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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 5:35:00 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

The past is the past. I don't hold anyone to actions in the past (as long as they weren't really serious felonies ).

But, the future, I don't want to share and I don't want to be shared.


Aw, shoot! 

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 5:36:51 PM   
trealeon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline 		My last partner wanted to do porn. I had no problems with it. I was more concerned that she do something that was legitimate and established so that she'd be safe. That was all for me.

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 5:39:28 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

If you were interested in someone and found out that they had posed for nude photos or in pornographic movies or kink photos for publication would that cross a hard-limit for you?  What if your current partner(s) wanted to explore being this type of model or actor?  Would that end the relationship?

Id hope not since I am a photographer and Fox started out as my model.

DV

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(in reply to Vendaval)
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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 5:43:45 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		Wouldn' matter to me in the least

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 5:44:14 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: curvyslavegirl

How exactly could someone's past behaviors be considered a "hard limit".
It doesn't affect your current relationship (unless they're actively doing porn).
It's just being judgmental.


I disagree.  This is not jumping on you in particular, slavegirl but against those who think the past is just that...the past.  That's a wonderful way to think and if you can do so, more power to you.  However, there are those on here whose professions could be damaged if a partner's past behavior were known.  And oddly enough, the fact that a person had done a porno film or posed for porno/kinky photos could be more of a problem than the fact that the person had been a criminal of some sort (depending on the crime, of course).  That happens because many tend to look at past criminal behavior as an indicator and study the person closely now to see if they really are remorseful for their crimes.  They tend to do the same thing with someone who has a known sexual past when that sexual past has a lurid nature to it BUT along with that scrutiny comes the hope/anticipation(?) that they will fall back to their "sexually deviant, wicked ways". 

Thank you for stating that so eloquently CD.  I'm one of those people it applies too.  My life has taken some very unexpected turns this past year and I find myself now in a position where I've become something of a "pillar" of the community.  I work with / in the town government, I'm frequently involved in community events, I own and operate a civic center, I sponsor events for the youth, I was photographed with the mayor and or town council no less than a dozen times in 2008, I'm finding myself being regularly interviewed by the local news media on a variety of topics... whether I like it or not (and some days I really don't) I've become a public figure and a role model.  Not something I planned or intended, but Life has this perverse habit of doing things I didn't expect.

So for me, yes... having been in porn movies, posed for kinky photo shoots, etc. would be a hard limit for me at this point.  I've dated a couple of porn actresses in the past, as well as more strippers than I care to recall.  Something like that would be a PR nightmare for me now, and it feels really weird in my life that I actually now have to worry about PR...   I've been debating whether I should remove my photos from my profile for the same reason, though for now I've decided to leave them and accept what I consider to be a minimal risk.  Likewise, I also removed the link to my personal web site from my signature, which was more of a risk (since I know for a fact quite a few people have viewed it doing research on me, from reporters to curious town residents).

Even were it not for my public life, I still would not be comfortable with someone wanting to be active in the porn industry while in a relationship with me.  I do not share, so a porn actress would still be a hard limit.  I would probably not agree to kinky photo shoots either.

Sorry if I dashed any fantasies Lynnxz

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 6:03:12 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Nope. My girl is an adult entertainer/dancer, and it makes me proud when I see all these Men lusting after her, and also how easily they are manipulated by a beautiful girl.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

If you were interested in someone and found out that they had posed for nude photos or in pornographic movies or kink photos for publication would that cross a hard-limit for you?  What if your current partner(s) wanted to explore being this type of model or actor?  Would that end the relationship?


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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 6:18:36 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		No i wouldn't mind in the least.
Besides i'd be a hypocrite if i did considering i've done my share of porn and nude photos in my teen's.

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 7:09:30 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

Sorry if I dashed any fantasies Lynnxz





Fine fine... but I demand more trenchcoat-boots pictures!

(FINE I guess pants too. )

*Grump*


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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 8:24:45 PM   
Surata


Posts: 110
Joined: 7/10/2008
Status: offline 		My partners can do whatever they want, as long as they are honest, tell me ahead of time, stay safe, and don't try to directly involve me.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/15/2009 9:09:06 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Well... since you put it that way... I'll see what I can do.  Actually, was thinking of buying a new pair of boots, shirt, coat and leather pants. 


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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/16/2009 6:24:37 AM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		Since I am an artist, a bit of an exhibitionist streak would actually be a plus for me.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/16/2009 7:22:11 AM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NCNutCase

One persons kink is another persons hard limit... so I don't think other people's interests/limits should really matter in determining your own...

Personally... I don't share my girl(s), so doing porn while in a relationship with me would not be acceptible...

I have no problems with my girl being an exhibitionist, but I prefer to have "contol" over her sensual outlets that include other people. So to satisify such desires I would take her to lots of play parties and allow others to watch me play with her.

As to what she has done in the past... We are the results of our experiences and if you like/love who she is just remember those things helped her become that person. That being said, I wouldn't like my girl having been a porn 'actress', but it's something I could get over / work past for someone I currently clicked with...

This above everything else should be acknowledged and repeated... MILIONS of times.

Our past makes us who we are. With out it, we could only be some one else. To love your slef or some one else now, means you MUST accept how they became who you know.

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/16/2009 9:49:36 AM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

So, to all who have answered with the unequivical "nope, doesn't bother me!", does that mean you would have no problem with your partner poking others as long as someone took pictures?

~Quite a liberal bunch!

Well, no.  I do not have a problem with my partner either poking others or getting poked, pictures or no.  I am polyamorous, and have been for a long time.  What I care about is that the proper care is exercised to protect our interests in this, so that the risk is not unmanageable.  If everyone is honest about what is happening and why and what will happen with the recorded media, then there should be little to worry about.  I do not consider this attitude particularly liberal as much as I consider the way society at large views such acts to be unreasonably repressive.  Shame over revealing one's body is just pointless. 


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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/16/2009 2:25:25 PM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		Photos... no that would not bother me... but porn yes

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/16/2009 3:48:13 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Done at my command, no problem. Done without my command, then she is being a disobedient slave.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

So, to all who have answered with the unequivical "nope, doesn't bother me!", does that mean you would have no problem with your partner poking others as long as someone took pictures?

~Quite a liberal bunch!


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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/16/2009 6:13:10 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain
This is where my only issues come up with it (and why I indicated it would need to be a discreet relationship. Not to mention the fact that I'm going to be a gay teacher, so there is already a semi-scandalous (in *many* communities, if not most, throughout the US.


The school system in a nearby town has as its high school principal a man who had an affair with a teacher, both of them married, and there were claims that he pressured her into the affair but threatening bad reports. He is still there and the high school is a wreck. This same man is now the one telling students that their whistling at female students is sexual harassment. They do not listen to him, nor respect him, not with him as the head sexual harasser. The school is going downhill rapidly with the kids jeering at him. Unfortunately there was not enough grounds to fire him.

It is bad enough having such a situation develop, but I can't imagine any school board hiring someone while knowing the issues that will develop.

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/16/2009 6:17:33 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

It wouldnt be a problem for me, since I have done nude modeling, and once did a porn video.


Oooh.. what was it like and where can I get a copy?



UNfortunately, I dont believe it's available anymore (that was about 6-7 yrs ago.. ). It was F to M strapon.

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/16/2009 7:32:59 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67
....I do not consider this attitude particularly liberal as much as I consider the way society at large views such acts to be unreasonably repressive. Shame over revealing one's body is just pointless.
Yeah, I wonder about that. So much repression; is there a point to it? I wonder if there are "secondary gains", or whatever you'd call them. Since societies invest a lot of energy in that activity, it seems like they must be getting something from it.
Probably a topic for another time, I guess.

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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/17/2009 12:18:25 AM   
ChristyCougar


Posts: 33
Joined: 1/12/2009
From: Sunny Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval
If you were interested in someone and found out that they had posed for nude photos or in pornographic movies or kink photos for publication would that cross a hard-limit for you?  What if your current partner(s) wanted to explore being this type of model or actor?  Would that end the relationship?

I am a nude model/actress and actively working in the adult entertainment industry.  I would love my partner to costar in a shoot with me.



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(in reply to Vendaval)
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RE: Your partner posing nude or for porn, hard limit? - 1/17/2009 10:36:32 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		There was recently a situation in my old high school where a teacher (who was actually a friend of mine, and in her first or second year as a teacher at the school) was fired for having a love affair with a (female) student. She was, of course, fired. Her parents ALSO work in the same school district as teachers... I don't understand why people would do things like that, though. It creates such a dissonance in the community, and affects *ALL* the kids in the school old enough to understand what was happening (as it seems to in your example) :(

The main difference is that, in order to fire for sexual harassment, you DO need to have definitive proof (beyond a 'shadow of a doubt') that it happened, otherwise the person can sue for wrongful termination, or whatever it's called. This is likely why he was not fired (or there was a settlement so it never went to court to BE proven).

For being gay? You can be fired on the spot in most states. *shrug* Just for being who you are. Technically you can't *really* be penalized for something a partner does (after all, unless they're a teacher too your students won't ever meet them not at a student dance you're chaperoning) unless you take part in it.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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