RE: Do you have experiences with an abused sub?

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RE: Do you have experiences with an abused sub? - 2/23/2009 5:52:21 AM

soaware

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueRadar

GoddezzT

To your original question that started this thread, the answer is yes. And if I had to do anything over during the 10 year relationship with this beautiful woman whom I love to this day but can no longer reach, I would had put my efforts into getting her professional help. Going slowly, baby steps if you will, did not work.

Despite my efforts, I now know I simply aggravated her issues with herself. To say that it was and is the worst heartbreak on a scale I have never known before could easily be argued as self pity on my part. But it's not....it's simply my final view...I could not help her and she goes forward in life now into what I know are worse things.

I believe that in my personal experience, emotional abuse has been much more harmful than physical abuse. I had blind faith in someone for so many years, only to discover that he had been messing with my head with declarations of love and committment, while in actuality, it turns out that I had no real idea who he really was. Initially, he lied about his true name, marital status, location and although (surprisingly) I was able to forgive those lies and move across country to him, I was left high and dry after moving in with him while he left the country for 2 weeks, neglecting to inform me he was leaving...even though, at the time, we were "living together." I offered on many occasions to attend counseling with him.....yet it was not meant to be..and the final straw...discovering that mere hours after his declarations of love, finding he had yet another secret profile on here...and he was searching for other women...all the while denying he was searching.
Abusive? These are just a few of the high-lights. Why did I stay? Good question. Yet...one can hope that others can learn from the experiences stated here...and learn that when those red flags sear your insides, you will heed them and not blind yourself to your suspicions. I have heard the soft, yet firm "click" of the door of closure and I look forward to an honest, consistent Love in my future, now that I am free and have come to terms with myself and my past. Assumptions of heading into "worse" things are invalid. I am smiling again..and wish all of you the same peace.

~soaware~

< Message edited by soaware -- 2/23/2009 6:12:31 AM >

(in reply to BlueRadar)

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Post #: 101

RE: Do you have experiences with an abused sub? - 2/23/2009 6:20:48 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

Would never have a sub but on the same topic, I wouldn't want a previously abused Master either.

That's some statement,
do you care to xplane why?

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to came4U)

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Post #: 102

RE: Do you have experiences with an abused sub? - 2/23/2009 6:28:21 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: soaware
I believe that in my personal experience, emotional abuse has been much more harmful than physical abuse. I had blind faith in someone for so many years, only to discover that he had been messing with my head with declarations of love and committment, while in actuality, it turns out that I had no real idea who he really was.
~soaware~

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddezzT`
Well abuse is abuse, so one doesn't weigh more then the other in My opinion. It sux that you went through this ordeal, this is a different kind of abuse though, one where you we're scamed in, and I don't know if he lied that he was abused or anything.

But this is about when people we're abused in their lifes,
and how to handle that.

I hope you're doing well, and never meet such again.

B safe

GoddezzT`