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RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/23/2009 11:16:37 PM   
gumshoe


Posts: 68
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline 		I've just perved your profile. Perhaps the people who stand you up are some kind of masochists?

_____________________________

Where there is no imagination there is no horror, Arthur Conan-Doyle.


(in reply to Coupleofwhats)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/23/2009 11:42:44 PM   
azjojoba


Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

So, I had a meet & beat set up for tonight with a new submissive.
An hour and a half before we're supposed to get together, I get the "I suddenly can't make it" email.

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!

Why is it so hard to set up a non-professional meeting with submissives?
95% of my professional sessions go off without a hitch! For all the complaining about tribute that goes on, it really does seem like the only way to get to the serious ones is to charge.

I'm seriously considering converting some clients to lifestyle: at least they show up when invited somewhere.


Probably most of the ones who flaked were horny when they emailed you, but then the reality of being dominated by a female stranger freaked them out. Most internet connections are just momentary fantasies.

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/24/2009 12:40:01 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan
You are the dominant, why aren't you being stricter with the way a conversation develops, ie why are you allowing two days of 'make me your bitch' talk, only to then suggest that you actually meet in person? Shouldn't you already have known in the first conversation that the person was interested only in getting their jollies fulfilled?  There are only ever willing participants in these things and you cannot blame the 'do me' subs for your poor choices
If things occurred exactly as you say, indeed you would be absolutely right; the fact that you understood it this way, is because in the process of making a long story short, I didn't sequence things as they happened...
On the first day, we chat, and I suggested we should meet for a drink or dinner (since we both live in the same small state), and when the chat began taking an obnoxious turn, I ended it.    On the second day, when no stearing would keep it from going back to "how will you be doing me", I ended the chat and blocked the individual.
I should clarify that my intent wasn't to say it's a wanker's fault for wanting material online, any more than it would be mine for giving it.   
I had a chat, it didn't go well, I ended it; no doubt I will have many more, and these take nothing away from me, because I take no one seriously until he shows up in person.     M


_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/24/2009 2:48:29 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I'm so, so strongly coming to the opinion that nothing works properly unless a vanilla friendship-connection is made, all BDSM talk must be avoided.  I've found the same to be true when approaching d-types, too.


Hi, Peon----
I agree with this whole-heartedly were she looking for a relationship with the person but it's my understanding (Please correct me if I am in error, OP) that she just wants to play with them. 
I suspect a lot of guys bail because they are intimidated; sometimes people freak when they are readily and easily offered exactly what they say they want. 
I had an ex-boyfriend who was pretty much willing to s*ck or f*ck whomever.  The fact that you're a very attractive, skilled lady wouldn't matter to him so much as the acts.  I think you need a bdsm version of him if you're cool with it not meaning anything to him per se.  Not sure where to find such a creature. 
I pondered the idea of converting existing clients to no-pay play partners.  I don't know if this would be an issue or not but couldn't the person potentially construe that you want to have a relationship with them, thus calling drama? 
Maybe posting on some swingers sites and being very clear about the bdsm interests would work?  Not all swingers have a no-strings approach but some do (Like the guy I described above) and some are kinky, perhaps you'll luck out. 
Best wishes,
Davan


I really did mean that from the sub's point of view too, Davan.  If a d-type's written to me and used heavy-duty dommie-speak from the outset, and launched straight into D/s fantasies, it's never gone anywhere.  It's just never paid to go along with it. 

The most obvious reasons for that (tribute dommes/ pro dommes/ passport hunters in disguise, etc, etc)  have been dealt with extensively elsewhere.  I'm sure no-one will mind if I move swiftly past those matters.  

Beyond all that, though, I have a little theory that there's a class of person who's just not quite ready to bring fantasy into reality.  Suddenly, the dream has to come out of the womb of fantasy-land (where's it's no doubt been residing not just for nine months, but many years) and into cold, harsh reality.   I don't suppose it's much different for subs approaching d-types either, nor would it matter if it were for the purpose of play-only, I'd guess.




_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/24/2009 3:38:45 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I was not there and for the purpose of clarification, I referred to your choice of comment when you specifically stated, "all I read for two days is "will you make me your bitch?", "will you use the strap on?", questions about whether my toes are painted". So, as you see, the situation didn't unravel as I say. You used a definite timeframe when describing a sequence of events.
quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1
If things occurred exactly as you say,


I understand why you didn't appreciate my former comments when I suggested that it does indeed take two to tango but you cannot criticise me for having misconstrued the situation when you further state that the moment the chat became obnoxious on day one you ended it, only to then go on and say that on day two you attempted to steer the sub onto a normal conversation but failed.
quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1
On the first day, we chat, and I suggested we should meet for a drink or dinner (since we both live in the same small state), and when the chat began taking an obnoxious turn, I ended it.    On the second day, when no stearing would keep it from going back to "how will you be doing me", I ended the chat and blocked the individual.


M, we learn from our experiences in life. We don't come into this world knowing how to respond in certain circumstances and I have been just as guilty of making poor choices, as you have, as the rest of the world's inhabitants have. All I am really trying to say here is how can a male submissive know how to conduct themselves in a conversation on an adult site such as this when the dominant to whom they are speaking isn't guiding them on what they expect.  I have always made it absolutely clear that I will not entertain someone if they want to either talk of their fantasies uninvited or want me to become an unwilling participant in such conversations.

This is an online playground, it's where people can follow their dreams, where many turn their dreams into reality and where we tend to get what we invite. Ultimately, we cannot complain for how we teach people to interact with us.

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/24/2009 3:47:37 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hi Aravain, thank you for the compliment, it was lovely logging onto CM to check posts on a sunny (makes a change for good ole Britain!) morning to see your comments and I'm glad you enjoyed reading some of my journal entries.
quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain
I must be in a pervy mood... XD

I looked meself. You are quite a beautiful woman :D Also, your journal entry from 12/30/07 is entrancing. Something I wish someone would do for me, to be honest.


_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/24/2009 4:12:07 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		I didn't fault you for misunderstanding my story as told initially.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan
We don't come into this world knowing how to respond in certain circumstances and I have been just as guilty of making poor choices, as you have, as the rest of the world's inhabitants have.
Oh I know how to respond to inappropriate conversation...  That I presume basic decency, is simply a choice I make because I cannot stand cynical people, and don't want to become one.   As to choices, I'm sure the universe sends me wankers for whatever learning I may still need, but certainly not a conscious or desired choice.   To the extent that I am online, that is an open invitation you could say. *shrug*

quote:

All I am really trying to say here is how can a male submissive know how to conduct themselves in a conversation on an adult site such as this when the dominant to whom they are speaking isn't guiding them on what they expect
I do set boundaries when a conversation takes a disrespectful turn, or shows behavior unbecoming a gentleman....  I am however not anyone's dominant while we are chatting or emailing.   Having said that, there is a fine line between being an adult capable of having conversations which sometimes take a turn to the sexual, and an obnoxious prude in setting boundaries.

quote:

I have always made it absolutely clear that I will not entertain someone if they want to either talk of their fantasies uninvited or want me to become an unwilling participant in such conversations
I tend to prefer someone behave as they would toward any lady, and decide if he is the type of person I can enjoy conversing with and being around.   I'm not the type who gives him rules of engagement while we are strangers on the internet.   I treat him as I would any other person, with basic courtesy.  All I expect is for him to speak to me as he would any lady he was interested in, and if in fact he is a crude sort, that tells me something about him.

quote:

Ultimately, we cannot complain for how we teach people to interact with us.
This is a little presumptuous, given a simple exchange of chat addresses with someone who has been very courteous over several emails.    I was/am not complaining about a chat, as much as pointing out the major disconnect between what he views as pampering and what I do.    M


_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/24/2009 4:40:46 AM   
LadyMedusa


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/12/2007
From: Florida
Status: offline 		 I am sorry that the little twit felt it neccesary to waste a perfectly good MnG , shows you how some are just players these days, and not the real deal. I have been seeking a girl since mine started college and has less time these days, but the three  I found either ....did not show up (1), were not the person in the pic (severly overweight)(2) or made an excuse in my e-mail (3)

_____________________________

LadyMedusa

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/24/2009 9:35:41 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Hi A/all,

To the OP I have only one thing to contribute:  My first entry into the scene was with a Pro Domme.  Making that appointment (and keeping it) was one of the most nerve wracking things that I'd ever been through.  Just so you know, by that time in my life I'd been shot at; stabbed; hit by lightning; struck by a rattle snake; and, over run by a forest fire.  I ain't a 'fraidy cat! 

Before we got started,  she had me wait a short while to se if anyone else showed up.  She always double booked first sessions.  I think that that says it all.

I don't know if these guys really are fakes and/or wankers.  I just remember how hard that first step was for me.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger


_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to LadyMedusa)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 11:37:28 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub


quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

So, I had a meet & beat set up for tonight with a new submissive.
An hour and a half before we're supposed to get together, I get the "I suddenly can't make it" email.

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!

Why is it so hard to set up a non-professional meeting with submissives?
95% of my professional sessions go off without a hitch! For all the complaining about tribute that goes on, it really does seem like the only way to get to the serious ones is to charge.

I'm seriously considering converting some clients to lifestyle: at least they show up when invited somewhere.


I would never bail out on a RL meeting any more than I would a professional session. If we took the time and effort to set it up, I'd be looking forward to it, and would be very disappointed to miss it.

I'm curious about something. You say 95% of your pro sessions go off without a hitch. So 5% get cancelled or otherwise fouled up? What percentage of your non-pro meetings happen? Also, if the number of non-pro meetings you're talking about are a lot less than the pro sessions, you don't have a large enough sample to make a fair judgment. Also, I would guess that a lot of your pro sessions are repeat clients. If you only count the INITIAL meeting with pro clients when comparing to non-pro, how different is the cancellation rate?




I have NEVER gotten someone to show up for just play.
NEVER.

I rarely get flaked on professionally: once in a blue moon, a regular might have a last-minute emergency or have to work late. And once in a while, you'll get some new guy who ends up being a bullshitter. But by and large, once I've scheduled a session, I get to do it.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 11:39:14 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		oops

< Message edited by Coupleofwhats -- 1/25/2009 11:41:24 AM >

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to BindSwitchBitch)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 11:40:58 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats


I'm seriously considering converting some clients to lifestyle: at least they show up when invited somewhere.


Do eeet!

Seriously,  I've only ever done it with two clients, but the one I'm still dating- and the other did some decent photos with me, and it was a good trade.

What you've got here is a bunch of guys too scared to face reality... take a client you've already gotten to know, and been able to play with.... knocks out the hardest bit right there.



Yeah, it's looking like the only way.
It's just so weird to me... you'd think that if you can get people to buy chunks of your time for play, it'd be super easy to give it away.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 11:49:01 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Hi A/all,

To the OP I have only one thing to contribute:  My first entry into the scene was with a Pro Domme.  Making that appointment (and keeping it) was one of the most nerve wracking things that I'd ever been through.  Just so you know, by that time in my life I'd been shot at; stabbed; hit by lightning; struck by a rattle snake; and, over run by a forest fire.  I ain't a 'fraidy cat! 

Before we got started,  she had me wait a short while to se if anyone else showed up.  She always double booked first sessions.  I think that that says it all.

I don't know if these guys really are fakes and/or wankers.  I just remember how hard that first step was for me.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger



I'm not saying it's not a scary thing: but if you're so scared that you can't do it, then don't respond!
I mean... I don't come across as a Grrrrrrr! Domme. We talked like normal people. The meeting was going to be public, so as to remove all safety concerns. Really, clients walk into a much scarier situation: I could actually be some giant guy, waiting for them to show up with a wad of cash.

And with all the online play available, you'd think that the too-scared-to-play guys would just chat or webcam with someone. Why stand someone up?

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 12:46:18 PM   
strangedesire


Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Coupleofwhats

I have NEVER gotten someone to show up for just play.
NEVER.



Wow.  I find that amazing.  I'm not half as pretty as you are, or nearly as skilled as I imagine you must be, but I have no trouble getting people to show up for play.  I get flakes too, and they drive me crazy, but I have enough real people show up to make it worthwhile. 

It must be your experience and physical attractiveness.  I can't imagine why else men would cancel on someone like you. 

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 12:50:24 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I have had a terrible time getting men to show up just for play as well.  It's one of the reasons I started being rigid about the place of the meeting--ie someplace *I* would not be inconvenienced by being at! 

Who knows...  thinking back to the numbers of men who filled out the app on my website, or left messages on the machine, the act of *approaching*  a dominant female is satisfaction enough for some.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to strangedesire)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 12:56:59 PM   
strangedesire


Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline 		I must be doing something right, most of the time.  I did drive half an hour to have someone bail on me last night, and I'm not happy about it, but I think that my ratio of meetings to no-shows is about 1:1.  Getting them to agree to meet is the tough part for me.  They tend to stop answering my emails, or go in circles when I try to get them to agree to a time. 

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 12:58:27 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I'm glad you're having good luck, Strangedesire!  I don't want to make it sound like I can't get a play partner, last winter when I got back to the hunt I was playing every weekend.  Still, it was WORK, and I would say that I hooked up with 10% of the ones I conversed with.  The others just flaked out. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to strangedesire)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 1:06:50 PM   
LunaVenus


Posts: 161
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline 		Darling, I know  the feeling. NEVER have I had so many no shows as on here on CM.  One guy was supposed to drive down for a meet and dinner yesterday... He never even called after weeks of long phone calls, web camming, IMing, etc. A total waste of time and energy.  I think many people are just into fake cyber D/s and passing time online. 

(in reply to aravain)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 1:34:34 PM   
ExtremeBondage


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		To add diversity to the mix!
I do a particular piercing, one I created and for the most part women like dealing with someone that has far more than just collecting the fee for the piercing  in mind.

Nuf said, of the contacts I  receive IM, email, phone or referral a full 65% talk and correspond in affirmative and enthuseastic manner. Yet at the time or date of their appointment do not show up, call or even send IM or email with an expliantion or reason for wasting my time and set up for their benefit.

As with many men or women on here, the tiniest request of compliance or demonstration of obedient behavior is too much to ask. I ask for a current "G" rated photo with a piece of paper in front of the female that has my name in bold letters on it. I have had one woman  respond , LOL she used lipstick to put my name across her naked breasts! She will be  living with kajira001 and I about mid summer 2009.

Of the total contacts over 2 years of some 600, sub slave, females there has been only one that has performed as she was required to. If they will not even send a "G" photo how can  you expect them to obey or perform as a sub or slave at all.  The level of cyber BS artists is amazing, the  wank fodder for both male and females is  also amazing. LOL !
" OK now you have me tied down , what are you going to do to me next",   huff, puff pant and squirm,LOL ! This is usually the  best give away to the fake and no show mentality.
With no possibility of ever  showing up or  being the bondage sex slave or victim they claim to be in their profile, real is hands on, sensations and emotions, not cyber!

Input or comment appreciated.

(in reply to LunaVenus)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Another One Bites the Dust (Rant) - 1/25/2009 2:43:48 PM   
slvemike4u


Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline 		I must be swimming in the wrong pool.Are you wonderful,beautiful woman actually having a problem getting sub/slave men to show up when presented with the opportunity to meet you.Woman who I would gladly crawl across glass to get next to,are being stood-up.This is hard for me to accept....   

< Message edited by slvemike4u -- 1/25/2009 2:44:46 PM >

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4


(in reply to ExtremeBondage)
Profile   Post #: 40
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