Tavane -> RE: Men in Panties (2/21/2009 6:31:16 PM)
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I did encounter some lesbians when I went to bars which catered to TGs who were attracted to me, even hough I told them I was a man, since I looked nothing like a man, but rather like a slender, pretty woman. I've frankly never heard of another guy like me. I did have a sex change, but it was social, rather than surgical. I have a photo of myself at a 1974 Halloween party, dressed as a prostitute. That photo represent me at my most masculine, just two years out of Vietnam. I have longer hair, though it's styled in the photo so doesn't look too long, but my arms, legs, and face were at their hairiest, and I was simply a guy in a dress, with makeup on and jewelry, and his own hair styled in a feminine way. However, people at the party didn't see it that way. They thought I was a very pretty woman, and were absolutely astonished when I said I was a man. The women would gather around me, and they couldn't get over it. Everyone stared at me, and I was embarrassed and didn't do that again for 20 years. I'm on a couple of lists which discuss stuff, and that topic came up, and I mentioned it, and they wanted to see the photo, so I attached it, and they were similarly astonished. I was so masculine in my voice, mannerisms, aggression, attitude, etc that none of my friends, nor strangers I encountered, ever thought for a second about characterizing me as some kind of sissy, or would ever have thought I was a TG person, and of course being a Vietnam veteran puts you in the class of the most masculine man possible, in terms of perception and peer group admiration. However, I always looked like a girl. Only that I was a terrific athlete and so masculine in my behaviors kept me from being teased, and occasionally I'd hear a comment. We liked to have derogatory names for each other among my close friends. I called one of my two best friends "Beak" sometimes, for his nose, and he'd respond by calling me "Pixie.", and one time we were coming back from a quarry swim and the slender girl next to me noted that she had bigger shoulders that I did. It surprised me. I never realized that I had the skeletal frame of a very slender female, though I knew I was slender. She obviously found it unusual enough to comment on it. When you see TG males, they are as masculine as other males, as to face, height, shoulders, and masculine arms, hands, legs and feet. I'm totally different. I'm 5'8", so not as short as an average female, (though not unusually tall for a female), but have a face, shoulders, arms, hands, legs and feet like a slender female. That's undoubtedly the main reason that when I went to a gender clinic to consider becoming a female, they almost pushed me into the program, instead of spending any time at all trying to discourage me. I was surprised at that, at the time. Although I stopped taking hormones after not that many months, they did put some fat on my hips, and a bit on my breasts, and I had pretty much had all my facial hair removed by electrolysis, and by this time I was mistaken for a female almost constantly, and had my ears pierced once when I was looking at earrings, and the girl thought I was a woman, even though I was totally dressed as a man. I thought it would be exciting, and I'd keep them in for the weekend, but when I came home from work on Monday, I had the crazy idea that if I put them back in, and wore them all the time at home, putting them back in each day when I got home from the office, I might be able to get them to heal, even though you are supposed to leave them in for several weeks to accomplish that. It worked, and I've had pierced ears since about 1986, back when no guys ever had pierced ears. Once the electrolysis was about over, I had pretty much become a female, in the eyes of strangers. I wasn't finished though. In 1992 I decided to have cosmetic surgery, to give me a feminine nose and chin. That was it. After that, I had created a monster. Although I could work as a man by parting my hair on the side, since it's a bit thin, and acting very masculine and wearing coats and ties, otherwise I was always a female to strangers, despite that I quit wearing any feminine clothes outside the house, ever. My world had turned upside down. Now I was embarrassed to go in a men's dress shoe store, and if I did, I'd be ignored, ot told that this was the men's department, but could go in and try on women's shoes anytime, even though I was dressed as a man, didnt' have long hair (not more than half-way down my ears), didn't wear earrings or makeup or jewelry, didn't carry a purse, or otherwise try to present myself as a female. I did start shaving my legs in the summer, but not really to be feminine. I found people would stare at them if they weren't shaved. I went on a golf trip to Florida in the winter, and at the airport, I was called ma'am, and they decided to pat me down, so that was done by a female, and my friends thought that was lucky for me, when I knew it was because the security people thought I was a woman. I went to lunch down there, and a waitress kept staring at my legs, since I had not shaved them. It has reached absurd proportions, and I had so many embarrassing instances when I was out with friends, some of which were unreal, and some other ones which shocked me when I was not with friends. I knew restaurants and stores would always regard me as a female, so always wore unisex stuff, like t shirts shorts/jeans, and tennis shoes, or unisex flip-flops, rather than a man's shirt with a collar or masculine shoes, since I knew I'd get stared at. It didn't seem to bother people that I didn't wear makeup, jewelry, or carry a purse, but they'd stare if I tried to wear something clearly masculine. I expected to be addressed as "ma'am", because that's always what happened. If I bought a man's shirt, I'd sometimes be asked if "he" needed any socks or anything, and had one salesgirl confess that "I bought one of these for myself, too." Salesgirls and women would sometimes start up girl talk conversations with me.I actually learned what it was like to be treated as a female by other females (and males), and how it differs from being treated as a man. It was fascinating and extremely pleasurable, but very odd, to find that I was now the other gender, and expected to talk and act and relate like a female, which is what I naturally started doing in public. It's not much different from being a male, but it is different. I didn't become a female in large part because I thought it would really hurt my profession, but ironically hurt it more by becoming so feminine looking that I'm sure many people didn't hire me because I looked exactly like a pretty woman with short hair who had a fairly masculine voice and wore men's clothes. I went to the hospital ER for a kidney stone once, and though I have a man's name and voice, they kept referring to me as "she", and I noticed I had on a white gown with reddish-pink squares, and the male patients had blue squares on theirs. That was embarrassing. It didnt' help that people had gotten bigger, and at this point I was too slender to wear any men's jackets sold, no matter how small they were, and if I tried, I was told that was a man's jacket. They'd often refuse to let me in men's fitting rooms, though sometimes they'd let me in, but it was obvious they thought I was a woman, or they would go back and check to see if any men were in there. It was just amazing, to have a social sex change like that, and I've never even heard of any guy who experienced such a thing, much less met one. I've been a female for more than 16 years now. Recently I had my hair cut so short that it's less than two inches long everywhere, and above my ears, but I still get called "ma'am" sometimes, despite that I haven't presented myself in public as anything other than a male for those 16 years, with only a handful of exceptions. Not that a couple of straight women haven't expressed interest in me. A woman I had a crush on in the sixth grade did so. I hadn't seen her in decades, but she knew I was an attorney, and I did a will for her father, and met her again. I didnt charge him, and was laughing about how when I was in the sixth grade (actually sixth through eighth), I'd often ride my bike past her house, "stalking her". We laughed about that, and I said she could take me out to dinner sometime in payment for the will, and she clearly wanted to do that several times afterward, but I simply wasn't going to have another vanilla girlfriend, and have to tell her about my TG and submissive desires. So when it comes to men in panties, and the lack of attraction women have for such stuff, I'm in kind of a different category. A bisexual woman who likes feminine women might be very attracted to me in feminine clothing, when I was younger.
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