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RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 11:18:38 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bisubboy1

I have been on this site for a few weeks and have written back and forth with a few Dommes. To be blunt it seems like all the Dommes on this site are only interested in milking desperate subs for their money. I am a sincere sub looking for a long term relationship with a real Domme, but I am very skeptical when after one or maybe two emails a woman that knows nothing about me or me about her is asking for a tribute.

How do you separate the real people on this site from the scammers?

Thanks!
b.


My dominance isn't for sale, therefore I don't accept tribute.  That doesn't mean that I don't expect to be treated well, though, as I expect to treat my sub well, too.  I have a lot to offer and I expect a lot in return.  It doesn't necessarily follow that that involves money.

As far as how to sort out those who want money from those who don't goes, you'll have to do the same thing dominant women do when it comes to sorting out the serious subs from the time wasters:  keep trying.

(in reply to bisubboy1)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 11:45:43 AM   
MissSixx


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline 		Each person is using this site for their own reasons...  I am always up front with what I expect from my subs...

To call them scammers is a bit ridiculous.  How are they scamming you when they tell you what they want from you?  you can say no.  

I will you the best of luck.  Keep in mind that lasting relationships take time to create.

Miss Sixx

(in reply to bisubboy1)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:30:23 PM   
bisubboy1


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/30/2008
Status: offline 		Back again. This time I am about to give up on finding a genuine Domme. I have been emailing back and forth with a Domme and it appears that she is ready to take our relationship to the next level, but she wants to be sure I am serious. She has asked me to make a tribute with a credit card to her payment service. Now she is a professional Domme, but is looking for a personal slave. I am going crazy because can't she think of a thousand other ways for me to prove I am serious? I have been burned so many times before by "Dommes" demanding tribute only to take my money and run.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts?

B.

(in reply to MissSixx)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:38:40 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bisubboy1

Back again. This time I am about to give up on finding a genuine Domme. I have been emailing back and forth with a Domme and it appears that she is ready to take our relationship to the next level, but she wants to be sure I am serious. She has asked me to make a tribute with a credit card to her payment service. Now she is a professional Domme, but is looking for a personal slave. I am going crazy because can't she think of a thousand other ways for me to prove I am serious? I have been burned so many times before by "Dommes" demanding tribute only to take my money and run.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts?

B.


http://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=org&uid=default&state=ILLINOIS&view_records=View+Records&ww=on

Try meeting people off of the internet. I have met hundreds of Dommes at munches and events and have never had one mention a tribute. It wasn't until I joined CM that I started seeing the trend of "pay me to show your sincere".

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to bisubboy1)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:38:45 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Many subs are so wrapped up in their "rights as a sub" and the concept that they do not want to be taken advantage of that they throw a fit at even the mere concept that in a potential *relationship* (two people with mutual affection) they may have LESS rights, or be the one on the other end of power exchange (as Fullfig sort of pointed out - if you want 50/50, it's called VANILLA, boys). 

I can't see that your use of the word "rights" holds, there, A.   Where else, except in D/s, would one talk about "rights that one has the option to surrender or not to surrender"?  "Rights" are enshrined in law, or with some other power behind them.  It makes no real sense to talk of "optional rights", as far as I can see. 

Versus M's view that "if you want 50/50, it's called VANILLA, boys"; at the level of the word "rights" in its proper usage, I think that both parties certainly are equal.  Or they would have to be for me, anyway.  That I'd take as read by the very idea of two people coming together to negotiate whose, and which, desires and needs are going to be treated as the more important.  They come together as equals in that negotiation and they'll always have equal rights. 

I'd assume equal respect for each other's body, mind and soul, too.  That assumption might not have physical or legal power behind it but it would have moral power, instead. 








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http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:41:37 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hey now... you are giving up finding a genuine dominant because of a few misleading people?  Stop... think...  Many of us get frustrated finding a partner... many of us go through the lies or misleading or the confused and get upset with the process... but you give up? 

Are you submissive?  Do you feel this is more than kinky sex?  Do you think you can walk away from who you are if you are really submissive?  Or even if you are just kinky?

Why give up?  What does that say about you?  Okay... take a time out.  Chill... stop thinking that submission and relationships with dominants are built in a day... and realize this is the real world... it happens outside of bdsm and you're not doing yourself any favors by quiting in your own life.

Buck up young man!

< Message edited by Lockit -- 1/19/2009 12:43:56 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to bisubboy1)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:43:52 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		So, what you're looking for is an unequal equal relationship?

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:45:22 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah!  If anyone's entitled to give up around here, it is I.  But I'm still here.  Looking.  Sorta.  Kinda.  Maybe.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:50:06 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'll see you on that entitlement and add two... one for my illness and son (adult)... (I am allowed a pity party once in a while ya know!)  Soooooo... if anyone has a reason to give up... that would be me... I am just to friggin stubborn to give up on what I might by chance find or hunt... and capture.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:51:19 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Bisubboy,

I think you're about to get ripped off.  I'm afraid I wouldn't trust her an inch.

On this forum, we've all seen many complaints by dominants about subs who'll treat them like nothing more than "wank material".  For the subs, I think the equivalent is dominants who'll treat subs as nothing more than "money-tapping material".   I think the solution for both dominants and subs is the same: treat the other like a person to get to know - make the kink secondary till the kind of relationship you want between you and the other has been established.


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to bisubboy1)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:54:54 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		So, what you're looking for is an unequal equal relationship?

When I think your ability with words is equal to mine, I'll let you put words into my mouth, matey. 

But the answer's, er, "yes", actually.   D/s is full of contradictions - there's just one another to add to the list. 

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:57:18 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hehe.. nothing to contradict... if you just do what she says!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:57:50 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

When I think your ability with words is equal to mine, I'll let you put words into my mouth, matey. 



You can count yourself very fortunate indeed if I ever put *anything* in your mouth.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 12:58:53 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Is this a matter of his foot in mouth or your boot?  I am confused here! hehe

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 1:00:27 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I'll see you on that entitlement and add two... one for my illness and son (adult)... (I am allowed a pity party once in a while ya know!)  Soooooo... if anyone has a reason to give up... that would be me... I am just to friggin stubborn to give up on what I might by chance find or hunt... and capture.


Oh, Lockit, I'm so sorry.  Maybe we can encourage some prey to come and lie down at your feet to make it a bit easier on you.  Of course, that kind of doesn't make it prey anymore, but let's not be fussy about definitions at a time like this.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 1:03:07 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Hehe.. nothing to contradict... if you just do what she says!
 
That'd only be true if she never contradicted herself.  Seeing as she's a woman, though . . . . . .

. . . . . . I can't remember where that thought was going to take me.  Right now, all I've got in my head, for some inexplicable reason, is an image of the world burning.


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 1:03:10 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Is this a matter of his foot in mouth or your boot?  I am confused here! hehe


You know, now that you mention it, I think we could have hours of amusement with him if his foot were literally in his mouth.  Just the thought of him hopping around on one leg has me laughing my head off.  Of course, that would require a degree of flexibility that he probably doesn't possess.  Time to start those yoga classes, PforH.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 1:03:46 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		My whine is bigger than ANYONE else's.  So THERE. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 1:04:26 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Yes!

I love it when a feeder line gets taken up!

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Tributes and Genuine Dommes - 1/19/2009 1:06:09 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I'll see you on that entitlement and add two... one for my illness and son (adult)... (I am allowed a pity party once in a while ya know!)  Soooooo... if anyone has a reason to give up... that would be me... I am just to friggin stubborn to give up on what I might by chance find or hunt... and capture.


Oh, Lockit, I'm so sorry.  Maybe we can encourage some prey to come and lie down at your feet to make it a bit easier on you.  Of course, that kind of doesn't make it prey anymore, but let's not be fussy about definitions at a time like this.


ROFL... I think I can manage!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 160
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