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Your best bet may be a dominant who has a partner and is poly.

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL... I cannot tell you how many younger men contact me and state that experiencing them would be something I would never forget! LOL... I grew up around the free love, make love not war, older hippies, biker dudes... professional player's and bootie call one night stands.  They all offer something.  But maybe... old age has tainted and jaded me... and I want more than the experience!  Every man that said... I will treat you right babe... I give oral like no one else... sorry... most didn't have what it took to make me happily going to fourth base.  How can he do oral when he can't even kiss?  How can he keep me up all night making me orgasmiclly happy when he is a three strokes and your out kinda guy? 

And even if he could give me many nights of wonderous pleasures... why would I want them if he goes away the next day thinking all studdly like?

What is wrong with a woman/dominant wanting more?  What is wrong with not wanting to be someone's part time lover for a moment or two in life?  What is wrong in wanting more from someone we give so much to, that there is some basis for love in the first place? Saying good bye isn't hard to do... in fact many make it very easy... but some of us are looking for a guy who says hello every day and I will be back.  So you can't understand why we ask what is in it for us.  Take a guess... how about value... knowing we are respected and cared for and are not a toss away dominant who serves a purpose for a time... but only that?

Your best bet may be a dominant who has a partner and is poly.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Thanks for adding this, because all along I have been wondering.  So far, it seems that you are asking for someone to overturn your psyche for your personal gain, after which you will go merrily on your way suddenly able to delegate. 

From my POV, friendship is not enough anymore.  The sort of thing you are asking for is an enormous amount of work, commitment, and aggravation.  I don't think it's an impossible task by any means, but one that I would be extremely hesitant to take on.  If you would manipulate a therapist, why wouldn't you try and manipulate me?  Unlike my friend Shakti, I don't see your motives as being necessarily "pure" on the surface!  :) 

I am also unsure as to what you would be expecting to experience. Play?  That would be the very last thing that would occur to me.   I have bottomed heavily, I have been hogtied with no way out, and have never felt the slightest bit of submission---or even lack of control!  Do you really have it in you to give up your NON WORK responsibilities to another person?  Would you let her tell you your schedule for the day, how you are spending your disposable income, what you will be eating, wearing, doing?  If you could, could you translate that experience to your daily activities?

Or would a nice management skills class serve you better?

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ORIGINAL: Andalusite

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ORIGINAL: Eleutherios
I'm actually a practitioner of Zen meditation, it has helped me leaps and bounds over the years, no doubt about that. I'm actually hoping to get something of a meditative experience by submitting to pain, objectification and humiliation. A head space akin to sub-space, perhaps. I think that might be quite freeing.

I'm a switch, and find some kinds of pain *VERY* meditative. It can also be interesting to get into a kind of feral headspace, or even to feel the adrenaline rush of fear.

Hmm, I wouldn't want to break someone, and 24/7 isn't usually a dynamic I seek out, on either side. I'd be fine with someone who primarily had experience as a Dom who wanted to try bottoming to get into the kind of headspace you describe, but I don't know whether or not I personally would consider it submission. I'm not interested in getting into that kind of relationship with someone unless it was romantic/committed/emotional. I can play casually, but prefer to spend my time on people who are compatible with me, and the specific type of play you describe is way too intense and emotional to do with "just a friend."

BTW, a switch isn't necessarily a D/s switch - masochistic dominants, sadistic submissives, and Top/Bottom switches who don't do power exchange at all qualify, too.

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ORIGINAL: Lashra

Honestly I get two to three requests like this every week. Most of them want to learn to "submit" and usually ask what my bra size is or would I be interested in being spanked at some point in the future. These requests get deleted unanswered.  I do not play the "Dom the Domme game".

After looking at your profile I think you are seeking all sorts of answers to all kinds of questions and your really not sure how to go about finding these answers. If you hate submitting, you will not benefit from pretending to submit to someone and if it turns out to a test of wills, then what is the point? You say it is a bit of an experiment, to me it sounds like the "Dom the Domme game".

Do some soul searching, figure out who you are and where you want to go in life. Sometimes inner reflection helps more than a good ass beating or a therapist session.

Good luck,
~Lashra

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ORIGINAL: Eleutherios

Frankly, if this topic is not something of interest to you personally, but you acknowledge that it can be fulfilling for some...what's the point of your post? Letting me know it's not what *you* want? Thanks, I guess. I already conceded that it's not for everyone. I didn't post here to hear about why you think I'm a waste of your time. Please, don't waste mine. There are already posts here questioning my motives and telling me that my topic is of no interest to them. It's ceased to be useful. Do you have any other thoughts besides it's not for you? Maybe giving me a hypothetical circumstance describing what you might actually want out of such a relationship were you to be in one, just for the sake of discussion and helping someone out? Why are the responses so negative. Is this really such a taboo topic? That would help explain why so many preferred to contact me privately.... I realize I'm probably ranting, but it is a bit surprising how much suspicion and dismissal this topic has riled up. It seems irrational from my perspective. I'd love to understand it, though.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The only potential that I see it as being fulfilling is because I think most of the experiences in life we have, are at a minimum educational.  Whether they are personally fulfilling on a mental or emotional level is another matter.

The point of My post, very specifically, is to make you realize that what you offer is less.  It's not that the subject is taboo.  It's that I think people should shoot for what gives them the most benefit.

Turn the tables.  Imagine for a moment that you are searching for a submissive.  Suppose there were a number of candidates hoping to have a place at your feet.  In all honesty, wouldn't you chose the one that best met your needs?  Are you trying to tell Me that, even for a moment, you would take someone who just can't offer you the best of the best?  Wouldn't you take the cream of the crop?  Wouldn't you rather have someone with a submissive heart, rather than someone who was just playing at it?

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

Part of what I am seeing now that I know your age is that you may view things differently than say I do because of where I have been and my age.  I once thought more like you... the experience... yes... nice... better to have had it than not.  But we experience things and grow and mature and don't always need the same experiences we once went for.  We may be off and on to other things.

Also you are male and think differently than most females.  Sex is something we may view very differently and in my case... for sure! lol  Men can often times have sex with just about anyone where women aren't like that as much.  Men think sex... women think relationship.  That isn't always the case and I know men and women that think differently than I have presented it.  Hell, at one time I did.

I just hope you will realize that especially with the older dominant's they are less likely to want a younger man who wants to be involved on a shorter term basis.  We may be a bit greedy in wanting what we what as we have lived long enough to experience many different things and know what we want and it isn't that.

It does sound like you need to explore more because there may be a few surprises you are in for... but one thing... from this thread alone... you have a wealth of information to move forward with in knowing a bit of how some women think and you are smart enough to know how to present that without our coaching or approval.  I do hope you find the submission you seek... as it may be more than you think it is at this moment... but do understand, there are many who do things differently and although we might not do it the way you will... there just may be someone who will.

You came close to a submissive place that I can't remember how you discribed it.. when you were being whipped and sucked by another guy.  The combination is what stood out to me.  Think on that a while and see what you come up with.  For me... is says a lot.

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I am going to go out on a limb here and say that submission and dominance are not things that can be LEARNED.

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ORIGINAL: Eleutherios

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I am going to go out on a limb here and say that submission and dominance are not things that can be LEARNED.

It's not an uncommon idea. I've seen the debate before.
However, speaking only on what we know scientifically, dominance and submission are 100% trainable in your average human being. Think military training, behavioral conditioning, traumatic experiences... You're dominance or submission is not an inherent part of your personality. Though, I can see the comfort in believing it is. You may not be able to see the environmental causes. You may indeed have some hormonal or genetic predisposition to one way or the other, but given the right circumstances for a particular individual, environmental conditioning can even trump basic survival skills hard wired into our brains. We're discovering that if this were not the case we may not be the adaptable species we are. And biologically speaking, adaptability equals survival.
I doubt the debate will end any time soon in mainstream culture, but based on the current overwhelming evidence, it's a moot issue.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

What we do on the JOB and who we are are NOT THE SAME.  Honest.  Ask any of those enslaved military men.

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Thanks for the advice, but I know what I want out of life.

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Thank you guys so much for the advice