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RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 8:26:56 AM

MasterTslave

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That would be a hard limit for me as well. I was with a man that thought that a 3 way was all that any man could ever ask for...I WOULD NOT do it and in the end, it wrecked a lot of things we had together. I just couldn't do it. I am not into having sex, fingering or otherwise making a female cum...I would not do that for Master T, even tho he is my Master and my love. I would put my foot down on that one. If you do not want to do it, tell your Dom/Master this and don't do it.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 21

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 8:31:53 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

...But for me, it just is not one of my turn ons...

Master desires this slave to do things that are not "her" specific turn on's, but because submitting sexually to another's desires is a turn-on, it works out pretty well.

this slave is also a straight, heterosexual, female slave...however, the only hard limits this slave has are regarding Master's preferences and turn-offs...not hers.

if it was a standing order (unless he had someone specific already planned for the activity) this slave would ask permission to hire a professional as a partner for her. this slave would get tips and pointers from her, as if she was taking a class in "Lesbian Sex 101" and then proceed with the performance...enthusiastically!

His pleasure is paramount.

best of luck to you!!!

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 22

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 9:23:35 AM

Chgolostnlooking

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Joined: 10/21/2008
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I'm a straight male - one of my hard limits is bisexual or homosexual touching.

There are a couple of threads in the "Ask a Mistress" forum where this subject is discuss - and it really opened my eyes. I had no idea so many Dommes enjoy seeing men together and some really LIKE IT when the men involved feel uncomfortable about pushing boundaries with these types of actions.

There are several arguements about what is bisexual and what isn't - I read quite a few of them. Some Dommes come down on the side of "if he's doing it for me and wouldn't do it for personal choice, touching another guy doesn't make him bi - he's doing it for me". I disagree - I believe you are what you do. I am straight because I like women and feel no sexual attraction to men. If you do, that's fine - I am not bigoted. But, I am straight - touching another guy to please a Domme would make me feel differently about myself. If you identify yourself as a straight female and you please another woman - I think you'll be dealing with that in your own head. Again, it's not a right or wrong thing - do whatever that pulls you. But don't lie to yourself - be who you are.

Lastly, I would feel hypocritical if I didn't say that as a straight guy I love to see women together. I understand where the Dom is coming from on this.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 23

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 9:35:04 AM

junecleaver

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It would be gross and uncomfortable, but it wouldn't be the first time I put myself in a gross/uncomfortable situation for a dominant partner.

What exactly do you feel you would lose by doing this?

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 24

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 9:39:09 AM

slavekal

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I have had dommes who tried to get me to do sexual stuff with another guy. Hard limit. Won't do it. Lucky for me, Ms. Mlicious doesn't try to force me. She is content to play with bi boys when she finds them.

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(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 25

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 9:56:40 AM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
if it was a standing order (unless he had someone specific already planned for the activity) this slave would ask permission to hire a professional as a partner for her. this slave would get tips and pointers from her, as if she was taking a class in "Lesbian Sex 101" and then proceed with the performance...enthusiastically!

His pleasure is paramount.

This is not something i have thought of, and it could be a way of dealing with it. i say this because i have partnered another female in pleasuring Master when Wwe were in Amsterdam last year. i loved it; we were both giving to Him and the fact that i was in close contact with her was not an issue then... Obviously she was a professional... *smiles* infact i chose her from her shop window lol! Maybe she could show me things and then we could please Him in another way too... Thankyou for that different point of view!

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 26

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 10:01:06 AM

GabrielleSlave

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From: in servitude
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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

It would be gross and uncomfortable, but it wouldn't be the first time I put myself in a gross/uncomfortable situation for a dominant partner.

What exactly do you feel you would lose by doing this?

That is the thing..... i don't know, i would be betraying the real me? Is that even valid? i mean, i don't think for one minute that doing this would turn me lesbian, or even bi. i would still be me... so at the end of the day i would be pleasing Him and nothing more. i would surely therefore gain from it, not lose....

i am confused yes, but all this discussion is helping me! Thankyou everyone for your input so far and to anyone else who is thinking of posting.

gabrielle x

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to junecleaver)

Post #: 27

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 10:12:34 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
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quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra

I have never asked a submissive to perform acts that are contrary to their nature. If I really wanted a slave that does sex acts with women, I would have one that is bi-sexual not straight. If I wanted a slave that did bestiality, I would have one that gets off on that kind of thing. Normally, a slave's fundamental and personal nature is to be respected.

RL is right spot on ! IMHO

My Sir knows I am not bisexual as in the common meaning of the term. Intimacy with, compansionship with, cuddly snuggly with as well as kissing and enjoying boobs is where I am at.

I had a relationship with a gal for 2 yrs in college. It's nature was what I just described.

If I had absolutely NO interest in woman then my Sir would totally respect that. But I am willing to go beyond my comfort zone if my Sir would ever request it of me. Your obvious reaction is not waht you are comfortable with.

If your dom is asking this of you just to get his rocks off on a threesome, even after 2 yrs of being with him, I would question the compatability of the relationship.
I know I would.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

Post #: 28

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 10:29:46 AM

EclipseAbove

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I see a possible big distinction that isn't being addressed. There is a pretty big difference between pleasuring another woman and enjoying pleasuring another woman. The first one only requires the ability and willingness to perform the act. The second one is a whole different can of worms. I could see possibly having a different limit or preference for each of those. Which is he asking for? If it is the first, a very real outcome is the women involved acting as if they'd been asked to clean out a construction site port-a-john with a toothbrush.

I think you should identify exactly what he is asking for and determine your willingness to do it since limits are about willingness and not preference.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 29

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 11:01:10 AM

Lashra

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This is what I tell my sub when he is struggling with something. Ask yourself this question "Will this damage me mentally, physically or emotionally?" If the answer is yes, then do not do it. It simply is not worth you being harmed and your Dominant should not want you harmed and therefore understand. If the answer is no, then perhaps you need to research why it is something that you are struggling with. There could be some underlying reasons which make you fearful of trying this.

Good luck,
~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 30

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 11:03:34 AM

Viridana

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I wanna throw in another point of view. The view of the recipent woman. Would I like being licked, touched or whatever by a woman that is obviously digusted or severly distraught by it? nope.

(in reply to EclipseAbove)

Post #: 31

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 11:05:58 AM

LaTigresse

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That is a verrrrrrrrrrrry good point! And something a man might not consider.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Viridana)

Post #: 32

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 11:14:42 AM

GabrielleSlave

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From: in servitude
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A very good point indeed.... hmmmm *pausing for more thought*

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 33

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 11:19:15 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

That is a verrrrrrrrrrrry good point! And something a man might not consider.

a sadistic man, however...might consider it a LOT...

but seriously...there are folks out there that report they like to see/feel/know that some form of struggle is going on within their submissive, or it just isn't fulfilling for them.

this slave interprets a Master/Dominant who desires their heterosexual slave to engage in homosexual activity as one who enjoys the struggle...else why not pick a bisexual or homosexual slave to fulfill that desire?

quote:

...Would I like being licked, touched or whatever by a woman that is obviously digusted or severly distraught by it? nope...orig: Viridana

it's one of the reasons this slave suggested she seek out a professional. it might lessen the pressure on the slave and potential negative experience for the other woman if she was coming into it as a teaching/learning experience from a professional sex worker.

quote:

...Maybe she could show me things and then we could please Him in another way too... Thankyou for that different point of view!...orig: GabrielleSlave

that's the spirit!!!

you are most welcome!!!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 34

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 11:41:08 AM

rabinyaZharovna

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Okay I haven't read all the replies due to a lack of time, so if this has been said, please forgive. I doubt it has though... To me, (note meeee) if the possibility of saying no, of proclaiming a hard limit, is something you can do, then you are not a slave, but a submissive. If you are a submissive then you have that right and certainly would and should examine the situation from that perspective. You say though, you are his slave. To me, as a slave, I own nothing.... all is my Masters... including "my sexuality." It isn't for me to claim I am heterosexual, or bisexual, or anyothersexual.

Before him was I drawn to other women? not really. Before him was I cool with being shared? No. Now? Now the only thing that matters is how much pleasure I bring to him... now all I can think of is doing it to my very best ability... because all I can think of is how distraught I would be if he were left unsatisfied with how well I performed... perhaps that is where your concern is... your fear... not knowing what to do and being worried that he will be left disappointed by your performance?

_____________________________

In making me nothing, He makes me everything

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 35

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 11:43:46 AM

junecleaver

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Imo, it's not betraying the real you. When he tells you to do x and you're not really in the mood for x, but you do it anyway...is that a betrayal? In the end, you of course have to decide for yourself. :) Glad discussion is helping.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 36

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 12:19:03 PM

mc1234

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After reading through the replies, I'm left wondering what it is, Gabrielle, that you are 'terrified' of. Are you afraid of not being any good sexually for the other woman? Are you afraid of disappointing him with your performance? Are you uncomfortable with his sitting back and watching the two of you? Being judged? By him and/or by her?

Someone wrote about how common this is - and in my experience it is. Most men I've served have come up with this scenario at one time or another. It only became reality once. I was curious; it went fine; the situation hasn't come up again. It was no biggie to me - simply another way to explore my sexuality. (and quite honestly, she sucked at making me cum, but it was lovely all the same - the softness, the gentleness, the kisses ... very nice, even without orgasm) But for you, something is blocking that thought.

Are you disgusted by the act of going down on another woman? By touching her intimately? Do you ever view porn between two women - pictures, movies - nothing goofy and contrived, but something good showing how nice it can be with two women.

You mentioned about how perhaps you would be being 'untrue' to yourself if you participated in this. Perhaps you're not sure who your true self is - this is unlocking doors in your mind and it's a scary thing?

Whatever the bottom line is, I certainly don't think your questioning your limit and discussing this with him versus being purely obedient and just jumping into the act is 'unslavey' of you. He's thrown you a curveball, and you're dealing with it - being open and honest, and I think that's commendable. :)

Ooh, one last thought - does this bringing another woman into your relationship, even if it's nothing steady - does that threaten the security you feel with him? hmmmm... I know I've dealt with those feelings.

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** Owned by E **

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 37

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 12:31:39 PM

GabrielleSlave

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From: in servitude
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rabinyaZharovna

To me, (note meeee) if the possibility of saying no, of proclaiming a hard limit, is something you can do, then you are not a slave, but a submissive.

Yes, i agree with you. i have never ultimately refused Him anything... Wwe have worked together through whatever i was finding difficult and in the end i have done it.

quote:

To me, as a slave, I own nothing.... all is my Masters... including "my sexuality." It isn't for me to claim I am heterosexual, or bisexual, or anyothersexual.

i can certainly understand your point here, but i think that a person's sexuality cannot intrinsically be changed; it is what it is. A person can surely become used to a particular activity, but deep down i am not sure that that would change their true nature. An example, if rather a silly one, would be if i was to paint my face blue and keep it that way permanantly to please Him, would i not still be my own skin colour underneath it all?

quote:

Now the only thing that matters is how much pleasure I bring to him... now all I can think of is doing it to my very best ability... because all I can think of is how distraught I would be if he were left unsatisfied with how well I performed... perhaps that is where your concern is... your fear... not knowing what to do and being worried that he will be left disappointed by your performance?

This is huge. i am in huge amounts of fear here...not just for touching another woman in this way or failing at doing it right, but failing Him by not being able to do it in the first place. i feel a great deal of pressure, but it is not all coming from Him, far from it; it's coming from me. i have a huge issue with failure in anything He sets me, whatever it is.

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to rabinyaZharovna)

Post #: 38

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 12:42:17 PM

GabrielleSlave

Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234
You mentioned about how perhaps you would be being 'untrue' to yourself if you participated in this. Perhaps you're not sure who your true self is - this is unlocking doors in your mind and it's a scary thing?

It seems that at the moment i have two true selves....one who is not bi and the other who obeys her Master... they are both at loggerheads...

quote:

Whatever the bottom line is, I certainly don't think your questioning your limit and discussing this with him versus being purely obedient and just jumping into the act is 'unslavey' of you. He's thrown you a curveball, and you're dealing with it - being open and honest, and I think that's commendable. :)

Sincerely, thankyou for saying that *smiles*

quote:

Ooh, one last thought - does this bringing another woman into your relationship, even if it's nothing steady - does that threaten the security you feel with him? hmmmm... I know I've dealt with those feelings.

No. i don't feel threatened any more by this in that way, than He does when He gets me to do things with another guy. If He was doing something on His own, separate from me then that would be a different issue, but Wwe have always said that when Wwe include other people in Oour playtime it would be as a couple.

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to mc1234)

Post #: 39

RE: Why is this a hard limit? - 3/4/2009 2:15:01 PM

Ph0enixF1re

Posts: 91
Joined: 5/11/2006
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ARGH! I did it again.... :( wasn't looking at posted under him... sorry it's me, rabinyaZharovna........

quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

i can certainly understand your point here, but i think that a person's sexuality cannot intrinsically be changed; it is what it is. A person can surely become used to a particular activity, but deep down i am not sure that that would change their true nature. An example, if rather a silly one, would be if i was to paint my face blue and keep it that way permanantly to please Him, would i not still be my own skin colour underneath it all?

Perhaps a better way to convey it is this.... how often would I even recall the fact that under the blue was another color? Would it still be there? I guess... all though certainly the blue would probably stain it to some degree... if you follow my point. If you never see it anymore, never look at it, forget its there, is it really still there in anyway with any meaning with any purpose? Do you see what I mean? Maybe underneath somewhere that the original color is still there, but if you live as if it doesn't exist, eventaully you forget it even does... it is in effect, nonexistent.

quote:

This is huge. i am in huge amounts of fear here...not just for touching another woman in this way or failing at doing it right, but failing Him by not being able to do it in the first place. i feel a great deal of pressure, but it is not all coming from Him, far from it; it's coming from me. i have a huge issue with failure in anything He sets me, whatever it is.

I absolutely understand this... it wouldn't come from my Master either. My Master would be prepared to help me through any difficulties etc and would probably state that the simple fact I had tried so hard to please him brought him more than enough satisfaction... but still, I would feel the desperate need to not hear THAT speech, but rather the one in which he tells me how wonderful I am, how proud he is... how I am everything he could ever hope for in a slave. So, yeah, I get that :)

< Message edited by Ph0enixF1re -- 3/4/2009 2:16:14 PM >

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(in reply to GabrielleSlave)

Post #: 40

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