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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 6:49:32 AM

MissJanice2

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In all my learning over the past five years, the one true thing I have learned is there is no absoulute in BDSM.
If a Dom/me wants to wear a collar, then wear it.

Best Wishes,

MJ

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 6:53:26 AM

marie2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venalismihi

Ornamented chokers [no slave ring attached] are not collars. Ask what a wedding ring means... the collar is the same for me.

I kind of associate those (collars with the ring) more with "players", as I think just about everyone owns one and has worn it in during "play" for various purposes even if they're not owned.

I don't really run in bdsm circles myself, so maybe I'm just not in the know, but of the subs/slaves that I've seen in commited relationships wearing a daily collar, most are wearing something far less conspicous than a typical slave collar with the ring on it.

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 6:55:23 AM

colouredin

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Yeah the big bulky black leather things are play collars to me too Marie.

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 6:57:53 AM

Venalismihi

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"MissJanice2 no absolute in BDSM"
Correct however, for the old and potentially senile, such as myself, there used to be protocol and etiquette that those who followed the lifestyle adhered to and that gave us all a guideline to follow and not to cross. Much as traffic lights and speed restrictions. Where would we be without them? Those who j-walk and exceed, usually get hurt. I liked knowing what was what.

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:00:44 AM

LATEXBABY64

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yes this is very true like thos that keep trying to put the square peg in the round hole it just does not work

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:01:28 AM

MsFlutter

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From time to time, I wear a very nice chevron collar just because I choose to. I don't concern myself with those considering it appropriate/inappropriate. To me, it is a piece of jewelry that happens to fit my mood and/or the circumstances (and one that I'd have difficulty wearing anywhere else !)

I don't cruise public gatherings hoping to recruit so, while I acknowledge that someone wears a collar, I'm not mentally dissecting the biography behind it.

I've no opinion on all the other items. Who they are, what they wear, how often they go where they do and the dynamic they embrace in their daily routine are things I don't even worry about. Everybody fits WIITWD into their lives however it works for them.

< Message edited by MsFlutter -- 4/8/2009 7:05:04 AM >

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:03:23 AM

colouredin

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Venalisishi what is the worst that happens without knowing who is and isnt owned? To me the symbols are for those in a relationship, not anyone else, the only purpose I see in a club is that if you arent wearing a collar then you are fair game, that to me is more risky.

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:09:01 AM

LATEXBABY64

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if your just going to crap on the lifestyle do not be apart of it. bottom line some things have value. Guess some people do not understand. The point of it is we kinda of have like brands of food. If they change the brand how would know what was what . For example A bean is a bean but still comes in different types but still a bean We have coffee beans jelly beans coco beans baked beans. green beans but still a bean and how can we tell what kinda of bean it is cause we label it so

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 4/8/2009 7:15:59 AM >

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:14:41 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

if your just going to crap on the lifestyle do not be apart of it. bottom line some things have value. Guess some people do not understand. kinda of brands of food if they change the brand how would know what was what a bean is a bean but still comes in different types but still a bean we have coffee beans jelly beans coco beans baked beans. green beans but still a bean and how can we tell what kinda of bean it is cause we label it so

Umm duh a collar has different meanings too, just like your bean analogy so well done on proving my point. And if we all have to agree then I dont really want to be part of any 'lifestyle' because well I am able to have my own opinions, magic that

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:17:08 AM

Venalismihi

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colouredin it is Venalismihi not ishi. I will return to the wedding ring. Not only does this symbol let the two know to whom they belong [but let's face it they were both at the ceremony, so why would they need the rings] it lets the rest of the world know that they are betrothed to someone else and not for the taking.

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:19:07 AM

LATEXBABY64

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and while your doing seletive reading Your should really understand the point being that a slave and sub and dom domme have labels so we can know the differences how do you like them bananas

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:20:01 AM

colouredin

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Sorry, I was typing it out and clearly misread it.

Yeah but I find wedding rings fairly outdated too I think the important thing is what they mean to each other. I just think in a play enviroment it sometimes feels safer to have the collar on, when I was new I wore them all the time, I was travelling to new cities to go to parties alone and I had previously had bad groping experiences in nilla pubs so I really didnt want to risk it, I think it has a place in that capacity

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:23:07 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

and while your doing seletive reading Your should really understand the point being that a slave and sub and dom domme have labels so we can know the differences how do you like them bananas

Yup and we pick which applies to us, hell some people are switch too, things arent always cut and dry. A collar isnt the same as a D/s label, its a piece of clothing, I have never had a collar and yet have been in many D/s relationships, each person chooses what they want its not a list of tick boxes that must apply so that we can be iniated into the group

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:25:42 AM

Venalismihi

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colouredin, which proves that the symbol not only has meaning but works. You used it to ward off those whom you chose not to have bother you?!
This is what it used to let us all know. Who could be approached with a clear conscience and those who could not.

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:30:26 AM

DiurnalVampire

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What Fox wears as a collar would not be seen as many as one. But it is, and so it is one for us. If I were to wear a choker of any kind and some Dominant saw it and assumed it was a collar and therefore that I was submissive, that is their perceptions of it. They could also see Fox, and not percieve his as one, which would mean the assumption was he was my dominant... Do we see where perceptions make this difficult?

Wear what you want, you are dominant. Just dont be put off when someone else sees it and might make assumptions about you. Its like wearing a shirt for the Yankees, people are going to assume that means you are a fan, not that you might have grabbed whatever shirt was clean on your significant others side of the closet that morning. Wearing something you know is a symbol doesnt make you what it symbolizes, but it might make others assume you are.

DV

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:34:28 AM

LATEXBABY64

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I do not agree with you there has to be rules to the game or it is just cheating and not worth playing

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:35:48 AM

colouredin

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Well thats cool for you, you play your game and ill live my life

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 7:39:03 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars?

i wear collars both from Daddy and my pet ...sometimes, i lead my pet around by his collar and leash. i have no problems with dominants wearing a collar - whatever floats their boat.

quote:

How do you feel about unowned people wearing collars in public venues?

how do you know they're unowned? do they have a huge sign plastered on their forehead that states "unowned"? wearing collars these days are quite fashionable especially in the gay community. i've seen collars at metal/punk/industrial rock shows.

quote:

Do you think we should strive for a more unified culture in public space?

why - what makes us the kink community so special from others?

quote:

Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned?

nope

quote:

What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else?

none of my business what other people do. my business is what goes on between myself and Daddy/myself and my pet.

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 8:29:45 AM

MsDDom

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quote:

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars? i have seen it, especially in some Old Guard men for instance...i suppose this is how they want to subtly express what they r into (the lifestyle)...a calling card if u will. i am middle ground on feelings about--i think.
How do you feel about unowned people wearing collars in public venues? see, that piggy backs my final say above, some use it as a calling card...as way to garner attention. but, on this one, i might feel it shouldnt be worn by the unowned.
Do you think we should strive for a more unified culture in public space? yes
Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned? actually, yes--that is the irony of the above #2 question.
What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else? this lifestyle often is what it is--some people just want to play it for a little bit and leave it alone. it is like sticking ur toe in the swimming to test the temp.

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RE: Dominants Wearing Collars - 4/8/2009 9:15:12 AM

MarcEsadrian

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

[The trend of the young wearing collars (usually procured from such prestigious sources as Hot Topic) as a fashion statement amuses me.

Why does it amuse you? I have been pondering this over night as you do and I had a look in my wardrobe to find I have a wonderful white shirt, on the back has a large blue number 9 and above that the name Beckham. I dont play football, this to me is no different.

Why do so many analogies come back to football? Rest assured, I find team numbers and names stamped across shirts in general society equally amusing, if not irksome. You might feel the same way about suits and ties. Don't mind me and my opinions; I'd never foist my tastes on the rest of society even if I could, but the little corner of the world that is mine is most certainly a dictatorship.

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