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Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 5:09:32 AM   
deeppression


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		Hello,
I am new to all this and i've been reading about this lifestyle for some time now.
I know most of you call your sub/slaves slut or all sorts of names, but what about insulting their physical appearance? Do you do that?
And what is their reaction?

Thank you

-Shino, futur dom
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 5:20:27 AM   
InTonguesslave


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline 		personally i would pack and leave in a flood of tears, but im shallow

i spose if someone is into that degree of image assasination then fine, but to be made to feel unattractive in the eyes of the one you most want to please and serve, for me anyway, wouldnt work, id wonder why they were with me if they thought i was ugly.  and if they were turned on anyway id wonder why they lied and if theyre main premis is to make someone feel really shit about themselves - especially if that person is full of insecurities and self image issues could be very damaging

i think youd need to pick youre sub very carefully.

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aka lally


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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 5:20:36 AM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		My reaction to being insulted by a dominant would be exactly the same as being insulted by any other person.
Hint : It wouldn't be pretty.



                                               mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 5:27:40 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I know a few dominants who do this. Just the other day one of them was talking about his girl and saying how fat she is. I think it says a lot more about the dominant than it does about their submissive. An ugly personality goes a lot deeper than a physical imperfection....and dominants who put their submissives down in such a way have very ugly personalities.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 5:30:23 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I do the whole pro sub thing, and while I can take a lot of random abuse, I tend to get pissy when people call me fat or ugly... sometimes to the point of just walking out of the session.

Meh. Manners are manners- it doesn't turn me on, but there are probably some people who are into it.


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HBIC



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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 6:09:18 AM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		I'm sure I would have some equally kind things to say in return. 

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 6:27:29 AM   
Danibelle


Posts: 94
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline 		I DO enjoy being personally insulted during a scene.  However, I think it's something that bothers most people and would suggest you talk it over and ask before you say something you didn't mean to be hurtful.

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"To love another person is to see the face of God."

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 6:36:17 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		No.

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 6:39:30 AM   
MissJanice2


Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline 		This practice of name calling refers to names as Terms of Endearment.   Personally, it is not an option for me because I think everyone is beautiful in their  own way.  I was hurt to much as a child being called names.   I work on raising my slave's self esteem rather than lowering it.
Just my opinion on the subject.
 
Best Wishes,
 
MJ

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 6:53:25 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You had better negotiate it carefully ahead of time, unless you want the first time you do this to be the last time you see her.

Beyond that, you seem to think that every sub is into humiliation and/or degradation. Allow me to inform you otherwise. From past threads on the subject, I would hazard a guess that about 30-40% of female subs do not enter relationships involving any humiliation; including being called slut, whore, bitch, cunt etc.

The rates of heavy humiliation and degradation seem to be higher in male submissives than in female.

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 6:53:25 AM   
mugwump


Posts: 119
Joined: 9/26/2005
From: uk
Status: offline 		i guess it's kind of emotional edge play. it might get you both going on an utterly stellar level.. but, like any edge play you have to REALLY know your onions before you wade in!
It absolutely wouldn't work for me for the same kind of reasons as MissJ

:)

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 6:55:52 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		If someone told me that as part of a scene, I'd tell them they had shit in their eyes, and I would walk away. Don't mess with my self-image, that's all I'm gonna say  .

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 7:03:00 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deeppression

Hello,
I am new to all this and i've been reading about this lifestyle for some time now.
I know most of you call your sub/slaves slut or all sorts of names, but what about insulting their physical appearance? Do you do that?
And what is their reaction?

Thank you

-Shino, futur dom


Though I love humiliation,
that's way beyond, D/s is about respect, and to call
someone names or point out stuff which no one
can do anything about? What fun is that?

It just shows what kind of person you're, if you would
get off on stuff like that.

I'm out there to make My sub feel good, and
raise her/his self esteem, and self worth, not to break that down.
That hasn't got anything to do with D/s.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 7:10:36 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deeppression



I know most of you call your sub/slaves slut or all sorts of names

Well, two things.....you're lumping slut into the derogatory terms saying that it's in the same category as ugly. Most of the people that I know that use the word slut don't use it as a derogatory term.

Next, I know more couples that don't use the word slut than couples who do use the word slut. Master and I are among those that don't use it.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 7:15:19 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
The rates of heavy humiliation and degradation seem to be higher in male submissives than in female.

That's my sense of things, too.  I don't know why this is, though.  Bill Cosby once said, "Women live on food, water and compliments."  Maybe it's not as shattering for a man to hear that he's not desirable, because of how boys are socialized?  There's something interesting going on there, but I don't know what it is.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 7:16:50 AM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		The only time Master calls me such names as slut or whore or bitch is during play, when he's letting me know that it's going to be rough. It's never "personal" more like a code for what i can expect. very similar to him calling me little one means things are more relaxed, or kajira means i'm crossing hte lines or it's a high protocol day. He'd never call me ugly though, he knows what that would do to me and he has a hard enough time as it is trying to elevate my self esteem. if he ever called me ugly even in play we'd have a serious problem.

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 7:23:01 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: deeppression

Hello,
I am new to all this and i've been reading about this lifestyle for some time now.
I know most of you call your sub/slaves slut or all sorts of names, but what about insulting their physical appearance? Do you do that?
And what is their reaction?

Thank you

-Shino, futur dom


I can understand a Dominant doing this if public humiliation was part of their dynamic. The only Masters I know who do this use humiliation in private or public within their dynamic but God help any outsider doing it. Personally, I’m not wired for public humiliation or private humiliation for that matter. If I’m reaming a new arsehole I will lay it on a bit but more often about actions etc rather than about physical looks etc.  Each to his or her own ….  


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 7:38:51 AM   
InTonguesslut


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Truthfully i think i'd laugh. I know i'm not ugly as big headed as that sounds.

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It's not shopping if you buy 10 items or less.

If it fits in a toaster, i can cook it.

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Prov

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 7:55:23 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslut

Truthfully i think i'd laugh. I know i'm not ugly as big headed as that sounds.


I dated a man when I was barely over 18 who would "remind" me every now and again that I was fat and ugly, though it was usually said in an off hand manner that I just blew off as I knew then that I was neither.  After he put my head through a wall with his fist I did some research and found that many abusive men use degration of self image as a foundation to make a woman feel she has no alternative to accepting his abuse.

That was my long winded way of stating just what KittenSol said: You don't mess with self-image.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

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RE: Calling your sub "ugly"? - 4/1/2009 7:59:43 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		i don't think that would be a turn on for me. in fact, i'd probably recall the statement when he's saying something positive. with all the crap we have to process, that's the last thing i'd want playing in my head.

porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

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