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Is your submission priceless??? - 2/5/2009 11:10:05 PM   
Carmeldelight


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission. To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday. My submission will not be taken for granted, so the question is Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?  

< Message edited by Carmeldelight -- 2/5/2009 11:48:54 PM >
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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 12:19:16 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Er... there's no really ''working'' at our relationship. It's not something I dangle in front of his nose, and he wouldn't ever do it to me.

I was going to write more, then I realised you're the one that likes to browbeat your dominants until they cry, which kind of makes me raise my eyebrow at that whole relationship.


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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 12:27:17 AM   
LilacPromise


Posts: 33
Joined: 1/28/2009
Status: offline 		Hello Carmeldelight
 
quote:

  To me my submission is a gift, 
I do not see submission as a gift, but as a natural attribute some people have in their natural nature. A little like being happy go lucky, or grumpy, or someother character trait.
 
quote:

  which I make my dom earn everyday
To My way of thinking submission is either given or not given. The phrase you used appears to make submission something that is conditional. Do you see your Master/Dom/Mistresses/Domme's Dominance in the same way as a gift? if so do you do all you can to show you earn their Dominance everyday?
 
quote:

  so the question is Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?  

I really do not understand your thinking with this. It is rather like "You play ball, I'll play ball"  The qualities of submissiveness or Dominance are natural attritubutes to an individual. These attributes cannot be forced.
 
Yes, respect is not given automatically, it takes time to get to know someone, to build trust and a rapport. To ensure good communication is there to move forward in a safe relationship for both parties. Where respect or honesty is lost then it will not work. However, the whole idea of something being a "GIFT" that has to be "earned" or else is just something I do not understand or believe in.
 
Lilac
 
 

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 12:45:56 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Interesting word "earn"--didn't sit well with Me, however, when I started to respond, I unraveled it a bit--I have always said--"you have the right to choose to be with Me, once you choose, then you must obey My command--but you always have the right to choose"--in that context, I would hope that My actions reaffirm and reinforce the decision for the sub to stay by earning trust, respect, devotion, commitment--however it is a two way street and the sub  must be invested as well, but then that can be said of any committed relationship.
 
So we could probably spilt hairs about the word "earn"---but continue through actions to reassure, reaffirm and reinforce? Yes.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 1:01:09 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		No. I didn't MAKE him. He did it ALL by himself and I did too, in reverse.

agirl

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 1:04:28 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission. To me my submission is a gift, which I make my dom earn everyday. My submission will not be taken for granted, so the question is Do YOU MAKE your prospective meaning the dom or mistress you the subbie/slave is thinking about allowing the dom/mistress to own you work for your submission?  

Submission is to be inspired. Submission could actually somewhat be described as a seduction. So I too do not believe that submission is a gift anymore than my dominance is a gift.

Now the liberating agonies in the charity of my pain...that's a gift.

Most sub/slaves profile they find pleasure in pleasing. Can't the whole pleasure of pleasing become a real intense, physical and sexual pleasure, real kinky pleasure and then can't that pleasure...be earned ?

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 1:05:39 AM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I don’t ‘make’ them earn my submission, how does one go about doing that?  Give me prezzies and I’ll submit?   Whoo-hoo!  Where do I sign up?

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 3:08:45 AM   
HardToTame


Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline 		i make them earn it.  Im a bastard like that

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 3:26:23 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		Earn my respect? Yes! Earn my trust? YES! Earn my regard, my loyalty, and my approval? Yes! But earn my lust, my desire, my friendship, not so much. As far as I know there is no obstacle course or exam/test that will "earn" someone my friendship. Well ok, maybe the spelling and vocabulary sections of the S.A.T. JUST KIDDING!

Earn my disdain, mistrust, or my disapproval? yah people can do that too.


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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 3:31:43 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

Submission is to be inspired.


That certainly rings true with me. I am picky unfortunatly and the person has to make me 'shrink' well thats what I call it. When their words or actions make me feel suddenly smaller. Its a completely unconscious reaction.

My submission isnt a 'gift' I am not that alturistic I am submissive because its what makes me happy.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 3:49:23 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He earns my love and respect every day as I do his. We do this through the love and respect we give each other, through the attention we pay each other, the kindness we bear for each other.

With that said, there are times when it isn't equal. A month three years ago comes vividly to mind, first I had influenza for two weeks and followed that with two weeks of hell from a botched root canal. I didn't do much for him except thank him, and he did everything for me. Most of January was me doing everything for him, we had some cold running through the family that hit him a lot harder than me, with him unable to do anything except cough.

But in any good relationship you give every day in order to keep the relationship healthy, and your partner does the same.

This isn't what you're saying though. You're demanding to be paid ahead of time for anything you do, or you won't do it. If this payment includes you performing sexually, well then there's a word for people like you. And not a word that garners much respect either.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 4:22:33 AM   
sravaka


Posts: 314
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline 		I wonder what you do everyday to earn the gift of a dominant's attention.
What a miserable, counterproductive way to look at any kind of relationship.


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Miseries hold me fixed, and I would gladly cut these roots to become a floating plant. I would yield myself up utterly, if the inviting stream could be relied upon. --Ono no Komachi

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 4:27:37 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		He has to earn my submission???? I never knew that.
This could be fun....

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 4:40:01 AM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		next time i feel the need to get my ass beaten i will stand up and yell in my most whiniest voice to Master " You must earn my submission!!!! ". it will be the gift that keeps on giving.

< Message edited by favesclava -- 2/6/2009 4:41:16 AM >

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 4:40:23 AM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		  I don't make Ex earn my submission anymore than he has to earn my love everyday: both are something that I have inside of me that he gradually won. However, by this point, it's not really an active struggle any longer. No matter how upset I may be feeling, I still love him, and I'm still his submissive. Although there may be times when it doesn't show outwardly a whole hell of a lot because I'm sick or I'm upset with him, that doesn't mean that the feelings are any less there.

I think perhaps Carmel that you might be somewhere in the realm of switch (no offense intended, normal switches), since if your dominant doesn't "earn" your submission, you beat the crap out of him.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 5:01:04 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		fast reply

Daddy didn't have to "earn" my gift of submission ...it was given to Him freely

however He did have to earn my trust and respect.

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 5:07:03 AM   
nafakcha


Posts: 81
Joined: 12/28/2008
From: Melbourne, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I have read some posts here on collar me written by some subbies or slaves, where as it made me wonder, if this person made their dom or mistresses earn their submission.
 


I view submission as something that has to be give freely from oneself to another. Yes any prospective must earn my trust and respect but it is the combination of their personality, the way they handle situations, the trust and respect we share for each other that initially leads me down the road of submission to someone.

One can submit in the context of a play session fairly easily to someone they don't have the same level of knowledge about as a prospective. However, submitting to someone and being their submissive or slave during the day when you aren't playing takes another level of knowledge and trust. Sometimes intuition plays a big role in helping to weed through those that would be good prospectives and those that would not.

Keiko

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 5:12:32 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline 		Saying that He has to earn my submission sounds to me as though it would be me and not Him having control...  No, i don't 'make' Him earn it; instead i work on making sure that my submission is worth something valuable to Him and that it is something He wants, desires and needs.  If i didn't do that i would not be the right slave/partner for Him would i?

gabrielle x

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 5:17:19 AM   
bamagirl4u


Posts: 151
Joined: 12/25/2008
Status: offline 		I have never looked at my submission as a gift...it comes naturally and is a part of me.  I can't imagine being in a relationship and saying..."Well Sir...what will You do for me today to make me submit??"  Even written it looks as ridiculous as it did when I read it. 

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RE: Is your submission priceless??? - 2/6/2009 5:23:04 AM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		The trust and respect were earned.  The submission, was just another part of me that was like a bonus.  lol

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The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

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