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RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/19/2009 6:46:56 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lee4U2tie
Not that it should be the Dom that has to contact, but probably it's a better decision.  I do think that if I found a Dom I was completely interested in, I'd contact him myself, if nothing else to just say hello.


Based on your other threads where you're not doing so hot in your current relationship, maybe you should work on that.  It doesn't have to be a dissertation, it could be something as simple as "I just wanted to tell you that your profile made me laugh, especially the part about (describe something here).  You really made my day, thanks!".

Don't go into every contact with the idea that this might be the one.  Just keep reaching out.  Friends are good.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Lee4U2tie)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/19/2009 8:22:02 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		It depends on the medium of communication.

On sites like collarme.com, I learned awhile ago not to really bother looking for a number of reasons. One, there is a lot of competition and the odds are stacked against you that your going to be able to write a powerful enough first message to garner enough attention that the person is going to take the time to actually get to know you to find out how awesome you are. Second, I am not in a place in my life where I need anything even remotely long distance and the number of profiles of people in my city barely require more than my fingers to count.

All the women I have met have been via the forums. The forums provide an oppurtunity for one to express themselves and mark themselves as an individual publicly for anyone who cares to read them. The one person I met locally actually made a profile here just to write me a message after her friend in another city who had been following some of my posts mentioned me to her. You never know what will come out of it so I just participate in discussion on message boards rather than spend my time searching through profiles to send 300 emails only to get maybe 5 responses.

In real time, I will almost always approach the girl, because I don't have a cool message board to express myself and the odds of success are much better. Women love confidence and just the simple act of making eye contact, walking straight over without hesitating and saying "Hi! I like your hat. What are you reading?" is going to make a more powerful impression then it would in an email.

However, I can read body language and I am not going to waste my time approaching a girl if she doesn't give me signals that she wants to talk to me.

_____________________________

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/19/2009 8:57:12 AM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
Do you hunt for subs or do you find it easier to allow subs hunt for you?


I believe it's proper for the submissive party to pursue the dominant party. In my opinion, it's a measure of proper disposition, and it seems only fitting. Those who wait smugly like flowers to be ogled over and plucked self-select themselves out of my interest pool.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/19/2009 9:18:13 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

Those who wait smugly like flowers to be ogled over and plucked self-select themselves out of my interest pool.



Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about doms who wait smugly... 


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/19/2009 9:35:33 AM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

Those who wait smugly like flowers to be ogled over and plucked self-select themselves out of my interest pool.



Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about doms who wait smugly... 



Well of course you would, Goddess of Sarcasm.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/19/2009 11:07:53 AM   
VeryNastyDom


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline 		It has gone both ways for me.  Many times I will reach out and make the first contact, but other times it has been the sub who contacted me.  Honestly, I have met nice people both ways so it really doesn't matter who sends the first message.

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/20/2009 8:55:06 PM   
zaaaabooo


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/17/2009
Status: offline 		great topic, i am new here so hello everyone. my last two subs they found me. i now find myself "on the hunt" as somene else put it. and finding that it is a difficult task. Any pointers?

(in reply to VeryNastyDom)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 1/31/2009 4:27:05 PM   
LadyofGrace


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		They usually contact me first, although I have contacted a few first. Alot depends on time and if a profile showed up that I wanted to contact.

It would surprise me if profiles without photos get messages from true Mistresses first.

(in reply to goldentriangle)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 12:06:26 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		To be honest,there were many that scared th poop out of me...just felt they were out of my league..but it never stopped me from trying.The best part about it is the one whom i always felt closest to and also felt was out of my league ..well i am now proudly wearing her training collar.

(in reply to LadyofGrace)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 7:00:48 AM   
ladylucky32


Posts: 27
Joined: 1/31/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

I hunt for the right subs.
If I waited for them to get in touch with me I'd wait forever.
Kevin I thought you wanted to give up BDSM?


Only until he wants to try and leech out some pity from some poor unsuspecting forum goer. Don't worry, by the second page it'll be back to how unfair it is for a pro domme to charge him because he deserves everything for free, because of depression....

Or something?



He asked an honest question, but instead of answering or ignoring you felt the need to get a jab in. I realize some of his posts get tedious but to jump on anything he says just to get an attack in seems a tad bit immature.


To answer the original ?

If I see someone who catches my eye I might pursue them otherwise I wait for them to come to me.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 7:19:35 AM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
On colarme the subs look for me. I do not use the word hunt because they can not choose me. I choose them. They seek me and they offer themselves to me. This is fine.

I wish I could hunt but this is not easy when most mens profiles have no pictures or written words. They are blank people.
There are 2 men on forums I am stalking. When men make post I can read their thoughts and make better decisions in choosing. I like stalking men on forums. I feel as like a kittycat stalking a little mouse in the night.







Meow


(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 10:41:54 AM   
giovani324


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/31/2009
Status: offline 		Is laying as bait considered a form of hunting?

< Message edited by giovani324 -- 2/1/2009 10:43:05 AM >

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 10:46:11 AM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline 		i have never pursued any man, sub or otherwise...
i have always been approached or respectfully "pursued".


_____________________________

...:: MsDDom ::...
... live Life honestly ...

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 11:12:44 AM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: giovani324

Is laying as bait considered a form of hunting?


I not bait. I am trap. Men think when they meet me we play dominatrix/ submissive game. They do not know I will own and control them and posses their soul. They will be powerless and I will use them as I see fit. They can not escape. <-------big talk from little girl but if you see new skirt I buy you would understand. No man can resist my new skirt I buy today.

(in reply to giovani324)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 11:16:23 AM   
windycitysub78


Posts: 55
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline 		"...but if you see new skirt I buy you would understand. No man can resist my new skirt I buy today."


Fear the skirt!

I bow down to the allmighty skirt. :)

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 11:18:42 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

...On sites like collarme.com, I learned awhile ago not to really bother looking for a number of reasons. ...

My impression is similar. It seems every woman who puts a profile up here has to soon add a disclaimer, something like; "sorry, I'm so inundated with mail that..."
That's well and fine, but it doesn't strike me as a good place to invest a lot of my time.
quote:


...In real time, I will almost always approach the girl...

I tend not to approach women in public. At a party, then perhaps, since socializing is the point of a party.
But the women I'm drawn to in public places probably have to put up with a lot of unwanted male attention in general. Though I'll look and say "hi" I generally don't attempt to strike up a conversation.
quote:


However, I can read body language and I am not going to waste my time approaching a girl if she doesn't give me signals that she wants to talk to me.
Perhaps this is something I need to learn more about.

My usual method is to make a personal ad of some sort that states what I'm looking for.
I'll experiment with different forms: the short form, or the longer , more detailed form; attempts at humor or outright absurdity, or just speaking as plainly as possible.

The responses are few (or, often, none), and it takes a lot of patience and persistence, but I have met a few really good partners this way.

And it figures, because I don't think I'd be compatible with very many, so I am looking somehow for that odd perhaps 1 or 2%.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 12:17:40 PM   
giovani324


Posts: 12
Joined: 1/31/2009
Status: offline 		So you are saying that men come to you thinking they know what they want, but really have no idea of what they are in for?  Maybe they are laying the trap for you ... a wounded lamb is an enticing prey.


< Message edited by giovani324 -- 2/1/2009 12:34:33 PM >

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 12:35:15 PM   
MoGa


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

~FR~
 
When I try to contact them, I get the same lack of response so many subs complain of on the boards.  Go figure.  So now I let them do the work of approaching me instead.  I find it's a much better use of my time.  The rare exceptions are for those who have said something so thoughtful in their profiles or blogs that I feel compelled to comment on it.  However, those messages are not with the goal of establishing a relationship, so I don't think they apply to the OP's question.

I am not looking at this time, however, I will respond to something that I have read on someone's journal if it touches what I am currently going through. There is a submissive who lives here in Middle Ga. who has written a wonderfully compassionate journal entry. Every time I read it (Pops up on screen when he is on line) I am moved by his words. I have written to him and told him how incredibly touching (haunting) his words are. So open and honest, with such raw emotions, that it tugs at me.
 
But as far as looking or searching out profiles, not doing it right now.
 
MoGa

_____________________________


Founder Of My Own IN-Crowd
Lady H's Biggest Fan
DIVA *Per Cali*
The Other Bossy One *Per Tulip*
Official Pimpette

Music Is The Universal Language. Let's Communicate!

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 12:38:21 PM   
MoGa


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline
quote:

akisha's sig line: "I'm the kind of girl that will burst out laffing about something that happend yesterday *S*"

Akisha, so am I lol

_____________________________


Founder Of My Own IN-Crowd
Lady H's Biggest Fan
DIVA *Per Cali*
The Other Bossy One *Per Tulip*
Official Pimpette

Music Is The Universal Language. Let's Communicate!

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Do you pursue the sub/slave or does the slave pursu... - 2/1/2009 5:00:51 PM   
Knite064


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Hello everybody. Hope everyone's doing well on this mild Friday night in Dublin. The weather being so unreliable either brutally cold or so damn wet and mild that it gives you stomach bugs, i thought id give everyone a laugh
a simple question
do you hunt for subs or do you find it easier to allow subs hunt for you
kevin



My answer is either/or but either way if the chemistry is there i soon forget who chased who.

I do have a slave friend that has the opinion that the Dominant is the hunter and she the hunted(in saying that she is one stunningly beautiful girl on the outside and inside so i doubt she needs to hunt too much anyhow)

Then a very special ex  submissive lady of mine put it beautifully...."when the student is ready the teacher will appear "(does it really matter which is the teacher and which the student?????who knows .........if its meant to be it will be, fate just needs a handup when it does appear



(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 80
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