RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master



Message

NuevaVida -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 8:17:46 AM)

Weight Watchers is my new dom, and a very effective one, at that!  [;)]

angel I'm not sure why you jumped on Aquatic as you did, for being concerned.  I didn't see her statement as condescending at all.  The fact is, master's/doms DO go away sometimes, and if that person was someone's only motivating drive behind not just weight loss but any self improvement effort, what happens if and when the person goes away?  Speaking from personal experiences, that leaves a lot of pieces to pickup.  There is nothing wrong with feeling concern for someone who is so reliant on their master/dom/owner that they can not function on their own (be it with a particular effort or life as a whole) without him/her.  Being concerned does not automatically mean "I think you're wrong, blah blah blah", it simply means they hope the person doesn't fail her/himself in the long run.

And LaTigresse, I see your point, and think there are just various camps of preferences out there.  There are those who "want to find a dom to help me lose weight" and there are those who "want a dom to accept me as I am, weight and all."

Personally speaking, one of the most effective statements I have received, and it's from a dominant I am currently seeing, was said when I expressed concerned (before we met face to face) about being oversized and feeling unattractive as a result:  "You just enjoy being you, and love what's on the inside.  You have the rest of your life to change what you don't like on the outside."  So simple, and it hit home for me.  I joined WW a couple of weeks later and I'm 12 pounds down and counting...  And the dom?  He is not pushing me to go, but he celebrates the loss with me every time I weigh in. And when we cook together or for each other, he supports my food needs.  For me, this is more effective than the attempts at motivating me in the past, by others.



barelynangel -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 9:20:16 AM)

Perhaps this will help with how i look at this whole concept with regard to MY slavery and how i view slavery:

My life with my Master was based on mastery and discipline that was defined by his expectations and standards because i was his property.  When i was required to maintain a weight, size and healthy in shapeness, all of that expectation and requirement and standard WAS THE SAME TO ME as how i greeted him, how i was required to speak to him, how i walked, talked in general etc, how i portrayed myself outside of his presence etc, how i existed with his rules and demands that were there for his pleasure and required of me for his pleasure.   I didn't take the weight part of it and divide it from the whole and say well maybe i should be self-sufficient and do this on my own, or omg he is disciplining me because i am fat or out of shape or he hates me because he wants to change me or he is discriminating against me because he wants me to be thin etc etc etc, when i was i was being disciplined it was because i simply disobeyed or did not reach or maintain his expectations and standards BECAUSE of my disobedience NO MATTER WHAT THE TOPIC be it my weight, exercise, food, how i spoke to him, how i knelt, how i got dinner prepared, my attitude etc.    That DYNAMIC i existed in was what created the atmosphere wherein my weight, body image etc was all incorporated into the discipline i received AND his expectations and standards of me, much of it was because i needed it, some of it was because he wanted it.  I didn't weed out that part weight, body image etc as separate and distinct from the rest, i was to obey him and reach and maintain his expectations and standards no matter WHAT it was, if i failed to do so because of disobedience i was disciplined.  It was the dynamic not the individual demands of him or the individual wants of myself that caused me to succeed it was the dynamic and my focus on him and his expectations and standards he required of me.

I hope this explains more on where i am coming from.  I have a hard time deviating out things like weight loss or getting in shape from the way i am expected to greet him or demands he makes of me in other concepts because of his pleasure.  So i guess i was having a hard time understanding why so many were trying to take the concept OUT of the dynamic as a whole.  Maybe that is why i am having a hard time with what people are saying about how a specific topic should be addressed.  Why should it be addressed within the dynamic any differently than any other topic in your dynamic.  If you are willing to focus on him because you are a slave, accept his discipline, instruction, and expectations on other things, why all the big deal because its the weight or in shapeness of a slave or sub and suddenly she needs to find the wearwithall from within on this topic??

I am not asking people to LIVE this way or conduct their relationship this way, i am hoping people will realize SOME people do exist this way, which is a concept where their life is not self-focused that drives them to achieve.  This is why i believe when a woman needs and wants help from her Dom or Master or wants him to kick her ass into gear, i BELIEVE it is a way SOME people can achieve success, sure there are what ifs where the success can deteriorate, but why not exist in the achievability based on what you know of yourself -- i.e., you need someone to kick start your behind because you can't do it for yourself, and worry about the what if's IF they occur.  Its taken over 8 years for me to lose everything he achieved through his expectations and standards EIGHT years.  So many times, through repetition you DO learn to maintain, and it doesn't go away overnight, nor does the discipline he instilled but based in the person, many times it DOES go away because the person never HAD the self-discipline in the first place and more than likely never will.

angel

PS Can we leave the drama insighting words such as stating i jumped on someone simply because i strongly disagreed with her as she did with me out of it.  This is a good discussion, hopefully it will continue without the drama many threads fall to.



Malicious -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 10:12:28 AM)

Hello there.  I'll share my ongoing story if you don't mind.  I am nineteen and I have some weight problems.  Not sevear but it's fairly noticable.  I also have a thyroid condition.  Hypothyroidism, I do not blame my hypothyroidism for all of my weight but I have a hard time losing weight and with my current living status I am expected to eat what is cooked for me which is not always as healthy as it could be.  I am changing this, with the help of my mentor who thinks it is in my best intrest to be as healthy as possible.  On this note I would like to also add my opinions on a Dom helping a sub or slave with her/his weight loss.   I would like to say that a slave or sub is most pleased when pleasing their Master or dominate and if it displeased the Master/Dominate then of course they would shape their slave or sub how they would like them to be am I wrong?  If indeed you have property, you would want to keep it in the best condition possible, help it live as long as it could, ect.  And if your slave or sub is unhappy that most definately reflects on you as well so why would you not help them?  Either way, in the end it doesn't seem like it's a bad choice to help them.  Unless of course you're not in it for anything but play.  I am of course meaning that if you have a slave or a sub living with you and someone that requires your constant attention as a Master or Dom, you would of course have their best intrests in mind as their best intrests are YOUR best intrests because they live to please, you. I hope this doesn't offend, thank you.



Jeptha -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 10:18:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
...I only asked because I do believe that there would be sub/slaves that would cheer the idea of the dominant helping them lose weight, but would scream bloody murder if it was demanded that they lose weight.

Probably so.
I wouldn't make it an issue of weight, though. Maybe that's the problem; people focus on weight and not on the choices they've made that got them there.
They try to change the weight without changing the choices.

Similarly; it isn't a "diet" as in a temporary thing ~ it's probably got to involve a change of habits of some kind, in a long term sense.

With that in mind, I would not talk about losing weight with a partner, but if there is something in their lifestyle that they regularly do (or don't do) which seems like an unhealthy choice, then that could be subject for review.



AquaticSub -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 12:23:31 PM)

Of course we realize that. But you need to realize that other people (perhaps me, perhaps not) don't. And since I don't know the OP's personal idea on slavery, d/s, BDSM or what color underwear to wear on Tuesdays, I'm going to try to bring up any angle that they may not have considered.

Which has nothing to do with your idea of what slavery is or your dynamic.



SailingBum -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 12:36:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Bursts out laughing -- wanna be like Mike, Badone?  grins, you are a ray of sunshine in a vast sea of political correctness.  And yes, i fully agree with you -- fat people need to do something about it.   I am in no way advocating someone being fat lol i think its a sad fact of our society that needs to change.  Which i think is what this thread is about.  How people go about it.  You get a bozo button for being so accomplished and having the ability to achieve what you want to on your own without anyone as your motivation.   Maybe why you are a Dom rather than a sub or a slave.




Who is Mike??? 

There you go making excuses for ppl.  What bullshit.  Eating a kinda well balanced meal is "basic"  Kinda like breathing If your not smart enuff to figure out how to lose the weight you want ....Your not smart enuff to hang with me.

I am NOT referring to the folks that are content with their weight be it scrawny or fat.  I am only talking about the ppl that want me to enable them to lose the lbs.

I am not in shape I'd like to be in ...I am way to lazy to do anything about it.  Im comfortable in my own skin.

FYI  I think its like 74% of ppl that lose the gain it all back in a year.  Ya see sweetie ya got motivate internally.  SHEESH.  Hands out clues to the rest of the folks that actually believe the weight loss bull shit on late nite TV.  There is not a magic bullet.  A constant stuggle until you change your habits.

BadOne




YourhandMyAss -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 1:01:01 PM)

You have to be willing to do some of it yourself, and trust me, I'm not a skinnyminnie just blathering on about something she don't know about.


I am over weight have been since I was 18. It's good to have support and someone to turn to and help you hold up the slack when it gets a bit to heavy, He can't do it all for you. There has to be initiative from you.

I have found, with a Daddy of my own who's a junk food fanatic, I have to hold myself accountable sometimes. When he's eating two microwave mini pizzas and chugging a coke at 10 pm, I have t be responcible for my own choices, I can't just throw down two mini pizzas and a coke cause he tempted me by eating them.

My health decisions and weather I make smart choices can not ride on Daddy,  and I can not depends on him to enforce health, because he's content to eat junk and drink tons of soda's and while he's slowly changing the soda habit and now goes to the gym like once a week, he's still not willing to be active and give it 100 percent, so my giving it 100 percent has to come from me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JulieElizabeth

thanks for your feedback E/everyone.  i'm afraid this is the only way i'm going to lose weight is if i'm held accountable by my Daddy in some way



YourhandMyAss -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 1:05:08 PM)

My daddy told me when I got skinny enough, cause I asked, yes he'd buy me a dress, any dress I Wanted then he'd take me out in it.

Another incentive, would be to be skinny enough to fit on the carnival rides I'd like to ride but am to fat to go on. All though it's not a big incentive, more like a heyt hat'd be fun deal.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caillin

My suggestion would be to have a goal that isn't about the number on the scale. Make it some type of play that you want to try, but can't do at your current weight or just haven't tried yet.

Every week you don't make your goal, your punishment is to research an aspect of that type of play.

Basically, your punishment is a reminder of why you want to lose weight, so rather than a punishment, it is a reminder of the reward you are looking for.




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 1:08:18 PM)

i've asked Daddy's advice about eating healthier however He doesn't impose weight lost as a must in our relationship



YourhandMyAss -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 1:10:31 PM)

If my world was 200 percent like it should be and I was everything you outlined I'd still want a dom because I don't want a dom because my life's out of order or I suck at responsibility or I need someone to hold me accountable or I can't manage my own life.
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

I mean to me, if a person who calls themselves a slave or sub are seriously capable of making all the right decisions on their own and totally are absolutely responsible and self-sufficient in all this i am such the adult responsibilities -- seriously, why the heck would you want a dom?  To humor him?  I don't really need you to be in control and a dominant presence in my life, but i will let you think i do. 

angel



cantilena -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 1:25:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

Probably so.
I wouldn't make it an issue of weight, though. Maybe that's the problem; people focus on weight and not on the choices they've made that got them there.

They try to change the weight without changing the choices.

Similarly; it isn't a "diet" as in a temporary thing ~ it's probably got to involve a change of habits of some kind, in a long term sense.

With that in mind, I would not talk about losing weight with a partner, but if there is something in their lifestyle that they regularly do (or don't do) which seems like an unhealthy choice, then that could be subject for review.



This whole post boils the whole thing down perfectly, especially the part I bolded.  At least that's how I see it.

There are three variables with body size / body composition, and three variables only.  Calories in.  Calories spent. Individual metabolism.  That's it.  Another consideration is obviously the nutritional value of calories in, but that's another discussion. (Clearly, I don't buy - in any way shape or form - the notion that certain foods dramatically impact how calories are metabolized by the body. i.e. "low-carb", "low-fat", "lotsa grapefruit" etc.)

Alter our choices affecting those three variables to one extent or another, and over time the result will be there.  Focus on weight-loss, body comp, or appearance in and of itself is completely pointless.

So, it would be unrealistic and ineffective, I imagine, for a dominant to order "weight loss" or "size x".  I do believe, though, that for some people the right dominant can be of great help by shaping/ordering/disciplining the submissive's choices regarding the three variables that ultimately lead to those goals.



agirl -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 2:43:00 PM)

I'm not at all overweight...but when I don't get my unmotivated arse to the gym I become less toned and lack the energy, strength and fitness level that I like to have.

When I know I'm wholly unmotivated I ask M to provide the kickstart, to *force* me to go, if you like. He's never found it an onerous task to do this.

We decide a penalty for me not sticking to whatever regime we decide is best. I tell him what I want to achieve and he helps me get motivated again by providing the kickstart. I'm extremely grateful for this. Once I'm up and running and enthusiastic again from the results I'm getting......... he's happy to have contributed to it.

I want to be fit but get in a rut at times and it's marvelous to have an interested and willing motivator.

He's done this with other things I want to achieve too and he's as thrilled as I am when I get there.

agirl





agirl -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 2:54:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

If my world was 200 percent like it should be and I was everything you outlined I'd still want a dom because I don't want a dom because my life's out of order or I suck at responsibility or I need someone to hold me accountable or I can't manage my own life.



I can do many, many things and can run my life fairly well but it's most assuredly more efficient and more productive with M in the old driving seat. I don't have to be crap at everything to appreciate the fact that life is better with his control. He has skills that I don't have, he has character traits that I will never have and they enhance my life.( I am crap at a few things, though)......lol

agirl






YourhandMyAss -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 3:05:34 PM)

Yeah I agree. There's some things that a D enhances, even if we can manage our own lives fairly well.
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

If my world was 200 percent like it should be and I was everything you outlined I'd still want a dom because I don't want a dom because my life's out of order or I suck at responsibility or I need someone to hold me accountable or I can't manage my own life.



I can do many, many things and can run my life fairly well but it's most assuredly more efficient and more productive with M in the old driving seat. I don't have to be crap at everything to appreciate the fact that life is better with his control. He has skills that I don't have, he has character traits that I will never have and they enhance my life.( I am crap at a few things, though)......lol

agirl







daddysprop247 -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 4:24:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Sooooooo, all those that advocate a master/mistress "helping" a slave/submissive lose weight.........are you equally as supportive of a master/mistress "demanding" a slave/submissive lose and maintain a weight they feel is correct?

Or does that cross the "Take me, want me, as I am. I am not good enough. You are descriminating against fat people." line?


this has turned into quite an interesting discussion, but since i'm jumping in late, i wanted to respond to this most of all.

to answer the question...yes, absolutely, 100%, heck yeah! imo that goes without saying, an Owner/slave relationship the Owner has the right to make whatever demands of and involving the slave that they wish. personally as a slave i find it much more constructive and effective to have clear and stated demands and requirements that i must meet in order to please my Master, rather than him playing some passive "i'll be here to support you" role. my Master has set certain physical standards for me that i must maintain. He will also help me in whatever way is necessary in order to meet those standards...but i MUST meet those standards, just as i must clean his home, cook his meals, serve his cock, etc. the bottom line is that it is about his pleasure and fulfillment after all, he will mold me and i will mold myself in whatever manner is necessary in order to suit his needs.

like angel, i apparently don't have the PC view of slavery either, lol.



antipode -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 6:19:06 PM)

quote:

which is why I question anyone who is going to make their dom a driving force in their weight loss.


Hear hear. I would far prefer not to be my sub's therapist - mentor, OK, but that's as far as it goes. I have in the past had to deal with a sub's eating disorder, and made her being with me conditional on her getting into some form of therapy, which I did offer to pay for. There are things I'll deal with, and things I won't, you have a good point that the motivation has to come from the person, and using me for an excuse isn't what works in the long term. This doesn't mean that weight loss can't be made part of the D/s dynamic (chain up the sub within sight of the refrigerator, hehe), but I don't believe in one partner therapeuting the other, whatever the nature of the relationship. It becomes very much a relationship of unequals, which is never a good thing.

I had a live-in slave who was doing soft drugs, something she'd been into for years, and in our negotiations I warned her that I don't tolerate illegal stuff at my house, as it can jeopardize my clearances. She said she understood, but couldn't hack it, which wasn't helped by my cousin, who took it upon himself to supply her now and again. So I booted her - she did go into therapy, afterwards, and I believe she is clean now, for me it is proof once again that the only thing that works, with addictions, is tough love. Overeating, any eating disorder, after all, is addictive behaviour, and there are lots of professionals that have good tools for dealing with them.



NuevaVida -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/10/2009 11:23:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Perhaps this will help with how i look at this whole concept with regard to MY slavery and how i view slavery:

My life with my Master was based on mastery and discipline that was defined by his expectations and standards because i was his property.  When i was required to maintain a weight, size and healthy in shapeness, all of that expectation and requirement and standard WAS THE SAME TO ME as how i greeted him, how i was required to speak to him, how i walked, talked in general etc, how i portrayed myself outside of his presence etc, how i existed with his rules and demands that were there for his pleasure and required of me for his pleasure.   I didn't take the weight part of it and divide it from the whole and say well maybe i should be self-sufficient and do this on my own, or omg he is disciplining me because i am fat or out of shape or he hates me because he wants to change me or he is discriminating against me because he wants me to be thin etc etc etc, when i was i was being disciplined it was because i simply disobeyed or did not reach or maintain his expectations and standards BECAUSE of my disobedience NO MATTER WHAT THE TOPIC be it my weight, exercise, food, how i spoke to him, how i knelt, how i got dinner prepared, my attitude etc.    That DYNAMIC i existed in was what created the atmosphere wherein my weight, body image etc was all incorporated into the discipline i received AND his expectations and standards of me, much of it was because i needed it, some of it was because he wanted it.  I didn't weed out that part weight, body image etc as separate and distinct from the rest, i was to obey him and reach and maintain his expectations and standards no matter WHAT it was, if i failed to do so because of disobedience i was disciplined.  It was the dynamic not the individual demands of him or the individual wants of myself that caused me to succeed it was the dynamic and my focus on him and his expectations and standards he required of me.

I hope this explains more on where i am coming from.  I have a hard time deviating out things like weight loss or getting in shape from the way i am expected to greet him or demands he makes of me in other concepts because of his pleasure.  So i guess i was having a hard time understanding why so many were trying to take the concept OUT of the dynamic as a whole.  Maybe that is why i am having a hard time with what people are saying about how a specific topic should be addressed.  Why should it be addressed within the dynamic any differently than any other topic in your dynamic.  If you are willing to focus on him because you are a slave, accept his discipline, instruction, and expectations on other things, why all the big deal because its the weight or in shapeness of a slave or sub and suddenly she needs to find the wearwithall from within on this topic??

I am not asking people to LIVE this way or conduct their relationship this way, i am hoping people will realize SOME people do exist this way, which is a concept where their life is not self-focused that drives them to achieve.  This is why i believe when a woman needs and wants help from her Dom or Master or wants him to kick her ass into gear, i BELIEVE it is a way SOME people can achieve success, sure there are what ifs where the success can deteriorate, but why not exist in the achievability based on what you know of yourself -- i.e., you need someone to kick start your behind because you can't do it for yourself, and worry about the what if's IF they occur.  Its taken over 8 years for me to lose everything he achieved through his expectations and standards EIGHT years.  So many times, through repetition you DO learn to maintain, and it doesn't go away overnight, nor does the discipline he instilled but based in the person, many times it DOES go away because the person never HAD the self-discipline in the first place and more than likely never will.

angel

PS Can we leave the drama insighting words such as stating i jumped on someone simply because i strongly disagreed with her as she did with me out of it.  This is a good discussion, hopefully it will continue without the drama many threads fall to.


I understand your point, angel.  Master wants his slave to look/weigh/behave/whatever XYZ and slave does it.  That makes sense to me. I also agree that certain aspects of a slave's world would not be separated out from her slavery to him. What appears to be missing from your equation, however, is the emotions that may or may not be attached to any particular expectation.  I'm sure you would agree, slaves are not robots, and what might affect one's heart, spirit, state of mind, etc., can be pretty deep.

That said, many folks who struggle with weight have an emotional attachment to food.  A master can command all he wants for her to get in shape, but unless she can grasp, understand and own her emotions around it, unless she can embrace and utilize the tools available to her, she either will not loose the weight, or it will be a continual battle for her, and, consequently, wear down her self confidence.  This is, in my opinion, quite emotionally different than the protocols of how one would greet her master every day.  For some people, the emotions connected to weight issues are huge and sometimes even paralyzing.  Particularly because so many fail in their attempts to do so.

Because of this, as I said before, if her only motivating drive was an order from her master, she may very well go back to abusing food and gaining her weight back.  I didn't say anything about separating out one aspect of her life and calling it her own.  I did say there will be pieces to pick up should the master/dom - her only  motivating force - go away. 

You said this is not a valid concern.  I took issue with that, and that is why I posted.  Telling someone an emotion of theirs is not valid is something that I simply don't agree with.

As for "drama-insighting words", in reading your words about being self riteous and being self absorbed (apparently not drama-insighting words, lol), it felt like a jumping on, from my outside perspective, and since the conversation was posted publically, I wrote from the perspective in which I was affected.  I am not interested in drama.



Vendaval -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/11/2009 2:26:20 AM)

That is a lovely sentiment and story, thank you for sharing.  [:)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
Personally speaking, one of the most effective statements I have received, and it's from a dominant I am currently seeing, was said when I expressed concerned (before we met face to face) about being oversized and feeling unattractive as a result:  "You just enjoy being you, and love what's on the inside.  You have the rest of your life to change what you don't like on the outside."  So simple, and it hit home for me.  I joined WW a couple of weeks later and I'm 12 pounds down and counting...  And the dom?  He is not pushing me to go, but he celebrates the loss with me every time I weigh in. And when we cook together or for each other, he supports my food needs.  For me, this is more effective than the attempts at motivating me in the past, by others.



barelynangel -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/11/2009 5:27:48 AM)

Neuvavida,

Umm no, i did not leave anything out of my equation.   You need to go back and reread the very post you quoted because if you really don't get what my point was based on your post i never said anything about protocol or the superficial aspect of motions such as hey bitch do this -- yes Master.  I spoke of the DYNAMIC, which is a whole concept and mindset that deals with mastery of a woman by a Man.  You seem to think its a superficial concept of actions and not the whole lot more it actually is.  smiles, do you really have any clue what is entailed in a dynamic and the mindsets involved when someone greets their Master per their training and his mastery.  It goes far beyond the kneel and encompasses the whole of a woman's life within her Master's mastery of her.  

quote:

This is, in my opinion, quite emotionally different than the protocols of how one would greet her master every day.


This statement tells me you really don't get what is involved with regard to protocols and how they many times effect the emotions and the way the girl views the world around her.  Yeah i know about all you speak about, however, what you are missing is this -- The pleasure of the Master many times is a powerful thing.  His mastery is also a powerful thing.  And within the course of the dynamic which entails a whole lot more than "protocols of how one would greet her Master every day"  funny i don't remember stating protocols, i said if i believe in the quote YOU quoted -- HOW i greet my Master every day.  You presumed i was speaking of simply a protocol?  Perhaps this concept is why you completely missed what my post was about -- it wasn't simply about actions of my day, it was about the dynamic and HIS expectations and standards i was required to reach and maintain.  This is a concept of wholeness in the relationship,  you have done what i stated shouldn't be done, you have decided that weight loss should be separated out from the rest of what a slave is to her Master.  What i stated -- and not you really don't based on your post get what i was saying -- was the dynamic is a whole concept.  You don't separate out parts because you think somehow weight loss is special.  Its not.  If its part of his expectations and standards, then within the course of the dynamic because of his expectations and standards her focus on her Master many times will accomplish things she was incapable of doing on her own for whatever reason.  BUt what's more its incorporated the same way everything else in her relationship with him is -- as part of his expectations and standards she must reach and maintain and yes, if she fails based on her disobedience, she is disciplined just as everything else.  The main thing is his expectations and standards which are accomplished by the WHOLE of the dynamic and relationship  NOT the protocols or actions simply.

Sorry, to me weight loss doesn't need to be corralled out of the general relationship and treated special and coddled and the pat on the head, well when you are ready slave girl i will be right here to support you when you are ready.  Honestly, i would probably snort if my Master said that to me and i would simply keep remaining stagnant.  For some, sure it may work, for many women who ae slaves, they need many times the kick in the ass AND the expectations and standards to achieve what they won't or can't do on their own. 

As i said, there are SOME women (which is what i have always said) who the "valid" concern would be more harm than simply understanding that the external drive and motivation of focusing on her Master or Dom is what will obtain her success for if these women sit around twiddling their thumbs waiting for it to happen from within -- which many women know if it will or won't -- they are simply wasting time they could be accomplishing their goals.  


angel



Lashra -> RE: have You ever helped a sub with weight loss? (3/11/2009 5:46:38 AM)

I have found that if a person, regardless of which side of the kneel they are on, if they want to do it for their OWN health (physical as well as mental) that they will do it. When people do it for another person or just so they can fit into that short skirt it usually does not last long.

Love yourself enough to allow yourself to be healthy and if you need the extra incentive of doing it for whatever reason (insert Dom, Domme, Daddy, new skirt, play) then utilize that strength as well. Because it does take a lot of inner strength to loose weight that is why there are so many support groups out there.

Taking off weight is not an easy thing and many people who are not over weight seem to think that it is. Everyone has a different metabolism and what might work for one person will not work for another. Cut back on your eating, leave the junk food alone, ditch the fast food and experiment with some healthy alternatives. Throw in some exercise and drink lots of water. In time the weight will start to come off, but it is a slow process.

Good luck,
~Lashra



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125