AAkasha -> RE: Buy me gifts. Spoil me. You don't deserve me! (2/3/2009 8:31:38 AM)
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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I am about to put a shopping list on my profile. All those guys that email me, instead of me just telling them........."aaaahhhhhhh, read the profile dude. Lesbian!" I can direct them to my list![:D] (if I only knew how to get the items on the list to my house, via their credit card, without them knowing where it was going.........hmmmmm) Hey yeah, seriously ladies, how does that work? I am honestly curious. If Joe Smith in Texas want to buy Dominant Liz Taylor, a new diamond ring. How does Liz get Joe's ring onto her finger without divulging personal info? I am curious about the logistics. It's not just about asking for gifts, no. As an example, being in a cuckold relationship isn't as easy/fun as just having a sub and being able to have extra boyfriends on your own terms completely who you never even mention to your sub cuckold; there's a desire, expectation and NEED for the sub to be used/humiliated in a certain way as a function of that relationship. That's why I think to some women the "idea" that "subs send you gifts" sounds fine and grand and ladies think "oh, who wouldn't want that? it sounds so easy!" It's not - and it's one of a variety of reasons it holds no interest to me. I'd rather by my own gifts with my hard earned money, because it's less emotionally "expensive" and time consuming at the end of the day. I'm talking very specifically about addressing the specific fetish of "financial humiliation" - that is, when a man enjoys buying "gifts" for a woman who humiliates him for it - the Princess, bitch goddess, verbal humiliation style. As I mentioned in this thread, it's not just about having a wish list and guys will proactively use it and send a sweet gift. It's about a woman being very specific, commanding, humiliating about her demands for VERY specific gifts and then in a very "hands on" way, pushing the man through the process. Ladies, I put it to you this way. Is it worth 2 hours of your time to "encourage" a sub to buy you a $50 pair of shoes, knowing that there is a 75% chance he will flake? It kind of comes down to that. If you play the numbers game, you may have more luck. To me, the kind of mindset, the type of writing and/or phone calls, that level of intense humiliation is very emotionally taxing *on me*, I can do it, but I either have to be in a very specific mindframe OR have a really good connection with the guy in a way that pushes my buttons to treat him that way (in those cases, let's be honest, I'm way more into what it's doing to him than the pair of shoes - I am in it for MY femdom rush at that point). So if it's anonymous, I find myself totally emotionally taxed about 10 minutes into any kind of process to fulfill the needs of a "shopping whore". Also keep in mind, these guys like to buy TYPES of gifts that fit into their erotic fantasies. In other words, good luck finding a guy to go buy that "blender" I mentioned earlier in this thread. Blenders just aren't sexy; imagery of a frumpy housewife may come into his head. If you position it as a blender that you and your girlfriends will be sexin' it up at a bachelorette party, it may be more fun for him to buy. Try eroticizing a toaster oven or lamp. There are no shortage of "humiliation slaves" that may want to buy sexy shoes (if they find them sexy - there goes comfort!) or whatnot. Because the men that enjoy and pursue this kind of fetish don't have a desire to do it "no strings attached," remember there's always a power exchange in place. You can't motivate a man just by asking. You have to appeal to a very specific fetish and do it in a manner that satisfies his fantasy; when you compete with a fantasy, you almost always lose. I just never found it worth the energy to even pursue, and buying my own blender seemed much more efficient. Akasha
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