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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There are different types of switches, to be sure.  My question relates more to if she fails the challenge, or you do.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

That's one possibility.  Perhaps, it will bring out the Dominant in yourself, in rebellion to her Dominance.  Surely, you don't believe your educational experience will be obtained without some sort of growing pains.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I am going to go out on a limb here and say that submission and dominance are not things that can be LEARNED

Dominance and submission are at their core personality traits that can be enhanced, not skills that we can pick up at will, like learning to make a cake.

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Eleutherios
no desire to submit. However, I feel like I need to learn how to give up control, especially of my self.

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ORIGINAL: Eleutherios

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

You should look for someone you can trust in your local community, someone you respect.

You also need to seriously consider what you can offer this person for taking on this role that you feel you need. What you are talking about takes a lot of time and energy, not something most women have a surplus of, dominant or not.

For me, what you are asking is beyond simple BDSM or Ds, it's something that develops long-term in a dynamic,and therefore not something I could agree to try with someone who knows he is a top and happy with that.

I'll second the idea that a therapist might help or a life-coach too. We all have to do things in everyday life that we don't like, it's a matter of feeling confident enough and comfortable enough with yourself to not let those things bother you too much.

I appreciate your reply. You're right, a mentorship is something best done with someone who is already a friend. I didn't think I knew anyone that would or could mentor me. But I remembered a friend I was talking to about eventually doing some scenes, with me as the dominant. She is a switch, so I asked her if she'd be willing to guide me in this exploration and learning experience.

I really overstated the issue regarding how I think submitting may teach me about being more comfortable when not in control. I wish I could take it back word it more accurately, but I can't. 

I don't I need therapy. I don't need a life coach. I need a friend who can help me explore undiscovered aspects of my personality. I am a better adjusted and happier person than most people I know. So please, trust me when I say, I'm OK.

Acting submisisve makes me uncomfortable and I don't like that. But when I say it makes me uncomfortable, that doesn't mean it effects my life or how I act. You'd probably never realize I have any problem with doing submissive acts just from watching me. It's all an internal process.
I am in control of my actions, and largely my feelings too. I take pride in that. So when I realized I wasn't in control of my feelings regarding submission, I wanted know why. That's why I am trying this out, so I can better understand why I felt uncomfortable when acting submissive. 

I'm starting to think it had to do with some cognitive dissonance. I identified as a dominant, but when I have to act submissive, I feel uncomfortable. For years I've assumed that I felt uncomfortable because submission just wasn't who I am. But I'm starting to theorize I felt uncomfortable because I liked it and didn't even know it. That would explain it because I was holding two opposing ideas in my head, it didn't fit together. ...I think once I explore this further and better define what it is I feel I'll be more internally content in submisisve acts, probably even make smarter choices because of that.

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ORIGINAL: Andalusite

I think it sounds like you've found a good partner for exploring this with. You already know and are comfortable with each other, I assume she's fine with the kind of relationship you're offering, or she wouldn't have taken you up on it, and since she's a D/s switch who has conscious control over it, it sounds like she'd be better able to handle it, wherever it winds up going. Have fun!

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ORIGINAL: lateralist1

If I were training you there would be absolutely no physical 'play' for as long as it took to dominate you 24/7.
Submission has got absolutely nothing to do with BDSM unless your partner happens to be a BDSM Dominant or BDSM submissive.
So I am still unclear on what you want to experience.
Being submissive or being played with BDSM style?
Lots of men are submissive doesn't mean I want them as my partner.
Lots of women I'm sure could dominate you given the opportunity.
When I was ten years old I dominated a much bigger boy than me in vanilla and BDSM. He didn't have to let me. I've bottomed before I realised that I would much rather dominate. I wasn't being dominated until there was nothing I could do about it.
When someone hits you in the face with his fists there isn't a lot you can do about it.
Except get rid of him. To experience submission all you have to do is find a dominant partner and submit to her 24/7. Full stop end of story. It doesn't have to be negotiated.
If you want BDSM 'play' then go to a pro Domme. Just tell her that you want to be dominated BDSM style and pay her for her trouble.
Or would that be too simple and to honest?
It seems to me what you actually want is too experience more kinky sex. Just like lots of other people in the lifestyle. It just makes it more acceptable if your being dominated into it lol.

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ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

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I know exactly what it feels like. And I hate it. I hate submitting in every aspect of my life. I do it, of course, as we all do from day to day. But I would be a much happier and well adjusted person if I could learn to be content when not in control.

It is the wise person who realizes they cannot master all things, there will always be someone better, faster, smarter. To learn the art of negotiation, give and take, thrust and parry is to understand how to maneuver through life-it does not denote any form of submission in the context of BDSM--in real life we are all submissives to something, someone--parents, employers, the government, etc etc etc--to feel that you are  less than because you cannot control it all IMHO is fool hardy and far from realistic.  To think you must control all is arrogance not the mark of a  Dominant, it is the mark of "domineering"--rule number one, learn the difference.
 

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A reasonable suggestion, one I've considered. But a therapist can not strip me bare of my control over my self. 

Of course not, because for you it is a mental challenge, you must win at all costs to make up for the times in your life you are not in control--you will respond the same way with a Domina--an embittered battle of wills is never pretty. No they cannot strip you bare, but they can help you define a more productive way to use and accept it.

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wanted to also add... I'm trained in therapy and psych... It's too easy for me to manipulate and deceive the therapist, even non-intentionally. I need someone domineering with strong will power that won't take no for an answer.

Always a response when someone is challenged, "i've been trained in xx so I know better"   mhm.  A good Dominant is NOT domineering--Dominance and submission is not a battle of wills where one is forced to acquiesce.  Dominance is only as good as the submission it inspires and vice versa. Its not a matter of Me not taking no for an answer its a matter that No is not an option. As a Dominant, I am far from omnipotent, My sub knows this, I would not have a sub who did think I was all knowing-what he does know and can DEPEND on is that I will always seek the information needed to make informed decisions, to guide him/Us and the family in an intelligent and realistic manner-even at times acquiescing. Just because chezz makes better meatballs or knows his way around New York, doesn't mean I am submissive to him in any manner, it means I am a smart cookie. Dominance is not breaking of the will, it is the melding into an environment of growth--but melding with permission.

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And don't worry... I'm well adjusted enough. My personal issues don't run so deep that I really need therapy. This is more about better my self as a person with new experiences and gaining wisdom.

To gain wisdom, one must acknowledge that they know nothing, until you are there, it will always be your way or no way and that will never work.

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Personally, if I was approached with such a request, I'd love the challenge

...

I don't see Dominance as a challenge nor would I, I am not here for a tug of war, I am here to lead, to blend, to help grow and to nurture-not for a conquest-conquests are boring, they are no win situations, I have to deal with those in everyday life, I don't expect them in My private  life. You may think you have thrown down the gauntlet, but I guarantee, many a wise Domina will say, "pfftt, nice gauntlet, have a nice day". A good D/s relationship is about each walking away with  some satisfaction, each putting skin in the game, each acquiescing in certain areas. I am afraid you have mistaken Female Dominance with those erotic ads with the man subdued with the boot heel.

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And I'd relish the opportunity to be a part of someone's personal growth. But I'm not most people.

  We do and we are everyday, but I can assure you not to the battle of forcing someone to submit--that's where most fail--its not a battle of wills, its not the domineering bitch from hell--its a dance on the saber, carefully negotiated, carefully choreographed and carefully executed.

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And I'd really like to know the best way to go about approaching someone about this... From the dominant's perspective, I don't imagine she would really be required to do anything very out of the ordinary compared to how she usually dominates.

It is very out of the ordinary--our subs come to us comfortable with their desire for submission, prepared for the acquiescence. The ones who come armed with passive aggressive dominance, pretty much don't make the buddy list, at least not Mine.

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ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

Yes, it's a realistic request.  You'll learn a great deal engaging in the submissive process, whether you end up identifying as a sub or not.  I think most Domina's who have real time experience, rather than online b.s., would take your request seriously and would teach you from their perspective.

I would not recommend approaching this subject openly, however, where you currently identify as a Dom.  My experience has been that a local community who respects or knows a man as a Dom will flame him and label him as a switch if he seeks instruction from the sub point of view.

I would approach a Domme within a reasonable driving distance and ask if she would consider teaching you without 'outing' you to your circle of acquaintances.  Even that will be risky.  You'll find a gaggle of women just dying to gossip about so and so who is a 'secret sub', etc etc etc.

I wouldn't let that stop you from investigating the possibilities, but I would use some caution with regard to who you approach with your request.

TM