how to punish a masochistic slave? (Full Version)

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masmiss -> how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 4:41:59 AM)

I will soon be the owner of a very masochistic male slave.   This is my first experience in slave ownership and I need any advice I can get.  Obviously, corporal punishment is something he lives for and I happen to enjoy dishing out.  However, can any of you experienced Ladies give me some advice on punishment that will be effective in training rather than something this boy sees as a "reward" in a sense?



colouredin -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 4:46:02 AM)

As a sub, knowing something is a punishment is punishment enough, someone on here always used to say 'he could hurt me with a feather'



peppermint -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 6:45:55 AM)

The harshest punishment I get is to not be allowed to read books for a certain number of days.  For a reading addict, that punishment is nearly nearly unbearable.



MaamJay -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 7:23:22 AM)

I would steer clear of anything involving pain as punishment, on the chance that he may not have the same mindset as colouredin and secretly enjoy it. That only encourages continued bad behaviour. In My experience, I have found that girl subs are more likely to beat themselves up when they have done wrong (and therefore would feel emotional pain during punishment), whereas boy subs are more likely to bluster and try to bullshit their way out of it. (A generalisation I know ... but it's what I have observed).

Try revoking privileges such as no TV, computer time, books, games ... whatever it is he enjoys. (I took away My ex-hub's high heels for a week once ... that hurt!)
Try setting extra tasks and be ultra efficient in checking that they have been done to exacting standards.
If he's a fairly typical male (yes, warning, another generalisation alert!) he probably won't enjoy extended writing tasks ... so making him write a 300+ word essay on what he did wrong, why he did it wrongly, the impact this has had on You and him, and how he will better respond in future (yes, you'll probably need to give him those headings as a guide!), could be a really cruel task!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



Drifa -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 7:24:19 AM)

Corner time. Any time that you are sent away from your dominant is unhappy feeling. Worst of all is that quiet, "You have disappointed me, get into your corner."



stella41b -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 9:00:49 AM)

This



MissMorrigan -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 9:12:58 AM)

I never use pain of any kind as a form of punishment with Reality. He is quite gobby at times despite my having reminded him, if he does it a second time it warrants a punishment which could be any of, but not restricted to, the following:

*I prevent him from accessing the internet for a set period which hits him hard;
*banning the use of the Xbox or any other of his/our games consoles;
* banning him from dressing in the clothes that he loves - he must cast off what I consider 'outdoors' clothes and wear feminine attire - so in tis instance as part of a punishment he'd be naked which he doesn't like - this is another punishment that upsets him;
*adding extra chores especially if they are messy
*If he has really crossed a line he shouldn't have - no getting into bed with me at night, it's the floor for a set period of days.

Edited to add: Apologies for the rushed reply. I would have liked to elaborate and may come back to this later.



masmiss -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 9:26:31 AM)

thanks for the very helpful reply.  I am a sadist and flog my slave.  Should this be done only when he has been a good boy since he lives for his floggings.



LadyPact -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 9:40:40 AM)

I tend to pick subs who have all had one trait.  The worst part of any punishment to them is the fact that I am disappointed in their behavior.  This is a little different than the generalization that MaamJay refers to, but it has been consistent in all of My males.  It hits home and it hits hard.

It's rare for Me to punish.  I am more the type that it's only applied when there is something going on that can not be tolerated in the dynamic.  I'm also a firm believer that the punishment should be specifically related to the infraction, so I'm afraid I'm not much help for ideas when I don't know what the circumstances of the situation.



simpleplan2 -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 9:46:29 AM)

How do you know he is going to "need" to be punished?  I honestly don't get that...I don't mean just this post, but in general.  It seems to me that many dominants go into a relationship assuming that punishment is a definite.  Can anyone explain why?



masmiss -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 10:22:09 AM)

I already know he will be a challenge.  he is an alpha male in the vanilla world and very powerful in his profession.  It's going to be difficult for him to let that go in the beginning.



colouredin -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 11:59:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I tend to pick subs who have all had one trait. The worst part of any punishment to them is the fact that I am disappointed in their behavior. This is a little different than the generalization that MaamJay refers to, but it has been consistent in all of My males. It hits home and it hits hard.



That was what I was trying to say, only not as eloquently the idea of disapointing is for me the hardest thing to cope with.

There are loads of way to punish, take away something he really likes etc (I would recoment promising to not flog him or whatever but of course you dont want the punishment to put you out)



MissEnchanted -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 12:07:48 PM)

Masmiss,

This is a great question you asked and the answers I have seen so far sound like really good advice.

Banishment for any period of time is the worst punishment imo.

Other punishments I like to use are specific to fit the crime and varies with the circumstance.

Ignoring and banishment are two excellent tools after you are already close with someone and are deeply embedded within their mind and heart.

Me





Lockit -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 12:16:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

How do you know he is going to "need" to be punished?  I honestly don't get that...I don't mean just this post, but in general.  It seems to me that many dominants go into a relationship assuming that punishment is a definite.  Can anyone explain why?


I really don't think of punishment.  I can hand it out if need be, but I don't want there to be a need.  I let people know that I want a calm life and if they have anything about them that will make my life not calm or they have ignored personal problems too long or bring drama... they need to go play somewhere else.  If I have to punish often... they are gone.

But when I do need to correct someone, it is swift and not anything close to something they will enjoy.  I expect without fancy demands... compliance.



dreamerdreaming -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 12:22:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

How do you know he is going to "need" to be punished?  I honestly don't get that...I don't mean just this post, but in general.  It seems to me that many dominants go into a relationship assuming that punishment is a definite.  Can anyone explain why?


My thoughts, exactly. I wouldn't take on a slave who would be willingly disobedient. That alone would make us incompatible.

My slave and I don't have a reward/punishment dynamic. It just isn't necessary, and it doesn't fit our needs.

Now, funishment, yes. That is yummy for both of us. But that's a different subject.



AlexandraLynch -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 12:29:07 PM)

Here are two observations I have had. One is that there is going to be something even the masochist dislikes....maybe because being hit with it isn't "right" to get them off....but experience will tell you what it is and then you can use it.

Or maybe the big bad masochist just can't deal with folding socks. But there will be something. There is always something.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 12:43:11 PM)

I refuse to get into a relationship with someone who thinks ignoring their partner when displeased is a good idea. For me it just does not work and you'll come back to a worsly behaved person, if I want to you to  come back at all.  But I hear it works marvelously for others, I just refuse to engage in that lil game.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted


Ignoring and banishment are two excellent tools after you are already close with someone and are deeply embedded within their mind and heart.

Me






Lashra -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 12:53:29 PM)

Doing research and writing a 5 page essay does wonders for a masochistic slave. I own a maso sub and he hates doing essays, hence why I make him do them. If I were to spank his ass, it would not be punishment at all because he loves it, but if I make him write he really feels punished.

~Lashra



dreamerdreaming -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 12:59:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I refuse to get into a relationship with someone who thinks ignoring their partner when displeased is a good idea. For me it just does not work and you'll come back to a worsly behaved person, if I want to you to  come back at all.  But I hear it works marvelously for others, I just refuse to engage in that lil game.

quote:



Every time someone suggests ignoring as a punishment, I'm mystified because as a sub this would be to heartbreaking for me to take, and it would just royally piss me off. I would have to leave the relationship. Its a total deal-breaker. I think its cruel and immature.

So remember, if you do this to your sub you may precipitate an end to the relationship. If you would risk that, then you might as well just go ahead and end the relationship yourself, instead of playing games.


If you want to effect change, give your slave a consequence that is related to the offending behaviour, and will help them learn how to avoid repeating it.





Lockit -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/11/2009 1:00:52 PM)

I love the writing assignments too!  It is something that I can see more of him in and something I can keep and bring out when the time might be right.  If they enjoy writing... I need an extra spin on it or to find something else for them, but many hate writing assignments and will avoid them at all cost.  I will give writing assignments to some degree anyway, but they are different and more in the beginning, so punishment with them is different and far less grace when not done properly.



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