RE: The rules....ooops

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: The rules....ooops

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: The rules....ooops

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 3:02:47 PM

sparkyRBF

Posts: 157
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

I didn't meet Master from online. I found him the old fashioned way. I picked him up in a bar for a one night stand.

So yes, i broke all the rules, I was so drunk and unaware of my surroundings i wasn't even sure if i was in the same town when i woke up the next morning.   I'm just lucky Master wasn't a Ted Bundy.

I don't condone this, or suggest anyone to try it this way but i know i certainly can't pass judgement on those who didn't follow the rules because i didn't either.

I've been in situations where i suddenly felt very uncomfortable, can't put a finger on exactly what made me uncomfortable, a tone of voice, a gesture, a suggestion, i don't know, but i do know that when i feel that way it's time to go.   And i think it's important to trust that.

_____________________________

sparkyRBF
Happily owned slave
of
RedBotttomFarms

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 21

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 3:09:40 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

People will line up to tell you how they broke every safety rule in the book and lived to tell about it and even prospered from it. I am one of those. The same number of people will line up to tell you how they followed every single safety rule in the book and things still ended badly... if they lived to tell you about it. Such is life. There are no guarantees. We tend to tell newbies to err on the side of caution so that we don't have to feel guilty if they end up wearing a toe tag.

Lots people have probably missed out on glorious relationships and experiences because they have a prohibitively onerous list of safety rules they follow (that scares off most partners) and there are probably many who have been spared bad experiences for the same reason.

< Message edited by Evility -- 3/10/2009 3:10:43 PM >

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 22

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 3:13:09 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

The first time I met my Owner I flew to Atlanta, checked into his hotel room and fell asleep in a chair while he was still in a business meeting. I woke up to him standing over me, hadn't told a soul where I was going and didn't know his home address.

10 years later and I still belong to him!

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 23

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 3:16:30 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Hehehe, I met my first dom that way. He couldn't get off work right away to meet me, so I flew in got a cab and waited to meet him in his hotel room. Only I wasn't asleep I was on the phone with my mom when he unlocked the door, so I said he's here mom I have to go.

We're not together any more, but that's cause of some seriously poor choices in behavior on my part Not anything to do with him being pycho or dangerous or any worry like that..

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

The first time I met my Owner I flew to Atlanta, checked into his hotel room and fell asleep in a chair while he was still in a business meeting. I woke up to him standing over me, hadn't told a soul where I was going and didn't know his home address.

10 years later and I still belong to him!

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 24

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 3:18:19 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

I've broken the rules and had it turned out great.

Broke the rules once and ended up raped in my own home....

My best rule now is to trust my instinct, if something feels funny, get away, if it feels right, go with it.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 25

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 5:00:51 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

My daddy is of the mind, I find out later, that if you leave any bruises or marks you did it wrong. He learned from the camp that to do it right you won't bruise her or mark her. So imagine my disappointment when I showed him a picture of my ass all red with tiny little cuts and bruises, from a scene I did while visiting NY* that I was very proud of* and he was mad at the top who did it to me. Said he crossed a line and to mark me was inappropriate, and that a spanking done right won't leave marks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

And some of us like the marks that linger, some don't. Some are hypersensitive to abuse and others crave the sensations, c'est le vive (do I remember my french?)

A prime example of differing opinions on the subject. I personally love lingering marks, bruises, etc. MasterK loves seeing the lingering marks that he has put on me. Unfortunately, my ass rarely bruises anymore, so the only bruises I seem to end up with are bite marks. (Which I had to explain to my new OB/GYN last year before I got nekked.)

Back to the question in the OP, I have broken all the rules frequently. I was in a strange city when I met MasterK, after we talked a bit at Grand Central Station, we headed to my hotel to play. This was after only about 2 weeks conversing online. No safe call, no-one knew where I was, sex on the first meet, the works (well, no bondage, but I probably would have gone for that as well

). I have always followed my instincts, and they haven't failed me yet.

< Message edited by whiteslavebitch -- 3/10/2009 5:08:12 PM >

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 26

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 5:05:14 PM

sugarpixi

Posts: 25
Joined: 3/10/2009
From: Fredericksburg, VA
Status: offline

Ever since I started having what people typically call a sex life, I've been a huge fan of lingering marks.
It's like a little present every time you see them!
:)

_____________________________

-Pixi

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

Post #: 27

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 5:09:12 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I've never had a chance to be marked again, not because I don't bruise, but because I haven't played hard enough but I love marks too. It's really nice to be able to look at them and cherish them days after play. It's also like a badge of honor sometimes, Which is why it was so disappointing that he reacted so negatively to my marks, which I was so proud of.

quote:

ORIGINAL: whiteslavebitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

My daddy is of the mind, I find out later, that if you leave any bruises or marks you did it wrong. He learned from the camp that to do it right you won't bruise her or mark her. So imagine my disappointment when I showed him a picture of my ass all red with tiny little cuts and bruises, from a scene I did while visiting NY* that I was very proud of* and he was mad at the top who did it to me. Said he crossed a line and to mark me was inappropriate, and that a spanking done right won't leave marks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

And some of us like the marks that linger, some don't. Some are hypersensitive to abuse and others crave the sensations, c'est le vive (do I remember my french?)

A prime example of differing opinions on the subject. I personally love lingering marks, bruises, etc. MasterK loves seeing the lingering marks that he has put on me. Unfortunately, my ass rarely bruises anymore, so the only bruises I seem to end up with are bite marks. (Which I had to explain to my new OB/GYN last year before I got nekked.)

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

Post #: 28

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 5:14:33 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

I have repeatedly expressed my disappointment to MasterK about the lack of marks from his flogger, he always promises to try harder to give them to me

to no avail

. I seem to get only the mildest of pinprick sized bruises anymore.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 29

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 6:00:13 PM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

I don't use safe calls, and I often play on the first date - occasionally without meeting in public first. I've met men whose faces I'd never seen pictures of, and played with those whose real names I'd never asked for.

On the other hand, I've also had men give me their home addresses without meeting me first, get into my car without talking to me face-to-face for more than ten seconds, and let me tie them up or handcuff them on first dates. I'm not the only one who isn't careful.

_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 30

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 6:00:43 PM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

While I am always warning others to have a safe call, don't play the first time you meet, meet in public, etc. I have basically never followed them myself. I have traveled long distances to meet people that I only knew online, played the first meeting, had sex the first meeting, no one knew where I was or who I was meeting. Of course I have always justified this as sadistic serial killers or rapists don't pose as malesubs/slaves and so far I have been correct. The only one I had never broke was bringing someone I didn't know to my home, but that was really because I had children at the time not because I am prone to keep the rules.

I have had some good times and have some good memories. I really don't do it to any degree anymore. I don't think it is because I have gotten wiser as I have grown older, but more that casual play with virtual strangers doesn't hold the interest it use to.

I have on the other hand gotten quite irritated at malesubs that want me to tie them up the first time we meet/play. A few times my sadistic side has taken over and I have tied them very convincingly explained exactly what I could do to them and how they could do a thing to stop me since they had me tie them down. But since I am only interested in consensual scenes I didn't do any of the things I could have done if I wasn't such a sweet sadist...LOL

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

Post #: 31

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 6:45:39 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

What other stories do people have about breaking the rules and living to tell the (sometimes fantastic) tale

What rules?

< Message edited by TreasureKY -- 3/10/2009 6:46:24 PM >

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 32

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 7:10:38 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

Met my first Dom/husband, spent the next 3 days with Him before He left to go out of town for a week for work. We were together until the day He died. I never once thought about rules then.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 33

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 7:31:31 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

Not directed at anyone in particular, but this thread makes me very angry.

The thought of the lecherous things men do make my blood boil. I start to ball my hands into fists, and my flight reflex turns to fight. If the lot of you who so daintily disregard social mechanics designed for your safety were my pets... You'd be licking blood off the flogger.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 34

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 7:38:15 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

People will line up to tell you how they broke every safety rule in the book and lived to tell about it and even prospered from it. I am one of those. The same number of people will line up to tell you how they followed every single safety rule in the book and things still ended badly... if they lived to tell you about it. Such is life. There are no guarantees. We tend to tell newbies to err on the side of caution so that we don't have to feel guilty if they end up wearing a toe tag.

Lots people have probably missed out on glorious relationships and experiences because they have a prohibitively onerous list of safety rules they follow (that scares off most partners) and there are probably many who have been spared bad experiences for the same reason.

It Tickles when you lick my Brain.

This is EXACTLY how I feel as if the words flowed from my own fingertips.

People are too caught up with this fear that the next person who hurts them is going to end them for all time.

I've had some seriously fucked up shit happen to me. I've been stranded and I've been robbed but you know what I wouldn't change what happened for the life of me because each and every event taught me somthing that I would not have known otherwise. That all being said it is important to remember to learn from history otherwise you will repeat it.

I will meet anyone anywhere, Today I know how to protect myself, and I never get involved with anything that doesn't have an exit strategy.

Thank You Evility I am happy to know I am not alone in that regard.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 35

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 7:40:27 PM

hotandlonelynFTW

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/19/2008
Status: offline

i have been meeting "strangers" (if thats what you want to call them) for just over a year now on and off and up until about a month ago didnt even know these rules existed. i think everyone i have ever met with, we have played on the first meeting. In july of last year we (my ex bf and i) set up a meeting with a guy we had been talking to for about a month or 2. Things went great, we met at the hotel i had picked out, went for dinner(we all rode in one car b/c he had drove in from out of town and didnt know his way around) went back to the hotel, stripped and within an hr were playing. At the time i couldnt even tell you what the letters B D S M stood for let alone say i was into it. he opened a toy bag and pulled out clothes pins and rope and all kinds of neat stuff i had never seen b4. a week later i drove an hr to meet him at his house where i was tied up and flogged for the first time..was so amazing. met several moor times aand here i am 6 months later living in his house with his collar and calling him Daddy. in the 8 months i have been playing with Daddy, i have learned so much and have found my true nature that i didnt even know existed. funny thinking about the rules b/c it was this past weekend we first picked out a safe word for me...

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 36

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 7:41:13 PM

apiercedkitty

Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline

i prefer to trust my instincts rather than a whole list of rules. i've met and played for the first time (and, on a couple of occasions, only time) at the Dom's house. For me, it's all about the vibes. Hopefully, my instincts will never fail me - but a list of rules isn't fool proof either.

< Message edited by apiercedkitty -- 3/10/2009 7:57:17 PM >

_____________________________

normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 37

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 7:50:24 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

Kitty,

I completely understand and agree that instincts and natural vibrating chemistry is what needs to be heeded first and foremost. I just feel that those are not impeded by making sure someone knows where you'll be, and to worry if you don't call.

Most people are good. And the bad people can lie. I know its a pipe dream, but I want everyone to be safe. It's not a safe world, though. Terrible people will do terrible things. You'll have to excuse me, I'm in a weird mood - just got back from seeing Watchmen.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to apiercedkitty)

Post #: 38

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 7:52:10 PM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

I was driving home from a play party in Detroit Michigan and thought I knew my way back. I ended up in the ghetto downtown area having to pee very badly. I saw a dumpster in this alley ( this is around 3am), and begin to relieve myself, and right in midstream comes the garbage truck lifting up the dumpster. I believe he was surprised to see me squatting there. When I finished, with the truck headlights lighting up the alley, I saw a bum about 10 from me sitting and enjoying the view. Rule #1-always pee before traveling in an unknown area.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 39

RE: The rules....ooops - 3/10/2009 7:59:46 PM

BadJezebel

Posts: 138
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline

great story... what a red herring!

(in reply to subangi)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: The rules....ooops

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109