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RE: The rules....ooops - 3/11/2009 5:28:01 PM

catize

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz
Safecalls are only useless when people don't use them correctly. No shit, you do not tell your teenie petete girlfriend where you are going. She is not a good safecall, sorry. Like piercedkitties friend... gave a 'safecall'... didn't tell her what to do if something happened, it's borderline useless.
I refuse to get hurt if I can prevent it, so I don't act like a dumbass. When I meet people, C, or another male friend of mine, knows exactly where I am, who I'm with, and what to do if I don't answer my calls... and I *always* answer my calls. It'd be rude to set up a safe call and then ignore it.
Many people I've seen act too good to use the safecall system... but it's not my fault if they've been using it wrong. So yes... I've made my mistakes, paid for them, and I've since then set up my own system to keep it from happening again.
If it gets your rocks off to run off to seedy motels, get shitfaced, and let a stranger tie you up, go for it! Just don't cry to me when it goes wrong.

I agree it is a matter of minimizing the risk(s). Just like getting in a car and wearing your seatbelt. There are probably a lot of people who would not wear them if it wasn’t a law. Seatbelts, motorcycle helmets, etc. are not a guarantee, but they do create a wider margin of safety!
So a lot of us (myself included) have gambled and won because it turned out well. I don’t think that excuses us from remembering that there are those who aren’t here sharing their broken rule story because they didn’t “live to tell the tale.”

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RE: The rules....ooops - 4/12/2009 1:48:05 AM

cbaby

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sure there is a rule book for life........you make it up as you go

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"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?”.....Alice - Alice in Wonderland

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RE: The rules....ooops - 4/12/2009 5:55:07 AM

Calandra

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Joined: 11/22/2004
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I met My cubby nine years ago on IRC chat at bondage... two weeks later he stepped off a greyhound bus and never went home... sometimes your instincts are just SCREAMING that this is the right person...

There is definitely a different tone to your hormones screaming, by the way. This wasn't sexual, or co-dependent... it was that once we found each other, neither of us could imagine life without the other... I love him more today that I did yesterday or last week... funny how life works sometimes.

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RE: The rules....ooops - 4/12/2009 6:04:05 AM

crazyredhead1957

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Joined: 12/10/2008
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Well, it was my first ever experience on October 24, 2008. W/we had met on another kink site and written but a few letters and made two phone calls back and forth. i did have a safe call set up, my own cell, and my own car. i drove 1.5 hours and we met at His place, and He handcuffed me and tied me up, among a lot of other things. It lasted for four hours plus the aftercare. Yes, i hit subspace and it was a most incredible experience. He was truly amazing at everything He did.

No, He did not abuse me.....He threw everything i could take at me and nothing more. He knew it was my first ever experience and He is the one Who told me about safewords. my breasts looked like they'd been hit by a truck for a week and a half after, but i will never forget it. ~huge smiles~ my friends told me how stupid i was to not meet in a public place and how lucky i was that i was not raped or dead, but that experience is was got me hooked on BDSM for the rest of my life.

i have been raped and beaten, but that was in my own home and had nothing to do with BDSM, it was when i was still vanilla and it woke me up from a sound sleep.

< Message edited by crazyredhead1957 -- 4/12/2009 6:11:20 AM >

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RE: The rules....ooops - 4/12/2009 6:07:20 AM

KyttynTheMynx

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From: Moosecrotch, Va
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I totally broke the rules. I jumped a train, went a few hundred miles away to spend almost a week with someone that I had only talked to a few months online. He showed to the train station, despite what I freaked out about, we fell even harder for each other, and we never looked back. <3

Yea, it wasnt a smart thing to do, but something just said go with instinct, this is right...

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The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

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RE: The rules....ooops - 4/12/2009 6:13:44 AM

scottishdove

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i met my first Master and first real-time experience at his place, but i did let my ex-spouse know where i was going as a practical measure. and i knew my soon-to-be Master's real name and address. and we connected instantly, and did play that first time. but i am pretty confident in my pre-screening measures.

for one thing a need for anonymity doesn't impress me. if a Dom doesn't want to reveal his real name, address and personal information fairly soon after we begin correspondence, his credibily diminishes rapidly with me. i credit this policy of mine, which i developed gradually after noticing how some Dom's showed trust by giving me that information fairly quickly, with why i have never had a negative in person experience.

i also noted that Dom's who withheld contact information and personal information, even after lengthy correspondence, tended to be more manipulative and selfish, and i found most of those ended up being negative experiences online no matter how exciting and positive the first impressions.

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RE: The rules....ooops - 4/12/2009 8:29:44 AM

IrishMist

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~Fast and general reply~

While on a personal level, I don't hold with many of the so called safety rules that are passed around; I do go out of my way to stress safety to those who ask me about it. The one thing that I always stress the most, and as being the absolute most important, is to trust your own instincts. If something feels wrong, if something sounds wrong ( or in some cases, too good to be true )...then chances are, IT IS WRONG. Always follow your gut instincts, they are the best alarm system you will ever have.

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RE: The rules....ooops - 4/12/2009 9:49:06 AM

kristileigh

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Master contacted me via an email and that was on a Sunday, He said He was going to be in my area for 3 days starting on Monday night. i met with Him and actually stayed in the same hotel as Him....... and the rest is history........collared and wearing a tattoo with His mark and also wearing His wedding rings now.
Ooops i guess someone forgot to show me the rule book also.

Seriously though i had met with a few Doms(in public places) and some, due to gut instincts didn't seem safe to me.

slave kristi

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Master Chris!

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RE: The rules....ooops - 4/12/2009 12:27:08 PM

crazyredhead1957

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HeavansKeeper, re: Your post of page 2 of this thread.....i agree with You that it was very stupid of me to "so daintily disregard social mechanics designed for your safety," and it was very ignorant. i did it only once, though, as my friends did tell me i was very lucky to not be dead and i was terrified at what i had done and took it to heart. They really tore me a new *sshole for what i'd done. It doesn't excuse my stupidity and immediately afterward i realized that. Thank You for putting this sort of recklessness in perspective for U/us all. ~lowering my eyes in shame, guilt, and regret~

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