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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 5:12:39 PM

Phoenixandnika

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Can't or wont?

Nika{Phoenix}

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 5:12:45 PM

Lordandmaster

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It is hard to walk away when you are in love.

But I'm a big hater of the victim game. Adults are responsible for their own choices. Someone who stays takes responsibility for staying. Someone who walks takes responsibility for walking.

quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Ya know, LAM, I've known subs that just can't walk away. Not sure why.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 5:12:57 PM

ScooterTrash

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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I have to admit when I have been to events, on both sides of the atlantic, I have noticed a preponderance of expensive SUVs and European luxury cars and Harley Davidisons which are posing bikes, you ride Japanese if you are really into bikes. Which is why I've noted my surprise at the number of people on CM say money isn't important. Maybe it is just the people I mix with but there does seem to be a class/status thing going on. But then there is in every walk of life so why should BDSM be different?

WTF is that supposed to mean?

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 5:17:51 PM

ShiftedJewel

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quote:

Harley Davidisons which are posing bikes, you ride Japanese if you are really into bikes.

Excuse me?? They say that imitation is the sincerest form of compliment... which may or may not explain why the Japanese bikes copy Harley. Dude... you just hit my ignore list.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 5:25:48 PM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I have to admit when I have been to events, on both sides of the atlantic, I have noticed a preponderance of expensive SUVs and European luxury cars and Harley Davidisons which are posing bikes, you ride Japanese if you are really into bikes. Which is why I've noted my surprise at the number of people on CM say money isn't important. Maybe it is just the people I mix with but there does seem to be a class/status thing going on. But then there is in every walk of life so why should BDSM be different?

WTF is that supposed to mean?

I guess he's not a Scottish Trials rider.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 5:32:12 PM

twicehappy

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Or a flat tracker either.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 5:42:41 PM

Phoenixandnika

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Next someone will compare a Harley to a Power Scooter!

*laughs*

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 5:46:28 PM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

Next someone will compare a Harley to a Power Scooter!

*laughs*

Nika{Phoenix}

I thought that is what it was.

The term rice burner for a Japanese bike is just a put down for superior machines.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/21/2006 6:13:16 PM

ScooterTrash

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quote:

The term rice burner for a Japanese bike is just a put down for superior machines.

I'm not going to drag this post off on a wild goose chase, so suffice to say, I disagree with you very strongly! That's kind of like saying it's not worth my effort, but it really IS another topic for another day.
As to the original point of your comment where you were saying that because of the vehicles seen at and around BDSM events, it seemed to imply that there is a preponderance of wealthy participants. I think there is really a broad spectrum of people from all walks of life and most income levels are likely represented at BDSM events. I've met folks from the top to the bottom of the food chain at these events. Certainly the cost can be prohibitive to some, but I don't think it strictly weeds out the working man from having an opportunity as well. No doubt the upper class elite vehicles would be more noticable than the the minivans and pickup trucks that are also in the parking garage, but I don't believe the vehicles are a good measure of who is attending.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/22/2006 7:09:57 AM

LaTigresse

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I have been following this thread off and on thru its many interesting tangents. It combined with a few others have truely given me reason to think about myself, my life, the people that have most influenced me and how it all continues to motivate me to grow and learn as a human being both in and out of this lifestyle. Now I have to give my wanted or unwanted 2 cents worth.... I came from a very VERY financially poor family, the oldest of six, daughter of two fairly disfunctional individuals yet never abused nor doubted I was very wanted and loved. I have worked from the age of 12 to gain the material things I wanted and feel that since I was born with a fairly good brain and a healthy body I should work. I have been relatively sucessful in life in more than just financial defination yet am certainly NOT wealthy. I have far more material means than I need and not a little credit card debt. I do not EVER determine another persons worth based on their income or what material posessions they have aquired and quite often find that those that define their own value based upon what "toys" they have to be some of the most boring individuals at any gathering. The odd thing is that the meager (in the big world picture of wealth) financial sucess I have had has distanced me more and more from my own family. I will never forget when I bought my first brand new truck and drove it down to a trail ride with old friends and family and recieved some of the most unexpected comments about now being "too good" to hang around a bunch of "poor people". Hell, I was just glad I had a vehicle that could enable me to pull my own weight in hauling gear and pulling a stock trailer instead of depending on others all the time. I then realized that it was their own insecurities being voiced and made an effort to show that, no, I did not feel in any way superior...it was just a truck. Then, a year or so later, I brought a friend to a similar event. Yes, she was wealthy and had nice things.....something that had nothing to do with her delightful personality. She was made to feel uncomfortable and I was not pleased with my family and later voiced that displeasure. Today I was reading and contemplating how is it that I was raised in the same enviroment as these people yet have a completely different outlook? I began to think back on the women in my life that have so influenced me in how I view people and the world. My grandmother, a lady in every sense of the word.....she never treated anyone with anything less that respect yet never tollerated anything less in her home. A wealthy widow woman that lived next door to a whitetrash family (mine) yet thru her travels and trust to take care of her home and plants while she was away made me feel special and important. Several female employers that showed me what I was capable of (whatever I set my mind to) and gave me (sometimes stern) guidance of good moral judgement and business behaviour. Several wonderful Dominas who's writing I have followed and learned from. I wish everyone had the good fortune to have learned from all these women because they have given me so much. More than any amount of money could possibly buy. Money or lack thereof, or the material posessions one has, has nothing to do with the measure of a true and honourable Dominant. It is how they carry themself in their daily life, how they handle life's challenges, how they treat others. And most importantly their willingness to admit when they are wrong and learn from those mistakes. To asess anyone by any other measure not only does them a grave disservice but yourself also.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/22/2006 7:12:14 AM

LaTigresse

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AGAIN........I somehow did the reply thingy when I just wanted to add to a post................Obviously my computer skills are not the best..........

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/22/2006 7:14:59 AM

bandit25

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I agree with you completely. There are people from all walks of life and from every income level. I don't judge anyone by the size of his or her wallet. A loving heart, a kind nature...those are my yardsticks.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/22/2006 7:20:57 AM

MsNightShade

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LaTigresse:

Thank you for your post. I couldnt have said it better myself. The measure of anyone is how they handle life..not money. Im not rich..probably never will be. Managing money is not my strong point..but I do the best I can. Its a fault of mine...Oh my god..because Im human. A hard thing for a Domina to be I suppose. However..it does not define my skills or my ability. Its just a personality trait.

I wish you well,

Ms NightShade

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/22/2006 7:33:45 AM

ClassAct2006

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People are attracted to others for all kinds of reasons. I personally prefer men who earn about what I do. I call it parity. It makes like simpler, fairer, easier. It's difficult if someone wouldn't dream of buying food out or taking a taxi cab when you wouldn't think twice about it. I have never been supported by a man even when I was married, having children and have always worked. In relation to my submissiveness, I submit to someone whom I feel is overall better than I am in a sense. I am afraid someone not in work just wouldn't do it for me; the feelings wouldn't flow; the control wouldn't be easy to cede; the possiblity of my being financially exploited would be too high.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/22/2006 9:39:03 AM

RumpusParable

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I'm in a position where I can make my choices somewhat freely, in ways others can't so well...

I have always sought a partner based on them rather than their money, BUT their job/career status is a generally good indicator of personality with most folks. There are exceptions, but that's why you ultimately take people on an individual basis.

I require both submissive and dominant partners to support themselves. If they can help me from time to time, great. I help my friends from time to time so that in return is a goodness. But I don't take someone of either polarity who can't make ends meet in the long-run (specifically that doesn't truly have the WILL to make ends meet).

Basically, I don't go looking for folks to leech on but I don't accept others leeching off me, either.

I have a low but steady income. I can cover my own basic necessities and occasionally some extras. If someone is looking for someone to support them, for whatever reason, then we are simply not a match and that's okay. We'll each continue our search.

The money issue isn't a big one to me. I don't have any problem with someone wanting to be a 24/7 house slave who doesn't have their own income so long as they find a partner who is mutually agreeable to that.... same with a dominant who wishes to be the king/queen of their home while the sub/slave's job is to bring in the cash. As long as the partners agree and are fine with the arrangement it's no skin off my nose!

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/22/2006 11:21:17 AM

ExistentialSteel

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First, I'm surprised that this thread is still around. I guess it is important to many and I'll state my views again. I do okay financially and have never asked for or been asked for money by the rich or poorer sub types I have known. I like what my hometown poster, Rumpus, just said. I, too, avoid those who don't have the will to make ends meet...just because.

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/26/2006 6:07:11 AM

Calandra

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Irritation alert: heavy sarcasm may follow....

I simply disagree with your logic. I am a lifestyle Mistress with a poly household. in December of 2003 I was in a car accident, and am disabled as a result. I simply cannot work, due to the injuries I received. Maybe if you were faced with that dilemma, you'd lovingly pack your subs off to someone else? I mean, you offer no qualifiers or disclaimers... you simply say that if someone is consistently having financial or health difficulties, they should not have slaves ?!?!

I feel so blessed to have two wonderful, SELF-SUFFICIENT, LOYAL, LOVING and DEVOTED people serving me. When I was down and unable to walk, they actually carried me to the bathroom and to any appointments I needed to get to. They cooked, cleaned, and bolstered my spirits daily, never allowing me to feel like a burden.

Aww thats different you may say... I mean anyone can have an accident, right?

According to your logic, even those who are beset by misfortune they didn't cause for themselves (through bad planning or mismanagement) can't conceivably bear the responsibility for another person... Bull hockey.

When the accident happened, I lost my home, my business and my pride. I learned that I DID need to ask for help and accept it with grace and dignity. I learned that the people I invested time and emotion in would stand by me regardless of how long this took. They work outside the home, I can't... guess what? I do dishes, laundry, financial planning, child care for the sub who's a single mom, social planning, and much more. I mail the birthday and anniversary cards. I make the menus and shopping lists even when I'm unable to do the shopping myself.

I earn my way every single day even on days my pain level is too high to get out of bed. I make sure to keep my fingers on the pulse of my family, because THATS what a dominant does. I am just as responsible for my family today as I ever was. I simply EXPRESS it differently than I did before.

Yanno, I agree that a Dominant should not be lazy or slovenly. I believe that they should shoulder the most responsibility they can because slaves are a precious, awe inspiring part of our lives. But to make a blanket statement that reflects ignorance and insensitivity to the situations of many many of my Brothers and Sisters in Dominance is unfair and cruel.

My Dominance is just as valid today as it EVER was, thankyouverymuch!

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/26/2006 6:23:54 AM

FootQueen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Irritation alert: heavy sarcasm may follow....

I simply disagree with your logic. I am a lifestyle Mistress with a poly household. in December of 2003 I was in a car accident, and am disabled as a result. I simply cannot work, due to the injuries I received. Maybe if you were faced with that dilemma, you'd lovingly pack your subs off to someone else? I mean, you offer no qualifiers or disclaimers... you simply say that if someone is consistently having financial or health difficulties, they should not have slaves ?!?!

I feel so blessed to have two wonderful, SELF-SUFFICIENT, LOYAL, LOVING and DEVOTED people serving me. When I was down and unable to walk, they actually carried me to the bathroom and to any appointments I needed to get to. They cooked, cleaned, and bolstered my spirits daily, never allowing me to feel like a burden.

Aww thats different you may say... I mean anyone can have an accident, right?

According to your logic, even those who are beset by misfortune they didn't cause for themselves (through bad planning or mismanagement) can't conceivably bear the responsibility for another person... Bull hockey.

When the accident happened, I lost my home, my business and my pride. I learned that I DID need to ask for help and accept it with grace and dignity. I learned that the people I invested time and emotion in would stand by me regardless of how long this took. They work outside the home, I can't... guess what? I do dishes, laundry, financial planning, child care for the sub who's a single mom, social planning, and much more. I mail the birthday and anniversary cards. I make the menus and shopping lists even when I'm unable to do the shopping myself.

I earn my way every single day even on days my pain level is too high to get out of bed. I make sure to keep my fingers on the pulse of my family, because THATS what a dominant does. I am just as responsible for my family today as I ever was. I simply EXPRESS it differently than I did before.

Yanno, I agree that a Dominant should not be lazy or slovenly. I believe that they should shoulder the most responsibility they can because slaves are a precious, awe inspiring part of our lives. But to make a blanket statement that reflects ignorance and insensitivity to the situations of many many of my Brothers and Sisters in Dominance is unfair and cruel.

My Dominance is just as valid today as it EVER was, thankyouverymuch!

APPLAUSE!! WELL SPOKEN

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/26/2006 7:34:42 AM

Calandra

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I agree wholeheartedly. I've discovered since my accident that there are really a lot of different, interesting ways to entertain my family that costs next to nothin'

We have a dollar theater here... the paper has a calendar for free concerts, poetry readings, dog shows, children's theater, local symphony, etc.

Did you know that you can often volunteer to help set up when a travelling band or theater troupe is in town, and are usually invited to attend the dress rehearsal that's held in the afternoon? Art galleries sometimes host wine and cheese receptions when a new show opens. And it never costs anything to pack a picnic and fins a spot of grass somewhere....

My point is, when you get out and do these things, you and your family get a break from the everyday routine, meet new people who share similar interests, and rarely get looked down upon because RICH PEOPLE attend this stuff... LOL (they're just called "patrons of the arts")

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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/26/2006 7:51:32 AM

Calandra

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Hello Dear Friend,

I had to ring in here... I can understand what Ironbear and others decribe about being shunned or not taken seriously by the BDSM community.

You know as well as I do that most events at 1763 in Atlanta are $15-30 per person (slightly less each for couples). Using the $20 figure, if Me, cubby and nomi decided to got to a routine Saturday night event, it would cost $60 at the door, $20 in gas, We'd have to eat out since the event is 1 1/2 hours away that would be $45-60 if we eat at a moderate restaurant. Now My figures add up (so far) to $125 for ONE EVENING.

Now if you keep up with some of the local E-groups, some people are there EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Sometimes they go Friday and Saturday, reserving a room and staying overnight.

I can imagine that I'm not taken as "seriously" as someone who's out there strutting like a peacock every weekend.

I'm not saying it's "right", I'm just saying it happens. I'm glad that such things don't really matter overmuch to me and mine. I find other ways to be available and useful through mentoring, and hosting small local gatherings in my home. I've been so richly rewarded with friends like You and your katt, that I can't complain about not being able to justify the expense of the Atlanta scene.

~warm smiles~
My love to You and yours

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