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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/21/2009 4:54:09 PM

ThomasMore

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The ones where the Shriners show up.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/21/2009 10:15:05 PM

kidwithknife

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The idea that BDSM has to be taken very seriously at all times and anybody who has a sense of humour about it isn't doing it right.

People who insist on throwing their relationship protocols at everyone in the room. I don't care about your relationship.

Slashspeak. Decapitalisation. And anything else that means I have to put even a little bit more effort into understanding you. (Y/you are not ee cummings cheers)

People who are incapable of holding a conversation about anything other than BDSM.

The idea that being a BDSMer makes you more interesting than the 'vanillas'. The idea that BDSM is a substitute for a personality as opposed to part of one.

People who chainsmoke at events but never bring their own cigs and constantly steal mine. Actually. Person. Singular.

Any concept that the fact somebody is into BDSM automatically means I have to be their friend.

Too many people wearing leather at events which are far too hot. Stale sweat is not my kink.

References to the "Book of Revelations". There's no 's'. It's the "Book of Revelation". As revealed to Saint John the Divine. (I suspect I might be an awfully petty person at times).

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/23/2009 6:57:09 AM

GotSteel

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People who just don't get that their kink isn't your kink. For instance when I say I have no interest in knife play or the thought of it makes me vomit that ISN'T the time to give me a spiel on the joys of knife play and show me your girlfriends breast scars.

OK this second one is something I'm more just baffled by: cross dressers who are really bad at it. Maybe I just don't understand the appeal/point or whatever but when I see a guy with makeup so over applied that he could pass for a clown stumbling around in high heels wearing a tutu, I just have to wonder if he's ever actually seen a woman before.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/23/2009 7:40:09 AM

feydeplume

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quote:

OK this second one is something I'm more just baffled by: cross dressers who are really bad at it. Maybe I just don't understand the appeal/point or whatever but when I see a guy with makeup so over applied that he could pass for a clown stumbling around in high heels wearing a tutu, I just have to wonder if he's ever actually seen a woman before.

I once had to ask. The outfit was so bad, the make-up so overdone and bizarre, the shoes so wrong. I just had to ask. I found out that it wasn't crossdressing in his case, it was dressing as a clown. He spend like 20 minutes helping me understand that there is a whole group who are sexually/mentally interested in being a clown and that it has nothing to do with humiliation but comes from somewhere else. I was fascinated and now I wonder even more when i see a crossdresser that doesnt look "the look". I wonder if it is the clown thing, lack of practice, or something new or different i haven't heard of yet.

BTW for some crossdressing REALLY badly IS the kink, it is public humiliation and a kind of come on for someone to come help them be a better woman. And some of them just haven't worked out make up yet. It is harder than you think.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/23/2009 8:17:06 AM

stella41b

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The concept that people who can't find stable partners are somehow dysfunctional and need to see 'kink friendly therapists'.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/23/2009 10:33:38 PM

Vanityfull

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FOOD! whip cream, cherries, anything i find the idea of food and sex taboo, its weird i know, but i cant deal with it, its just so gross.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/23/2009 10:39:48 PM

Lordandmaster

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I/i R/really D/dislike T/the S/slashy S/stuff

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/23/2009 10:56:03 PM

Vanityfull

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T/the S/slashy S/stuff I/is A/annoying, B/but I/i W/wanna L/look C/cool T/tho...

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/24/2009 4:08:38 AM

Nairod

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And lo, the pilgrim came to a valley wherein there were many hills and there stood upon one hill many people dressed in leather, their bodies marked with tattoos and pierced with iron rings. And they said “Let this high ground be called the moral high ground, for we worship the god Lifestyle and ours is the true way”. And they looked down upon the ignorant multitude below.

And the pilgrim looked and saw another hill and upon this hill stood many people who smiled one at another, greeting each other saying “Hi how are you this morning”. And the hill was called Clique and strangers could not come to it.

Then saw the pilgrim another hill and the people on it were burdened with many scrolls and upon their robes were signs. And the pilgrim saw that they were preparers of food, for the sign was of four brown spatulas. And they looked down from their high place upon the crowds beneath saying “You are newbies and know not of what you speak; we have written many thousands of scrolls and are thus wise among other men”. And the pilgrim looked at his ice cream in shame.

And behold, among the multitude there came much wailing and gnashing of teeth and the pilgrim looked and saw one of surpassing tallness moving among the sinners; and it was a lady. And, as she passed, the crowd fell away, turning their faces from her as if she bore the sign of the beast upon her and they were sore afraid. And lo, when she came upon a miserable sinner whose words displeased her she struck them with her staff and they became dust. And the pilgrim saw her face and upon her forehead there was a sign; and the sign was “XI”.

Then thought the pilgrim “I do not seek to toil up the mountainside to the moral high ground, nor shall I seek to come to the place called Clique and I will not strive to write many scrolls; neither will I fear the marked lady, for her ways are just”. And turning his face away from these false idols he walked peacefully in the valley, searching for enlightenment. And the pilgrim’s name was Mostofus.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/24/2009 9:27:40 AM

Lordandmaster

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That's pretty clever.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/24/2009 9:41:06 AM

Lynnxz

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It's brilliant! I love it.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/24/2009 11:37:50 AM

RedMagic1

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I have 2400 posts, and I'm a vegetarian who doesn't own leather. I did have a leather master tell me a few months ago that I "might be leather and not know it." I think that was a compliment.

In any case, that kind of attitude is something I'd like to point out as a positive: underlying motivations and results are more important than conventions. The BDSM "convention" that bugs me the most is people who get hung up on the importance of the convention, and blind themselves to the reality of human interconnection.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/24/2009 11:47:09 AM

Vanityfull

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

The BDSM "convention" that bugs me the most is people who get hung up on the importance of the convention, and blind themselves to the reality of human interconnection.

its like startrek all over again, i fear history is doomed to repeat itself..

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/24/2009 8:00:10 PM

Andalusite

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I dislike s/Slashy S/speak and Weird Capitalisation of Pronouns. Third-person-speak tends to remind me of Bob Dole.

I was born and raise in California, and was taught to call people "sir" or "ma'am" if I don't know their name, and "Mr./Miss/Mrs. So-and-so" if they were an adult who I did know. I don't mind calling people by honourifics, but they about as meaningless to me as using them at Renaissance Faire or other such places, unless it is in the context of a relationship. I do think that the "Master so-and-so" usage is particularly amusing,as in etiquette, "Master" is used to address someone who is too young to be a "Mister."

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/25/2009 1:01:33 AM

Blackwolf9

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quote:

y profile says that I am a submissive male. I am always respectful when talking to people here (regardless of their profiles say they dominant or submissive). I always try to be a little formal when I send a message to someone for the first time. Unfortunately, some people get the wrong idea, and they think that I am being submissive to them, rather than just respectful... and this leads to them trying to "dominate" me through the e-mail or chat, when I am only interested in having a normal conversation and get to know them to see if we are a good match. When I don't go along with what they are trying to do, they think I am being disrespectful. Well, just because my profile says I am submissive, it doesn't mean I will be your submissive... and I don't do that online anyway.

A normal conversation in English is not that difficult, and being either a dominant or a submissive to someone else is something that is earned.

I agree entirely. When I first started looking for a Domme, some of the outragous demands or statements that I got from Dommes during first contact made me rethink if I could even deal with this lifestyle. Luckily I didn't have to look too long before I found my Master and I haven't had to look since. As far as titles and honorifics, I don't mind calling people Sir or Ma'am, though I wasn't raised that way...but the only person I'm calling Master is the man that owns me. Do do otherwise seems like it would be an insult to Him. The ego tripping, over the top, domineering Domme's are definely a turn off for me. I don't feel like being sexually submissive makes me less of a person, and anyone who thinks they can treat me poorly just because my title says sub or switch is mistaken.

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/25/2009 1:23:24 AM

Blackwolf9

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

P/people not B/bothering to read p/p/p/p/profiles.

ARRRGGG Thats a big pet peeve for me to. If a person was really that interested in getting to know me for friend or otherwise, at LEAST glance through my profile before sending off an e-mail!

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/25/2009 2:51:46 AM

subharlequin

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for me ..its switches....sorry no offence..i just dont believe in them ..unless ofcourse they come from a weeping willow.
Ma'am is a title for lil' ole ladies who are living out the last of their years watching their grand and great gand children grow...
being approached by subs who want me to Domme them....umm ..ello..is sub myself and my name and profile says as much....
being made to feel stupid when asked for my opinion..it may not be what you wanted to hear..but if you are going to ask for my opinion..dont get pissy with me if you dont like it....
i may be submissive but i dont cow down to anyone but my Dom. period no ifs ands or buts....
its not disrespectful to verbally protect myself....i have a quick wit and a sharp tongue and im not afraid to use it....

< Message edited by subharlequin -- 3/25/2009 2:54:05 AM >

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/25/2009 3:39:07 AM

intenze

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little one, lil one, lil girl, when addressed to me. I am 52 years old and 5'9". I am neither little nor a girl. I am not sure why this galls me so, but it does.
C

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/25/2009 8:19:44 AM

Andalusite

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subharlequin, I'm curious what you mean about not believing in switches. Do you think I'm a figment of your imagination, or a fake, or lying, or what? I can understand you not wanting to play with switches, but lumping us in with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy seems to be going overboard a bit.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 3/25/2009 8:35:46 AM >

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RE: BDSM Conventions that turn you off... - 3/25/2009 11:44:44 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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