RE: Can I send you an email?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Can I send you an email?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Can I send you an email?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 4 [5]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 12:46:52 PM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

Will I suffer any mental distress trying to read it?

oh yay i got a personal note wohooo meee

but it's not that bad!! except for 10% of it which hmmm I WILL manage.........

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 3/27/2009 12:51:55 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 81

RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 6:39:57 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

you can't make someone talk about something if they aren't interested, either

This is true.

I think I must have had very good fortune in that no one has shut me down to this point. If I take the time to write something, with respect and clarity, I find that more often than not, I get a response - most times that leads to a good discussion.

It isn't necessarily the thought of getting deliberately shut down. Disinterest can be the death of communication. Who wants to be pouring their heart out to someone who isn't paying any attention?

I completely understand, TKY.

With the exception of my ex-husband, I just haven't had that happen.
eta: in my adulthood, that it.

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 3/27/2009 6:47:46 PM >

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Profile

Post #: 82

RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 6:44:34 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

P.s.: I should be at crucible tonight, DRH, if you're there, stop by and say hi.

Damn... DB and I wanted to go tonight, too, but schedules didn't allow for it. We are supposed to be there tomorrow night. If you're there, please say hi!

(brief hijack of my own thread, you're still coming to my birthday party, aren't you?)

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to Kana)

Profile

Post #: 83

RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 6:49:08 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Darn it red! You go and put thoughts in my head and next thing I know I am sitting and writing an intensive email dealing with heaven only knows how many things. This was Tuesday. There has been an exchange via email, text, and phone throughout yesterday. Today, well, amazing things have happened!

I come on the boards to waste insane amounts of time that could be better used like actually having relationships and stuff. How dare you make this a productive pursuit! LOL

lovingpet

Sorry about that, lp. I'm multi-faceted that way, yanno.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to lovingpet)

Profile

Post #: 84

RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/27/2009 11:13:30 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Damn... DB and I wanted to go tonight, too, but schedules didn't allow for it. We are supposed to be there tomorrow night. If you're there, please say hi!

I plan on being there, hopefully with a surprise guest

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Profile

Post #: 85

RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/28/2009 1:25:55 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

Writing instead of talking is a cop out to me. It's a way of communicating without interruptions or having to be accountable to be clear. It takes the communication from being a two-way street of "I talk, you talk." to "I talk, you listen." Surely, you can discuss it afterwards, but the opportunity to share the emotion, the thought processes, and the moment together is gone. I have a bad habit in relationships. I tend to struggle with an issue, come to a decision about how to handle it, then inform my partner of my decision and try to argue my point of view when they think I am wrong. Writing would make this all too easy. By approaching My Lord with what I THINK I should do, with the question of "What do you think?" before I make the decision, then I not only share the burden of the decision making, but I leave myself open to his thoughts and feelings on the matter, and we really can come to a decision together.

Open discussion is a requirement in our relationship. My Lord and I gauge each other's faces, our body language, and our tone when we communicate. By removing the opportunity for him to go through this with me, then I remove his opportunity to see my pain/anguish/anger/happiness/love/ocharacter.

If I were writing a love letter to him, that would be one thing. If I were trying to talk to him about an issue, an event, or a situation which required working out between us, it would violate the lines of communication and rob him of an opportunity to share in it with me. I have finally learned everything is easier to deal with when his arms are around me.

Writing is for my journal, my public journal, and discussion boards. For everything else, I'd rather just talk to My Lord.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Profile

Post #: 86

RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/28/2009 6:02:30 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Storm, I think you are missing the point of this thread. What most of us are saying is that writing to someone is a highly useful tool in addition to having a one-on-one discussion for many reasons. Those reasons may be the level of emotion involved, the level of comfort when discussing fantasies or other "delicate" issues, in an effort to facilitate further communication. I don't think anyone has stated that writing should be a replacement for conversation.

~ Red

wee typo

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 3/28/2009 6:06:37 PM >

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to StormsSlave)

Profile

Post #: 87

RE: Can I send you an email? - 3/28/2009 10:19:47 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

No, I get what they are saying, but I read this thread the day it posted, and thought about it ever since. I've written letters in strong emotional situations before, and am only speaking for myself, of course, but for me it's a cop out, a way to avoid having to confront the person directly. My Lord would much rather have me a bawling mass of tears and snot, unable to cope with my own self, than to avoid confronting him. I know for sure that I would not ever be able to sit there and watch him read such a thing, so that's where the sharing would end.

Keeping in mind, I speak only for me.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Profile

Post #: 88