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RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 3:11:57 PM

NCNutCase

Posts: 129
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

As an experienced, locally active male Dom... I like to reach out to 'newbie' subs that post profiles to offer them a bit of guidance of how to get involved with the local scene and what to expect. I enjoy helping others plus this makes a good first impression on someone I may be interested in.

Being active locally makes me available to/for locally active subs to approach. Wearing a smile at events makes us much more approachable...

I do agree that pursuing a submissive creates a "topping from the bottom" repour from the start, which may be hard to wear off later on...

But then again I understand that many submissive girls are hesitant to reach out to Doms, especially those with 'developed profiles'.

I think a male sub pursuing a female Domme is a much more natural relationship for both parties...

(in reply to goldentriangle)

Post #: 21

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 3:14:33 PM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

Yeah not wrong there. Ireland inc is on its last legs, expect further reductions, the jobs sales is now on people, hurry before its too late. Must close soon
kevin

(in reply to goldentriangle)

Post #: 22

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 3:46:34 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I'm not a Dom but I personally prefer for it to be mutual.

We both find an attraction to each other and the "magic" just happens...ya know, we both start a conversation, call each other, whatever. There is no "who calls who first" type of deal. We both just go with the flow and let it happen naturally on its own.

(in reply to goldentriangle)

Post #: 23

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 4:36:16 PM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

^ That would be ideal - in praxis I browse profiles, but I rarely make the first move, the presumption being that, based on what I read, most of the subs on this site are pretty much constantly inundated with PM's from prospective Doms, and if I think she's probably not going to be interested anyway, I figure why add to it?

If everything looks good though, I'll PM, but if she doesn't respond, I don't "pursue" it, and I've had some good exchanges with women even though it wasn't in the cards, and a few have contacted me either out of the blue or after I looked at their profiles, and I like that initiative.

Anyway, I'm still working it out, but generally, whether here or in real life, if there isn't any reciprocal interest, I move on, and presumably, if she makes the first move, that hurdle has been crossed.

I also look at a lot of profiles of people in the forums here, just to see who's who, put a face to the screen name.

< Message edited by Amaros -- 1/16/2009 4:37:20 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 24

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 5:15:03 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

Well...I seldom have a need to make first....contact...

Especially thru these kind of mediums...

Probably why I am single -L-

Tsk Tsk...

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 25

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 5:17:16 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

If someone interests me, I express interest. I don't express interest very often...

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(in reply to ThundersCry)

Post #: 26

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 5:17:58 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

I don't really hunt, and truthfully, I'm not all that driven to be 'hunted'. Mostly, I just get out there and meet people, and some of those people become closer over time, until things take shape. I was a lot more impatient at other points in my life, but found that pushing the matter and forcing it along didn't provide me with the results I wanted... so now, I take things as they come, and exert my will upon them as they take shape, until a companionable, comfortable relationship, unique unto itself within the greater sphere of our family takes shape. Oh... and I feed the relationship... from the person on up.... you know... things like garlic-dill flounder and vanilla-cinnamon-almond acorn squash...

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 1/16/2009 5:19:21 PM >

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(in reply to goldentriangle)

Post #: 27

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 7:02:08 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

I like to be hunted, i never ever hunt.
Saying that though i'm hiding from the hunters at present (hidden profile). I keep getting hunted by the wrong hunters.
Oh where oh where is my Romeo *sighs*

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(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 28

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 11:23:56 PM

Carnae7

Posts: 72
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline

@ NCNutCase - "I do agree that pursuing a submissive creates a "topping from the bottom" repour from the start, which may be hard to wear off later on." I found your comments to be very curious. It seems more natural to me that if a Dom truly is dominant and is supposed to be in control of things, then He should be the one to take the initiative. Therefore, I believe that if a Dom is interested in me, that He will take the lead and initiate contact with me. Does this make sense to anyone else? Am I seeing it backwards, or upside down?

Alternatively, if I, being a sub, take the initiative to make the connection, it seems that I am being very forward, and imposing myself upon the Dom. To me, this does not seem/feel very respectful. It is my belief that the sub is supposed to follow the Dom's lead. Isn't this the natural order of things in this lifestyle? Does anyone else see this point?

Having said all this, and despite my struggles with this exact issue, I have occasionally initiated contact simply because I would like to be in a full time, LTR. Thus, it seems rather lame to just sit around waiting for someone to notice how wonderful I am. Hahahaha! ~sheepish grin~ I know - I am unique just like everyone else!

@ littlewonder - "I personally prefer for it to be mutual" Have to say, I agree. Once a connection has been established, it definitely feels better if both parties contribute to building the relationship. I find it works best if there is a fairly even exchange of emails, meaning we each respond fairly promptly to a letter received.

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(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 29

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 11:34:12 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

There is no "natural order of things". Making initial contact, being "forward", etc., has nothing to do with being submissive in general. Being shy perhaps, but not submissive.

Cali

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(in reply to Carnae7)

Post #: 30

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 11:42:43 PM

Loliita

Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline

Well, from my mail here on collarme I would say it's the submissive men that are hunting for me, the female dominant. Although I've now taken to hunting them. Especially some of the submissives that post on the forums.

When it comes to the submissive women (I am a bisexual dominant) they seem to wait for me to hunt them. They keep peeking at my profile until I contact them.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 31

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/16/2009 11:46:15 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Both.
If I see someone's profile and I like it I'll initiate contact.
And some have contacted me as well and I'm flattered when they do!
Like I say in my profile, "for the sub/slave that chooses me", because whether it is in D/s or vanilla it's *always* the female who chooses the man.
If she's not interested in you then that's it.

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 32

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/17/2009 12:02:30 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I prefer to be pursued. Sometimes, however, I take a look at sub/slave/switch profiles and message if I'm interested. Since the pool doesn't change very often, I do this rarely...like maybe twice a year. Meeting people one-on-one seems better.

Master Fire

_____________________________

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 33

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/17/2009 3:53:42 AM

SlaveIndigochild

Posts: 272
Status: offline

Next time round i'm hoping to be a wild cat.....it might be easier

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Formerly Prinsexx
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(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 34

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/17/2009 4:06:35 AM

nafakcha

Posts: 81
Joined: 12/28/2008
From: Melbourne, FL
Status: offline

When I am looking for a Dominant I will look at profiles and contact someone if they peak my curiosity. However, I have been lucky enough to have some excellent dominants contact me. It doesn't really matter to me who pursued whom

Keiko

_____________________________

"To seek, to strive, to find and not to yield."
~ Ulysses by Lord Alfred Tennyson

(in reply to SlaveIndigochild)

Post #: 35

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/17/2009 4:32:42 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCNutCase
I do agree that pursuing a submissive creates a "topping from the bottom" repour from the start, which may be hard to wear off later on...

I disagree with the comment above. If I see a profile that piques my interest I don't believe I am topping from the bottom if I send them a message indicating that something they wrote interested me. Now if I were to email them saying 'make me get on my knees now!!!!!" ....that would be topping from the bottom.

In reply to the OP .... I don't 'hunt' however I am not averse to sending a message to someone who interests me.

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(in reply to NCNutCase)

Post #: 36

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/17/2009 5:02:34 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I didn't think him contacting me was setting it up that I had the power. I found it was him going after what he wanted, and showing me he wasn't afraid of rejection. But the truth is, no matter who writes first, either you are both interested or nothing will happen.

Oh, and even when a newbie, if I got a condescending letter from someone claiming to be experienced and offering to lead me through this, I knew enough to block the guy immediately. If I'm not adult enough to find my own way, then I shouldn't be doing it. There's more than enough info out there for anyone who takes a minute to search it out. Somebody I've never spoken to, offering me the counsel of his domliness? No thanks, comes off as him searching for new pussy in my jaded viewpoint.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 37

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/17/2009 5:04:45 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I was stalked, hunted, pursued, captured, caught and eaten.

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 38

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/17/2009 5:16:36 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

I'm fairly clueless when it comes to pursuing a man, and don't catch on when they're flirting with me until/unless it's in my face screaming "why don't you see me?!~"
I generally prefer he do the footwork in terms of initiating pursuit, and being open/flexible about courtship, since at that point, I tend to have plenty of ideas to contribute. M

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 39

RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/17/2009 6:21:51 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Hello everybody. Hope everyone's doing well on this mild Friday night in Dublin. The weather being so unreliable either brutally cold or so damn wet and mild that it gives you stomach bugs, i thought id give everyone a laugh
a simple question
do you hunt for subs or do you find it easier to allow subs hunt for you
kevin

Here is My deal, if someone waits, they could be waiting till hell freezes over, or until the dance music stops playing--could you be rejected? Sure anyone could, but if you don't try you might not succeed. (unless you have stella's beer money).

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 40

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