure that you (general sense) are the Dominant she aches to serve? There are very few women who are in this just for the kinky sex. Women on here say it again and again... just because you are Dominant doesn't mean you are my Dominant. Just because you are Dominant doesn't mean I'm submissive to you. It isn't about just being a Dominant personality, it's about Dominating her... continuously. Pushing those buttons within her... continuously. Settling back and saying all is well, I have her trained and now she will serve me out of love is, well, a misguided, unfortunate, popular belief. A belief that I think is the core reason for so many relationships failing. Obviously differnt people need different levels of this interaction, but what are you doing to ensure that level, whatever it may be, is being continuously met? When I see "laid back" I see "I set the ground rules, you obey because you want to and all is well." Hmmm okay, maybe that is why past relationships are just that... past, not current. You, as the Dominant, are the leader of the relationship, so where are you leading it? What are you actively, consciously doing to bring out the best in her and the relationship? Because that is what she signed up for and that is when you get a sub or a slave who will do everything in the world to make your life wonderful. The rarity, in my experience, is the Dominant who understands that he is the driver of the entire relationship, who goes against the natural grain of complacency, and acts with the incredible conscious effort it requires to keep the bus moving forward. rz{PF} I didn't grab a coke (but I did get an Orange Fanta Zero!) and I'm so glad that I read this post.. I hope there are folks out there who will read it and benefit from it. Wonderful job! Add me to the list that says excellent post... again! I wanted to also say something about what heartfeltsub posted: quote:
While i agree that all parties in a relationship need to be committed to keeping the relationship healthy, and, making a gender based disclaimer here, (sexist comment coming), in most of the relationships that i have seen in my almost 50 years on this earth, it is more often the man in the relationship that gets complacent about the status of the relationship. i don't know if it because men or most men seem to be more interested in the hunt and the challenge of the hunt and once the challenge has been met, their interest wanes or if it something else. An interesting fact that I have heard reported in recent years is that women file for divorce twice as often as men. I think in Canada it's something like 75% of divorces are initiated by women. The number one reason women file for divorce is Lack of Attention/Lack of Affection from their husbands. I heard that one on a news report the other day. And yes it is a sweeping generalization....., and it really doesn't matter if every Dom, Dick and Harry dominates the living hell outta their submissive, if yours is the one who got lax.... it fucks with your head, your heart and your submission, as is evidenced by the number of submissives who post here and elsewhere wondering what happened to the guy the originally submitted to. MadRabbit mentioned compatibility issues and I agree that sometimes it really just comes down to that. But other times I think the people are compatible, but one or both lose sight of what brought them together in the first place, and how to keep that alive.
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