RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:38:56 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandofthehawk176

I also dont call her a sissy to her face.

So, you only do it behind her back? I'm sure what you think is perfectly clear.

I agree with LA, there's more to pain than just wailing away on someone.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 21

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:39:19 PM

bandofthehawk176

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline

What the hell makes you think i even use a paddle on her! I dont want to break a paddle over her ass. I just want to get a bit rougher with her. I dont mind yelps and sqeeks, but i dont like it when she cries and screams. May i also say that what i do to her typically doesnt make her scream and cry Because i go so easy on her!

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 22

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:46:48 PM

bandofthehawk176

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline

I dont "enjoy" receiving it, but i tollerate it to deminstrate to her that i wouldnt do anything to her i couldnt do to myself. I like agressive play and at her cerrent state she seriously limits that play. To her pain is all the same. Im not some hack morron who goes arround beating my loving slave with a baseball bat. I know she is trying, but she also wants to better herself as well.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 23

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:47:33 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Get her a new dom, who doesn't belittle her by calling her a Sissy and a wimp for how she feels in regards to pain and stuff.
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandofthehawk176

So i have a Sub girl who is a sissy
when it comes to pain. Any ideas how to make her a bit
more able to handle it?

My thoughts exactly.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 24

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:52:15 PM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandofthehawk176

So i have a Sub girl who is a sissy
when it comes to pain. Any ideas how to make her a bit
more able to handle it?

T1981 swooped in early and said it well.

In my 10+ years at this, I've never heard about or discovered any working method to increase someone's tolerance for anything that he or she didn't particularly care all that much for in the first place. Perhaps you may get a small amount of mileage with alternating significant amounts of pleasurable sensations with more painful sensations to try to work up her threshold a bit, but I do believe your end result will be limited in terms of an increase in pain tolerance.

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 25

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:52:18 PM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline

If she wants to try raising her pain tolerance, try some of the things I suggested earlier in this thread. Those may help. Thank you, E2Sweet for the nod!

But you may never get the amount of masochism that you desire - for instance, there have been times when my husband has let me take a paddle to him. (Okay, two or three times, but still....) Now I can take alot of pain, but he can't. Do I want to push him? Yes. Do I want to just lay out the paddle and make his ass red? Yes. Am I a little dissapointed that I can't? Yes.

But the point remains that I don't. Why? Because I love him and I don't want to hurt him. Because he simply isn't wired that way. It's not a failure on my part and it's not a failure on his. It's just the way it is. There's always going to be room for dissapointment, so try focusing on the good parts. After all, it's not everyday that you find a woman who is willing to let you beat her at all, so the fact that you have a gal who is willing to try is pretty spectacular in and of itself.

Also, if you like it "rough", you may simply try adding some bondage to light beatings. That can do alot to ramp up the intensity WITHOUT ramping up the pain.

< Message edited by T1981 -- 1/27/2009 7:53:36 PM >

_____________________________

"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 26

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:55:07 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

Could be that she's actually enduring more pain than you think. For instance if you're using something that really stings, like some kind of leather, it doesn't really take a whole lot of whallop to inflict a good amount of pain.

If you'd like to share the details, I'm kind of curious as to what you are using on her and how, when she yelps and cries.

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 27

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:57:10 PM

bandofthehawk176

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline

See!!! Now you are helpful. thank you!

(in reply to T1981)

Post #: 28

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 7:59:33 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandofthehawk176

I dont "enjoy" receiving it, but i tollerate it to deminstrate to her that i wouldnt do anything to her i couldnt do to myself. I like agressive play and at her cerrent state she seriously limits that play. To her pain is all the same. Im not some hack morron who goes arround beating my loving slave with a baseball bat. I know she is trying, but she also wants to better herself as well.

I didn't say you were... I think you missed my point.

If you don't enjoy it, what makes you think she will?
Not everyone is wired that way.

If she isn't then she is not being a bad slave.

What is it about the thought of giving someone pain that is important to you?
If it is the control, you may be able to find other ways of achieving the same thing without inflicting pain.

If it is that inflicting pain is incredibly erotic to you then you are a sadist who should try to find a masochist.
I don't think she is...and again it is no failing on her part if that is the case.

Do you understand what I meant by "more" and "better"?

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 29

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 8:00:24 PM

bandofthehawk176

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline

On a detour from the topic at hand, How do you all get those cool symbols over your names and pictures?

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 30

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 8:01:43 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

it goes by post count

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 31

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 8:03:17 PM

bandofthehawk176

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline

Im actually not quite possitive what you mean by "more" or "better" different people have different ideas. However, you may be right about the sadist part.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 32

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 8:06:16 PM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline

"Better" pain (for me) starts out with some light, "stingy" action - a short rubber whip, some flicking from the cane, etc. Then we move on to the paddles, then back to the stingy, so on and so forth. The trick is to play around with the intensity.

"More" pain would simply be him grabbing our rubber tree straps (by far the most painful for me to take) and whacking the hell out of me, no build up, no warm up, no up and down.

Pain builds upon itself, so even if you are going softer than you were a minute ago, your body is still processing the pain from the last heavier strokes - so "better" pain often works around that fact rather than simply pushing it.

I'm not sure if this is what the poster meant for better v.s more, though.

Also, listing what toys you are using, how you are beating her, and what is prompting the screaming might help, too, as another poster said.

< Message edited by T1981 -- 1/27/2009 8:08:05 PM >

_____________________________

"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 33

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 8:13:37 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

T1981 had some excellent ideas in post #11.

Pain builds, but if she is warmed up slowly she may be able to handle more... if you make sure she is aroused --peoples' pain tolerances tend to be higher...
If she feels afraid it will be more difficult..so tell her how proud you are of her when she expresses her feelings.

Work on the emotional aspects...let her know you treasure and cherish her.
Have a relationship in which she feels safe with you.

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 34

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 8:13:47 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Before you call her hypersensitive, do it to yourself. Seriously.

I'm a pro sub, and this kind of BS always rubs me the wrong way. I can take a decent amount of pain, and it annoys the shit out of me when guys who haven't the SLIGHTEST clue what pain feels like, start bitching about me. No SHIT I do not want to deal with your stupid ass hitting me right in the middle of the spine with a heavy paddle.

Make sure you aren't just shooting off your mouth, you'll annoy the shit out of her, and she'll leave your ass.

She doesn't want to take pain from you, either she is not a masochist, she isn't in the mood for it, or possibly, she might not trust you. C can beat me black and blue, and tie me to a noose from the ceiling, but I don't allow random jackasses to get anywhere near that point.

Step back, look at yourself, and go beat your own ass with the paddle.

What she said.

_____________________________

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 35

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 8:16:08 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Part of what I meant by better vs more is learning her... why kinds of pain are easier for her to handle...

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 36

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 9:32:17 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

This is just assuming you have the right to do this in your relationship...but why not just tie her up/restrain her? Or go at the pace you'd like until she safewords. You don't really give any info on the set up of your relationship.

I'm a total wimp and took lots of pain for my former owner. If I didn't want it...he restrained me. However, if he mandated that I like it and not cry/whimper...I would have been frustrated at the order to completely re-wire my brain at the drop of a pin.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 37

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/27/2009 9:33:58 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

One thing I noticed, OP, is that you're relatively young. I assume (and correct me if I'm wrong) that your submissive is as welll. If this is a rather new thing to her, receiving pain, it may take a lot of time for her to build up to where you want her to be. It's not only a physical connection, you swing, she says 'owie' ... mentally she's got to feel utterly at ease with you and being under your control because this is obviously an area where she's at her limit and you want to stretch it.

There are others out there better at explaining how to test limits, with the sub's consent of course, than I am. But I can tell you that this can either emotionally make or break the relationship. This is where your duties as Dominant (in my opinion) kick in. Where you have to rein in what you want in order to care for her needs and her limits. To make her trust you in such a way that the thought of her taking a flogging (or whatever scares her) doesn't seem as scary as it did in the past.

Sounds like you're also coming into an understanding of a possible sadistic turn in yourself which you will need to explore and understand, without harming the one who is in your care. Watch for the possible emotional sadism which is possible with your use of 'sissy' and denigrating words. Even if you don't 'mean' them, they're there, and yes, you do mean them to some extent.

Lots going on here! One final comment ... the hood and glasses freaked me out, and I much prefer the other profile pic.

Best of luck to you and your submissive in this journey together.

_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to bandofthehawk176)

Post #: 38

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/28/2009 12:45:12 AM

SlaveSimone

Posts: 95
Joined: 3/17/2008
From: Denver, Co
Status: offline

      I've dealt with this issue myself, only from the other side of the kneel. I really can't take much pain, a couple minutes of light paddling and I'm likely to safe word out. However, there are some things that have helped with my pain tolerance.

-My state of mind prior to and during play is a big factor. If I'm relaxed and open minded, I'm much more likely to be able to take a lot more then if I'm on edge and expecting negative results from the pain. You may want to do some research and try some meditation techniques before playing.
-As Mary Poppins says "A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way". The more pleasure I have with the pain, the more the sensations blend, and the more sensation I can handle.
-As others have have stated, pace is important. Go slow, its about the journey, not the destination.
-Consistency is also important. In the past I have been able to markedly increase my pain tolerance, however it took nightly spankings and frequent play sessions. Not long after those stopped, I was pretty much back at square one.

    A key factor on top of all of these things is that I had the desire to increase my tolerance. If you and your sub don't share the same goals in this area then I really doubt your endeavors will be successful. I personally think that a good starting place would be to sit down and chat about the whole idea and concept of increasing her tolerance, does she think its possible? If so, does she have any in site as to how?
    I think its just hard for some people to see pain as anything other then a negative sensation, but I know it's possible having been through the process myself.

Good luck,

Simone

(in reply to mc1234)

Post #: 39

RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 1/28/2009 1:04:56 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

~FR~

Pay attention to her cycle. Many woman are much more sensitive at certain times of the month than others.

Take baby steps, starting light and building her up slowly, so don't expect overnight success. Building tolerance takes time and effort on both your parts.

Watch your implements. A doe skin flogger is great for warm up, then slowly up the materials as well as the intensity. You'll get to the kangaroo or buffalo, just don't start with those.

Don't always be completely concerned only about the levels she can take. If you play with a safeword, use a leveling system, numbers are really good.. more so than colors to gauge where she's at.

Be observant, how is her body reacting to different forms of pain? Which ones make her body go yum.. and which ones make her body tense? When the body is tense, the pain hurts more. Have her breath, seriously. Increasing oxygen to the blood stream can help her increase her pain tolerance. Deep breathes in through the nose, slow exhales through the mouth can do wonders.

Watch the time. You may be surprised that what feels like 20 mins of play has actually been an hour.

Utilize atmosphere. Play soothing music, keep the lights dim or blindfold her. If you get her sexually excited, it's going to increase the chemical reactions and increase her tolerance to pain.

Be prepared for the end. In fact, this is something she can set up before play begins. Have her gather the blanket, the water and the chocolate or whatever you two use for the after scene. That way it's right at your finger tips and once the session is done, you can cuddle, hug, hold or whatever you do. Knowing that she's going to get that sort of attention afterward may help her in letting things go further .. a carrot at the end of the stick that you're actually going to let her grasp.

Take care of yourself, too. You're going to be doing a lot of physical exertion, so keep yourself hydrated during the scene, keep a towel handy and don't over do it. Think of it as exercise, you don't start off running marathons, you need to work up to those and you're both working, so be kind to each other, forgiving of each other and you'll get there.

Good luck!

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to SlaveSimone)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125