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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 7:04:18 AM

oceanwynds

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Very well put Agirl.
Hiya , hope life is treating you good.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 7:07:49 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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I used to note on my profile that I'm fairly new to what we do, and used to attract the attention of a master in CA, who would offer to be my slave, but proceeded to write pages and pages telling me how wonderful and "sophisticated", oh how he loved that word, he was. He bored me nearly to tears, but aside from that, he was trying to get my mind in the exact right set so that we could both explore blah, blah, blah. And he always ended with demanding my phone number because it was easier to communicate that way. I actually did give him my number once (under a different name), and the on the phone, sounded just as full of hot air. Oh well, talk about wrongly matched.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 7:39:40 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lee4U2tie

When a Dom makes long long speeches or gives you tasks to do that have nothing to do with a Dom/sub type setting?

I'm a type that likes things to be pretty cut and dry, you know, get your points across, no flowery long ass speeches that take all day. Unless you have a voice that's a joy to listen to, it's not really interesting to me. I'll loose focus pretty easy, and it might be ADD, who knows, I am and Art student after all lol. But long winded speeches really don't interest me, especially when it's added in with others own beliefs, say if they think they can read stones, or your energy or have psychic ability. really just makes them sound like a nutjob to me.

And it is well-known that artistic types are, for the most part, straight and clear and to the point when discussing their love...artistic endeavors and artistic theory.
So...find a dominant who's succinct and to the point. If he converses hardly ever, even better, right?

quote:

The other thing is, does a Dom ever give you subs a random text message to look up somethign for him that has nothing to do with you and him/her and your relationship? Does it annoy you? It annoys me. I'm not a personal secretary...personal secretaries get PAID...

No, you're not a personal secretary...you are a submissive. Submissive meaning to yield your will to that of the one you've agreed to yield your will to. Nothing stops you from being annoyed but I have to wonder; if such a small request annoys you, what are you like when the big requests...like stop your whining for a day...come along?

quote:

Any other annoying little things you've exsperienced that are thigns you'd preffer if a Dom didn't do? Oh and Doms feel free to say any little annoying thing that you see subs do that you wish wouldn't be. ^_~

I wish to stop seeing submissives whining on here about things that seem pretty small, not just to me, but to those who shrug and say "incompatibility". I know I was snarky above...~shrugs~...but tis true. If these things annoy you to the point of bringing them to the boards, it sounds like incompatibility and sort of belies what you state in your profile about being ready to serve.
I wish to stop seeing dominants knocked for being who and what they are by submissives who agreed to serve them.
I wish to stop seeing submissives knocked for being who and what they are not because they won't do a 10 degree or 45 degree or 90 degree turn from what they are but because they won't do a complete 180 in 30 days flat.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 1/19/2009 7:44:33 AM >

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 7:42:00 AM

pixidustpet

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do i find it annoying? hmm...

i find it annoying when TheEngineer asks me to do something then goes behind me and does it himself. i find it annoying that he is insisting i go to the DENTIST!!! HARD LIMIT!!!! (ok, so there were no real problems and she said my teeth looked good for not having dental care for about 15 years.)

he and i are both humans first. he does stuff that tapdances on my VERY LAST NERVE sometimes. gleefully. with malice aforethought. then gives me that look and says "damn straight i'm a bad Daddy!" so i get my own back by telling him REALLY bad jokes.

he's gonna piss me off, especially when i'm having a bad pain day, or hormones are rearing their ugly heads, or any one of a thousand other reasons. but he wants me here with him. and most of the time we get along just fine, and he laughs about annoying me.

cause we KNOW i never do anything to annoy him.

kitten, who does, but never when he's being serious.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 7:56:37 AM

lronitulstahp

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quote:

have nothing to do with a Dom/sub type setting?

Maybe first, you should define what it is you believe to be a Dom/sub setting. It may be that your ideas vary greatly with many Dominants. It sounds like you may not be interested in being a service submissive. All those tasks get me hot and bothered....but i understand how it could be tedious to some.

Communicate what you enjoy, but also keep an open mind about those things that up to this point, you haven't experienced or enjoyed as much. It could be you find out some things about yourself. Think of them as oppurtunities. Perhaps they can be a means of growth. i mean making lists, or being an organizer aren't exactly dangerous, insane, extreme activities. Try it some more, you may like it....( i sound like i'm talking about Brussels sprouts

)

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 8:04:00 AM

MadRabbit

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Only some of the most dominant, demanding individuals out there who click the submissive box tend to annoy me.

Okay...gotta stop posting in the mornings when I am only halfway into a cup of coffee.

I tend to be overbearing in conversation like I am overbearing in most things. It has it's pros and cons. Most of the girls I have dated love the sound of my voice and how I express myself so only had one complaint about talking too long, but none the less communication shouldn't be all about me talking so I have had to learn to tone it down.

If I told a girl to do something and she responded with how she wasn't my personal secretary, that would definitely annoy me and I would lodge my foot up her ass.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 8:20:01 AM

monywildcat

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Okay, I have not read one single post in response to your question, OP. I personally find it incredibly annoying when a random Dom/Master/Daddy whatever gets all long-winded, especially if that initial "spark" is not present. If he were to ask me to research something random I may have in the past done so, if I had the time, but I guess this is how I am wired. Annoying? A bit, seeing that Google and Wiki are my best buds, and use them often. But I would have done it anyway, because I am helpful like that.

However, Daddy can talk and talk all day long and I will happily sit and all of my focus is on him. Because, simply speaking, he is the one for me. Those that are long-winded obviously weren't, else I would have sat happily with all my focus on them. And I have gotten texts and calls to do things that have nothing whatsoever to do with WIITTD (hey how many beers are left in the fridge? Are we out of bread? Do you want to drive my car to work, and pay attention to that wobble in my front end, any thoughts on what it is, etc) and these do not annoy me in the least, because it's Daddy asking me these things, and I happily do them. Am I his personal secretary/seamstress-laundress/alarm clock/best-friend and sounding board? Absolutely, if that is what he requires for personal fulfillment. I have no problem with this. I am well aware that personal secretaries, and all of the above, get PAID but I get paid in a much more valuable sense than dollars in my purse. Okay, I am off now to read the other replies to this question. Best of luck to you!

Edited to add: Okay, it really sounds like I am in sub-frenzy here, but seriously folks. Yes, I have to admit that there are times when I am incredibly annoyed (have you seen my wallet? where are my clean socks?) when requests come pouring in, usually when I am trying really hard to sleep after an eventful graveyard shift. It's normal. I am sure I annoy Daddy sometimes. He tells me so. I'm about to annoy him now, because I want to chat about my day. (pray for me!) It may not be a compatibility issue so much as a "I'm a person and sometimes I'm going to get prickly about little things" issue. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. If it starts to look like it may possibily border on bitterness and resentment, then I would worry. Otherwise, google what you are asked, check and see when the cell phone bill is due, and do so with a smile on your face. Things could be SO much worse.

< Message edited by monywildcat -- 1/19/2009 8:28:32 AM >

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 8:52:23 AM

Amaros

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I get pretty long winded, but the sad truth is the culture as a whole is pretty much conditioned to getting things in short little sound bytes, very few people seem to have the patience to listen to long speeches, and I'm no exception - there are women who won't stop talking either, a lot depends on the context, normally, I'm on a pretty tight schedule, if I'm just fucking off, talk away, I'll stick something in your mouth if I want you to shut up.

As for the other stuff, sometimes I need a maid, secretary, girl Friday, etc., and I look for prospective partners with that in mind, just like you need a handyman, guy to take the trash out, etc., these are skills you bring into a relationship - if it's just a casual sex thing, then maybe not so much.

To me, it's just economics, a committed relationship has quite a lot to do with economics,and in fact, I don't expect anyone to do it without getting something out of it, I don't assign busy work just to keep you off balance, there is going to be some reason for it, it will be to some mutual end.

I'm an artist too for example, I do graphic fiction, erotica, and it's a collaborative medium, I could use inking, coloring, lettering skills, etc., and this is often piecework, paid by the page, and as far as I'm concerned entitles you to a fair share of the profits, and no reason you can't freelance - then there's writing, promotion, sales, networking, etc., which are other skills some of which I'm going to have to contract out regardless.

I'm essentially running a home business, I'm very much into the whole entrepreneurial thing, so it would be ideal for me to have somebody with a little of that entrepreneurial drive who want's to get something going and gains some financial independence in the process. It's not a deal breaker, it's just there, we all have to make a living, and we all have our interests and pursuits and that's a good thing. If you are getting in each others way however, it's very dysfunctional, and doesn't do either of you any good.

In any case, I think you are right, you seem to want to be independent, and that's good, but some people do find independence threatening, and they'll always be trying to throw you off track, so it helps if you have a stubborn streak, it is your life, and I can see where it might be tough to get that balance between submission and independence.

Submission is often expressed as a need, but it doesn't mean you don't have other needs too, even if they conflict with submission, you have to draw your own lines, set your own limits.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 9:01:04 AM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lee4U2tie

see I get this the most. I know that it's for his benefit and that it makes his life easier, and I do it, don't get me wrong, I don't say no to such petty requests, I just found myself annoyed today by it, so I thought of posting this. ^_^

That's interesting *S*

I tend to get annoyed when he doesn't ask me to do the little menial things alot of the time.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 9:28:36 AM

robertolapiedra

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Hello Lee4U2tie. ''When a Dom makes long long speeches or gives you tasks to do that have nothing to do with a Dom/sub type setting?''

- Short short speeches are just as much annoying for a sub who has a low capacity for listening.
- Tasks that have ''everything'' to do with a Dom/sub type setting can be very annoying when the sub
has a low compliance attitude.

I find speeches and tasks get easier as one's capacity to submit grows. In your case, I think you should
ponder what would be your reaction if the ''long long winded speeches'' and so called ''unrelated'' tasks
were to suddenly stop. Would it make you happy? or would you start to worry about your dom's capacity
to invest in you? Would you start doubting about his commitment to the dynamic?

It is very easy to submit when it is for fun. It is another thing to do it because of one's orientation in
a dynamic. I find roses to be prettier with the thorns. Some people do not. RL.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 9:33:56 AM

whiteslavebitch

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Many of my tasks are not D/s related, but a service to MasterK. Part of the reason i'm in a M/s relationship is to be of service. So I'd have to say no, I do not resent or find doing these things annoying.

The only time I've gotten a long speech from him was on the one occasion I was purposefully disobedient, and I deserved that lecture. I also did not find that to be annoying.

If I found those things to be annoying, I would wonder if I were in the correct type of relationship to be fulfilling to me.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 11:43:59 AM

DavanKael

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In offering service to a partner (With or without a D/s dynamic), it pleases me to serve him and fulfilling his desires, not deciding what is or is not acceptable for him to request (Unless it is inopposition to my personal sense of sanctity or morality).
Davan

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 11:54:34 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

Try it some more, you may like it....( i sound like i'm talking about Brussels sprouts)

Oh, oh!

Tulip reminded me of something He does that annoys me! He won't try brussel sprouts!
I mention them and this is the response I get.

How can something taste bad that's covered in butter?

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 2:57:48 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lee4U2tie

When a Dom makes long long speeches or gives you tasks to do that have nothing to do with a Dom/sub type setting?

I'm a type that likes things to be pretty cut and dry, you know, get your points across, no flowery long ass speeches that take all day. Unless you have a voice that's a joy to listen to, it's not really interesting to me. I'll loose focus pretty easy, and it might be ADD, who knows, I am and Art student after all lol. But long winded speeches really don't interest me, especially when it's added in with others own beliefs, say if they think they can read stones, or your energy or have psychic ability. really just makes them sound like a nutjob to me.
The other thing is, does a Dom ever give you subs a random text message to look up somethign for him that has nothing to do with you and him/her and your relationship? Does it annoy you? It annoys me. I'm not a personal secretary...personal secretaries get PAID...

Any other annoying little things you've exsperienced that are thigns you'd preffer if a Dom didn't do? Oh and Doms feel free to say any little annoying thing that you see subs do that you wish wouldn't be. ^_~

Who is calling who long winded. What annoys the hell outta me is ppl that are not concise and use the word annoy 4 times in 5 sentences.

BadOne

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/19/2009 3:47:41 PM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lee4U2tie

I haven't known Him long enough to like doing things for Him as much, but who knows, my opinion could drastically change over time.

I'm still sitting firmly in the camp of incompatibility.

When a relationship is new, that's when people tend to be on their best behavior, life is all sunshine and roses (sometimes referred to as NRE or "new relationship energy").

If you don't like doing small things to please him NOW, I'm thinking you never will.

Cali

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/20/2009 6:13:03 AM

Petruchio

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
What annoys the hell outta me is ppl that are not concise and use the word annoy 4 times in 5 sentences.

(or 2 times in 1 sentence)

(laughing)

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/20/2009 6:42:38 AM

Amaros

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I for one get that - my time is valuable, and I don't have a lot of it, I'd much rather cut through the bullshit, otherwise I start getting agitated because of all the shit that's piling up while I'm waiting for somebody to get to the point - other people thrive on fucking around, a doing vs. being sort of thing, type A and type B maybe, and the two don't always mix.

Artists are a bit different as well, we live in our heads a lot more than most people, and it's very disruptive to the creative state to have someone constantly trying to distract you - you really have to get into a zone sometimes, I manage it better now, but I used to get so focused I'd forget to eat or sleep, sometimes for a couple of days.

One reason it can be very difficult for two artists to get along sometimes.

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/20/2009 6:48:48 AM

sparkyRBF

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

Try it some more, you may like it....( i sound like i'm talking about Brussels sprouts)

Oh, oh! Tulip reminded me of something He does that annoys me! He won't try brussel sprouts!
I mention them and this is the response I get.

How can something taste bad that's covered in butter?

Tried to serve Master turkey bacon in an attempt to get him to eat healthier... about the same response with a "are you trying to kill me?" tossed in. but he does love brussel sprouts and we grow them in the garden every year. as long as they are smothered in butter and garlic and maybe some bacon grease LOL

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/20/2009 6:52:13 AM

IronBear

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Regarding long speeches and lectures, something my Father taught me and something I have found to be completely true which means I heed it when giving speeches or lecturing:

"The mind can absorb what the bottom can endure!"

Boredom or annoyance rarely comes into to it as I will leave ere it gets to overload (in the interests of maintaining peace and decorum).

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RE: Do you find it annoying... - 1/20/2009 6:56:23 AM

sparkyRBF

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Master and i were just talking about this the other day, things that annoy us. Comes to mind some of the best advice my aunt told me. "talk to each other about everyone, but don't talk to anyone about each other"

It makes me feel wanted and included in his life when given a task, no matter what it is. Changing your perspective sometimes changes your attitude about it. That is if you want to change it.

I love that Master and i can ride in the car for 5 or 6 hours and never turn the radio on because we are enjoying such a good conversation... nobody else in the world i'd rather learn from or listen to.

Good luck to you.

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