RE: how to punish a masochistic slave?

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SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/22/2009 9:27:21 PM)
From the Shakespeare thread.... I could never get into Bill's work, pure torture for me. If I was a masochist, and someone wanted to torture me in a meaningful way, a book report on Shakespeare would surely do the trick.

cbtok -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/23/2009 4:43:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressRouge Now that is a rarity, I have yet to play with a masochist that enjoys the cane [:D] A pity you're in the UK.

MissDaisy6767 -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/23/2009 8:19:11 PM)
I have heard that lack of attention or a soft spanking can be punishment.. given that a masochist wants attention or the harder spanking

MistressRouge -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/24/2009 3:18:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cbtok quote: ORIGINAL: MistressRouge Now that is a rarity, I have yet to play with a masochist that enjoys the cane [:D] A pity you're in the UK. Thankyou [:D]

MistressRouge -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/24/2009 3:21:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissDaisy6767 I have heard that lack of attention or a soft spanking can be punishment.. given that a masochist wants attention or the harder spanking Great answer [:)] Yes, a light/soft approach to activities, will maybe add to the frustration, and deem as a punishment, great idea.

SnowRanger -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/24/2009 4:43:58 PM)
Beat me! Beat me! NO!

SirJ40 -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/25/2009 4:55:26 AM)
Punishing a maso.. hmm... oh yeah! Don't. Don't administer pain. Don't actually "do" anything. Just tell him "I'm disappointed. Go away for a while". And ignore him. Don't know if it will work in your situation.. but I've seen it work before! Cheers!

johnsub9az -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/26/2009 7:45:21 PM)
You have to be careful with ignoring as a punishment. It's extremely painful to the sub/slave, (and the more he cares about you, and the more he wants to be better and not need to get punished, the worse it will hurt), and despite the emotional brutality of this punishment, it's very easy to administer in great quantities without realizing it. You can very easily wind up with a slave that's terrified of you in an unhealthy way, or with a self-hating manic depressive for a slave.

DemonKia -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/26/2009 8:56:31 PM)
Ignoring the problem behavior, especially when it's attention seeking, I've used that effectively, but I tend to think that ignoring the person is a severe consequence. While the tough-love backstop of walking away is always there, needing to bring it out says something to me about what's going on with the relationship. I tend to avoid thinking in the punishment paradigm, I find the reward model more useful. Masochists are rewardable with the pain & etc of their choice. I prefer to focus on what I want, & reward that. I have enormous issues with the very concept of punishment, even in a role-play scenario it kinda squicks me . .. . .. & when I see profiles that go on & on about about punishing & correcting & catching infractions & so on, total turn-off. Next. Life is full of 'natural consequences' & so much of my 'disciplinary' stuff is about hooking into that natural flow . .. One of the 'natural consequences' of crossing me is that I get annoyed, & no one I know enjoys having me annoyed with them -- I get anywhere from pissy & bitchy & all that to cold detached ice princess. & I've got one hell of a talent for figuring out people's hot buttons, what's taboo, what really works their nerves, & so on. Conversely, I've some talent for figuring out if I'm 'giving' someone satisfaction, & of 'shutting that down', if necessary . ... . I also tend to lecture, & that can to send them running for the exits if they've got the ability . .. . . I find that lots don't enjoy having unpleasant truths explained rationally & reasonably, consequences delineated, & so on . . . . . Oh. & another important chunk for me is structuring the interactions, planning ahead of time, etc, so as to stave off opportunities for anything but desirable behavior. I'm the top / dominant. I'm in charge. It's up to me to be pre-emptive & know my bottom / sub & anticipate what all is gonna go on. To negotiate. Communicate throughout. Adjust accordingly. I require large amounts of alone time, so anyone at all only gets a little bit of me; I expect them to treasure what I give 'em . .. ..

johnsub9az -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/26/2009 9:10:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemonKia I require large amounts of alone time, so anyone at all only gets a little bit of me; I expect them to treasure what I give 'em . .. .. Do you mind if I ask you roughly how much time you dedicate to a sub you're in an exclusive relationship with (not just play partners)? I understand if you don't want to say.

DemonKia -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/26/2009 9:31:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: johnsub9az Do you mind if I ask you roughly how much time you dedicate to a sub you're in an exclusive relationship with (not just play partners)? I understand if you don't want to say. Ya can ask me anything. This is more theoretical, understand, cuz I've mostly sorta had play partners & mostly vanilla boyfriends & lady friends ..... The quick pithy is however much time we decide we need to spend on us . . .. .. But, off the top of my head, I figure I'm good for roughly 2 to 4 hours a day of more intensive interactions, & with a day or two out of each week where I'm interested / available for most of the day . . . . lol . .. . . I could live with someone, but they have to go do something most days & leave me to my stuff, or be exceptionally unobtrusive . . . . . lol

johnsub9az -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/26/2009 9:37:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DemonKia But, off the top of my head, I figure I'm good for roughly 2 to 4 hours a day of more intensive interactions, & with a day or two out of each week where I'm interested / available for most of the day . . . . lol . .. . . I could live with someone, but they have to go do something most days & leave me to my stuff, or be exceptionally unobtrusive . . . . . lol Thanks for your answer, that sounds very reasonable.

keensmith -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (8/17/2009 5:17:17 AM)
Hello

Andalusite -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (8/17/2009 7:46:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Drifa quote: ORIGINAL: MistressRouge Now that is a rarity, I have yet to play with a masochist that enjoys the cane [:D] "Enjoy" isn't exactly it. While it's happening it's OMFG painful. But afterwards - that's nirvana. There's also a lot of pleasure in submitting, and knowing that it is something my Lady enjoys doing. There is something really good about the submission itself, the thing that goes on in my head when I realize this IS going to happen, I AGREED to have it happen, and no, the bonds are not going to give if I change my mind when the cane comes a-whistlin' down. If you like sensation play of any kind, then punishment pretty much has to be something else. I was fortunate that the people who "introduced me" to the cane and single tail did it in a way that I enjoyed, even though I had marks for a week or two. They're two of my favourite toys to experience, and even if I'm crying, I usually still enjoy it while it is happening. I prefer thuddy canes (the thicker ones) to thinner ones, but with the right approach, I can handle them as well. Most toys can be used in a way that's too hard for me/over my pain tolerance, especially with no warmup, but I can't predict how I'll react, and I generally like to take pain for my partner. So, in order to hurt me enough for it to be a punishment, he would have to use it hard enough for it to actually frighten me of him/and or that particular toy in a way that would make me wary of playing with him in other ways. MaamJay, one of the two times I was punished (by my previous boyfriend/Dominant), I did enjoy what he was doing, while he was doing it, even though it made me cry at the time. I felt really guilty because I wasn't supposed to like it, and it left me really feeling weird and guilty/otherwise mixed feelings when I played with him for a couple of weeks afterward. ShiftedJewel, I did bring up punishment with my Master shortly after we started dating, but to clarify my past experiences. He decided that non-physical punishment, if needed, would be more suitable. Of course, I don't want to disappoint him in any way, and do my best. When I had a submissive in the past, I didn't use any formal punishment. When I had a problem with his behaviour, I discussed it with him, maybe a bit of a scolding, but usually telling him not to do it again worked.

FullCircle -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (8/17/2009 7:58:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky From the Shakespeare thread.... I could never get into Bill's work, pure torture for me. If I was a masochist, and someone wanted to torture me in a meaningful way, a book report on Shakespeare would surely do the trick. I was going to say dig a big hole in the garden and bury them alive but then I suppose we all have our own perspective. [8\|] As others have alluded to: frustration is the best approach imueo.

SLAVEBOY32 -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (8/17/2009 4:21:41 PM)
This is an old thread, and by this time I am sure the OP no longer needs input. But this is very interesting to me. I am a maso. I definitely would not classify myself as a hardcore one, but I definitely like pain inflicted and do feel unfulfilled if I go without it for too long. It is interesting to me, to read over and over, how many masos do not like to be ignored. I agree, this is the ABSOLUTE worst punishment you could administer to me. Is this a commonality we all have, do we all crave attention from one special person? So much so that it crushes us to have it jerked away? Someone else brought up a good point, I never had this inflited as a punishment, but when I read it I instantly could see a "light" pain infliction of some kind, being a punishment for me. This would leave me feeling so unfulfilled that it would be extremely frustrating. Sort of like no orgasm. (In my head I would instantly be thinking, could you please finish what you started and break me please? lol)

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