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RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 9:16:52 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
MrD, I do believe you are either slipping (getting soft?) or grading on a curve given the recent influx of ridiculous rants...

Why my dear Miss Tress, I have never been accused of "getting soft" before. I stand before you agast. I shall re-evaluate and after further research, regrade this essay at a later time.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 21

RE: Irritated by stereotypes...then caught myself doing... - 1/27/2006 9:26:29 AM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

quote:

ARSEHAT

is this anything like an ASSHOLE? (never understood the British slangs)

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to DWolfhunter)

Post #: 22

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 9:54:00 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DWolfhunter

One of the things that really pisses me off about the D/s community as a whole, is that it perpetuates several basic stereotypes. The ones that really turn my crank are the following:

UNrealistic Dominants: If you set the image that you're an dishonest, unprincipled letch. You have failed. If you demand submission, you have failed. If you have to force compliance, you have failed. If you really believe that you are "MasterCum-tastic, Lord High Stomper of the unrighteous and submissive" take your meds and help will be on it's way. Any person who demands that a complete stranger approach them as Master/Mistress has FAILED!! If you can't get off without your toys...you guessed it you've failed. The most useful sexual device/toy is your mind and the will to use it.
Go ahead and be dishonest with yourself all you like. But when a newbie sub sets themselves out there...you had better be being honest with them. Why? Because you owe it to them. By claiming dominance you have also made yourself responsible for the sub' safety and security.

Stereotype 2: The unrealistic submissive
Alright honey, I get it. You wanna be dommed by Fabio. I see the attraction. You want a Babarian prince with a little Marquis de Sade thrown in for culture and color.You wanna be dommed by LeStat and Louis together >sheesh< Go figure. No argument. But howsabout we live in the real world for right now eh?
You don't want someone over forty...because 20 yr old doms are soooooo experienced.>rolls eyes<
You don't want anyone overweight...cause everybody knows that being fat impedes your abilities and desires and the skill to use both, right? You don't want anyone who will make you do anything you don't wanna do...excuse me, what kink were we discussing again?
You claim that "My submission is a gift"...OMG if I hear this argument again, I may just blow my steaming lunch on the next person who poses it...No. Wrong. Your submission is not a gift. You do not surrender a gift to someone you recognise as dominant over you. You DO give your trust and your faith that you will be safe and secure in that person's care and control. Obedience is not a gift. It's a condition.

For the record, I am a 40+ fat old veteran with all the scars tattoos and marks of hard living you'd expect to find me with. I have more experience in the D/s lifestyle than I often care to discuss. Yes, as both a Dom and as a sub. I subbed to a lover when I was eighteen years old (and far prettier/thinner than I am now) so I could understand how the other half of the equation works. I make no apologies for who or what I am, and I attempt to change what needs changing ,while maintaining my self-respect as often as possible. If I have failed to impress you with sincerity...bad on me. If I have failed to impress you with my looks and my outer image...Get bent! This is the real world. Fabio doesn't dom here.

I swear every week there is someone on the boards whining about how they basically can't get any.... Maybe its time to matchmake all of the together.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to DWolfhunter)

Post #: 23

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 9:59:42 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Ya'll are just cracking me up...

poor op...tomorrow will be better...(unless everyone keeps this up...then...uhm...another day, perhaps?)

lolol

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Post #: 24

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 10:11:07 AM

Crazytwice

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/28/2005
From: North of Boston
Status: offline

I never got that phrase "submission is a gift". Who coined that anyway? I bet it comes from Castle Realm.

Submission feels like a need to me. One that I'm not always thrilled to have.

Obedience would be the gift. Therein lies the choices. I have no choice, it seems,
about the submission part. It just is. But I can certainly chose who and when I decide to
express this submission with.

_____________________________

"If you build it, he will come"
~Field of Dreams~

(in reply to DWolfhunter)

Post #: 25

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 10:32:40 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

[/quote]

Fabio??? OMG he's so old school now they won't put him on front pages of romance novels now.

Obediance is not a condition... a condition is medical... hair products.... things of those nature. And if you want my odediance, you damn well better be preprared to treat it as a special gift and treat it well. Just like I wuld treat your gift of Dominace.

20 vs 40 ..... hell 40 isn't any more experianced than 20... just means you been fucking longer. Experiance is learned.... not based on age brackets. Besides.. i've said it once.. i'll say it again... I'll take Sean Connery of Brab Pitt or Michael T Wise any day of the week.. (though I might hesitate when it comes to "The Pretender"

My scars, my tattoos are not my signs of hard life.... they're signs of stupidity (tattoos) and experiancing life in general... from shootings, stabbings, child birth, and things of that nature. War is hell on the home front too for some.

Oh..... and seriously.... to quote Robin Williams.... you are in more dire need of a blow job than any man i have ever seen!..... have a nice day

[/quote]

Hello...I'm sorry but how are Tattoos a sign of stupidity...you have no right to pass judgement on anyone,least of all someone with a tattoo,who possibly got them while defending this Country....How about you go pick on a child molester instead.

While I dont agree with the OP(opening post).I dont think you have the right to be verbally abusive.Calling someone "stupid" is abusive language.

I have to ask...how do you figure that a 20 year old has more experience than a 40 year old.

If your 40 and been fucking longer than a 20 year old how can you not know more and have more experience?I'm sure the 40 year old has learned more.

Dont you dare take away what OUR soldiers do for US.I cannot believe that you think being here is worse than being Iraq.I have friends that have husbands and wives in this War,dont think your worse off than them.

There now see I said what I had to say and I didnt call you any names and although I think your vision is a little off...I'm not going to pass judgement on you,I'm going to accept that maybe your just having a bad day.

Now onto the OP...
Okay wait a minute...If you cant get off without toys,you have failed...failed what exactly?
Certainly didnt fail to get off,I'm rather confident that My mind has control even if there is a toy involved.

I as a Domme am very grateful for My subs.I use words like Please and Thank-you when talking to them,being polite is not a weakness.
When slave bishop gave herself to Me it was of her own free will.she wants to be here anything else would be forcing someone to do something...that doesnt sound Consensual to Me.
I personally could really careless what My subs/slave weighs in at,as long as they are healthy.
Size is not what makes a good Domme or sub.Its devotion and caring,Having control of Y/yourself and yes,subs have control,afterall who gets to use the safe word?
I dont think you can go wrong if you keep in Mind being Safe,Sane and Consensual at all times.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 26

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 10:43:25 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66
Hello...I'm sorry but how are Tattoos a sign of stupidity...you have no right to pass judgement on anyone,least of all someone with a tattoo,who possibly got them while defending this Country....How about you go pick on a child molester instead.

Tattoos are often considered stupid mistakes. That's why tattoo removal is a thriving and growing industry.

And anyone has the right to pass judgement on anyone.

quote:

I have to ask...how do you figure that a 20 year old has more experience than a 40 year old.

I've got a lot more experience with things than a lot of the 40 yo's who post here have.

quote:

If your 40 and been fucking longer than a 20 year old how can you not know more and have more experience?I'm sure the 40 year old has learned more.

Having fucked quite a number of over 40 yo men and women, I'd have to say it's perfectly possible to fuck a lot for a lot of years and learn nothing at all.

quote:

Dont you dare take away what OUR soldiers do for US.

I don't see how anyone's post did that?

quote:

I cannot believe that you think being here is worse than being Iraq.I have friends that have husbands and wives in this War,dont think your worse off than them.

I'm sure plenty of people here in the US have it worse than people in Iraq, and vice versa. However, the post itself listed only that it is "war is hell on the home front too"

quote:

I dont think you can go wrong if you keep in Mind being Safe,Sane and Consensual at all times.

Considering SSC is a fairly meaningless term, plenty of people have gone wrong while claiming to be SSC.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 1/27/2006 11:13:27 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 27

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 10:54:34 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Mistress Sassy

Hello...I'm sorry but how are Tattoos a sign of stupidity...you have no right to pass judgement on anyone,least of all someone with a tattoo,who possibly got them while defending this Country....How about you go pick on a child molester instead.

To me.. my tattoos were stupidity .. i never stated that anyones elses was.. I can and wil state what I want about myself.. when I want.. to whom I want. And defending a counry is by all mean no reason for a tattoo.. my dad did over 30 years in the navy, Nam, Beruit to name a few.. not single damn tatoo. As for child molester.. pick on hell.. string the bastard up high by his ball!!!

While I dont agree with the OP(opening post).I dont think you have the right to be verbally abusive.Calling someone "stupid" is abusive language.

I will call myself stupid any damn time I please.

I have to ask...how do you figure that a 20 year old has more experience than a 40 year old.

I did not say that at all....

If your 40 and been fucking longer than a 20 year old how can you not know more and have more experience?I'm sure the 40 year old has learned more.

Not all the time.....

Dont you dare take away what OUR soldiers do for US.I cannot believe that you think being here is worse than being Iraq.I have friends that have husbands and wives in this War,dont think your worse off than them.

WTF is this?????????

I seriously think everyone needs more fucking coffee !!!!!

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 28

RE: Irritated by stereotypes...then caught myself doing... - 1/27/2006 11:06:17 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

(She sits back,crosses long legs and reaches for a martini)

_____________________________

"I would rather 30 seconds of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Steel Magnolias

Mistress Hathor

/waits for hers

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 29

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 11:10:57 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

See, the problem here is, it's all been said before. Hell, it's been said in better ways even. This all just seems like a knock-off. A knock-off that you can't even dance to. But I give it a C for effort, a C- for content, an F for lack of expletives. I think that comes to be an overall D. Hey, at least you past.

HMMM so has he been voted off the island?

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 30

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 11:25:53 AM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I've got a lot more experience with things than a lot of the 40 yo's who post here have.

Gee, how many hours has it been since we've all seen this: the blithe certainty of the 20+ set! Maybe it's just me, but if this statement of yours were actually true I suspect you'd state variants of it far less often than you do.

If most people look back upon their youth as periods of learning marked by moments of extreme stupidity, odds are so will you. It's not a certainty that you will, but the odds favor it. Hell, I've done things I regret in the last 10 years and I am no one's fool. One incident I have in mind was 8-9 years ago. I should have known better but I didn't. So, live and learn. At least I am smart enough to not repeat my mistakes - but you have to live your mistakes first in order not to repeat them. Living takes time, time the average 25 year old hasn't had yet. It is my observation that most do not learn well from the mistakes of others.

I have yet to meet the 25 year old whose wisdom I find compelling.

Well, unless I am trying to get into her pants, in which case I am sure she is as wise as Yoda.

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 31

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 11:30:36 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang
Gee, how many hours has it been since we've all seen this: the blithe certainty of the 20+ set! Maybe it's just me, but if this statement of yours were actually true I suspect you'd state variants of it far less often than you do.

If people stopped trying to suggest that being older somehow magically made people smarter, maybe I would.

The fact that we see people twice my age on here constantly making the idiotic posts we all laugh and complain about should speak volumes. The fact is that I'm more experienced in a lot of things, especially bdsm and sex related, than most of the novices flooding this site everyday.

quote:

If most people look back upon their youth as periods of learning marked by moments of extreme stupidity, odds are so will you.

Of course it does. Hell I did some really stupid things last week. But that doesn't take away the fact that I am more experienced and knowledgeable on a lot of things than people twice my age.

quote:

I have yet to meet the 25 year old whose wisdom I find compelling.

And racists against africans never meet a black person whose wisdom they find compelling either.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 32

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 11:53:44 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

Am I the only one who understands that his comments may be about steriotypes that "turn his crank". I dont know if he is talking about himself in his examples, or if he is just quoting some of the responses he has had with subs and doms. I have had several emails from submissives who have told me exactly what they are looking for with no mention at all of what they can offer me. I have even had some say they will not put up with any pain given to them. Still others have told me that they only want a Mistress that will take their virginity. I have had some say that they just want me to teach them all there is to know *In other words, tie me up and fuck me til I cant stand* I am not saying that all subs are like this (Not by a long shot) but in all fairness to the OP, I understand his example of steriotype submissives. Have I ran across this attitude in real life? No, only online and in emails. Wankers? To be sure. I do not come over here and post about it.
I dont understand some of the responses that he has received here. Such anger and hostility. IF he is simply using his experiences as an example and it doesnt apply to you or anything you have done, why bother responding? Why get upset about it? Seems to me if he did do this to get a rise out of people, he sure accomplished his goal and now he is the one sitting back and enjoying his coffee while he reads your responses.

_____________________________

(in reply to DWolfhunter)

Post #: 33

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 12:17:46 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

Somewhere, a ninty year old is discussing how those people in their eighties, don't know shit.

At my age, I probably know two percent of what I will eventually know. Part of that two percent though, is knowing that since I only know a fraction of the twenty-something that are walking the planet, I can't categorically say anything about them as a group.

At your age, perhaps you know them all ... or perhaps I meant to say "know it all."

< Message edited by caitlyn -- 1/27/2006 12:19:17 PM >

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 34

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 12:26:09 PM

subtoFemDommes

Posts: 72
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
Back in the 1700s, a guy named Jonathan Edwards wrote a treatise called "Sinners in the hands of an angry god." It's scared the shit out of generations, but I hold that that situation is nothing compared to "Pompous doms in the sights of pissed off submissives"

Just as an aside (and to let the besieged Dom take a breather - OK; i kind of found his rant entertaining).

It's ironic Mr. Warren, that one of my early, delicious remembrances of being Dommed was by my very proper, strict-but-warm 4th grade teacher who, amazed at my very young change of voice when She had me read that, ahem ... "encouraged" me to read it in a school play about the Puritans.

(She used to make me quiver when i'd be caught talking in class and hear that oh-so-strict voice clearly enunciate my entire name with the addendum ... "I am shocked and astonished!" <shiver>.)

Despite my seeming extroversion under other circumstances, i had huge anxiety about it, but when the big day came, my improbable (and a bit forced) baritone stole the show ... If only those other little kids knew what incentive i had to sound good! lol ...

Thanks for the memory (and the laugh).

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 35

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 12:35:16 PM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
The fact is that I'm more experienced in a lot of things, especially bdsm and sex related, than most of the novices flooding this site everyday.

Hmmm, well then I apologize.

It just seems that you daily post things that suggest you haven't a clue about BDSM matters or sex beyond mowing your owner's lawn, providing him with chauffeur services, or tending his house for him in his absence. Allowing yourself to be used by your owner's buddies who like to fly by and "hit it" doesn't qualify you for much of anything in my view. Most of the people I know that provide such services get paid for them - but you're too smart for that, huh?

I guess I just don't get the sexual aspect of dumping out the grass trap. Can you explain that bit for us?

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 36

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 12:39:52 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
The fact is that I'm more experienced in a lot of things, especially bdsm and sex related, than most of the novices flooding this site everyday.

Hmmm, well then I apologize.

It just seems that you daily post things that suggest you haven't a clue about BDSM matters or sex beyond mowing your owner's lawn, providing him with chauffeur services, or tending his house for him in his absence. Allowing yourself to be used by your owner's buddies who like to fly by and "hit it" doesn't qualify you for much of anything in my view. Most of the people I know that provide such services get paid for them - but you're too smart for that, huh?

I guess I just don't get the sexual aspect of dumping out the grass trap. Can you explain that bit for us?

veronica! get the martinis!!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 37

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 12:41:40 PM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn
Somewhere, a ninty year old is discussing how those people in their eighties, don't know shit.

Can't you see that from the 90 year old's perspective that it might be a perfectly true and valid claim?

Seriously, is it the argument of the other side that y'all in your 20s know everything already? That each passing year is just another blip in time in which you will learn nothing because you're too big for your britches already? I just can't accept that. I am learning new things all the time. I am not learning as much in a short time frame as I did when I was younger, but I learn new things nonetheless.

I don't even claim that some of you couldn't be wise beyond your years - I merely claim that such a thing would be uncommon.

LuckyAlbatross is constantly claiming that there is nothing special about us in the BDSM world - that the stats are the same for us as any other community across the board. So that means she must claim the same unexceptional status of everyone else in her precise cicumstances doesn't it? Including her age bracket?

< Message edited by Chaingang -- 1/27/2006 12:45:51 PM >

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to caitlyn)

Post #: 38

RE: Irritated by stereotypes...then caught myself doing... - 1/27/2006 12:44:04 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

i think i need a foreign language slang dictionary...

arsehat?
wankers?

maybe i'm just not too well versed in some terms...i suspect what the second word means, but that first one is a challenge.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 39

RE: Irritated by unrealistic criteriae - 1/27/2006 12:44:05 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang
It just seems that you daily post things that suggest you haven't a clue about BDSM matters or sex beyond mowing your owner's lawn, providing him with chauffeur services, or tending his house for him in his absence.

Are you confusing me with someone else? I mean yes, I did all of those things for my owner, but I haven't been in an M/s relationship since the summer.

quote:

Allowing yourself to be used by your owner's buddies who like to fly by and "hit it" doesn't qualify you for much of anything in my view.

Well, a good sex toy at least.

quote:

Most of the people I know that provide such services get paid for them - but you're too smart for that, huh?

No, I've come out as an escort on this site (at least I thought I had?)

I didn't realize that providing mundane daily services that one could hire out for was somehow pointless in the life of a slave...how silly.

quote:

I guess I just don't get the sexual aspect of dumping out the grass trap. Can you explain that bit for us?

For me being owned is about living under anothers authority and being useful in their life. Whether that means mowing the lawn, entertaining friends, having dinner together or writing letters is just a matter of preference and circumstance.

Your post confuses me- it sounds like you're saying I don't know anything about being a slave because all I talk about is doing things for a master that happen to be boring daily chores? And then it sounds like I don't know anything about it because I'm a whore? And then it sounds like I don't know anything because the mundane things have nothing to do with being a whore?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 40

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