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RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 2:48:54 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		For me it is, Nikitaa...

But I define sexual gratification wildly (not by orgasm)

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 2:51:30 PM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you are compatible, then see them. If this doesn't float your boat, then don't.

As far as punishments, if they are merited and not contrived, then how about scrubbing the kitchen floor with a toothbrush?


We are not compatible. I am not seeking advice on if I should date this men. I am only curious about if is kink.

I like your punishment idea and is something I would enjoy. These men I refer would probably not do such things because this is not normal. They want normal but with woman dominance.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 2:51:53 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Nikita, in America, this type of relationship is called "vanilla marriage".

Is kink...but stink.


< Message edited by cjan -- 2/5/2009 2:52:31 PM >

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(in reply to aravain)
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RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 2:54:03 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa
I think you very pretty. I will send the handsome man by UPS.




Thanks!  I can't wait for that special delivery.

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"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Nikitaa)
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RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 2:56:44 PM   
Voodali


Posts: 255
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Sticking ice in a not kinky man's ass does not make for a good relationship.


I think I just developed a new kink.  But how to trick him into bending over....hmmmm

Yes.  It would be most gratifying if it came as a complete surprise to the not kinky man...
Images of football players and charging the field with an icicle come to mind.  Spandex is fairly flimsy...could work...


< Message edited by Voodali -- 2/5/2009 3:03:19 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 2:59:26 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm the type that is attracted to a dominant personality man, a man who is the head of the household, who leads, who is the authority, his word is law. I consider it a traditional relationship. It's how I grew up, it's what I like but I don't consider it kink or a fetish. I just consider it a style of relationship.

While there is kink and fetishes involved in my relationship, if they disappeared tomorrow then I would still be happy with Him because I enjoy HIM, not the kink/fetishes.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
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RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 3:06:56 PM   
Knite064


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

Some messages I have received have caused me to have question about domination.

If a man seeks a dominant lady for relationship but man has no kinky fetishes is this considered kink?

I have some messages from men who seek only a female controlled relationship and not more. They have no fetishes. They desire the woman to have all the power in the relationship and control the relationship. They want not control. The difference they have from other men is they do not have fetishes. They do not desire I walk on them, or use strap-on, or I dress them in my bra and panties, or I give them time-out. I do not know how I would punish someone without use of these kinks. The regular punishment of "no sex for you" does not appeal. I like sex too much.

If a man desires this only is this kink? If you say yes then if a woman desires only domination from a man is this kink or is this "normal" lifestyle.

edit.....more

If someone decides all decisions in a relationship are they considered dominant? I wonder if all men in the strict Arab countries are considered dominant. They want dominance but no kink.


Hello Nikitaa
I would say that each person that has written to you has different motivations for requesting this from you.

one could enjoy watching a girl for example eat an ice cream (perfectly normal daily occurence and nothing sexual involved)

Motivaion 1 could be.He enjoys in a completely innocent way watching his girl enjoy the ice cream(that would be non kink in my mind)

Motivation 2 could be , He is getting sexually excited watching his girl eat an ice cream (that i would define as kink)

Various possible motivations where your question is concerned ......
M1)He gets a feeling of security and you look motherly(  ) to him (fair to say non kink but issues in there somewhere)
M2)He gets off sexually in being told how to plan hs life and running around after you on a daily basis(Kink?id say so)
M3 He wants domination from you but wants to control the speed of things and what is practiced(topping you in other words)....so yes kink involved.

So in summary id say that its not the action or desire that defines kink but the motivation behind the action or desire that defines kink/non kink






(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 3:14:01 PM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm the type that is attracted to a dominant personality man, a man who is the head of the household, who leads, who is the authority, his word is law. I consider it a traditional relationship. It's how I grew up, it's what I like but I don't consider it kink or a fetish. I just consider it a style of relationship.

While there is kink and fetishes involved in my relationship, if they disappeared tomorrow then I would still be happy with Him because I enjoy HIM, not the kink/fetishes.



Thank you. The relationship you described (without the kink) is similar to traditional Polish marriage. Seems normal. I think many men consider this relationship normal unless woman is in command, then they think is kinky.

edit...
Knite064
quote:

So in summary id say that its not the action or desire that defines kink but the motivation behind the action or desire that defines kink/non kink


Good point I think. I not think about kink this way in past. Motivation maybe is what matters.


< Message edited by Nikitaa -- 2/5/2009 3:18:02 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 3:15:22 PM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Voodali

quote:

Sticking ice in a not kinky man's ass does not make for a good relationship.


I think I just developed a new kink.  But how to trick him into bending over....hmmmm

Yes.  It would be most gratifying if it came as a complete surprise to the not kinky man...
Images of football players and charging the field with an icicle come to mind.  Spandex is fairly flimsy...could work...



I do not trick him. I use handcuffs and he thinks kinky sex is in future. Then I pull him down by his hair and ........ ooooooooo just writing this makes me wet.

(in reply to Voodali)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 3:25:27 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Sticking ice in a not kinky man's ass does not make for a good relationship.



Whooohahaha that is too funny. Even there - I think I qualify as kinky, but not soliciting ice up my ass - you'd definitely come out kinked..

The number of answers you are getting along the lines of "what does it matter what it is called" are more important than you think. There are as many opinions as to what "kink" is as there are people, there really is not a rulebook. The example of men in the Arab world does not really apply, those are generally referred to as "traditional" as opposed to "conventional" or "conservative". Those are all shades of grey. One of my cousins is a househusband, and I would not describe his relationship as kinky. I think you could generally describe what we call "alternative lifestyles" as kinky, but as we discuss here so often, it really is all in a person's own perception. I mean, is a guy with a harem kinky?

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 3:26:40 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

But how to trick him into bending over....


Ah, low hanging fruit?

(in reply to Voodali)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 3:31:46 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		It is definitely kinky.  You are experience what I call "Pain Pride".

There are people that pride themselves on how much they can take.  They seem to think the more pain you take the more "kinky" you are.

Bull.  Someone that hates pain, but loves being tickled is still kinky.  Same with domination.  It is BDSM, not SM.   There is more to BDSM than just sadism and masochism.

I personally am a dominant man that does not like a lot of pain.  That does not mean I am weak.  Nor does it mean I am less kinky.   The sadists and masochists have nothing on me.


Similarly, a man that just wants to be dominated is still kinky.  He is a submissive but not a masochist.  Nothing wrong with that.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 5:52:11 PM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode
I mean, is a guy with a harem kinky?



(snipped)

I wish I could have sub harem. One sub for cleaning, one for errands, on for back rubs, One for sex, One for making ice, you get idea.
America should change laws of marriage. There is enough of Nikita for many men.

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 6:06:39 PM   
dreamysubmale


Posts: 204
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa


If someone decides all decisions in a relationship are they considered dominant? I wonder if all men in the strict Arab countries are considered dominant. They want dominance but no kink.



Contrary to popular belief, women in the Arab world (or in other countries that people have pre-conceived ideas about “women are considered second glass” such as Greece or Italy and in some Asian countries, women are the bosses of the household. They control (manage) the money and in many if not all instances, the husband hands the check over and gets a weekly allowance, the education of the children etc.

But as SylvereApLeanan mentioned, they serve out of feelings of love and devotion to their husbands/companions.


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Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses... Democritus

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 6:10:48 PM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		^ But is some countries they can not drive nor show skin. This is not control or power.

(is okay to start sentence with "but"?)


(in reply to dreamysubmale)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 6:17:25 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

^ But is some countries they can not drive nor show skin. This is not control or power.

(is okay to start sentence with "but"?)



In the Islamic faith, the full covering is done when a woman goes out in public or when there are male guests in the home.  It is done so that she will be respected instead of looked at as a sexual object.  However, when she is at home with only her family, she may dress as she sees fit.  Covering isn't intended to subjugate women.  However, any religion can be taken to extremes and exploited to fascist ends.
 
In any case, the motivation behind her actions is still the key factor.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 6:26:02 PM   
Nikitaa


Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

^ But is some countries they can not drive nor show skin. This is not control or power.

(is okay to start sentence with "but"?)



In the Islamic faith, the full covering is done when a woman goes out in public or when there are male guests in the home.  It is done so that she will be respected instead of looked at as a sexual object.  However, when she is at home with only her family, she may dress as she sees fit.  Covering isn't intended to subjugate women.  However, any religion can be taken to extremes and exploited to fascist ends.
 
In any case, the motivation behind her actions is still the key factor.

quote SApL
" It is done so that she will be respected instead of looked at as a sexual object."

The women do not make the decision to dress this way. Men make the laws. My belief is these men are afraid of the sexual power of the women. The men are weak and fear a woman's sexual power. Men make laws to cover women so the men can remove power from women.
I understand if women choose to dress as they do, and some women do, but most dress as they do because of laws.
Men do not respect women in those countries, they fear them. Is my belief.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 7:02:50 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

Men do not respect women in those countries, they fear them. Is my belief.


I think you need to widen your horizons and learn a little bit more about such cultures. I think you may be a little misinformed by stereotypes.



(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 7:43:51 PM   
dreamysubmale


Posts: 204
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

^ But is some countries they can not drive nor show skin. This is not control or power.

(is okay to start sentence with "but"?)



In the Islamic faith, the full covering is done when a woman goes out in public or when there are male guests in the home.  It is done so that she will be respected instead of looked at as a sexual object.  However, when she is at home with only her family, she may dress as she sees fit.  Covering isn't intended to subjugate women.  However, any religion can be taken to extremes and exploited to fascist ends.
 
In any case, the motivation behind her actions is still the key factor.

quote SApL
" It is done so that she will be respected instead of looked at as a sexual object."

The women do not make the decision to dress this way. Men make the laws. My belief is these men are afraid of the sexual power of the women. The men are weak and fear a woman's sexual power. Men make laws to cover women so the men can remove power from women.
I understand if women choose to dress as they do, and some women do, but most dress as they do because of laws.
Men do not respect women in those countries, they fear them. Is my belief.



Very well said SylvereApLeanan. I couldn’t have said it any better.

Nikita, it’s nothing to do with control or power. There are no struggles between the man and the woman on what to wear and not to. It’s the woman's choice. Of course there are men or states such as Iran or the Taliban who use the cultural/Islamic faith to extremes to subjugate the women.

In my travels and stays in many Islamic countries I saw nothing but utmost respect for women, young and old. A mother is revered in these countries, she is considered sacred (not in a religious way if you know what I mean).  

Men are weak and fear a woman's sexual and non sexual power right across the globe, in my opinion, not just in the Arab world. It’s just women haven’t woken up to that idea yet…haven’t learned how to use that power effectively.  


_____________________________

Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses... Democritus

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Is seeking dominantion and only domination a kink? - 2/5/2009 8:57:12 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

" It is done so that she will be respected instead of looked at as a sexual object."

The women do not make the decision to dress this way. Men make the laws. My belief is these men are afraid of the sexual power of the women. The men are weak and fear a woman's sexual power. Men make laws to cover women so the men can remove power from women.


In the Qur'an, both men and women are instructed to show modesty in the way they dress.  Neither men nor women may wear clothing that is form fitting, sheer, or revealing.  The clothing isn't based on fear of a woman's power.  It is an obligation given to Muslim women by God.  By dressing so that only their hands (and sometimes faces) show, Muslim women are obeying the will of God.  However, not all Muslim women choose to dress this way.
 
There are many web sites that provide English translations of the Qur'an (Koran).  I don't know of any that have it translated into Polish or Russian, but I'm sure you could find one or use Google to translate it for you.  The tradition about covering is stated in Chapter 24, verses 30-31 and Chapter 33, verse 59. 

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Nikitaa)
Profile   Post #: 40
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