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Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/10/2009 6:07:35 PM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		I was at a BDSM function with some friends (of varied ethnic/racial backgrounds) and a caucasian Master walked by with his black female slave. Some of my black friends told me that seeing a white master and black slave disturbed them.

I've recently met a black woman who wants to be my slave and I was wondering how this would be handled in public situations. Are there different rules in black/white D/s situations that are different from D/s relations where both partners are of the same ethnic/racial background?
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/10/2009 7:09:55 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		It's not my cup of tea but who cares what anyone other than the people in the relationship think of the relationship?
  Davan

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(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/10/2009 7:20:24 PM   
brownbutterfli


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/4/2009
Status: offline 		I was in interracial d/s relationship. The rules are the same as for any other enthincity. No one gave us second look. You might want to talk to sub who wants to your slave and she how she feels about being out in public with you.

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/10/2009 7:32:19 PM   
SwimGoldfishSwim


Posts: 34
Joined: 1/11/2009
Status: offline 		i was in an interracial dom/sub relationship with a black dom, the rules weren't any different from any other race or ethnicity. We got some looks from vanillas in general but in the end all that mattered was that we were happy together and that's what is important. If you have a connection with someone it shouldn't matter about their skin, just as long as you two are comfortable with what is going on and unless you plan on bringing someone else in, other peoples opinions shouldn't affect what you have.


Besides everyone has a comment about someone's relationship regardless of race, sexual orientation, religious differences, etc., might as well make yourself happy.

(in reply to brownbutterfli)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/10/2009 8:02:25 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		what floats your boat..and hers...anything else is just BS

(in reply to SwimGoldfishSwim)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/10/2009 8:08:37 PM   
blushingflower


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		It's really a personal issue.  I can understand why people have a problem with it, the idea of a white man owning a black woman brings up lots of race/gender issues.
I have a problem with the fetishization of race in general, it's one of the things that really squicked me when I worked phone sex.
So, I have a problem with people playing out racial issues in D/s or sexually though I can see how it could be therapeutic for people.
But if you're just in a relationship that happens to be interracial, whatever. 
It's something you need to talk to her about, and the haters can just deal.

(in reply to SwimGoldfishSwim)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/10/2009 8:38:44 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		There are black women who desire to be owned by a white Master, and enjoy an antebellum relationship, with all (or at least some) of that that applies.  Personally, I think playing with the whole Master/slave thing with a black sub/slave would be very intense and might very well end very badly.  I have heard of at least one black female slave who enjoyed being degraded and insulted with racial slurs etc.  I will be honest and say that I could not do that, no matter what she wanted.  Just too much of a minefield and not how I feel anyway.

(in reply to blushingflower)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/10/2009 9:03:03 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		I think some of you have missed the origin of the discomfort. The issue is not interracial D/s couples. The issue is specifically whites owning blacks.. again.

The truth is, any slave/master situation is a deep taboo in "civilized" society, so the racial aspect doesn't change much. The fact that a "slave" volunteers for the role is what makes the relationship decent enough to be tolerated.

While I'd have no problem owning a black slave to compliment my white one, (or a whole Poly household for KY Wrestling Live Battle Chess night) I wouldn't personally feel comfortable with race-play. Thats a matter of taste - some dig it... It's certainly steeped in socioeconomic, historical, and contemporary origins. The forces surrounding such activities are more intimate than blood play, if you ask me.



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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/11/2009 12:00:50 AM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Replace "owner a black woman" with "dating a black woman" and you'll have your answer. There aren't any different rules. Of course some people will frown on it but that's their problem. Of course it might also depend on where you live how many people will turn a nose up, but in the end who cares. I would assume the only time they're be "different rules" would be if you're into that whole race play thing. I am not, don't know anything about it so can't advise on it.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/11/2009 3:59:04 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		being an interracial BDSM couple is no different than being one on the vanilla side.  you're always going to get snide and stereotypical remarks from either side of the racial fence. 

in my experience, i've been told that having a white Daddy is "brining my race down" to "why are you reverting back to slave days of our ancestors" and the ever popular "you're simply not black enough to be black".  "you got jungle fever" - is also my favorite.

on the flipside, sometimes i get (from white males) "is it true that black women are highly sexual in bed than white women?" or "do all black men have huge monster cocks (as if i should know ...never dated within my own race before)" and "do you have a problem being seen with a white man"?

i have no problems dating outside my race ...in fact my first marriage was interracial and my upcoming one in 2010 will be interracial too. yes, it's disheartening to see that most black folks haven't overcome that "they owe us for over 300yrs of slavery" crap. no one owes us anything. i don't see Daddy (or my pet) as a white man ...i see Him as a man who's compatible to my personality, interests and etc. He could have purple with pink and green poka dots for all i care but it still make Him compatible to me.

until we start breaking these racial barriers and walls, nothing's ever going to change how we view each other as human beings.

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(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/11/2009 5:05:09 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		If the fact that you will probably get double takes from people sometimes doesn't bother you, it's no diffferent otherwise, so do as you please.  
Read your profile, says you're an exhibitionist, so this should work perfectly.   M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 2/11/2009 5:07:59 AM >

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(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/11/2009 8:09:49 AM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		The woman I'm interested in is someone I would be willing to give up the BDSM lifestyle for and would be happy with her in a strictly monogamous vanilla relationship. That expresses my feelings for her right there. But she is a submissive and if that gives her joy and I can give it to her through domination, that is what I will do.

The reason I bring this up is that I do have Black Dominatrix friends. At the last DomCon, we saw a white Master and his black submissive and she went on and on about how much that irritated her. I just wanted some other feedback on this.

As for the 300 years of slavery, I guess the wounds are still very fresh. Being of Slavic descent, I've had an awareness of my heritage and the fact that the word "slave" comes from the greek word for "slav", I don't harbor any guilt over it. I know it's been over 1,000 years since any of my ancestors were enslaved, but I understand in a sense.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/11/2009 6:35:52 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I think your friend has the right to her opinion - and that doesn't make it right for everyone.   Like you.  If you want a relationship with someone who happens to be black, and you have a real connection with her - go for it.   If your friend is really your friend, then she will get over it.

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/11/2009 7:31:36 PM   
honeygirl


Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline 		I never experienced anything different -- not that I recall or noted, anyhow. I would have been unwilling to go/stay somewhere where I had to be treated differently because of my ethnicity.

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/11/2009 11:35:34 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy
The reason I bring this up is that I do have Black Dominatrix friends. At the last DomCon, we saw a white Master and his black submissive and she went on and on about how much that irritated her. I just wanted some other feedback on this.
I hope our feedback has been helpful.   It's nice to hear you care for her that much, and as such, I hope you have the maturity to have the relationship you want, and ignore ignorant comments trying to undermine your happiness.    M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/11/2009 11:49:14 PM   
Racquelle


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline 		I have to say, from the outside, seeing a white master with a black slave is disturbing.  We have so many cultural and historical reasons to be disturbed by it.  But what disturbs also makes for some of the most wonderful chemistry, and taboo-bucking fun.  From the inside, I have enjoyed subs of several ethnicities, and feel myself enriched by having them in my life.  Not sure there are special rules more than special sensitivity, and a willingness to be opened to a new perspective.  I myself don't like to play heavily on ethnic differences - especially when something is just starting out.  It can hurt a lot more than intended.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/12/2009 1:30:48 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Agreed.   
quote:

Not sure there are special rules more than special sensitivity, and a willingness to be opened to a new perspective.  I myself don't like to play heavily on ethnic differences - especially when something is just starting out.  It can hurt a lot more than intended.
I myself have had similar experience, and find that indeed special sensitivity is required when starting out with someone who appears different, as a matter of human nature I guess.   
Over time, I do find that when people trust one another on an intuitive level, the flow is easy, and most things superficial differences lose the taboo factor.    Like you, I don't enjoy a heavy reliance on ethnic differences initially...    Mostly, because I don't enjoy the pressure of trying to fit the projection of anyone's idea about who I am, and how I ought to behave, beyond being a woman.   

As for the initial disturbing feeling, I suppose anyone who knows history would feel a little of it, but as we are here in the consensual world, it's just cute, I think.    I had to grapple with the idea of playing with/having a D/s or M/s relationship with men of my own ethnicity (black), when I started this journey precisely for this reason...   Than, I searched my soul, and my motives, and got over myself.   M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 2/12/2009 1:34:54 AM >

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Racquelle)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/12/2009 2:33:41 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy

As for the 300 years of slavery, I guess the wounds are still very fresh.

personally i do see how but i harbor no such feelings since my ancestors (on both sides) were free-born across the pond.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/12/2009 3:07:41 AM   
SpareBoyfriend


Posts: 20
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tslaveboy
... a caucasian Master walked by with his black female slave. Some of my black friends told me that seeing a white master and black slave disturbed them. ... Are there different rules in black/white D/s situations that are different from D/s relations where both partners are of the same ethnic/racial background?


No.  If people have a problem with it, then it's their problem.

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
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RE: Interracial Master/sub relationships - 2/12/2009 8:16:06 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1
I hope you have the maturity to have the relationship you want, and ignore ignorant comments trying to undermine your happiness.    M


Great advice.

I'm in a bit of a reverse situation as I've been going out with a black man recently.  We had a conversation just last night about how this is perceived by friends and family.  He's getting the comments, not me, and they mostly have to do with concern of what will happen if a white woman decides to press charges against a black man for some of the BDSM activities.  Apparently this happened to him before, and it was not pretty.  So, I'm being looked at skeptically from the folks in his camp.  All I can do is keep on being me, and the concern will either subside or it won't.

The comment I mostly get (surprisingly by a lot of people) which I find a bit offensive:  "Does he have a big dick??"  I don't even bother with a reply, other than an annoyed laugh and shake of my head.

Mostly I find it quite sad that in this day & age, race is still an issue.  But that's the reality, so you, as Fullfig said, you find the maturity enough to not allow such comments to penetrate.  Relationships can be hard enough work without allowing outsiders to add to the complexity.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
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