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should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 9:53:56 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

If your Dom let you go after 9 months together and said the reason that He let you go was because He found another and then a couple weeks later wanted you back would you take Him back????And you hear from another sub He knows differing stories on why He let you go......head games just to mess with your feelings or does he really want you back???? Do you allow Him to play with your emotions like that?? Being let go the first time REALLY hurt......

Any advice greately appreciated......

Post #: 1

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 9:59:16 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Horrors!! You've pushed me into a flashback.
Run away from this guy. Run and don't look back.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 2

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 9:59:35 PM

Eir

Posts: 118
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline

I actually have been let go because he found another sub that was more... submissive was what he said but when I saw her I understood what he liked more about her then me ;) I don't care now but it's pethatic saying something to you and another thing to another person...

I say that you let him know that you are better off without him and find yourself a better Master ;)

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 3

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 10:56:10 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Snooze you lose....

No matter why he claims to of let you go... he let you go. So go.. and don't look back. It appears... from your post.. that he's liable to want you back... till yet what he thinks is something better comes along again...

Now if you're into the head games... mind fucks.. this turns you on.. go back...

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 4

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 10:59:15 PM

LRODANDMASTER

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline

YOU PEPOLE ARE TO HARSH I CAN DEFINATELY RELATE TO THE GUY. I MEAN SOMTIMES A NEW SUB SEAMS MORE ATRACTIVE THAN THE ONE I HAVE NOW, BUT THEN AFTER A WILE YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU GAVE UP AND YOU HAVE TO GET HER BACK SOMEHWO

_____________________________

LRODANDMASTER TYPE LIKE DUMASS BUT HIM NO DUMASS

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 5

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 11:01:47 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

NO NO NO NO NO....

(maybe)

NO NO NO NO NO

(go with your gut...I think you 'no' what it is saying...no?...)

(in reply to LRODANDMASTER)

Post #: 6

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 11:06:41 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

Okay. So what would you do if this happened in a Vanilla relationship? AND, if he did this once and you took him back then he will feel he can do it again with no consequences.

I'd say RUN, don't walk to the nearest exit and let him browse in those 'greener pastures' that he liked so much.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 7

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 11:09:17 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LRODANDMASTER

YOU PEPOLE ARE TO HARSH I CAN DEFINATELY RELATE TO THE GUY. I MEAN SOMTIMES A NEW SUB SEAMS MORE ATRACTIVE THAN THE ONE I HAVE NOW,

On this note... "Oh this Master will do till someone else better comes along"....

(in reply to LRODANDMASTER)

Post #: 8

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/27/2006 11:12:13 PM

wolffeathers

Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
Status: offline

Without knowing more about the relationship, I can't say go back to him or not.

With only knowing the little you said, it's hard to make an opion on the situation.

_____________________________

It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

Post #: 9

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 2:22:59 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

If your Dom let you go after 9 months together and said the reason that He let you go was because He found another and then a couple weeks later wanted you back would you take Him back????And you hear from another sub He knows differing stories on why He let you go......head games just to mess with your feelings or does he really want you back???? Do you allow Him to play with your emotions like that?? Being let go the first time REALLY hurt......

Any advice greately appreciated......

RUN

Seriously, if he did this to you once, he will do it again. Sometimes people don't know what they have til they lose it, but why should you be the one to pay for his stupidity? You shouldnt.

RUN

_____________________________

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 10

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 2:53:27 AM

LadyNeets

Posts: 188
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

I wouldn't take Him back because the rebound things isn't nice it's His loss and your gain you can go out and find someone completely different to Him and start from scratch and find out what the New one is looking for before you Both get in to it to deep.

I'd listen to what the other have to say but take it with a grain of salt they might have put their own spin on the situation just to see your reaction and also to see if you’d take him back.

I agree with blushes go with your gut feeling I know Mine has never steered Me wrong .

Lady Neets

_____________________________

I am not a bitch I am the Bitch and to you I am Mistress Bitch

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 11

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 4:06:52 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03
head games just to mess with your feelings or does he really want you back???? Do you allow Him to play with your emotions like that?? Being let go the first time REALLY hurt......

The bit I quoted says it all for me. You no longer trust him not to play head games with you. If you did go back it isn't even starting at square one, there would be months of work rebuilding trust to even get to the stage you would be at with someone totaly new because you have reason to suspect he is dishonest and someone new would at least have a 'clean slate'

The reality is that you will make up your own mind whatever folks here say
The advice: Its history, move forward not back.

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 12

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 4:47:58 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

In 99% of the cases, and in your specific case, I agree with the others and block the bastard from your life.

The other 1% is the reason for a release which may have some mitigating circumstances.

Senario 1: The Dom believes that he has or is in the terminal stage of a life threatening illness and wishes you not to have to share the final weeks, months etc... Later he finds that he is in remission with a reasonable prognosis. >>> I'd be in favour of at least talking to him and seeing what you feel and what your gut tells you.

Senario 2: The Dom loses his job and will probably lose his home and perhaps his car. A couple of weeks later he finds permanant employment with a sufficiently large salary or wage to pay all the commitments etc. >>> I'd be in favour of at least talking to him and seeing what you feel and what your gut tells you.

In both senarios, he has understood the hurt he gives by releasing you but believes that it is the lesser of two evils. Rather than seeing you being dragged down by his situation he also suffers the pain of releasing you. For me that alone is worthy of a second look and perhaps even a second chance seeing he has one also regarding his previous situation.

It is a tad like being overseas in a combat area for an idefinate or extended period (say 5 years) and finding that your wife will not wait and is seekig a divorce. If you for some reason were able to return home is your marriage worth a second chance?

< Message edited by IronBear -- 1/28/2006 4:52:22 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 13

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 5:09:27 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

RUN! Don't make me say it again. This is a situation that I know. There are better things awaiting you.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 14

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 7:13:10 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

If your Dom let you go after 9 months together and said the reason that He let you go was because He found another and then a couple weeks later wanted you back would you take Him back????And you hear from another sub He knows differing stories on why He let you go......head games just to mess with your feelings or does he really want you back???? Do you allow Him to play with your emotions like that?? Being let go the first time REALLY hurt......

Any advice greately appreciated......

No.

He hasn't shown any way he has CHANGED. Why would you want to do the same thing all over again? Wouldn't it stand to reason he would do the same thing all over again? If he wants to take the time to date, slowly, showing consistency and truth of character, while you date him and others, then that's a reasonable option.

But really, why settle?

It sounds like you're too caught up in drama all together. Who cares about stories of exs? You have more than enough on your own experience.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 15

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 7:22:32 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I won't go into all the "run" bullshit that people seem to spout like a fountain spouts water. (RUN!! Run away, run like your hairs on fire, run like your catching the bus, do the running man) What kind of crap is that?

Should you take this guy back? No.

Why? Because he dumped you. If he wasn't smart enough to stay with you then he's not smart enough to get you back. Just tell him no and move on.

Don't let him worm his way back either. Be steadfast in your no. Let him beg, plead, even get up in front of a BDSM crowd and state what he did, why he did it and that he's a lowly, ignorant, sorry excuse for a man for what he did and you just look straight into his eyes with a big, warm smile and say "no" and walk away. It's about control, sweetheart. And right now, you have it. Enjoy.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 16

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 8:12:34 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Oooohhh...Mr. Discipline...

Awesome answer! I like the way you think!

*kinda sorta devious, isn't it?

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 17

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 8:44:36 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Sign me up for the Mr. Discipline fan club! Everything he said is true.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 18

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 9:19:08 AM

IceyOne

Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

If your Dom let you go after 9 months together and said the reason that He let you go was because He found another and then a couple weeks later wanted you back would you take Him back????And you hear from another sub He knows differing stories on why He let you go......head games just to mess with your feelings or does he really want you back???? Do you allow Him to play with your emotions like that?? Being let go the first time REALLY hurt......

Any advice greately appreciated......

While I agree with what everyone else is saying...NO, don't take him back...I also think that you really need to base the decision on what's best for you. Obviously, we don't know the whole story of why he left, and why he wants to come back. Look at all the angles and make a decision based on that.

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 19

RE: should you take Him back or not?? - 1/28/2006 9:19:36 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

In my opinion, you should be respected and esteemed by the one you're with. I am not talking about being your being treated like a precious gift or some kind of Faberge egg sub, but you should not be treated like a backup unit. That is bullshit.

You should tell the guy to buzz off, and you should consider that a positive thing to do...something good you're doing for yourself as opposed to something negative.

(actually getting a bit of a flashback myself, Katy)

Bob

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 20

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