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RE: How Did It End? - 1/17/2009 9:06:30 PM

hardbodysub

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She got engaged to another guy. That's where I draw the line. I dumped her right away.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/17/2009 11:17:00 PM

OneMoreWaste

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She told me over and over I was what she wanted.
She told me over and over that she'd make it real.
I gave everything- *EVERYTHING*- for almost half my life, waiting for a real reason to believe.
And then one day, it all just snapped.
*ptink*

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/17/2009 11:28:45 PM

proudsub

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quote:

How did your last relationship end? Why did it end? Whose fault, if any? How did both parties take the ending?

It ended when he posted some pictures of me in a photo contest on a public cam site and hubby saw them.

It was my fault for having an affair and then letting him take picures.

He took it badly and stalked me online for about 6 months. For me, it gave me the opportunity to explain the lifestyle to Hubby who then became my Dom, something i should of done in the beginning.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/17/2009 11:53:53 PM

vield

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My last relationship that ended was ended by my partner. She knew I was seeking a poly connection but when I found a partner for that, she decided she really needed monogamy. She is still a dearly loved friend to myself AND my current partner.

My previous partner and I got to be friends via e-mail comments we made back and forth about info each of us posted to local BD/SM e-groups. My current partner and I met when we accidentally backed into each other at a play party that was 185 miles away from where I live and 120 miles (in a different direction) from where she was living.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/18/2009 12:55:45 AM

dreamerdreaming

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LOL!

My answer?

Its top secret. If I told ya, I'd hafta kill ya.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/18/2009 1:58:05 AM

IronBear

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How: Badly
Why: I was lied to from the beginning
Fault: Hers for lying and Mine for taking things at face value.
How the parties take it: I shut the door but her friends tried to blacken my name... I have huge shoulders and like all ursines, shit doesn't stick..

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/18/2009 3:31:56 AM

faithfulfemme

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Hy messaged me on a Butch-Femme personals website on Christmas eve, 2008. We emailed back and forth, and on Jan 4 this year Hy asked me to go with Hym to the movies.  i accepted. We hit it off instantly. By Sunday, the 11th, i was at Hys house, staying for a couple of days. On Tuesday afternoon when Hy came home from work, after having had a very bad day, Hy jumped my sh*t. On Thursday Hy came home in the early afternoon to change Hys work clothes because of a chemical spill, and again, because Hy was having a bad day, Hy jumped my sh*t. i said just because You're having a bad day is no reason to take it out on me.. As soon as Hy left, i packed my stuff up and went home.

And just for the record, while i was there, i cooked meals, did laundry, cleaned house, fed the dog and walked him outside while it was snowing......

If this is how it was going to go after only a week, i can imagine how it would be after 4-5 months. i don't allow my family to talk to me that way, much less people i don't know well.

i'm ok with it, i don't know how Hy is with it, and don't much care.......

However, what a shame......i finally meet a StoneButch Dom right in the same city,  and Hy turns out to be an ijiot.....*sigh*.....oh, well, i'm no worse off than i was before i met Hym.................NEXT!......

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 3:01:37 PM

SlaveIndigochild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JackHammer2000

How did your last relationship end? Why did it end? Whose fault, if any? How did both parties take the ending?

This question is really sticking in my head at the moment as i am truly struggling....
but looking back? There are very few differences in the way i remember ending all of my relationships both vanilla and bdsm.....
i removed consent.
Looking back i think consent showed up differently for each of those contexts. In vanilla consent was assumed and never formalised. Unless of coirse I count formal marriage as formalisation of consent (as in until death us do part). Because it was assumed consent it took me far too long to realised that is indeed what i had done and thrice in vanilla marriage i felt a victim because i wasn't that clear, procrastinated more than once, gave back my consent....for the sake of children, finacial committment or sheer anxiety. But although actually saying NO might have been sometime in being spoken it had already happened as inner experience anyway. I withdrew sonsent slowly often in terms of small acts of defiance like refusing to wash-up, refusing to talk, refusing to sleep in the same bed, refusing to go home or go back, but even in small acts of defiance like refusing to be polte....knowing all to well that lack of consent would be like a slowly dripping tap tap tap of water and eventaully wear away the stone.
Withdrawing of consent in my bdsm relationships have been much more of a defini'tive moment...I've walked out of a room, even )with regret) asked for release on my profile as all other means of communicatiom were blocked and i felt justified in doing so), I've made a telephone call, i have gone to make a witness statement, I've driven away with tears in my eyes barely able ro see. The behaviours were not the thing....the thing was I withdrew consent, always accompanied by self-induced sub-drop. Ambivalence....taking back power which I had given willingly but feeling emotionally defeated at the same time.
Reasons for withdrawing consent? One dom was dishonest, (long term undislosed vanilla relationship), one wanted to travel/much younger/free spirited, one lived at a distance and also worked away for fifty per cent of the time.....i was feeling desperately insecure about being part, and in one dynamic i felt physically unsafe.
Eaach time i have withdrawn consent i felt mixes of feeling guilty, that i had failed, that i would die, that i had no edges.
At the moment i am numb and absolutely withdrawn......

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 5:15:05 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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I used to love her...but

I had to kill her...

Now shes buried right in my...backyard*

Those were the....days.

Ahhh! The great wise words of Guns N Roses.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 1/31/2009 5:16:19 PM >

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 5:52:31 PM

Naberius

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1998, November 14th I was meeting my slaves at the airport where they were picking me up. On their way to me, they were struck by a dump truck and killed at the scene. I never got to say goodbye. Nicole, 19, Amber, 26 and Nyte 53. It has taken me 10 years to finally get over it and seek a new family.

I met the girls through a LONG process of searching. I had the poly family I wanted so much, and it took a good 9 years just to develop and it took seconds to end that.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 5:59:26 PM

feydeplume

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Wow that is a thread killer.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 10:49:41 PM

HisSub1213

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JackHammer2000

How did your last relationship end? Why did it end? Whose fault, if any? How did both parties take the ending?

You can also post about relationships other than your last one that may have a more interesting ending.

And, of course, please feel free to post about more than one relationship and how they ended.

If you're willing to share, it might be a good idea to mention how your relationship started as well.

He simply, and quite literally just walked away, not a word of explanation, not even a good bye. Why? I wish I knew. I'm putting it behind me the best I can.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 10:59:49 PM

Nikitaa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JackHammer2000
]How did your last relationship end? Why did it end? Whose fault, if any? How did both parties take the ending?
.......

You did not ask for dogs middle name. Why not? You ask everything else.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 11:03:20 PM

Nikitaa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

She got engaged to another guy. That's where I draw the line. I dumped her right away.

I laughed when I read this. I hope you wrote this as a joke. If this not a joke I am sorry for you and I apologize for laughing.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 11:08:49 PM

MoGa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Naberius

1998, November 14th I was meeting my slaves at the airport where they were picking me up. On their way to me, they were struck by a dump truck and killed at the scene. I never got to say goodbye. Nicole, 19, Amber, 26 and Nyte 53. It has taken me 10 years to finally get over it and seek a new family.

I met the girls through a LONG process of searching. I had the poly family I wanted so much, and it took a good 9 years just to develop and it took seconds to end that.

<Hugs>

< Message edited by MoGa -- 1/31/2009 11:09:17 PM >

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 11:17:45 PM

domiguy

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my next relationship will end because she will feel neglected. I will tell her that it is all in her head and that ol' whatshername should quit buggin' me.

we will meet over a few drinks. they will be an immediate attraction. initially she will think that everything is perfect. it will inevitably be her fault for not possessing the wit, body and brains to overcome my A.D.D.

What a selfish bitch.

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RE: How Did It End? - 1/31/2009 11:19:04 PM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

She got engaged to another guy. That's where I draw the line. I dumped her right away.

That is funny. It is supposed to be funny, right?

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RE: How Did It End? - 2/1/2009 1:56:28 AM

BondageBarbieX

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I have only had 2 serious relationships my whole life and only have slept with 5 men so I really have no experience with break ups etc. ...but I met my MasterDaddy at 15 and was married to him till he passed away in 2004 of a heart attack he suffered at work.I have been with my current Daddy awhile and am very happy with him.I do not see my relationship with him ending anytime soon.

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RE: How Did It End? - 2/1/2009 11:20:14 AM

windycitysub78

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Last BDSM relationship:

She moved on to grad school, I finally got into my career field. Being young, we drifted apart. ...as powerful as it was for me.

As for vanilla, well, who cares about vanilla? :)

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RE: How Did It End? - 2/1/2009 12:05:12 PM

Lashra

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He was 17 years my senior and a novice submissive. He had a desire to learn and grow. I took him on. the first two years were wonderful, the third year he discovered a series of books that made him question his male submission. He was told in chatrooms that a man "takes" what he wants from a woman. He tried this while we were playing one night, he found out a concussion really hurts like hell. That was the end of it, I've never heard from him since.

~Lashra

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