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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 9:18:27 AM

sirsholly

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Lockit...your courage leaves me speechless.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 9:22:01 AM

Lockit

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sirsholly.. sometimes it ain't courage.. it just is! lol Thank you!

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 9:29:59 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I never heard of this lady until her public dying... not a fan of reality TV! I admire her for working to take care of her kids. Hell, I would do whatever it took to make sure they were cared for by people of MY choosing, lived in a safe area, got to go to trade school or uni or whatever! Would Jade be able to do those things if she were to live? No one can say... At least she is doing what she can, while she can.

RIP Wendy Richards!

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 10:05:33 AM

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This is Jade when the UK got to know her

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 10:29:10 AM

Lockit

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Thank you Aneirin... I watched that one and a couple more... now it is time for a lil cry I think. So sad... (You are wicked... you can even make a mad domina cry... hehe)

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 10:34:16 AM

stella41b

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I think there's a slight misunderstanding here. I do not begrudge Jade Goody anything, in fact I admire her because, as far as I'm aware since her rise to fame on Big Brother she has done a lot for charity she has worked hard and it is sad that this is happening to her.. She took her opportunities and kudos to her, not just for what she has done but also for thinking about her children.

I have got nothing really against reality television and reality TV in itself does a lot of good in raising public awareness on a wide variety of social issues. I for one see the positives in reality TV.

Nor am I so egotistical as to decide who should get what publicity, I'm not in the media. Every death from cancer is a tragedy, irrespective of who dies.

My issue is what statement does this make of us as a society, and of our priorities, that we really need the media to bring to our attention in such a graphic manner that people are dying, suffering and living through such tragedies?

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 11:21:21 AM

LaTigresse

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I am not a fan of reality TV and had no clue who this woman was. I had to google her to find out.

The thing about death and dying, we've insulated ourselves from it. Made it something we dont' want to talk about. Hell, we don't even like saying the words like "She died". Instead we say "She passed on". Or "I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother" Instead of "I am so sorry your grandmother died". Not to mention the fact that hey, grandma was OLD! Best case scenario is that we get to grow old and yep......then we die!

That is best case scenario, the getting old part.

Even then, we have the body sent off to be made presentable so they look like they are just sleeping. So we can pretend for a few more minutes that they are not dead. Then we package that empty carcass into an overpriced box to protect it from rotting back into the earth. Which seems rediculous at best. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and all that.

Sadly, people die, every living thing dies. I am weird in that I don't see dying and death as a terrible thing. Sure, I've lost people I miss. But I didn't lose my memories of them or the special times we shared together. Grief really is a selfish thing. I think that is part of the reason we don't like to see it in others, and try to insulate ourselves from death. We are afraid to embrace the full scope of life and living, which also includes death and suffering.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 2:23:01 PM

susie

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LaT this made me think of the quote from the film This Happy Breed "she didn't pass on, pass over or pass away, she died"

I have noticed since my health problems how many of my friends can't bring themselves to discuss death with me. No point ignoring it as its going to happen.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 2:45:25 PM

LaTigresse

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Susie, I didn't know. I am sorry.

You've reminded me of one of the favourite people I've been lucky enough to have known in my life.

Twenty years ago when I met Generic Dude, and met his grandfather. I remember going home and thinking, that delightful, grumpy old man does not have much time left. He stuck with us another 17 years. But the thing that you reminded me of, was the conversations I remember having with him down in his man cave over his "double shooters" (mostly whiskey with a splash of water). He was a devout catholic, something I am most definitely not. Yet we would discuss all sorts of life issues, including religioun and as the years progressed, dying and death. He knew his days were short, and he wasn't afraid to discuss it. We could joke about dying, argue about our different beliefs of the dying and funeral issues, and laugh. I can still hear that gravely voice in that old world Czech accent......."Now LeeAnn....". Many other family members would get upset and call our conversations morbid and leave the room (something grandpa didn't mind at all...) because the topics were so unsettling and upsetting. He would just mutter about getting old and dying being a fact of life, no reason to avoid talking about it.

It made going to that funeral so much easier. Even though we had such vastly different points of view, we had been able to have such wonderful conversations about so many things. Things that most people with such divergent views would have never been able to discuss, certainly not so openly and without serious argument.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 4:15:03 PM

Prinsexx

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I have two main opinions on this each trying to assume priority.
The first opinion is that I absolutely could not care less. Jade came out of obscurity and poverty and she took a chance on stardom and celebrity status. It worked until it backfired because celebrity is no guard against prejudicial ignorance and I think that the British public saw through her thin facade. Jade was tried and found guilty by the best court in the british Isles: the press.
My opposing opinion is that her sad life has finally stood for something bigger than the loud mouthed trash that usually came out of her mouth. She still isn't special: everyone dies. It is just an illusion we all cling to that our deaths will be sanitized, pain free and dignified. Max Clifford had his own agenda for bringing her cancer to the forefront and I have always rather liked Max Clifford. he is a man of the people.
So: there's the karma. She had to die young.
Every life is precious. There's a karmic twist for all of us. And Jade got her's with vengeance.
As I am writing this there is an advert. for OK magazine and everyday I get a little more sick and tired of Jade. Millions die everyday from disease and above all from poverty. Those millions are nameless and faceless and leave nameless faceless multitudes of children alone and defenseless. It's a pity Max Clifford hasn't the time to take them all onto account.
It's a wonder that Ladbrokes doesn't take a bet on the actual day she's going to die. The odds are it will be Thursday at 2 o'clock in the afternoon: the time they put the weeklies to bed.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 4:26:23 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

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My adoration of you continues to grow, LaT. I've always hated the euphemisms. When my partner's mother died, we went to the funeral home & saw her in her casket & it didn't look like Alice. Because every morning, Alice would get up & paint on these reddish eyebrows & put no other makeup on. The funeral people didn't know that, I guess, because they made her up in this sort of clownish makeup with blush on her cheeks, but didn't put her eyebrows on. It made the whole thing sort of unreal for me.

Over the years, I have volunteered with dying people, some very close friends, some relatives, some complete strangers. I do it because I can & so many others cannot. When I was young, I ran from the reality of sickness & death. Then I stared it in the face & came to terms with it. Yes, I miss my loved ones who have died. Yes, I wish that we could sit down & talk again. Yes, I wish that my friend could have achieved our dream of growing old together & sitting in rocking chairs on the porch & reminiscing about our full lives. But death is a part of life & we don't all get to realize every dream that we have.

I have watched people take their last breaths & I have been privileged to prepare my loved ones for their final journey to the crematorium. People used to care for their dead loved ones in much the same manner: They would wash their bodies, oil them & dress them. It's an amazing thing to do, to be a part of. I hate that we have become so detached from death. We shun the dead & the dying. That is a sad thing I think.

I have no issue with this woman dying so publicly. It's not something that I would choose to watch if I had a tv to watch it on. But I can't say that I wouldn't do it that way. None of us really can. Because when death comes for us, we don't have a clue how we will be, how we will act; whether we will want to wait to be alone or surrounded by our loved ones. We can speculate now about how we think we will act, but we don't really have a clue.

< Message edited by LinnaeaBorealis -- 3/17/2009 4:31:55 PM >

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 6:04:28 PM

LaTigresse

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Linnae, thank you so much. Your's is a touching post and caused me to think.

While I spout off about being comfortable with the idea of death and dying, the hypocrisy is that I would love to be able to spare my own children in dealing with my own, when that time comes.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/17/2009 7:59:57 PM

LadyHibiscus

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~A small hijack.... Somewhere back there a lady said that UK girls were asking for pap smears now. WTF? Don't they get cancer screenings as part of their checkups?

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/18/2009 9:56:09 AM

RCdc

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Greetings LadyHibiscus

It isn't standard to get a regular yearly checkup in the UK. Women are recommended to have a smear once they become sexually active otherwise you get your first invite during mid twenties. If you go on the pill, you will be advised that you have one. Then you usually receive notification every three years to have one.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/22/2009 8:58:37 AM

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May Jade rest in peace now. So many people's lives have been touched by this courageous lady whose determination was admirable. I, for one, will remember her fondly, the tenacity with which she fought to provide for her children and the dignity she maintained in the face of adversity. She remained true to the person she was despite frequent criticisms. The legacy she has left will benefit so many young people as a result of the work she had undertaken to raise awareness nationwide. To have passed on Mother's Day is perhaps the most tragic end note.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/22/2009 11:53:44 AM

susie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

May Jade rest in peace now. So many people's lives have been touched by this courageous lady whose determination was admirable. I, for one, will remember her fondly, the tenacity with which she fought to provide for her children and the dignity she maintained in the face of adversity. She remained true to the person she was despite frequent criticisms. The legacy she has left will benefit so many young people as a result of the work she had undertaken to raise awareness nationwide. To have passed on Mother's Day is perhaps the most tragic end note.

Was she more courageous than any other woman with children suffering from cancer? I doubt it.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/22/2009 11:58:51 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Susie, I don't think that she was more or less courageous... but I do think that her willingness to die in public gave some hope to others in the same position, stuck in their houses with their suffering. Sometimes it's good to know that you are not the only person in that pit, and that knowledge brings relief. Also, there are so many people who have no fucking clue---and they need to see some reality along with their weetabix.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/22/2009 1:14:34 PM

Lockit

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I find it encouraging to see someone else facing death who is open about how they are getting through. Many may be suffering the same plight in life... facing a death that will come quickly and yet we don't see them or know of them. So when I see someone, I relate back to my own struggle. Could I smile like that... would I stomp on something, rip things from walls.. yell and try to make deals with a god I don't believe in? I know my strengths and I know how I have faced things... but when I get close to death... will I know it.. how will I act... will I be pissy becasue I am here alone... will I be proud, smiling through tears even and be dignified?

Because someone went public for whatever reasons, doesn't negate those that don't. It doesn't mean that that person or anyone else thinks of only them or that they are more important or anything else. It simply means that they are sharing the experience when other's wouldn't. I doubt anyone feels all that specail and would give it up in a heartbeat if they could only have one more year or health again.

What one does cannot take away from what other's do... Nor can what they don't do take away from what someone else does. Why is there a comparison? She went out her way and that is all I would ever expect people to allow me to do. If I have to go.. damn it.. I am going any way I feel is right for me and my loved ones and if others feel less special or feel I did wrong... so be it.. I am sorry.. but it is my life and death after all.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/22/2009 3:46:56 PM

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Why is there that air of competition for you, Susie. Other courageous people that have succumbed to cancer and other terminal illnesses are frequently noted in the news. Newspapers are a business like any other, they target a specific audience that the average 'joe' can identify with, that doesn't mean they are more newsworthy than the next person, but there's only so much room on the printed sheets. Wendy Richard was mentioned recently, a truly great actress whose work will be celebrated for many years to come. The greatest lady in my life to have succumbed to cancer was my own grandmother, for whom I have long paid tribute and the world is a sadder place for her absence. She wasn't newsworthy in the sense of being noted in the media, however, she was noted by our community.

The fact is, sad but true, that it has taken this lady succumbing to cancer for the powers that be to sit up and take notice, enough to consider reviewing the lowering of screening age for young sexually active women. What needs to happen now is to not let up pressure on the MPs and to keep pushing for a follow through with that review.

The problem with reading of death is that the news generally focuses on either truly great icons, or those whose lives were notorious. Thankfully, the media opted for a comfortable medium and celebrated Jade's life, and death. I just think it incredibly sad that instead of thinking how tragic it is that a young mother has died leaving two small children but that people are discussing whether it's newsworthy.

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RE: Jade 'says goodbyes to family' - 3/22/2009 3:56:22 PM

MissMorrigan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
I know my strengths and I know how I have faced things... but when I get close to death... will I know it.. how will I act... will I be pissy becasue I am here alone... will I be proud, smiling through tears even and be dignified?

I would like to say that I would remain dignified to the end, but the truth is, I likely won't. Death scares me but not in the sense that you'd think. I've seen so much of it over the years and people never cease to amaze me with their courage. I had a lump under my arm some years ago, I went into denial for the first few days but the lump became bigger to the point I could no longer ignore it. I expected the worst when I went to my G.P., and tests were run. It was the longest period of my life and I folded, crying at the injustice of it all at the thought of leaving my family. The most pitiful part of it all was what scared me the most was losing my composure. People in general have my utmost admiration and if I can draw strength from reading of others' experience I'll be a richer person for it whether they be someone in the media, my grandmother, a fellow forum poster or neighbour.

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