RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain?

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/6/2009 8:45:15 AM

nepenthesub48

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Have you incrementally introduced the pain with the contrast of softness/caressing/etc, so as to build up endorphins so she can actually handle more pain?

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/7/2009 2:54:36 AM

BondageBarbieX

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Not all subs are masochists,I for one am not..I am a pure pleasure/princess sub.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/7/2009 7:45:32 AM

monywildcat

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I'm amazed that the OP has checked in to peruse the various responses at all. Hood and weird face-thing and all. Many don't.

I will agree with those that state that the play starts in the mind. That, for me, is my biggest erogenous zone.

I don't identify as a "twue" anything, since I so enjoy exploring all aspects of my personality at this venture in my life. Whether my opinion counts, well the OP can shove it in his hood if it does not. Personally speaking, it is damn near impossible to change anyone into what you want, no matter if your dynamic is pure vanilla, or spiced up with kink and marshmallows. Oh, and don't forget the nuts.

Wheee, nuts and sprinkles!

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/7/2009 11:49:40 PM

Likes2Bite

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I don't suggest trying to make anyone something they are not.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/8/2009 9:55:46 AM

MissSepphora1

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I believe a little translation of what the OP is actually saying is in order.

I'm young and inexperienced in BDSM. I have a vanilla girlfriend whom I want to be more submissive, but I am unsure how to do this. Finding a real submissive might help me take out some of the "Dom" feelings I'm having, and I can continue to have sex with the vanilla girl friend. Until then, I need to know how to make my vanilla girl friend more open to pain, so that I can have my cake and eat it too.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/8/2009 10:03:37 AM

T1981

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSepphora1

I believe a little translation of what the OP is actually saying is in order.

I'm young and inexperienced in BDSM. I have a vanilla girlfriend whom I want to be more submissive, but I am unsure how to do this. Finding a real submissive might help me take out some of the "Dom" feelings I'm having, and I can continue to have sex with the vanilla girl friend. Until then, I need to know how to make my vanilla girl friend more open to pain, so that I can have my cake and eat it too.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/10/2009 4:24:53 PM

sensura

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Obviously you love giving pain to others which is alright if the other is good with it. Its hard to say as no one knows how much pain you are wanting her to take. We have to realize that we are all individuals with different pain tolerances. I have a high threshold and I can be somewhat sadistic but only if my sub is fine with it. Otherwise I take it down a notch or two. I do beleive that a person can learn to deal with different levels of pain but we all have our limits. Other than that I agree with most all the different comments.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/10/2009 6:00:52 PM

Tslaveboy

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I hate pain myself, but find it is more tolerable when I'm in restrictive bondage. Yes, I'm a wimp.

At the moment, my partner is trying to get me off of the bondage crutch and just take it. I find if I get in the right mind for it, I can take more and more.

Perhaps she just needs to want to tolerate it. If she doesn't want to, then she never will.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/16/2009 10:07:07 AM

rapist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: T1981
but he does test each and every pain toy on himself first, and tests is extensively.

I'd expect anybody concerned for their partner to do the same. Maybe not every single thing because when you've played with somebody a few times you kinda know what to expect and see the reactions.

But I'd never start playing with something new unless I knew it was going to hurt sufficiently, and in the right way.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/18/2009 2:30:34 AM

Poldark

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My advice to the op is this; Open mouth, remove both feet from same, shut mouth and let ears work instead, oh and firmly resist the urge to replace feet in mouth with next comment. Keep them on the floor instead.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/18/2009 4:05:45 AM

Leonidas

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Duct tape? Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side and it binds the universe together.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/18/2009 5:50:55 AM

Jmv0405

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You are so young, my friend, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But even at 22 I feel like I was too young to know what I was doing at 18 now.

And I assume when I am 30 I will feel like I was too young to know what I was doing at 22.

Now, there are many questions you need to ask yourself, each one more difficult than the last.

1. What are you willing to give up for this girl?
2. Do you love this girl?
3. Is this just about sex?
4. How important is the pain to you? To her?
5. Can you get some of the same responses from other things that you want to get from the pain?
6. How long do you have to expand her pain tolerance?
7. Finally, you need to ask your partner each of these questions in turn. And I've probably forgotten one or two.

Man, this stuff is tricky, and I'm hesitant to call you disrespectful because I think you've got that kind of charisma that will turn into a deep kind of charm with a little age and temperament and I don't want to turn you off to this kind of lifestyle. But there are serious risks involved. I went through a period when I was in very serious danger of losing my education because something happened that did not turn out well for me. And I was using both safewords and what I thought, at the time, was a constant vigilance. Not to scare you, but this shit can get real at any moment, so you better be prepared.

So, that being said nothing is more important than understanding your motivations and the motivations of your partner. If they are the same motivations move forward TOGETHER with very specific, and reasonable goals, in mind. If they are not the same motivations, there are two options. Compromise. Or find a new partner. But in the end, you will compromise. A lot. No matter what partner you have, so keep that in mind.

Hope that helps, mate.

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/18/2009 7:01:27 AM

funlover1987

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baby steps, practice makes perfect

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RE: How to make a Wimpy girl more open to pain? - 2/23/2009 2:48:12 AM

SirDarkside357

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Take it slow and build her up to it......I had the opposite problem, my girl was so use to extrem pain that for her on well being, I had to bring her level down.... not an easy thing to do.

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