RE: Being independent=can't be submissive or slave?

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RE: Being independent=can't be submissive or slave? - 3/22/2009 8:08:49 AM

marysdream

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
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i agree with heartfelt
ree

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

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RE: Being independent=can't be submissive or slave? - 3/24/2009 6:17:41 PM

groovychick67

Posts: 12
Joined: 2/3/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJ40

The more capable, intelligent, and self-assured the sub or slave is, the greater the rewards of gaining that person's submission. If someone doesn't stand up for themselves on a regular basis to start with, and always requires input/control/advice anyhow, asking Me to do that for them isn't much of a submission, is it? It's just handing the responsibility to someone new.. again.
My girl is very strong willed, has huge responsibilities at work, and has managed a very difficult and interesting life of her own.. she has never felt able to submit to anyone until now. To Me, this makes her submission eleventeen times (lol) more valuable. And it does to her, as well.. she gets to relax, let Me handle things, know that she can trust and rely on Me to be there.. IMO, the actual "point" of the exercise, really... the rewards for both of us are quite apparent, I think.

I think this is a perfect example of a healthy relationship and it mirrors my own as well.

I am a very strong, independent, opinionated woman. I am also a single mom who works fulltime as a RN in an Intensive Care Unit so my job is very stressfull. Does that mean that I am incapable of finding complete sexual and emotional pleasure from submitting my body, mind, and will to another? He is a strong, independent man who who appreciates that I can think for myself and take care of my family.

I think personal strength makes the gift of submission that much more beautiful.

(in reply to SirJ40)

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RE: Being independent=can't be submissive or slave? - 3/30/2009 10:17:04 PM

KneelforAnne

Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
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~FR~
Sorry, I’ve not read the whole thread, yet….

I think that being able to take care of oneself, being a dependable and responsible person would be a plus rather than a minus.

I can’t imagine how tiring/stressful/demanding it would be to have to manage someone’s life other than your own.

In my mind an s should be someone the D can rely on…depend on…would you have confidence in someone who was “bad at life”? (Which is what I see “dependent and reliant on others” as being--maybe I am wrong.)

However, I think this is different than being clingy/needy. For me the clingy/needy stems more from a NEED for emotional support/care/petting than absolute, step by step directions on how to go about my day.

Just my thoughts….

**edited because it's late and my eyes were seeing words that my fingers didn't type**

< Message edited by KneelforAnne -- 3/30/2009 10:39:15 PM >

(in reply to susie)

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RE: Being independent=can't be submissive or slave? - 3/31/2009 3:39:02 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SassySarijane

Some recent comments got me wondering what others think. Basically comments were made that one couldn't be submissive or slave if they were independent, strong, self-reliant; that in order to be submissive or slave one must be dependent and reliant on others.

Do you believe that? Why?

Do you disagree? Why?

I disagree, I think the best subs and slaves are the ones who have a good balance of both; I don't think it's practical for the Domme/Dom to have someone who becomes a blithering wreck when-ever they (the Domme/Dom.) aren't around to control the sub/slave.

I don't think it's healthy for the sub/slave because that would probably lead to a lot of negative/bad situations;constantly being expected to follow as and where led regardless-afterall, W/we all know there are good Dommes/Doms. and bad Ones.

Speaking from personal experience I've met quite a few subs./slaves who have had thoughts and opinions they were happy to express,weren't shy,timid or what-ever and and who had goals,even if their goals were to serve, they still were driven,inspired to fulfil that need andso were proactive about being of servive.

So I think a good balance is whats important,

(in reply to SassySarijane)

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RE: Being independent=can't be submissive or slave? - 4/3/2009 9:16:32 AM

DearJessicaD

Posts: 55
Joined: 10/26/2008
From: East Coast
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Totally disagree. I'm submissive to my boyfriend, but nobody else. I have no trouble spending the day at grad school with tons of other people, making minute decisions all day long, all while wearing the clothes my boyfriend picked out in a store, and chose that day for me to wear. There's no problem excusing myself from the table at a restaurant to use the restroom while he orders for me.

(in reply to SassySarijane)

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Post #: 105