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Guys...I don't "get" email domination.


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Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 9:52:06 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline 		Ok, I am new to this although I have been a dominant girl all my life. My profile tells my story.
There's something here that baffles me. Email domination. I am not talking webcam domination, for I can understand how that works because the people can see each other.

I'm having guys message me and asking me to dominate them by email. Some even offer to pay which I always refuse. (if you paid me then you would be in control and not me, no thank you)

When dealing with men (and some women) in person I have almost always been able to control them and bend them to my will.
I can't see how this would carry though in email. A guy can't see anything but my picture. He can't hear or smell me. He can't see my mood or facial expressions. He won't fear me slapping him across the face. I can understand if the guy had met me and might meet me again then he might fear me or be in awe of me. But guys I have never met doing as I say? I just don't get it.

Guys, can a woman really control you through email? I know you can't speak for all men so just speak for yourself. I would like to read what some of you men say and what is your reasoning.

edit....
Actually, I don't really get webcam domination either. Seeing a little tiny moving picture of a woman does not seem to instill fear or awe. I would never undress for a guy on webcam so I don't really know how my dominant power would carry through.

< Message edited by Loliita -- 1/16/2009 9:59:36 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:02:56 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I've never been able to get it either. I don't get the whole online/cam/long distance domination at all. I get that emotions can form on line and with distance in the way but the idea of taking orders or giving them to someone via e-mail/IM/phone/whatever baffles me. I've tried it and it bores me. E-mail a guy and tell him to torture his balls...where does that get me? They get their kink met and think they're doing a service because I asked...but I get to sit on the other end with this empty "Oh yeah...some dude put clothes pins on his balls" feeling.

It's just a general empty feeling for me which is why I don't do it. I have nothing against chatting, perhaps even playful flirting with a submissive or dominant on line but anything past that is out of the question.

I have role played BDSM on line before. And not that shitty faux cyber nonsense you see in the chatrooms, like paragraph RP written in third person for the sake of using one's imagination and story telling. It was fun and easy to do. Guess the fantasy of the RP (ie, as made up characters in a made up place etc etc) is a lote more amusing and literally enjoyable than sending some orders to some horny dude and getting a reply that hints that he did it...but you'll never know. Or even if you have proof, that hint of frustration that it was YOU yourself stepping on his balls or putting him panties or whatever orders you give people on line.

*shrug*

I didn't like giving orders nor taking them on line. It made me not even want to do what the person said really and generally dislike them for trying to tell me what to do via text or a phone. Bleh

(in reply to Loliita)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:03:10 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		Once recieved an unsolicited CM mail from a stunning woman located in New Zealand,who offered me the opportunity to be her slave.Needless to say I was perplexed,in my mind there were certain logistical problems......Problems my prospective new owner pish poshed away ,explaining for the time being she would Dominate me via email and IM till I was ready to fly half way around the world to fall at her feet.The whole experience was for me amusing.....I am sure if I would have continued the correspondence much more merriment would have ensued......

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to Loliita)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:10:37 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		Two words: Wank Fodder. Didn't we cover this in another thread already? ;)

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to slvemike4u)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:13:20 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline 		To Usako. Actually, if I knew I could control a guy (the right type of guy) online I could use it to fulfill one of my fantasies. I know what I get out of it. I just don't understand what the other person gets out of it. Couldn't he just send himself emails and tell himself what to do?
In person I can make almost any man beg ..but by email....well...until they invent scented emails that can slap you upside the head....I don't see how I would control a man or woman.

(in reply to Loliita)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:14:47 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

Once recieved an unsolicited CM mail from a stunning woman located in New Zealand,who offered me the opportunity to be her slave.Needless to say I was perplexed,in my mind there were certain logistical problems......Problems my prospective new owner pish poshed away ,explaining for the time being she would Dominate me via email and IM till I was ready to fly half way around the world to fall at her feet.The whole experience was for me amusing.....I am sure if I would have continued the correspondence much more merriment would have ensued......


You seem familiar. :-)
maybe she was a scammer.

(in reply to slvemike4u)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:15:22 PM   
chathamvahere


Posts: 81
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		I just do not get the whole online/cam/email thing, If I can't touch her, bend her and see her sweat, it just isn't real or worth doing.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:18:57 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Two words: Wank Fodder. Didn't we cover this in another thread already? ;)



I don't care if they jack or wank. I'm sure my real life boyfriends do the same when they go home after spending time with me. What I want to know is what makes a submissive obey a master through the internet? How does the dominant power move through email.

btw, Do you answer every op with the response ...."wank fodder" ?

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:26:09 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		LOL!

Loliita you kill me!

And DominaSmartass, in her jeans and combat boots. What's not to love about that? You guys rock.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Loliita)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:32:33 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Dead serious Answer.

Because to many what we do is a fucking game and something that they Play around with because actually doing it would be unacceptable to thier idea of socially acceptable and to question what is acceptable or not is just to difficult for them so that play at it with words and then only experince what it is that we do in the privacy and control of thier own minds.

Now Paint your Toe Nails each a different collor and Masturbate with a Spatula and then e-mail what you were thinking about while you were subitting to my commands and uber Domliness.

Signed

SuperGrandMasterDom4U2Bslave2

Aka Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:33:04 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

LOL!

Loliita you kill me!

And DominaSmartass, in her jeans and combat boots. What's not to love about that? You guys rock.


Just call me Lolita (one i) The extra i is because a closed account had Lolita with one i.

Are you jacking my thread in order to praise me? ummm....Okay, I'll let it go this time. :-)

I don't see any male submissives telling me why they like email domination. They are around, I know, because my inbox is still receiving messages. They just don't seem to read the forums. Too bad for them because I generally reply to email from forum posters.

..........hint hint to any male submissives reading and stalking.






(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:34:44 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		*hurries away to get the nail polish*

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:35:41 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline 		To SteelofUtah.....errrr...okay?




(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:39:53 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Perhaps I should have said that the first part was serious and the other part was a Parody of what you are confused about.

There really isn't much to get about it. Some people do what we do in the Physical world and some perfer it only in thier mind and so the E-mail gives them a faceless act that they don't have to be ashamed of because it was all just in thier head.

Maybe, lighten up a bit, have fun, Life is Life and remember no one gets out alive.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:48:53 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Perhaps I should have said that the first part was serious and the other part was a Parody of what you are confused about.

There really isn't much to get about it. Some people do what we do in the Physical world and some perfer it only in thier mind and so the E-mail gives them a faceless act that they don't have to be ashamed of because it was all just in thier head.

Maybe, lighten up a bit, have fun, Life is Life and remember no one gets out alive.

Steel



You're making up your own op question and answering it. I didn't ask what the men get out of it because I already know that. I asked ....
quote:

Guys, can a woman really control you through email?


I want to know how a man is controlled by a dominant through email when the man has nothing to fear from the lady and doesn't even have her presence to be in awe of.
You're not a sub so maybe you don't know the answer to the real op question.

Oh, your statement about no one getting out of life alive....has not been proven in my case as of yet. :-P

< Message edited by Loliita -- 1/16/2009 10:51:31 PM >

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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 10:55:15 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loliita

I want to know how a man is controlled by a dominant through email when the man has nothing to fear from the lady and doesn't even have her presence to be in awe of.


I don't personally know anyone who uses fear as a vehicle to deliver their dominance.  Maybe a small few who use awe, but awe doesn't have a lot of staying power.

They do it because it fulfills their fantasy.  They want someone to tell them what to do; you tell them what to do and their fantasy is fulfilled.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Loliita)
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RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 11:08:52 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:


I don't personally know anyone who uses fear as a vehicle to deliver their dominance.  Maybe a small few who use awe, but awe doesn't have a lot of staying power.




President Bush had shock and awe, I have fear and awe.

Some boyfriends obeyed me because they feared I would not see them anymore if they didn't.
All boyfriends obeyed me because they were in awe of me.

My awe has a lot of staying power because I am AWESUM! :-O


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 11:11:22 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Well, as long as those sorts of relationships make you happy, more power to ya.



Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Loliita)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/16/2009 11:13:32 PM   
Loliita


Posts: 69
Joined: 1/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Well, as long as those sorts of relationships make you happy, more power to ya.



Cali



Thank you. Yes, relationships where I and the guy (or girl) both get what we want....those relationships do make me happy. :-)

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Guys...I don't "get" email domination. - 1/17/2009 12:51:34 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		Well, I am a guy, a sub, and not into email domination, but I will give you the dubious value of my insights.  I learned everything I knew about BDSM (up until a few weeks ago) in "Second Life" MMORPG environment.  I play there as a woman avatar and have submitted to a wonderful woman in the "game".  While I am with her online, I will do anything for her that the 3D environment allows.  I feel as if I have completely submitted to her.  And then we both log out and I can go to work, or to class, or whatever.  It is my belief that many of the online-only crowd like to be able to "put it away" after logging and have essentially the best of both worlds.  As I now begin my journey into real life BDSM, I understand that the commitments are real, the consequences are real and the interaction is real, in other words, the stakes are higher.  For those who have never tried the real thing, it may be frightening or maybe just harder than the email/online version. 

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to Loliita)
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