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RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/9/2006 8:14:13 PM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Aha......and here you clearly see the dilemma. This is, unfortunately, the reality of the situation. What compounds the problem even more is that the more experienced doms will also seek out the younger and less experienced submissives. For the experienced dominant, finding an equal level of experience in their potential partners seems to be much less of an issue than it is for experienced submissives. They tend to enjoy in the newness of those less experienced, and less face it, they have that comfort zone because it is not their ass that is literally on the line. Thus, this further decreases the sheer numbers of potential partners for the experienced submissive who is searching.


Thanks, I was hoping I was making some sense in my posts. Thanks for shining an even brighter light on the subject.


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Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/9/2006 8:24:09 PM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

ehlovindom - thank you for the nod in your op.

About your question. It works better for me to have someone knowledgeable. Yes, I want him to grow and hope that I can provide that in some form. It's important for me to learn new things, experience new things, and I know I would resent someone I had to "train" to be a Dom. But that doesn't close the door on sharing many new experiences together...that's part of the fun and bonding.


Always happy to give credit where credit is due, especially with intelligent and thought provoking insights, as witnessed by many posts to my slightly "unfocused queries!"

Having said that, I definitely do not mean a submissive would "train" her dom. Like pettaurus, I don't enjoy using the word "train" and can't see such a relationship working. But if a dom had the heart of JohnWarren perhaps and have looked into themselves like LuckyAlbatross yet has only started on their journey, would he still not be welcome by a submissive who has walked much further along the path?


_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/14/2006 3:55:30 PM   
IceyOne


Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

How important is it to you that your master be more experienced than you are? Would you enter into a relationship knowing that you would be helping him grow much more than he will be helping you?


Experience comes in many forms. Age, maturity, RL experience. To totally answer your question, all must be taken into account, either seperatly or together.

From the age view:
I don't view someone 'older than me' as being more experienced. Nor do I view someone younger than me as being less experienced. I believe that learning can be had from any age; and that a person can learn from those who are not only older, but sometimes younger also. So, from the view of age...experience means nothing, only their desire to learn.

From the view of maturity:
Anyone that I was to consider would have to show a maturity that was compatible with mine.

From the view of RL experience:
Yes, I would perfer that anyone I was with be more experienced in real life than I was. That does not mean that they have to be older though, only know what they are talking about, how to do it safely, and know when not to try something.

So, I guess I could be with someone who was younger, only if he/she had more RL experience in the lifestyle, and showed a maturity level that was adequate.
I could be with someone older, with the same rules applying.
I could not be with someone younger or older who was just starting out and looking to learn.
I definitly could not be with someone older/younger who showed a lack of maturity, no matter how much RL experience they had.

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(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/14/2006 5:29:34 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a male slave, but my answer is similar to the female slaves/subs.

I would not trust a young Domme to play with me. I suppose this is partly a function of age (though not completely). I think anyone under 30, certainly, would not have the experience and wisdom to really know what they were doing. Probably 35 or 40 would be even better.

After all, my health and safety is in the hands of the Domme.

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/15/2006 12:34:41 AM   
wipmebeetme100


Posts: 198
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Would you enter into a relationship knowing that you would be helping him grow much more than he will be helping you?


Maybe i have this all wrong....but i have always felt that when entering into a relationship with a Dominant....regardless of his experience, that i am helping him to grow as well as him helping me to grow. I am not the sub or slave he has owned previously...so he will be learning all about me. I am not a puzzle piece that will fit just right in the empty spot that his previous partner left....so he will have to take the puzzle all apart and start from the beginning. There will be lots of growth on both parts.


Peace,
cathy

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(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/15/2006 8:28:30 AM   
ehlovindom


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wipmebeetme100

Maybe i have this all wrong....but i have always felt that when entering into a relationship with a Dominant....regardless of his experience, that i am helping him to grow as well as him helping me to grow. I am not the sub or slave he has owned previously...so he will be learning all about me. I am not a puzzle piece that will fit just right in the empty spot that his previous partner left....so he will have to take the puzzle all apart and start from the beginning. There will be lots of growth on both parts.

Peace,
cathy


Sounds to me that you have it all right, but I think we might be in the minority.


_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to wipmebeetme100)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/15/2006 8:43:39 AM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom


quote:

ORIGINAL: wipmebeetme100

Maybe i have this all wrong....but i have always felt that when entering into a relationship with a Dominant....regardless of his experience, that i am helping him to grow as well as him helping me to grow. I am not the sub or slave he has owned previously...so he will be learning all about me. I am not a puzzle piece that will fit just right in the empty spot that his previous partner left....so he will have to take the puzzle all apart and start from the beginning. There will be lots of growth on both parts.

Peace,
cathy


Sounds to me that you have it all right, but I think we might be in the minority.



i agree, it is right to me as well. you know, being in the minority is not a bad thing.

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/18/2006 10:26:11 AM   
ARTIFICER


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subspaceinMD

Where would you suggest that someone wanting to learn how to be dominant start out at?



are you trying to take someone who's been vanilla their whole life and now make them dominant because you're a little kinky?

(in reply to subspaceinMD)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/18/2006 11:13:25 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ehlovindom


How important is it to you that your master be more experienced than you are? Would you enter into a relationship knowing that you would be helping him grow much more than he will be helping you?



I think if I were single tommorow I'd probably want a dominant who had experience in a long term ownership and doing a variety of SM. That doesn't mean that they'd have to be more or less experienced than me (I only have about 9-10 years experience). But there would be certain common experiences that I'd want them to have.

C~

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(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/18/2006 11:13:45 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		quote:

ORIGINAL: subspaceinMD

Where would you suggest that someone wanting to learn how to be dominant start out at?



are you trying to take someone who's been vanilla their whole life and now make them dominant because you're a little kinky?
----------

i have reservations on that too.
but yet
hell.."I" am vanilla...and both my dommes/owners have tried making me kinky.
i just dont fit the mold.
wished it were i could. i feel bad, i cannot do for Her, what others CAN.


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to ARTIFICER)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/18/2006 12:58:21 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I would submit that assuming it is a 24/7 live in relationship that the fact that an S-type will almost always be able to learn to accept/ take a new activity in a shorter time than a D-type can learn a new skill to be applied, eventually the levels of knowledge will meet with most pairings.


In Leather

Archer

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/18/2006 2:39:00 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		they have that comfort zone because it is not their ass that is literally on the line.
========

not.........stirring the pot for ya.......
whomever said this...
====================================================
but uh
arent we ALL...........on the line in this?
the D have to open their doors and open their most intimate life secrets.
the s open their hearts and some allow their bodies to be used....

"I" would say we ALL open ourselves to-chance.


anyone?
no one?

just guessing here,k?


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The more experienced submissive - 1/18/2006 3:54:10 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

How important is it to you that your master be more experienced than you are?


Very

quote:

Would you enter into a relationship knowing that you would be helping him grow much more than he will be helping you?


No, been there, done that. That's the reason for the answer to the first question.

feline=^..^=

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to ehlovindom)
Profile   Post #: 53
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