Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 10:34:31 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Individuals that enter into the our lifestyle communities here on line or in the Face to Face encounters are often given the ultimate reassurances that the people in this lifesytle are an accepting and open-minded mob of people. That your choices and thoughts will be accepted and appreciated as your right to choose. But, oh so often this line is quickly faded, many newbies and even some long-term members of this lifestyle are very disheartened to see such a lofty ideal being tarnished with such close-minded and opinionated interactions.

I suspose there is many reasons to why we come here and see a lack of acceptance for others and even feel it directed towards ourselves, I know I felt it. I would even be so bold to say that we have on occassion been unaccepting of others from time to time, I know I have.

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?

















_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 10:49:48 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Individuals that enter into the our lifestyle communities here on line or in the Face to Face encounters are often given the ultimate reassurances that the people in this lifesytle are an accepting and open-minded mob of people. That your choices and thoughts will be accepted and appreciated as your right to choose. But, oh so often this line is quickly faded, many newbies and even some long-term members of this lifestyle are very disheartened to see such a lofty ideal being tarnished with such close-minded and opinionated interactions.

I suspose there is many reasons to why we come here and see a lack of acceptance for others and even feel it directed towards ourselves, I know I felt it. I would even be so bold to say that we have on occassion been unaccepting of others from time to time, I know I have.

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?



Eveyones got their own reasons for the things they say or do KoM you know this. Are they justified? In their own minds, i'm sure it is. And yes, from time to time I think we all deserve to brought back down off our high horses sometimes. It may not be the right time to us when it happens. But then again we fall back to the same question..... why did you... feel the need to do that... or say that to me... about me.

But luckily, we're adults (ok so maybe not all of us act like it) but birth certificates state are... LOL... and we will continue on with our lives. No matter hat others may think about us, or say about us.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 10:59:42 AM   
miticantenslaved


Posts: 195
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?


the reasons some are accepted and some are not are as varied as the stars in the sky...can You count them all? no. the basic reason is....W/we are all human, with likes and dislikes. some of U/us are more vocal about expressing them...some prefer to express their distaste with humour *whistles innocently*....and some are simply rude.

it simply depends on the basic character of the poster...twatwaffles abound on every board to be found on the 'net. being Pagan as well as slave, miti sees the same level of acceptance/unacceptance within the Pagan communities as well. (oOoO and WE are supposed to accept all....)

tis just a matter of basic character, KoM....that is my opinion and Your mileage may vary with use/condition...

WITCHES ARE MATRILINEAL, said Death. THEY FIND IT MUCH EASIER TO CHANGE MEN THAN TO CHANGE NAMES. [Thief of Time]

~miti

_____________________________

~If that which you seek you do not find within, you will not find, without *D. Valiente*~


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 11:04:27 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know if it's so much an issue of "not" accepting others choices, but rather that we all don't have to agree with, or participate in their interest/choices.

I know that I work hard not to judge others, by their interests, but I clearly do not understand some things that others enjoy. Just because I'm an active participant in "the community," doesn't mean that I will become involved with someone's interest.

I'd much rather use "tolerance" as a description...as what someone enjoys is for them to enjoy. I don't have to partake of their interest, by default of being present at the same location/event (or on the same Message Board), and I work not to judge them by that either. Sometimes it works...sometimes, it doesn't.

As an example, I have a friend of the family, that when he found out my own interests in BDSM related activities, he just had to tell me ALL of his. He worked diligently to get me involved in his kinks, as it was the first time he encountered anyone that knew of it, outside of his spouse. He felt because "I" was "in the lifestyle" that I should accept/tolerate his fetish interest, and enjoy partaking of it...just "cause I was in the lifestyle." His interests (all of them) are my hard limits. He neglected to hear that when he was informed, and "he" then felt judged. That's not judging, when your stating preferences, or desires, or lack of desires for something.

I don't have to accept what he does, as much as help him to understand to enjoy it himself, and with someone that shares his enjoyment in it.

My issue with "accepting" sometimes, comes from having things shoved in my face. I just don't accept that!
K

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 12:32:23 PM   
IceyOne


Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?


I like the color black. I wear it daily. I also practice withcraft on a daily basis. Does this mean that I am a Devil worshipper? Of course not. My reasons for wearing that color, and for practicing my religion are justified in my own mind. But to a devout Catholic...I am nothing more than sin incarnate. Their reasons for believing that? Because the Bible says so. Is it justified? Sure, in their own mind it is. They are entitled to their beliefs, just as I am entitled to mine.
Do they accept me for who I am? No, because my own beliefs color their judgement, and the same goes for me. I can not find it within myself to accept them for what they are either. Is it justified? Absolutly, in our own minds.
Do I deserve their often harsh comments? I will say yes. Because I choose to live my religion in the open, and kind of shove it in their faces, then yes, I deserve the comments that they make. The same goes the other way. They deserve mine. Is this kind of behavior justified. In our own minds, yes it is, because it is who we are, and what we believe in.

It is impossible to control how others will react to you, or to something that you said, or to something that you do. All you can do is make sure that in YOUR own mind, your actions are justified and true to YOURSELF. Once you have reached that stage, the beliefs, opinions, and acceptance of others should not matter.

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 12:41:37 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		IceyOne,

Very well put.

(in reply to IceyOne)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 1:16:51 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?

=========

justified?

"I" can JUSTIFY anything i want to in my head...
its on principle..
deserve?

sometimes no.
i know "I" get MY back fur up a lot...when i feel threatened...

ahhhhhhhh

human nature...
worst critter walking the woods...


< Message edited by veronicaofML -- 1/14/2006 1:17:23 PM >

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 1:24:29 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I enjoyed the analogy of wearing black and practicing Witchcraft. I too have a penchant for wearing black and certainly practice Witchcraft along with other forms of Magick on a daily basis. In this I am open and very public. I am also relatively open and public about my Gorean lifestyle.

Has this affected me and my choices? Not really but it has limited me as far as being a Professional Counselor. However I have found that once people get used to me and even get to know me a little, many change their view of me even if we need to agree on matters of belief and dogma. Years ago when I first became a public figure as far as Wicca went in Western Australia, I lost count of the times that people who believed that I was the devil incarnate, saw how both dogs, cats and other friends of the feathered variety showed no fear and in fact demanded (in their own ways) that I pay them attention. This was and is the same with kids, especially the little ones. I guess you could say I’ve spent the best years of my life being a big brother to many folk, human and non human. I discovered that by being myself people with either like/love me or dislike/hate me and yet there are few who do not trust me.

The lack of acceptance in the lifestyle as in other lifestyles is often based on personal likes and dislikes and strangely enough fear. Sometimes people fear you because you are strong and have a strong code of honour/ethics. They fear you will oppose them in some imagined way, or take their place in the spotlight or even attract people away from them at the snap of your fingers. This sadly is one of the reasons that still many BDSMers have a distrust of Goreans. From a personal aspect, I know what the rejection is like first hand and still even with a growing number of people I am meeting, when some one tells me they know a sub/slave who may fill my requirements and ask if they can either bring that person along or set up a safe chaperoned first meeting at a coffee shop, I find that the potential person (if she has discussed this with others) is advised not to have anything to do with me. This I know is a personal vendetta and I know who is doing this…. I used to call them friends. So I don’t see this as a group rejection rather than a small number of people with well defined agendas. Mostly the people I associate with are reasonably accepting unless you have crapped in your nest locally, then you may need time and hard work to prove yourself as an honourable person.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to IceyOne)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 3:09:13 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Individuals that enter into the our lifestyle communities here on line or in the Face to Face encounters are often given the ultimate reassurances that the people in this lifesytle are an accepting and open-minded mob of people. That your choices and thoughts will be accepted and appreciated as your right to choose. But, oh so often this line is quickly faded, many newbies and even some long-term members of this lifestyle are very disheartened to see such a lofty ideal being tarnished with such close-minded and opinionated interactions.


As many years as I am into this I still find myself disheartened at times...but I also have to admit that there are times when I am just as guilty as the next. I'm not proud of that fact...but it is indeed a fact. Actually, sometimes I think the longer I go...the less tolerant I become.

Yes, there is more talk of those types of ideals within this community. I also must say that there are a great number of people who make a very concious effort to live up to those ideals. But our inescapable flaw is that we are merely just people, people with feelings, preferences, and opinions. We are no different than people in any other group in that respect.

One factor that I feel tends to make our community stand apart from other groups is that our group is primarily comprised of Dominant types and submissive types. So at any given event or function, what you have is half a room of people who march to their own drummer, are stand up individuals, rule their own world, and have huge egos(sorry but true). Sometimes it actually amazes me that with so many of this personality type in one room that the evening doesn't end up in an all out brawl. I have often commented that it should be against OSHA regulations to have that much testosterone in a confined space. What begins as light hearted bantering back and forth can quickly become a serious locking of horns.

The other half of the room is taking their cues from their own counterpart in the other half of the room.....all of who have a slightly different way they go about things. This sets it aside from many other groups because there is generally only one or two leader types that the rest are taking their cues from. We grow to believe in and adopt the ways of our Dominants....and those ways, although similar in some regards, also vary in many other ways. So then we get into how suzy thinks she is doing it the right way because her Dom said so....but annie thinks she is full of shit because she believes her Dom's way is the right way.

As I said....lofty ideals are a wonderful goal to try to live up to...but in the end we are still just fallible people.



_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 4:08:25 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		i think alot of what has been said in response as nailed it on the head in different perspectives. Which is the point, isnt it? We all have different perspectives.

When it comes to acceptance, i think we all need to realise we will never be 100% accpeted by 100% of the ppl. It just wont happen, ever. There is the whole trying to "conform" thing, even in an uncomformed society, but if we change our ways for one, we'll change our ways for a million and keep changing. Because no matter who or what you are, there will always be some one out there who is not going to like it, not going to accept you. There's always going to be ppl who will judge you, think bad of you and try and crap on you. Just like there will always be ppl out there who will like you, accept you and not judge you. You can not please the masses. When it comes down it, what matters is what we think of ourselves. Not what others think. So for acceptance i think we shouldnt worry so much about acceptance from a group of ppl, but from ourselves.

i have to add. To put it in abit more perspective. In 10 years, who are YOU going to be around? Most likely YOU, not those around you. The world and the ppl in the world are ever changing ever evolving and ever moving. the group of ppl that one might want acceptence so bad from, will probably not be there in 10 years. But you will. You'll be right there with yourself.

So again, whats important, what matters is what you think, how you accept yourself and judge yourself. Cos, lol, only you gots to live with you, not the rest of us



< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 1/14/2006 4:16:55 PM >

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 5:30:31 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?


/shrug

I am who I am...I don't try to justify it to anyone...people either take me as I am, faults and all...or they can go fuck themselves for all I care. I don't try to force my beliefs on anyone, but neither will I stand still and let them try to force theirs on me.

/shrug

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 5:40:23 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I used to care what people thought about me, but I stopped really giving a damn when I was in my teens. I am weird, I always have been, in almost all aspects of my life. I don't expect anybody to be like me, and would be shocked (and a little disappointed) to find somebody who was.
I offer acceptance to nearly everybody (and I suspect my grounds for refusing it are probably incomprehensible to most), but I don't demand it or expect it, or even particularly want it in return. I really don't care what anybody but my friends think about me.


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 5:44:02 PM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?



while we all have our perspectives, opinions, and beliefs, we do participate, in varying degrees, in an alternative lifestyle that, on the surface at least, touts acceptance and tolerance of others as it is what we want for ourselves. IF a person says that he/she agrees with the "community" espoused belief in acceptance and then proceeds to flame others of different likes/dislikes, kink, desires, wants, etc. then that person talks the talks and we all know what talk is and how much it costs.

i choose not to participate in organized religion because i find that, for the most part, adherents to "the faith" are distinctly unaccepting and intolerent of others who do not believe the same way AND because, in my observation and experience, they may sing praises on sunday and flip you off on monday. i call this hypocrisy; i choose not to participate. if someone chooses to live that way, that is their choice, but i can make the choice not to join them.

we all choose what we believe and how we act and react. though my opinion, beliefs, likes/dislikes, needs/desires, kink may be different than anothers, it does not lessen the value another places on thier own likes/ dislikes, etc. it is DIFFERENT - that does not make it WRONG. i may never be able to enter into a intimate relationship with that person, but there is no reason why we cannot have civilized discussion. we can disagree and sometimes, given the disparity of our opinions, we may have to agree to disagree, but that does not mean that we cannot each state our opinion.

i teach in the inner-city. there, most every student can name the fighters for freedom and civil rights of both black and latino ethnicities. it is also a place that has a tremendous anti-homosexual sentiment. while many - adults and children - can understand that bigotry and prejudice because of skin color or religion is wrong and immoral, they do not have a problem with anti-gay sentiment or outright hatred. largely this stems from a pervasive "christian" belief, but they do not see it is wrong; they do not see it is the same bigotry and prejudice. i am baffled by this.

sometimes, we do write responses designed to bring another off their high horse, and, sometimes, responses are written that show a distinct lack of acceptance of others. i do believe that there can be a difference between the two. however, when any of us convey intolerence or a lack of acceptance - the same tolerance and acceptance that we expect for ourselves, that we espouse as part of "the lifestyle" then we talk the talk but we do not walk the walk. it is hypocrisy. we can dress it up in pretty ribbons and "justify" it with any number of reasons, that does not change what it really is.

we all make choices on a daily basis. here, we choose what we read, what we responses we type; we can also choose to ignore something and not make a response. we CHOOSE our attitude and our responses. we can jusitify that which we know to be unaccepting and intolerence, but the justification does not change how we have reacted to another. the justification does not make it the right thing to do.

newflowers

< Message edited by newflowers -- 1/14/2006 5:49:36 PM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 5:47:48 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think of D/s as having any more "lofty ideals" than any other preferences...just because it happens to be more of an alternative choice, doesn't mean that the adherents are going to be any more noble in their opinions, comments, and feelings than any other groups. It would be nice to think they might, but to expect it, is not to understand human nature. No matter what the commonalities- golf, poker, swing dancing, dog show fans-whatever brings a group of people together, you will find diversity. Having a somewhat common interest doesn't even dictate acceptance of slight nuances in how that interest is pursued. Also, the very nature of the somewhat anonymous discourse on message boards and the like, makes otherwise mannerly folk hurl zingers they would never think to make in person. I'm sure that everyone has a tendancy to believe their way is best...and in fact it is..FOR THEM. Anything else is bound to seem less acceptable. I have to constantly remind myself when someone talks about something that makes me cringe, makes me feel pity for them, makes me mad, etc, that it is, after all, not about me. I also have to remember that others may have experienced something similar to me, and have some insight that I have never considered before. Part of my growth as a slave, was seeing that there is often another way of looking at something, and that I can see beyond the confines of my own experiences.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 6:53:19 PM   
Crazytwice


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/28/2005
From: North of Boston
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:


i teach in the inner-city. there, most every student can name the fighters for freedom and civil rights of both black and latino ethnicities. it is also a place that has a tremendous anti-homosexual sentiment. while many - adults and children - can understand that bigotry and prejudice because of skin color or religion is wrong and immoral, they do not have a problem with anti-gay sentiment or outright hatred. largely this stems from a pervasive "christian" belief, but they do not see it is wrong; they do not see it is the same bigotry and prejudice. i am baffled by this

newflowers


That's an interesting observation to share on this thread. I work in inner-city too but don't have the same type of involvement as a teacher-student, so I wasn't aware of this prejudice.

I think when a culture is the object of misunderstanding and/or ridicule, they know and learn those behaviors deep in their soul, and it can be immensely cathartic to express that behavior towards another. I bet boys who are bullies at school have some bullying going on at home; girls who grow their "claws" at age 7 have a female in their life with some pretty substantial claws.

But those examples are extremes. I think we are all guilty, I know i am. I have ghosts in my life that took my power away and I should be always checking myself to be sure I don't dump my powerlessness on another. It takes so much work and self-reflection to keep this in check, sometimes I forget, and it's threads like these that bring it to the forefront and make me remember again.

Thanks KoM.


_____________________________

"If you build it, he will come"
~Field of Dreams~

(in reply to newflowers)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 11:32:27 PM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It is impossible to control how others will react to you, or to something that you said, or to something that you do. All you can do is make sure that in YOUR own mind, your actions are justified and true to YOURSELF. Once you have reached that stage, the beliefs, opinions, and acceptance of others should not matter.


I think you can do more than that.

I am not a catholic or witchcraft practictioner (O no a heathen! ack.)

I am who I am (far from perfect sadly :-(. I do attempt to practice perfection (and fail miserably quite often) as I see it.

How do I see it.

Fine you are a catholic - be a catholic, I'm not here to impose my will upon you.

Fine you a witchcraft practictioner - be a witchcraft practictioner, I'm not here to impose my will upon you.

Fine you are a submissive (stealing from Ironbear here) - you are not _my_ submissive, I'm not here to impose my will upon you.

Fine you are dominant - be a dominant - I'm not here to impose my will upon you.

Fine you are a human being - be a human being _without imposing your will upon others_.

What I attempt to live by in life is this:

Never knowingly hurt someone else against their will.

There is lots of room for not necessarily acceptance but possibly the room to live and let live within that.

D (owner of j).

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to IceyOne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/14/2006 11:57:59 PM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

That's an interesting observation to share on this thread.


it is an antecdote told to make a point - there are those who expect acceptance and tolerance for themselves, but do not offer in kind that which they expect. oftentimes, we can see intolerance and a lack of acceptance when it is directed towards us, but we do not always see it when we direct the same towards others. we can have a thousands reasons, or what we think is one very good reason, to justify our actions; however, the justification is merely an excuse for bad choice.

you called it dumping your powerlessness on another.

newflower

(in reply to Crazytwice)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/15/2006 12:17:37 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

... But, oh so often this line is quickly faded, many newbies and even some long-term members of this lifestyle are very disheartened to see such a lofty ideal being tarnished with such close-minded and opinionated interactions.

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?



Sometimes, people absolutely deserve censure and rejection. Sometimes they go far beyond the acceptable. Child molesters for example, murderers, abusers... These we can usually agree on, and no one sees that "non-acceptance" as a problem.

The question arises when the behavior or words are not so nearly universally agreed on. Homosexuality, bestiality (NOTE: the stars are replacing the word that describes sexual activity with animals is called, silly auto-censor!), scat, Master/slave... these things may be acceptable to one person, and screamingly non-acceptable to another. We have different morals, values, tolerance for "that which is not the same as I feel/belief/think"

I try to find acceptance for most kinks and play styles. I try to find tolerance for the rest. But I have almost zero tolerance at all for bigotry, racism and deliberate rudeness. Surprisingly enough racism doesn't crop up on most of these boards, but rudeness? OMG you run into that everyday. I try to be patient, try to be reasonable, but some people... *shakes his head and grins wryly* I guess that's why God created an Ignore button...

I'll fight to the death so you can express your opinion... but you better be polite about it dammit or I'll be hollering for the mods to boot yer behind! *chuckles*

Yes, that's a personal quirk, it's me!

YIK,
- Geoff

< Message edited by EvilGeoff -- 1/15/2006 12:22:41 AM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/15/2006 6:22:36 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		I'll be the first one to admit, that I'm very surprised at the general tone on this board, as it pertains to some topics ... but the key seems to be "some topics."

I would imagine that if I were to say. "My new kink is to be beaten by a board with ten inch spikes!", that would seem to be acceptable to most, because it's a kink. LA would tell me to be careful, and John Warren would want to know if the dominant had experience with ten inch spikes, but other than that ...

Post something personal though ... something from inside that causes you pain or troubles you ... expect to get a bit more on this board. The justification you will here is, "Well you posted on a public board."

I must have missed the class that taught that the right to do something hurtful, forced someone to actually do it.

caitlyn

P.S. Something to judge ... I'm reading the BDSM board, before going to church.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? - 1/15/2006 7:16:20 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Individuals that enter into the our lifestyle communities here on line or in the Face to Face encounters are often given the ultimate reassurances that the people in this lifesytle are an accepting and open-minded mob of people. That your choices and thoughts will be accepted and appreciated as your right to choose. But, oh so often this line is quickly faded, many newbies and even some long-term members of this lifestyle are very disheartened to see such a lofty ideal being tarnished with such close-minded and opinionated interactions.

I suspose there is many reasons to why we come here and see a lack of acceptance for others and even feel it directed towards ourselves, I know I felt it. I would even be so bold to say that we have on occassion been unaccepting of others from time to time, I know I have.

So, what are the reasons? are they justified?... do we deserve it from time to time. do others deserved it?


Free speech always brings a certain amount of edge with it, and anonymity pushes up a person's "braverly" factor on a message board. So these are at odds with being touchy feely supportive. I like how this board is, which is a nice mix of conflict, common sense, and supportive exchange.

In my view, "the offended" on a message board have such feeling "on them." I'd rather have people deeply, deeply offended, shocked, and appalled then engage in any form of censorship. So, I'm in the camp who believes if you post here, you should be able to take it and defend yourself. If cannot, well, don't blame everyone else.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Acceptance to be US? and Accept for others to be Them? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.082