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RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 8:25:49 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I'm a man.  And, chainedgirl, you are wrong.  But don't worry your pretty head about it.  Just come over here.  I'll fill your mouth with something so you stop talking, and I'll spank you until you can't think about anything but the heat and the pain.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 2/18/2009 8:26:03 PM >

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 8:28:43 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Besides some Mistresses do use the title "Master"

Damned after effects of feminism!

RM- you are SUCH a sweet talker!


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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 8:32:21 PM   
celess


Posts: 11
Joined: 2/12/2009
Status: offline 		Submissives who call the shots? Do you not realize prior to being submissive they are human whether male or female. Human beings have certain needs and therefore should make those needs avaliable to whomever is considering them. To tell someone that they should not be seen or heard- is childish and quite matter of factly immature. I care about myself and want someone to who is going to care about themselves too. There are too many dominants who are insecure, unstable, insane, and completely oblivious to what D/s is really about.


(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 8:32:48 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Greedy, if I strap a pink dangly bit on, do I count? ... or do I still have to sit in the corner? :(


it works for me, Lynn!  C'mere to the (nice, dark) corner!!  heheheheheh!!!

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RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 8:50:32 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedgirl

Since this is in the Ask a Master section and i see no Master has (been able to?) reply, i am more than happy to have private replies from MASTERS.


As others have no doubt told you and the mods have posted more than once (along with your cherished masters who appreciate our opinions and have stated so in numerous threads): On CM anyone can post anywhere.

Now, if you want a male dom's opinion you'll have to listen to me because Val doesn't bother getting on here much. And his opinion is that anyone who doesn't have standards isn't worth owning.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to chainedgirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 8:52:19 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Well, I'm a man.  And, chainedgirl, you are wrong.  But don't worry your pretty head about it.  Just come over here.  I'll fill your mouth with something so you stop talking, and I'll spank you until you can't think about anything but the heat and the pain.


Ooo... do me next! *purrs*

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 9:08:35 PM   
chainedgirl


Posts: 142
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Well, I'm a man.  And, chainedgirl, you are wrong.  But don't worry your pretty head about it.  Just come over here.  I'll fill your mouth with something so you stop talking, and I'll spank you until you can't think about anything but the heat and the pain.


Please take that up with my Master.


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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 9:08:36 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		i believe submissives come in many shapes, color, heritage as well as other qualites. Though monetary abundance is not a must here for me, they be confident. Money doesnt buy confidence.

As far a a femiist, a feminist has the right to make choices that fits their personality. I am for women having rights to be what they wish, be it a slave, submissive, executive and list can go on.  Feminism does not need to lessen the submissive aspect. It does not mean all women show be Mistress. Though I always been fascinated with being an amazon woman

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 9:11:51 PM   
chainedgirl


Posts: 142
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		As for having standards, i have those.  i require intelligence, respect, consideration, being human.  You can have those no matter where you live or how much you earn.

Saying money is a standard above basic human qualities says a lot about the submissive i think. 

Now, what do these 'standards' of wealth and where someone lives have to do with just having a casual play with someone and not wanting to get into a relationship with them?


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 9:18:45 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedgirl

As for having standards, i have those.  i require intelligence, respect, consideration, being human.  You can have those no matter where you live or how much you earn.

Saying money is a standard above basic human qualities says a lot about the submissive i think. 

Now, what do these 'standards' of wealth and where someone lives have to do with just having a casual play with someone and not wanting to get into a relationship with them?



Casual play is not a relationship and if there is no relationship, then no, I don't understand what money has to do with anything. Location, however, I do understand. Casual play is not about submitting, it's about getting my need to be beaten met while their need to beat is met at the same time. If their location is further away than my desire to beaten is strong... I'm not meeting up with them unless they come to me.

That simple.

However, in a relationship money is a factor. I don't agree that it should be the most important factor - it's been stated over and over on this forum that when Val and I got together I pretty much did all the paying for everything and now things have changed. But it is a factor. If a dominant expects his sub/slave to not work and stay at the house all day, he needs to earn whatever amount of money that will keep both them plus any dependents there may be in the style that will leave everyone happy and content - otherwise the relationship is simply doomed.

For some people, that is a lot of money for others it isn't. However, I tend to feel it says a great deal about a submissive when they are saying about how "unsubbly" other people are and what it says isn't very nice. Now, for the record, it says nothing about their personal submission to their owner. Only their character.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 2/18/2009 9:40:17 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to chainedgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 9:19:55 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedgirl

i have been doing a lot of reading lately about the after affects of feminism.  That essentially, what it has done is created women who expect everything to be given to them and done their way and men who cannot stand up to them and often cower.

i have also been reading posts by Doms and Masters saying that many female submissives expect Doms/Masters to be living a certain way, earning a certain level of income and look a certain way.  my understanding is, this is not the submissive's business.  What should matter is how the two get along as a D/s couple or duing play times.  i'm specifically interested to hear how Master's/Doms feel about this issue.



My two cents worth.
I am less sure about the effects of feminism on women, but I do think it has had an affect on men.
As Pahalahniuk said better than I ever will, "We are a generation of men raised by women."

As for money and income
heck, I have standards
I hope she does
I would never want a woman who didn't.

But that's not got anything to do with submission
She submits to me because of who I am
As a man
As a person
As a dominant

That has zip to do with my income or where I live.

Last but not least, I don't want a woman that cowers
(Not that I don't think its healthy for a slave to have a bit o' fear for the ol' dom.)
But what fun is a sycophant?
Sorry, I like my women with brains
And its just my experience
But most of the time
The very best slaves/subs
are very strong willed
It takes a strong person to surrender to the depths that I like


(in reply to chainedgirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 9:20:10 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		You bet I call the shots when it comes to whom I submit myself to, otherwise I'm not a submissive but instead an easy fuck.

I also expect certain things from him, like the ability to hold a long term job and a basic level of education.

It is because the way has been paved for me, by generations of strong women (and men) who fought for the right for me to choose and not be chosen for.

As to your attempting to dictate who responds to you, well it is an open forum here at CollarMe which gives me the choice of responding to you if I want to. It is both bad and good that posts get all sorts of replies, bad if you only want a particular sort of view and good if you want to think about things from views you'd otherwise not have come across. I happen to think it is a good thing that it is an open forum.

Looking at your sign up date I'm surprised that you expect only a part of our population to respond to you...surely by now you know that most posters hop around all the forums?

It isn't about topping from the bottom, or men having been somehow weakened by the feminist achievements. It is about being an adult and making adult choices, making the choices that are right for me as a person. My owner is by no means a weak man, I would never have been attracted to him otherwise. Milquetoasts turn me off in the context of sexual and D/s relationships.

Kinda neat how many times the word 'choice' has been used in my post to you.


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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 9:24:05 PM   
MoGa


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Well, I'm a man.  And, chainedgirl, you are wrong.  But don't worry your pretty head about it.  Just come over here.  I'll fill your mouth with something so you stop talking, and I'll spank you until you can't think about anything but the heat and the pain.

I adore you! Spoken like a twue man <hugs>

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 9:33:22 PM   
celess


Posts: 11
Joined: 2/12/2009
Status: offline 		Now chainedgirl u have come to ur true question. A casual relationship is just that casual. It is about the play but even in play a submissive should have some standards on what kind of casual play they wish to have  in that casual relationship. you may want a light spanking thus it makes no sense to play with someone who wants to string u up and beat you senseless. however, once more casual relationships are not relationships it is two people agreeing to do something for a period of time and then eventually moving on. the problem with causal relationship in some submissives is that they become pink (emotional) and suddenly want more than the trial period- thus changing the dynamics of the the "relationship." Once that happens u end up with problems. So it is best to keep ur wits about you and go in with ur eyes open. however if you want to have a casual relationship without some form of guidelines- you put urself at risk for harm.

< Message edited by celess -- 2/18/2009 9:34:45 PM >

(in reply to MoGa)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 10:08:01 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		Your profile contains the following statement:  "If you are just starting out and have any questions about appropriate etiquette, or are not sure about the behaviour of a particular Dominant, then feel free to contact me regarding this, i am happy to help."

I must say that, reading your posts here, I would hesitate to have you as my mentor in the area of "etiquette."  Furthermore, I'm not sure you would have much to advise me on "about the behavior of a particular dominant."  Seeing as how you don't know my "particular dominant," I'm most sure you don't know a thing about His (or my) motivations.  Why worry about WHY others choose the partners they do?  If you're as happy as you say, dig on that and don't worry about what others want.  And wanting answers only from men/dominant partners?  Geesh, get a grip............luci 

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 10:12:34 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Well, I'm a man.  And, chainedgirl, you are wrong.  But don't worry your pretty head about it.  Just come over here.  I'll fill your mouth with something so you stop talking, and I'll spank you until you can't think about anything but the heat and the pain.


Please take that up with my Master.


Why?  It's just casual play.  Why should you have any standards?


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to chainedgirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 10:25:57 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Some people have a longer list than others about what does and doesn't need to be in place or happen in order to fulfill them. If your list is short, that's great, but know that there are other's will think you're a loon for NOT having expectations. What would be nice is if each sides understood that other people do it differently.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to chainedgirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 10:28:27 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I must be doing it wrong.... I had way higher 'shallow' standards when I was playing casually. Look pretty, do what I say, go out ot dinner afterwards, and then go away until I want to play again. 

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HBIC



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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 10:38:08 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Why?  It's just casual play.  Why should you have any standards?

*smooch* I lubs you, RM.
Since the OP prolly won't take you up on your offer, does that mean you have a spanking looking for a home?


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Submissives who call the shots - 2/18/2009 11:04:26 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		2005 till 2009... and this question just popped up?  why do you care, OP, what these submissives or slaves look for in a dominant?  you have one.  as long as they arent looking at yours, its truly none of your business what they look for or how they go about finding it.  along with the rest, i have high standards when looking for a Master.. very high.  i hardly think a man who cant hold a job, or support himself is someone who has mastered himself or someone who could hope to master me.  i dont need a 6 figure income, would be nice, but its not necessary.  however, im not about to support a man who cant support himself due to laziness.

oh, by the way, at least two Men have answered you and all you could do was hide behind the old, boring... ask my Master.. routine.  you were brave enough to post here, be brave enough to take whatever you get.  am i the only one who is tired of girls hiding behind their owners pants?

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 2/18/2009 11:06:23 PM >

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RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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