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RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/26/2009 3:37:43 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		FR

Amongst my friends and Lodge Brethren, there are some who, if their life depended on it, have the greatest difficulty in talking about a subject to a group of people and even on a one to one basis about personal matters. These folk certainly find it better and with far more clarity if they put their thoughts down on paper. There are times and especially when stressed I find it better to write my thoughts and ask Neets to read it and then we discuss the whole matter. It also gives one the chance to read what is written and edit for clarity as required, as well as placing the thoughts in a logical sequence.

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Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)
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RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/26/2009 5:46:16 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

you can't make someone talk about something if they aren't interested, either


This is true. 

I think I must have had very good fortune in that no one has shut me down to this point.  If I take the time to write something, with respect and clarity, I find that more often than not, I get a response - most times that leads to a good discussion.

~ Red





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RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/26/2009 6:12:48 PM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		i tend to find a well written email about my most disturbing sexual fantasy sparks a conversation or 6...depending on grammar and punctuation.

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RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/26/2009 6:21:39 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Darn it red!  You go and put thoughts in my head and next thing I know I am sitting and writing an intensive email dealing with heaven only knows how many things.  This was Tuesday.  There has been an exchange via email, text, and phone throughout yesterday.  Today, well, amazing things have happened!

I come on the boards to waste insane amounts of time that could be better used like actually having relationships and stuff.  How dare you make this a productive pursuit!  LOL

lovingpet

(in reply to persephonee)
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RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/26/2009 6:24:30 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

you can't make someone talk about something if they aren't interested, either


This is true. 

I think I must have had very good fortune in that no one has shut me down to this point.  If I take the time to write something, with respect and clarity, I find that more often than not, I get a response - most times that leads to a good discussion.


It isn't necessarily the thought of getting deliberately shut down.  Disinterest can be the death of communication.  Who wants to be pouring their heart out to someone who isn't paying any attention?

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 12:40:57 AM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		I love and adore the written word. Sometimes I write things as though I would send and then not as a way of gettting out what is inside. it helps me understand where I am at on something and can even evoke compassion for myself for my point of view that perhaps I am feeling no one agrees with or wants to hear.

I do think it is crap when I have written out some feelings and the response I get is either no response or leaves me feeling like they didnt get it, read it or care at all. I write about that hahaha to myself and feel better.

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RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 4:30:46 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I was too lazy to read the responses.
However, yes I feel that sometimes it's better to send a handwritten letter, I would never send it in an e-mail. I'd handwrite the letter and put it in the mailbox, or even have it sent by snail mail if needed. I don't feel that an e-mail makes it personal enough, it's different if you write it in your own handwriting.
I believe it's a sad evolution that people don't bother handwriting letters anymore because they can send it much more quickly by e-mail...but I guess that's just me.

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 5:04:02 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Disinterest can be the death of communication.  Who wants to be pouring their heart out to someone who isn't paying any attention?


I recently went through this and can't believe the amount of time I wasted talking to someone who was distracted with other things.  But is any outpouring of authenticity truly a waste?  I consider it his loss; not mine.


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RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 9:07:54 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Disinterest can be the death of communication.  Who wants to be pouring their heart out to someone who isn't paying any attention?


I recently went through this and can't believe the amount of time I wasted talking to someone who was distracted with other things.  But is any outpouring of authenticity truly a waste?  I consider it his loss; not mine.


True, Katy... it is his loss.  And I agree that there is always some personal benefit from introspection and sharing... whether or not there's anyone listening.  But it still urks to make the effort for someone else and end up with the time wasted.

The guy is a jerk and you're much better off without him. 

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 9:15:54 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

I was too lazy to read the responses.
However, yes I feel that sometimes it's better to send a handwritten letter, I would never send it in an e-mail. I'd handwrite the letter and put it in the mailbox, or even have it sent by snail mail if needed. I don't feel that an e-mail makes it personal enough, it's different if you write it in your own handwriting.
I believe it's a sad evolution that people don't bother handwriting letters anymore because they can send it much more quickly by e-mail...but I guess that's just me.



If I tried to write you a hand written letter..........more than likely, you would not have a clue what it said. My brain works faster than my hand can write it out in a  legible manner. Sometimes even I, cannot even read what I've written. Something I've typed, whether printed out or via email, is always preferable.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 10:23:13 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		La Tigresse - try me!!
well most of the times I don't understand my own handwriting but I can write juts fine if I put enough effort into it :)

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 10:31:17 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Good stuff
I tend to believe in the written word. I think when difficult things are being discussed, especially emotional ones, its often a better form of communication for a number of reasons.
1-It keeps things focused. i knows lots of folks who have a habit of listening with only half an ear, the majority of their attention focused on how they are going to respond, what they are going to say-letters limit this.
2-Lots of times things come out somewhat garbled-with writing I can read over it and ask, is this what I meant to say, how will it read from the others POV. Its rare that I don't end up changing things after a review of that nature.
3-It allows a complete thought to be communicated instead of a sequence of ideas dealt with one at a time.
4-Lots of people are much better at saying things that are difficult to find words for via writing that they could never actually utter.
5-Writing something out means thinking it through, at least a little bit (though my posts are an egregious exception to this rule.
Lots of times, i find the answers I seek in the process of writing itself.
6-Plus, I save letters. I like going back sometimes, remembering the feelings, the person

P.s.: I should be at crucible tonight, DRH, if you're there, stop by and say hi.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 10:43:44 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

The guy is a jerk and you're much better off without him. 


Ah, thank you.  I gave it my best shot.
Sometimes our words fail to meet up with the right audience.  The words and intent remain unharmed by these endeavors.


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 10:58:09 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

La Tigresse - try me!!
well most of the times I don't understand my own handwriting but I can write juts fine if I put enough effort into it :)


Be careful what you ask for, I have a scanner and I know how to use it!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 11:24:43 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I dare you

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 11:25:41 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		You better watch your email this weekend missy.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 11:28:09 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		HA HA!

..shoot..

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 11:30:21 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I adore the written word.  I enjoy receiving mail. It is a nice way to communicate but it does remove a certain spontaneity that you get in a face to face.

language is fun to play with...But then so are nips and slits.

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 11:31:06 AM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		LaT, what are you scanning? AND, can I see? just askin

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i see You

happily forever one

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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 11:48:08 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

LaT, what are you scanning? AND, can I see? just askin


Yes, but silly me tried to be cool and scan it here at work.........There is a handwritten note somewhere in our computer land. Fortunately that is not a problem (or I wouldn't have done it), but it is damned frustrating for me at the moment.

WoooooHooooooo!!!!! I found it!!


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 3/27/2009 12:44:04 PM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 80
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