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RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 11:12:13 AM   
RealSub58


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDarkSadist

The best thing you can do is not worry about what everyone else is doing, and focus on yourself.  Find someone who enjoys you for who you are, and quit worrying about what anyone else is doing.  You will find that you are happier when you aren't so focused on stuff that you can't change, and has no bearing on your situation.  


Very good advice...if she weren't focused on fantasy of porn and got on with the real gut stuff of the rubber hitting the road in the throws of reality.

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RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 11:22:03 AM   
subtee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


on a purely superficial basis, that the hottest commodity going as far as bottoms, would be young, attractive, hot women.  (The males will have to back Me up on that one.)  For the Top side, it's something different.  It's skill and experience.  Often, those things happen to come with age.

[snip]

But are skill and experience superficial?


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RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 11:35:49 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

When Stephen Spielberg directs one of the Jonas Brothers going down on Kathleen Turner, then gender equality will have arrived at the big screen.


How about Dustin Hoffman getting seduced by Anne Bancroft in The Graduate.  Does that count?

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RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 11:37:26 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


on a purely superficial basis, that the hottest commodity going as far as bottoms, would be young, attractive, hot women.  (The males will have to back Me up on that one.)  For the Top side, it's something different.  It's skill and experience.  Often, those things happen to come with age.

[snip]

But are skill and experience superficial?



I probably phrased that poorly.  Thank you for pointing it out.

No, I don't think at all that skill and experience are superficial.  That's where the scenario is different, IMO, from each side.  If I happened to be a bottom who was a pretty young thing (which I'm not in any way) and I was looking to get the most out of a play experience, I'd be looking for the person who was most capable of giving Me that experience.  I wouldn't base it on what he looked like, or how old he was.  I'd be basing it on what he could DO.

I've been trying to stay within the suggested scenario of the OP of a male top/female bottom hypothetical.  However, I can promise that this is definitely the way it often works when the genders are reversed. 


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RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 11:47:13 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Ugly or the lack of beauty is, like beauty, in the eye of the beholder! people who are indeed beautiful inside and out will usjually see beauty in all manner of people young and old. However people of any age or gender who have an ugly disposition and mind are the most ugly things to walk this earth.

Old men and women are only old to those superficial people who are so hooked on worshiping the transitional things of youth and fail to see the wonderfull things which is usually reserved for the older folk (thank God!)


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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 12:02:20 PM   
Lockit


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Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't get where people think old is ugly.  Have you seen some of the oldies but goodies out there?  OMG... you are missing a lot of hunks and beauties out there when you think old is ugly.  If you think old is ugly... you don't know what beauty is.

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RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 12:06:23 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
How about Dustin Hoffman getting seduced by Anne Bancroft in The Graduate.  Does that count?

#1: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

#2: No, it doesn't.  A then-no-name actor in a film over forty years old just isn't the same as known Hollywood actresses who are regularly paired up with men at least ten years older than they are.

Silly-but-real recent example: Pirates of the Caribbean: World's End.  Keira Knightley, 22.  Orlando Bloom, 30.  Johnny Depp, 43.

It's probably harder to find a Hollywood movie in which the actor and actress are near the same age than it is to find one where there is a ten-year gap.  And the man's not the one who's ten years younger.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
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RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 12:30:10 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

No, I don't think at all that skill and experience are superficial.  That's where the scenario is different, IMO, from each side.  If I happened to be a bottom who was a pretty young thing (which I'm not in any way) and I was looking to get the most out of a play experience, I'd be looking for the person who was most capable of giving Me that experience.  I wouldn't base it on what he looked like, or how old he was.  I'd be basing it on what he could DO.

I've been trying to stay within the suggested scenario of the OP of a male top/female bottom hypothetical.  However, I can promise that this is definitely the way it often works when the genders are reversed. 

Do you believe then that the disparity is within D/s or within young/old or male/female? I agree there is a different scenario, perhaps I'm straying off topic...
quote:

Lockit


I don't get where people think old is ugly.  Have you seen some of the oldies but goodies out there?
Lockit, yes, yes YES (spoken like I'm washing my hair with Herbal Essences shampoo or,...doing something else)

Red, I wonder if this:
quote:

RedMagic1: It's probably harder to find a Hollywood movie in which the actor and actress are near the same age than it is to find one where there is a ten-year gap.  And the man's not the one who's ten years younger.


Might have something to do with sentiments like this?:

quote:

RedMagic1: I'll tell you, though, Maraa -- I'm a 40 year old man who doesn't want children of my own.  My experience dating (both kinky and nilla) is that most of the women I've met age 33-43 are either hunting for a baby-daddy, or have tremendous baggage from a nasty divorce.  I had a relationship last year with a 25-year-old, and we are still friends.  The women closer to my age tend to select themselves away from me, "forcing" me to date younger and "hotter."  The person I'm most interested in right now is 25.



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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 12:37:46 PM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

No, I don't think at all that skill and experience are superficial.  That's where the scenario is different, IMO, from each side.  If I happened to be a bottom who was a pretty young thing (which I'm not in any way) and I was looking to get the most out of a play experience, I'd be looking for the person who was most capable of giving Me that experience.  I wouldn't base it on what he looked like, or how old he was.  I'd be basing it on what he could DO.

I've been trying to stay within the suggested scenario of the OP of a male top/female bottom hypothetical.  However, I can promise that this is definitely the way it often works when the genders are reversed. 

Do you believe then that the disparity is within D/s or within young/old or male/female? I agree there is a different scenario, perhaps I'm straying off topic...


I wouldn't even go so far as to say D/s.  I would, however, apply it to a Top/bottom scenario.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 12:59:05 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Oh jeez, subtee, I would loooovvvvee to find a woman my own age who spends her time talking enthusiastically about all the things she intends to accomplish, and has the chops to accomplish them.  In fact, I do know such women.  They are married, or we don't have chemistry "that" way.

But 99% of the single women near my age don't talk like that.  They talk about their horrible ex, or how they want to slow down, finally have some time for themselves, and just get by.  I'm not looking to slow down, and I'm not thinking small.  I'm speeding up.  I have started some of the most difficult projects of my life, and I intend to be working harder next year, not taking it easier.

Younger women are more compatible with that, in my experience.  A femdom and a lesbian posted in this thread also, seeing similar problems in men and gay women age 35-45.  A very large number of people approaching middle age in this society are beaten down, or their main goal in life is to avoid being unhappy.  Well, that's not good enough for me.  I'm looking for a woman who is idealistic enough to chase dreams, and practical enough to catch them.

This has nothing to do with body, or wrinkles, and everything to do with enthusiasm and attitude.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 1:07:47 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, you're right, others posted the same and I'm sorry if it seemed like I was dogging on you. My thoughts came from these age threads and from a recent afternoon spent perving. There is so much vitriol on profiles about fakes and time wasters, and I wondered if experience as a sub or bottom, for that matter, matters?

Maybe this should be asked in a separate thread.


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Don't believe everything you think...

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 1:10:54 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
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Status: offline 		So now older people are not only saggy and wrinkly... but not enthusiastic, goal oriented and boring, boring!    lol

So I guess a toothless gum job is out of order???

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 1:12:45 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Lockit, I would love to have a threeway with you and subtee.  So there.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 1:14:08 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		ROFL

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 1:17:33 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Lockit, I would love to have a threeway with you and subtee.  So there.


Awesome! Now I have dreams to chase...guess I'll keep on living


_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 2:16:34 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Old men and women are only old to those superficial people who are so hooked on worshiping the transitional things of youth and fail to see the wonderfull things which is usually reserved for the older folk (thank God!)

Umm, I think some older people are quite attractive, but I still think that someone who is say 25 years older than me is old. I can appreciate many things about them, but I am not necessarily interested in dating someone who is old enough to be my parent! There are a lot of things that are involved in attraction - for me, pheremones and touch matter a lot more than looks, but I don't see anything wrong with knowing what I want in a partner.

LadyPact, I don't think I'm young enough to count in this discussion, since I'm over 25, but I personally don't feel I need experience, I just need compatibility. :)

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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 2:27:44 PM   
aravain


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Joined: 8/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
Umm, I think some older people are quite attractive, but I still think that someone who is say 25 years older than me is old. I can appreciate many things about them, but I am not necessarily interested in dating someone who is old enough to be my parent! There are a lot of things that are involved in attraction - for me, pheremones and touch matter a lot more than looks, but I don't see anything wrong with knowing what I want in a partner.

LadyPact, I don't think I'm young enough to count in this discussion, since I'm over 25, but I personally don't feel I need experience, I just need compatibility. :)


This is pretty much how I feel!

Of course, when I say 'ugly' I mean something wildly different than others, apparently. I mean 'undatable' :P Either there's no physical attraction, they're much too old, or something's just not 'right' to make dating something that I'd want to try.

'Ugly' to me isn't necessarily a put-down thing (unless, of course, you're desperate to date me. Then I guess it would be a put-down? I've only ever had this happen for two people, though...), but I'm conscious about when/where I say it because I know that it *is* an insult for other people.

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RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 2:29:34 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
LadyPact, I don't think I'm young enough to count in this discussion, since I'm over 25, but I personally don't feel I need experience, I just need compatibility. :)


Mind, I am not intending to argue.  I would contend that for those who seek something in particular from a play only situation (not a dynamic or relationship) compatibility isn't always a necessary ingredient.

The discussion stemmed from bondage, so I'm going to stick with that.  Be advised.  I am not a rope person and have never claimed to be.

There is a beauty in rope work.  Done to what appears to be perfection, the art is fantastic.  If the intricacy of the work is your thrill, would you settle for the inexperienced who's best ties are on his shoes?  Rather, would you want the rope laid upon your skin, in lovely design, that makes your heart soar?  Could your soul still sing with sloppy, inexperienced work that was only a disappointment of your hopes and expectations?

Some can and some can not.  Where you fall in this, only you can decide.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 2:39:45 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't get where people think old is ugly.  Have you seen some of the oldies but goodies out there?  OMG... you are missing a lot of hunks and beauties out there when you think old is ugly.  If you think old is ugly... you don't know what beauty is.


The younger halves of us have all been tainted by the youthful impressioning of Harrison Ford, Jack Nicholson and going further back Cary Grant...  Seeing such sexy "silver foxes" on the big & little screen have surely warped young, soft minded females into thinking older, greying men can be totally hot -not despite their age, but in part due to it!


;)

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Young subs and old ugly men - 3/29/2009 2:45:02 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Speaking now from the same angle as LadyPact regarding rope tops/bottoms being the focus here:  capability matters, when it comes to rope as she described... the beauty and safety-measures are the main draw in that type of play.  Someone can *have* that ability when younger, but someone ho has devoted years to it *may* have more -and be better known for doing well, since they've been around, been seen doing it, have learned with and taught others, etc. so their skill has been "advertised", so to speak, more... leading to more interest in having them top.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 100
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