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Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:37:14 PM   
LadyTeazer


Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		Hello all. 

I can't believe that it has happened to Me yet again.  I have been completely fooled.

It seems that I am now once again having to look for a sub male.  I was very happy with the one I had collared in August of 2007.  I got an email from him this morning -- yes, an email -- saying that he was leaving Me. 

I am stunned, heartbroken, and in shock.  I sooo did not see this coming.

I seriously wonder if there is even ONE male out there -- vanilla or sub -- who is capable of being honest.  It saddens Me to say that I doubt it.  I know the topic of lying males has been discussed to death, but.... 

This heartache is making Me think about leaving the lifestyle for good.  The pain and the lies are just not worth it.  On balance, I do not see anything positive to counter this pain, and the deceit and the games. 

Thanks for reading this.....



Oh.  Now that I no longer own My boy,  *how*  do I change/delete that from My signature when I post a message?  I can't figure out how to do that.

< Message edited by LadyTeazer -- 2/21/2009 3:41:42 PM >

_____________________________

~LadyTeazer~



"... I can bring you pain, I can bring you sudden pleasure..."


Please, help shelter animals. It will only cost you a few seconds of your time.
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/tpc/ERA_110508_ARS
> Thank You!! <
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RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:38:47 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		The email breakup is cowardly, at best.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
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RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:40:20 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Top right hand of this page, select "my profile", there is an area to make changes to your sigline

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:41:28 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		This too shall pass.  Give yourself some time to get over it, you're probably still in shock. 

To change you sig line, click on "my profile" in the upper right.  Scroll down and you will see the text box where you originally typed it in.  Just delete it and save the changes.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:43:19 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Top corner of this page says a bunch of words - one is 'My Profile' click it and it takes you to a page where you can pan down and alter your sig line.
 
It sucks that you were let down by mail, it's like phone call let downs.  But then, I don't know the kind of relationship you had or whether there is a distance to contend with.
 
I totally believe how we handle relationships and break ups is a cue to why relationships fold.  As sucky as it was the way he ended it, it's sucky that people here can know who this guy was because you pointed out your sig line.  I know you are hurting and I totally get that, but maybe a little tact may assist you for future reference?
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
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RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:43:42 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		I am so sorry.


Go to the top of this page My Profile and do it there.


"I learn by going where I have to go."     
             ~~Theodore Roethke from "TheWaking"  
 

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:43:52 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Everyone needs a break for any number of reasons.  I just would caution against letting the bad cause you to never experience the good.  Come back when you have a fresh set of eyes, wiser and more clear in what you want.  I am not saying you aren't those things now, but this is a clarifying moment if ever there was one. 

I am sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through.  I wish you all the best in the future.

lovingpet

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:47:39 PM   
LadyTeazer


Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks to all.  his name has been deleted from My sigline.

Darcy.........  distance was not an issue.  he was a live-in.  he left last sunday night to "go help a friend pack and move, who was being foreclosed on."  his email said that he is leaving Me.

_____________________________

~LadyTeazer~



"... I can bring you pain, I can bring you sudden pleasure..."


Please, help shelter animals. It will only cost you a few seconds of your time.
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/tpc/ERA_110508_ARS
> Thank You!! <

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:52:22 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyTeazer

This heartache is making Me think about leaving the lifestyle for good. 



There are no guarantees in life. Just got to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and get back on the horse.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:52:58 PM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		It's a great shame you felt you were let down, especially when it was done via email. It's understandable to feel angry and consider leaving this lifestyle, but you cannot take a leave of absence from yourself and it's from there that you need to learn to heal firstly so it's likely best that you take some time out, reflect and hopefully return with a lighter heart and a wiser head on your shoulders.

A simple use of the search facility would have rewarded you with the information you required on how to alter sig lines and without compromise to your integrity.

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 3:53:17 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		There are worse ways to break up with someone. I did it a worse way and broke up publicly here on collar. It was the only way I could release myself and the person was not listening any other way.
He then posted a surprised what?
Breaking up is horrible what ever way it is done.
It's all to do with time. Time heals everything.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 2/21/2009 3:54:11 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 4:13:00 PM   
LadyTeazer


Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan 

A simple use of the search facility would have rewarded you with the information you required on how to alter sig lines and without compromise to your integrity.



I just tried doing that.  I typed in "change sigline", "changing sigline", and "how to change signature line".  All three searches came up the same.  No information at all.  Just a very short page showing that email has a 6-month retention, and a block for 'sent mail'.   I am a certified computer dummy.

I do not feel that My integrity has been compromised at all.  If I had known how to remove his name  *before*  I posted My comment, I would have.

And regarding integrity, I am proud to say that that is a trait that I do possess.   

_____________________________

~LadyTeazer~



"... I can bring you pain, I can bring you sudden pleasure..."


Please, help shelter animals. It will only cost you a few seconds of your time.
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/tpc/ERA_110508_ARS
> Thank You!! <

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 4:16:27 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

This heartache is making Me think about leaving the lifestyle for good.


Why?  Because of the actions of a flakey sub?  This sort of thing happens on both sides of the slash, trust me when I tell you that dominants do the same stuff.  Do you want to give him the power of knowing that what he did caused you to leave the lifestyle?  The best way to combat it is to move on, be happy, and meet others.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 4:26:45 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 A simple use of the search facility would have rewarded you with the information you required on how to alter sig lines 


That is, unless, one does not speak fluent 'computer'.  I've been trying to figure it out for 2 weeks myself,. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
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RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 4:28:08 PM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		the best revenge is a life well lived

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20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub


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RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 4:31:35 PM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		A little effort goes a long way:

Effort one 

Effort two

You're upset at the moment, I in no way wish to add to that other than to say I stand by my previous comments.

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 4:43:14 PM   
SimplySoulful


Posts: 88
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but if the same sorts of things keep happening to you, instead of questioning why there isn't one single male "who is capable of being honest", question why you keep attracting this sort of man. I know I have been examining my own life in terms of why my life is what it is. (I'm not going into details.) I've realized there is merit in the idea of self-exploration and trying to improve one's self. Perhaps after a grieving period (because everyone needs that after a break-up) you could start to examine what sort of person you are projecting onto the world, who that is attracting, and what you really want to attract into your life. It's worth trying.

As for the way this guy chose to end things, it illustrates a person of very weak character.


_____________________________

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. ~ anonymous


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RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 5:19:39 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		While I'm not unsympathetic to the heartache you feel, nor am I suggesting that breaking up by email is anything but cowardly, how does this make him not "honest" or you "fooled"?

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 5:21:19 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:


I am stunned, heartbroken, and in shock.  I sooo did not see this coming.



This is likely why it's so painful.... alot of times when relationships end... even with the pain that comes with it people are not really surprized by it.  They know that the relationship was struggling etc.

I guess.... I have to wonder.... why did it catch you so unaware?   He wasn't so long-distance relationship with someone you never met.  In fact, he came a long-distance to be with you and has been there for a significant time.   I don't have any particular words that will make it easier for you, I wish I had them. 

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LadyTeazer)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Completely fooled... - 2/21/2009 6:05:11 PM   
LadyTeazer


Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

While I'm not unsympathetic to the heartache you feel, nor am I suggesting that breaking up by email is anything but cowardly, how does this make him not "honest" or you "fooled"?



It makes him not honest because he never told Me he was not satisfied, or unhappy, or wanted/needed something in our relationship to change.   I asked him any number of times about it, so he had plenty of chances to speak up, but did not.   I am a relative newbie at this lifestyle, and he has a number of years of experience (he is a switch).    Which he was aware of since we first met.  I told him I had no problem with him guiding Me as a dominant when I asked for it, because I wanted to be the best domme I could be to him.  he was not honest because by not telling Me what he was thinking and feeling about us, he "chose" to be deceitful and hide his feelings.

As for being fooled, he was affectionate, loving, and playful with Me, as he had always been, right up to the end, when I saw him off as he got on the train to "go help his friend pack and move".  he fooled Me into thinking that we were fine as a couple, and that he would be coming back to Me.

_____________________________

~LadyTeazer~



"... I can bring you pain, I can bring you sudden pleasure..."


Please, help shelter animals. It will only cost you a few seconds of your time.
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/tpc/ERA_110508_ARS
> Thank You!! <

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 20
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