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The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 11:34:45 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I think most of us have seen the safety rules before.  Meet in a public place, don't play the first time, arrange a safe call.... etc.

We were having a conversation with another couple last night when m'Lord mentioned that one should never engage in bondage until time has been spent getting to know each other.  I had to shoot him a look because he tied me up on our second meeting (though he maintains that we had so much communication that the number of meetings don't count)

Also, though we did meet in a public place, he drove 2.5 hours to meet me and had retained a hotel room for the night and it was understood that if we connected in that meeting that I would end up in said hotel room.  That was almost 2 years ago.

What other stories do people have about breaking the rules and living to tell the (sometimes fantastic) tale

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 11:38:41 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... I break all the rules!  I put most through so much hell before I will meet with them, that by that time, I know they will either kill me or are really all they say. lol  Shit... can't go into anything, tornado warning... wth... I am not ready for this shit!

These ass holes... they presented it like a real warning... sirens and all... then at the very end said it was a test.  They used to say that at the start!  Not good for my ol lady heart!

Okay... I have never gone by the rules.  I won't tie anyone up right away... not for a while, but that is a personal thing and building on more trust.  I might tie a part of them up... but they can always get free.  I will even meet people in my home and not a public place becasue I don't meet right away.  I feel safer at home as well.  This is my domain... I know everything around me, I know every weapon or tool at hand and where it is and how to use it.  I also have people who know someone is coming over and have people around whether anyone one knows it or not.

Could something bad happen? Yes.. but most the bad stuff that has happened to me.. happened in a situation where I was not in a place I knew or could control things and wasn't set up by me.  I have never met anyone in person from online that was a problem for me.  I think my screening test rules out the bad guys.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 3/10/2009 11:46:34 AM >

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 11:44:56 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I've broken most of them at one point or another...more than a few times. The stories are a bit hairy and I've been in some scrapes but it's all made for some interesting experiences to look back on....lol

agirl

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 11:58:28 AM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		i broke every rule in the book, followed my gut rather than my head and have been with Andy for 6 years from doing so!

We had a lot of pre meeting communication, to the extent i was even talking to his neighbours before we had set eyes on each other, had sent things in the post so we knew addresses were valid, all of that.

On my first meeting i got into a cab with him instead of going to a local cafe in the town centre, sailed off to who knows where, and was tied to the bed after an hours or so.

Yes, i talked to the person i had arranged an ad hoc safety call with, somewhat later than arranged, but it was hardly something designed to keep me safe, just someone who knew where i was in case i went missing for days on end.

But then, things would have progressed differently if i hadn't felt such a connection from the start, and i would have held back with conviction, if a meeting were even on the cards. Strange, because there had been others i was more careful with, stuck to some of the rules, where my gut feeling wasn't good, and where i think i was saved by the combination of head and heart working in tandem.



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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:01:19 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		A dude from this site and I drove to about half way to met for dinner at a family restaurant off the Interstate.
He brought his bag of goodies (he didn't tell me he would) and I brought my overnight bag (doesn't include change of clothing, since I assumed they'd probably be coming off).
 
He decided on which hotel might be the cheapest since he had a choice of about 4 at the particular exit as I skipped on over to my car.
 
Much to my embarrassment (for families in the parking lot) my short skirt fell completely to the ground as I skipped.  He got a sneek preview.
 
                    
 
Edited to add ~~  never discussed safe word and I never told anyone where I was.  I did met him again.


< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 3/10/2009 12:03:38 PM >

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:02:01 PM   
cbaby


Posts: 103
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		rules don't always keep us safe.....they may lessen the risks, but they don't eliminate them........my first ever play session Oct 30/06 (yes i got pics, but they are mine alone)....met a Dom from online...we'd been talking off and on for a year or so...anyways he was passing through, we met for coffee and i went with him to another city (he was there on business)...i had a safe call, a cell, my own car, my call knew where i was staying and the room #........there was no bondage involved (unless a breast vice counts) but i did get a beating (bruising for about 3 weeks and didn't sit comfortable for about 3 days ( i knew what i was in for going in.....no surprises)..........was talking to another sub friend of mine (r/l 5 hrs away) she seen the pics and she lost her mind called it abuse and such/what abuse???)........she said.......you trusted him with your life.........i thought about it for a second and smiled........yes, i guess i did.....that is my story and i have absolutely no regrets :-) (life is too short for regrets)

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:14:54 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I have a lot of them. More than I care to write out here, I rarely listen to the advice and rules of the safety police. I met privatly, I played on the first date, if I so wished to, and I traveled sometimes long distances to meet them.

When I was meeting and or playing with others, who were not my partner, I always had them meet me at my families house, and if and the safety police types were always horrified, because well that's just not safe. But in my opinion it's much safer than meeting in public, since here, at my home, people will see me leaving with you, will know what you look like, will know the make, model and color of your car, and they'll know where we were going. Unlike meeting in public, in a crowd of strangers.

I also had the protection of being able to scream for help, since my family was always near by in the house somewhere, and if something did go wrong, I wouldn't be helpless. Which it never did go wrong.


If I was to meet someone in public, nobody would notice a woman meeting a man, if you could even find any one to ask, it's very unlikely they'd say yeah he was 6 foot blond drove a white pick up truck, it was very beat up and it was a 1999 model.


Also if I was stood up I had nothing to loose, I was in my home comfy and doing what ever floated my boat until he showed up.

I also quite frequently approached strangers at play parties and said I was un escorted would you like to play, and had a blast.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG


What other stories do people have about breaking the rules and living to tell the (sometimes fantastic) tale


< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 3/10/2009 12:17:21 PM >

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:15:23 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		At the time I met m;Lord, I knew how I was wired and what kind of dynamic would work for me, I knew I fantasized about kink but I had no actual expereince and was honest with him about it so he brought a goody bag and we expirimented most of the night.  I gotta think it was as much fun for him as it was for me.

And some of us like the marks that linger, some don't.  Some are hypersensitive to abuse and others crave the sensations, c'est le vive (do I remember my french?)

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:21:49 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		My daddy is of the mind, I find out later, that if you leave any bruises or marks you did it wrong. He learned from the camp that to do it right you won't bruise her or mark her. So imagine my disappointment when I showed him a picture of my ass all red with tiny little cuts and bruises, from a scene I did while visiting NY* that I was very proud of* and he was mad at the top who did it to me. Said he crossed a line and to mark me was inappropriate, and that a spanking done right won't leave marks.
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG


And some of us like the marks that linger, some don't.  Some are hypersensitive to abuse and others crave the sensations, c'est le vive (do I remember my french?)


< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 3/10/2009 12:29:21 PM >

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:24:50 PM   
cbaby


Posts: 103
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		she called it abuse.......i say it's my party and everything was ok.........abuse is such a grey area and so open to interpretation.....no marks that i'd have to explain to a policeman if i got stopped.......life is good :) and i am too

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:25:43 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Your sig line quote by Harris pretty much sums up my attitude towards this 'rule.'

I met my ex-dominant of two years on CM.  We played on the second date.  I have met several very nice guys off of CM and when the chemistry was right, I played on the first date.  Once I had this absolutely amazing scene.  I was all kinds of melted submissive goo.  It had less to do with what he did and more to do with how he did.  But I definitely don't regret it.

Oh, I forgot.  My avatar pic was taken on a first date, lol.  That was a lot of fun.


< Message edited by junecleaver -- 3/10/2009 12:32:04 PM >

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:26:35 PM   
cbaby


Posts: 103
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline 		mind........a really good time (in response to what happened to you?)......is that a good answer *shrugs* works for me

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:32:52 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		If there are no morks then he didn't hit me hard enough.  I want welts that I can feel when I sit 3 days later.

Of course we can't pay that way often as I want my butt to remain sensitive.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:37:30 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

Your sig line quote by Harris pretty much sums up my attitude towards this 'rule.'

I met my ex-dominant of two years on CM.  We played on the second date.  I have met several very nice guys off of CM and when the chemistry was right, I played on the first date.  Once I had this absolutely amazing scene.  I was all kinds of melted submissive goo.  It had less to do with what he did and more to do with how he did.  But I definitely don't regret it.

Oh, I forgot.  My avatar pic was taken on a first date, lol.  That was a lot of fun.



You remind me of the thought process I have with even having sex on a first meet/date.  If I feel it, I'm going to do it.  If it turns into a one-night-stand I will be glad for the experience.  As I've told m;Lord, I am very glad that he did call after, but I would have cherished the night together too if that was all it turned out to be.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to junecleaver)
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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 12:45:22 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i have broken the "no meeting [strange] men without Daddy's permission" and "no sex on the first date" rules when i met my pet nearly 3yrs ago on New Year's Eve. we met here and exchange messages for a couple of days before he suggested meeting for Sunday brunch. yep i was being naughty that day.

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 2:37:35 PM   
MissLaura1973


Posts: 161
Joined: 11/11/2008
Status: offline 		I used to teach basic BDSM protocol and safety, endlessly repeating over and over the stupid things that we can do that can end up very badly. And I have a submissive friend who ignored the basic safety rules and ended-up in an emergency room.

But yes, I have broken most of the safety rules, at one time or another - not proud of it, not ashamed of it, just a fact. Though in retrospect I do find myself wondering why I'll break the rules in one situation and not in another.


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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 2:41:02 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I've yet to ever follow the "rules".

I've fucked on first dates, met strangers in places no person would probably ever want to think about, never had a safecall, never used safewords or any of the other stuff you hear about.

I don't see how it's any different than going to a bar or nightclub and hooking up with someone for the night.


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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 2:48:50 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		When I first moved to oklahoma for grad school I had been talking with someone pretty seriously from this site. We had plans to meet and when I got down there we couldn't find a mutual time or place eventually we decided on meeting at my apartment. I didn't have any intention of playing not immediately, but I had been talking with him for months before I moved down there. We did all the necessary checks on one another. When he was on his way to my apartment he called me with his instructions on how I was to greet him. We played the minute he walked through the door. He was most evil yet caring protective man I have ever met. He was great. We still talk to this day now that he has moved and I have moved. I didn't have a safe call no one knew he was coming to my apartment. I threw every single rule out the window.

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 2:49:05 PM   
MoGa


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline 		If I have a safe call in place, that safe call will be sitting at the next table from us, not across town. That being said, I broke my own rule when I flew out to meet Geoff for the first time. We had been friends for months prior to going any further, so I felt extremely comfortable with meeting him on his own turf. I have no regrets.
 
MoGa

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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 2:50:42 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG


What other stories do people have about breaking the rules and living to tell the (sometimes fantastic) tale

There isn't a rule book for life. If there is I don't know where to buy it.


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