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Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 6:53:08 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		After seeing http://www.collarchat.com/m_555101/tm.htm and the subject coming up a few times in other threads, it made me wonder. Why does nobody accuse men who want to *give* anal sex to their female partner of being gay? After all, about as many gay guys like giving anal as getting it. If a guy wanted to give anal sex to another guy, it would still be a gay or bisexual or homoerotic activity. Of course, in my opinion, wanting to do *anything* with a member of the opposite gender isn't gay or lesbian.
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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:02:31 PM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline
quote:

Why does nobody accuse men who want to *give* anal sex to their female partner of being gay?


oh, it is suggested in "vanilla", that is asked often times than none about a man wanting to perform anal on a woman. some woman begin to question why he wants it and how he learned the interest...


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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:04:32 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Let's not for get the double standard of no one ( or few) thinking automatically that two women together is 'gay' vs. 'hot'. 

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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:06:18 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		hmmmm lemme think here  maybe cuz its with the opposite sex...I ll check and get back to you

BadOne


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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:08:14 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		ehhh two girls going at it.... gay... 2 guys taking turns up the ass... still gay.  2 bitches with da stud man  HOTTT!!!

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 4/2/2009 7:09:00 PM >

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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:15:32 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		In psychology, and particularly in psychoanalysis (pun not meant), it's frequently suggested that a  man's desire for anal sex is a homoerotic impulse. Much to the annoyance of straigher than straight guys who like to think of themselves as the pinnacle of heterosexuality  .

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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:23:14 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Yeah..Freud was never wrong about anything. Besides, from what I understand, once a man has experienced the joy and wonder of his prostate getting manipulated just so they pretty much couldn't care less who is doing it   

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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:30:02 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Actually Freud said that it is related to Dominance and submission.

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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:30:11 PM   
Vanityfull


Posts: 196
Joined: 3/6/2009
Status: offline 		...and a guy giving oral sex to a woman is totaly a lesbian!

i think people dont assotiate wanting anal with being gay as we have matured as a society to not jump to such conclusions (minus random foolish folks)

no sex act determines ones sexuality, what does make someone gay, straight or bi? the person saying that that is their sexuality, period. i find it a little odd that your wondering why no one is being accused as being gay.. that is a good thing, i doubt you meant it in any rude way or whatnot but you might wanna think of how you word these questions.


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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:34:16 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Too many people spend too much time worrying about the silliest things.  I don’t think it is attraction for an anus that determines if one is gay or straight.  Anal sex is an action, not a sexual orientation.
And my gut response is:  Bottom line <pun indeed intended!>  Who cares?

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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 7:36:04 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		I love the replies - it's funny, how it still makes people tick.

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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 8:21:03 PM   
LovingMistress45


Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanityfull

...and a guy giving oral sex to a woman is totaly a lesbian!

i think people dont assotiate wanting anal with being gay as we have matured as a society to not jump to such conclusions (minus random foolish folks)

no sex act determines ones sexuality, what does make someone gay, straight or bi? the person saying that that is their sexuality, period. i find it a little odd that your wondering why no one is being accused as being gay.. that is a good thing, i doubt you meant it in any rude way or whatnot but you might wanna think of how you word these questions.



I believe she is referencing a previous forum in which a straight male dom expressed a desire about having a female sub use a strap-on on him.  And that thread was not nice there was a lot of accusations that he was really gay or at least bi and certainly not dom, but sub or well maybe a switch. 

I am not sure why you think we have evolved as a society to not think that anal sex indicates a person (man) is gay or bi, because I think there are a large number that do.

So, I think her question is more why doesn't an interest in having anal with a woman (for a straight male) indicate he is gay if wanting anal from a woman means he is gay.

However, I totally agree with you that an action does not define a person's sexuality.  However, it seems to be the belief of a lot on here that it does.  Just look at the straight men sucking cock threads.

< Message edited by LovingMistress45 -- 4/2/2009 8:25:39 PM >

(in reply to Vanityfull)
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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 8:34:55 PM   
chiaThePet


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In a random survey, most guys didn't see it coming.

Same shit day in and day out.

chia* (the pet)


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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 8:54:04 PM   
Vanityfull


Posts: 196
Joined: 3/6/2009
Status: offline 		"So, I think her question is more why doesn't an interest in having anal with a woman (for a straight male) indicate he is gay if wanting anal from a woman means he is gay."

ahh, if that is the case i think its becuase recieving anal sex is a taboo for alot of guys, gay or straight. its often known as being the bitch of the relationship or the girl or w/e, where giving anal isnt being penatrated and is therfor more manly. this is even an issue amoung alot of gay men where bottoms(guys taking it) will state that the are versitile (will take or give) instead of just bottoms becuase of negative stigma that they are lesser men for enjoying recieving anal sex. gay is assotiated as weak among homophobic people alot of the time becuase of the fact some men like to be penatrated, therefor they are womanly and weaker becuase of it.



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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 8:55:56 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		A friend once said to me: "If my clit were on my head, I'd want someone to touch my head.  If my clit were on my big toe, I'd want someone to touch my big toe.  A man's G-spot is up his ass.  All those sub women with a problem can just grow up and touch his G-spot, or never ask for their own to be touched ever again."

I rode a strap-on once, 15 years ago, and it was ehhhh.  No urge to try again.  However, I must admit.... A switch friend of mine, who loves doing prostate massage, has been trying to talk me into it for a couple months now, and she's gotten me curious.  Watch, I'll finally say yes, and she'll respond that she was just flirting, and didn't really mean it. Serves me right.


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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 9:06:57 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		LovingMistress, that's exactly what I meant by it. I said in the original post that I don't think it's gay for men to do/want to do anything with women. I also wasn't talking about the vanilla world, but specifically posts here saying that men who want to get anal from women are gay or bisexual because of it, while men who want to give anal to women aren't.

Vanityfull, I guess that's understandable, but it still seems silly to me! I figure gay guys generally don't want to do anal sex (giving or getting) with a woman, and straight guys generally don't want anal sex with a man, either giving or getting. I don't perceive it as weak to be on the receiving end, but I know that some people do. Sure, there can be some exceptions, like "forced bisexuality" play, but that's not what I was intending to discuss.

For that matter, it strikes me as weird that straight men will use "cocksucker" as an insult toward other men, then want their wife or girlfriend to be one.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 4/2/2009 9:09:09 PM >

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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/2/2009 9:41:31 PM   
Vanityfull


Posts: 196
Joined: 3/6/2009
Status: offline 		grr my net killed my post!!

alot of homophobia comes from the premise of a male giving up his mascalinity and being the girl in a relationship, being the one penatrated or giving oral sex, a woman is often labled a slut for doing such things as well. its pretty fuckin stupid a male seeking sex and getting it is ok but who he gets oral or sex from is weak whorish or a fag, i guess its part of our societies stupid sex is conquest hooplah.

alot of gay guys i know are not terribly apossed to anal or sex with women, its common to hear of gay boys fooling around with their good girl freinds, depends on the person. i have known alot of gay men and lesbians getting together due to the fact that there is no real emotional attachment and its just for fun or whatnot. straight boys never want anything from other boys.. iv chased enough to know


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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/3/2009 3:27:45 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Too many people spend too much time worrying about the silliest things. I don’t think it is attraction for an anus that determines if one is gay or straight. Anal sex is an action, not a sexual orientation.
And my gut response is: Bottom line Who cares?


I agree with this 100%. Anal sex has nothing to do with being gay, it is an action, not a sexual orientation. If anal sex determines whether one is gay or not, we have a LOT of gay people running around (and that is not a bad thing).

~Lashra


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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/3/2009 3:53:40 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

ehhh two girls going at it.... gay... 2 guys taking turns up the ass... still gay.  2 bitches with da stud man  HOTTT!!!

BadOne


Hello sexy SailingBum,

I've done it with a hot sexy chick, but am still NOT GAY ! ya know,
did you ever hear of the term Bi??

Because I'm very bisexual

When guys take it up the ass, it doesn't mean they are gay at all,
I fuck all My submissive men, and no one was gay,
they can be bisexual too really !


Gay is loving the same gender, and want to b involved with only them!!

Alright?

Case closed.


I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`


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RE: Men, anal sex, and accusations of being gay - 4/3/2009 4:27:07 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm curious as to why you believe as many gay males like to give as do enjoy receiving. In the frustrated words of one of my old friends about other gay males "Everyone wants to be fucked, nobody wants to fuck". He was a bottom obviously (pun intended).

Beyond that, the definition of heterosexual is attraction to and sexual activities with the opposite sex.

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