RE: how to punish a masochistic slave?

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YourhandMyAss -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/13/2009 4:06:10 PM)
Or, they could have some fantasy idea of what it's like to have a domme, from badly written porn and expect that it's just normally for the domme to hand out random punishment for every little breath out of place? quote: ORIGINAL: beeble quote: ShiftedJewel wrote: I'm wondering the same thing... but I have to admit that many subs I have talked to one of the first questions they ask is "How will you punish me?" My reply is "Do you plan on acting out intentionally?" That always throws them off some. Given that they're thrown off by your response, I guess they were planning on acting out. On the other hand, somebody could ask the question to test compatibility. I certainly wouldn't be interested in serving somebody in a punishment-oriented dynamic. beeble.

RumpusParable -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/13/2009 4:39:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masmiss I will soon be the owner of a very masochistic male slave. This is my first experience in slave ownership and I need any advice I can get. Obviously, corporal punishment is something he lives for and I happen to enjoy dishing out. However, can any of you experienced Ladies give me some advice on punishment that will be effective in training rather than something this boy sees as a "reward" in a sense? I'm ure this has all been gone over by now, but: Find out if he's like so many of us that have "happy pain" and "unhappy pain". I love getting beat when it's not from being bad somehow... I can't let anyone even touch me in displeasure. Then there's just plain find out what they don't like... time out, nasty or weird foods, whatever.

masmiss -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/13/2009 5:02:51 PM)
I hope, sincerely, not to have to punish my slave. I only want to have something in mind if it comes up. I have not been in the lifestyle very long so I sought advice here. But, as another poster had said in another thread, there will be so many different responses that it can become overwhelming. So, I thank everyone who responded. I will have to evaluate any situation that comes up in my new relationship and try to do the right thing.

MissJanice2 -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/14/2009 7:01:56 AM)
This is an easy one for me. I have had a maso slave for five years. The best punishment for him is no punishment or no time with his Mistress. They crave pain. For punishment purposes, pain is out of the question. *Best Wishes,* MJ

MistressRouge -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/14/2009 1:42:54 PM)
Have fun [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: masmiss After reading all the replies to my original post I have to say that I believe ignoring my boy would be the best punishment. I know it will pain him to know he displeased me. I am giving MistressRouge's suggestion of tickling a serious thought, too. [sm=smile.gif]

DesFIP -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/14/2009 6:31:18 PM)
Well, if he blew you off after agreeing to do something, I would imagine that not getting any play time because he has to spend that time catching up on what he didn't do would be punishment enough.Eventually he'll learn that if 8 - 10 is play time, but he isn't getting played with because he is doing the dishes and scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush then if he wants play he needs to get stuff done in a timely manner.

MadameMarque -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/15/2009 9:52:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kita quote: ORIGINAL: masmiss After reading all the replies to my original post I have to say that I believe ignoring my boy would be the best punishment. I know it will pain him to know he displeased me. I am giving MistressRouge's suggestion of tickling a serious thought, too. [sm=smile.gif] Here's one "nay" for using the silent treatment as punishment. Feeling hurt/sad/angry and walking away for a bit to gather your thoughts (or what have you) is one thing, but systematic non-communication is choosing not to address what the problem is or how to go about avoiding the issue in the future. It teaches the person you're with that when they upset or disappoint you, you're going to abandon them and personally I think people have enough abandonment issues as to not need that used as a means of training or conditioning in hope of behaviour modification. Which would you prefer happen, somebody change their behaviour so that you will communicate with them again, or because they understand what they did wrong? I've used corner time before but I never saw that as being a method of ignoring someone. I've told somebody to go and think about what they did/didn't do but I never said they were banned from talking/writing/contacting me for X amount of time. Having a discussion about why I am angry/hurt/bothered is taking the situation head-on instead of stuffing it under the rug and acting like not talking about it will make things change. I will admit that I'm extremely biased when it comes to this because I was raised with the 'silent treatment' for whatever perceived wrong I'd done. I wasn't raised to be the communicator I am now, but I find happiness is far more attainable via talking about things rather than shutting down. My bias has nothing to do with D/s but I know the pain of being shut out and that's not a pain I'd wish or cause anyone I claimed to care about, especially not unless it was something so egregious that the whole relationship was threatened (and I think that would go back to needing time to process anger/hurt/frustration etc.) -Kita- Yes, don't punish with withdrawal. Ignoring someone and refusing to communicate with them is rejection and abandonment. It may not seem harsh, but when someone important to you treats you in these ways, it's emotionally abusive. To train: Guidance and communication informs the underling of their goal or target behaviour. Positive reinforcement trains. Punishment corrects and shepherds the underling back on track. If you lean on punishment to form behaviour, it will have ill results. To answer your original question: I saw the author Laura Antoniou speak on this subject and she recommends torturing them with tedium. Masochists (and, well, most of us in the lifestyle) are stimulation junkies. Make them do something that's hideously boring and distasteful to them. Her example was when she required a slave who was an accomplished chef to take basic cooking classes. This both humbled and bored the slave severely.

MissEnchanted -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/15/2009 12:29:56 PM)
quote: Her example was when she required a slave who was an accomplished chef to take basic cooking classes. This both humbled and bored the slave severely. Omg! That is so funny! [:D]

Lockit -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/15/2009 1:31:10 PM)
LOL... I love it! Perfect mind fuck and punishment!

novak -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/18/2009 9:51:33 AM)
crack his nuts util boy scream and passes out

masmiss -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/18/2009 10:03:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: novak crack his nuts util boy scream and passes out He'd probably love it. lol

novak -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/18/2009 10:08:05 AM)
after a couple of days cracking boys i sure boy will obey .Mistress you could do it really slow and watch boy face and see the pain in he eyes.

mantis66 -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/18/2009 6:40:03 PM)
to a pain slut physical is not punishment but avenue to subspace. for DUI after going through normal process, a Ds punishment is due but what form? a slutty dress with no undies to perform a tease at pick up joint. in tears safe word in car, turned around home. did obey and perform weeks later. most horrible thing in life to painslut. punishment not always physical, needs to suit deed and personality.

Drifa -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/19/2009 9:06:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressRouge Now that is a rarity, I have yet to play with a masochist that enjoys the cane [:D] Sensation play is also great, electrics, needleplay, and even something like tickling can be an unexpected torture. "Enjoy" isn't exactly it. While it's happening it's OMFG painful. But afterwards - that's nirvana. There's also a lot of pleasure in submitting, and knowing that it is something my Lady enjoys doing. There is something really good about the submission itself, the thing that goes on in my head when I realize this IS going to happen, I AGREED to have it happen, and no, the bonds are not going to give if I change my mind when the cane comes a-whistlin' down. Then the time afterwards being held and having icebags tenderly applied is something I look forward to. Flogger, belt, strap, crop... that's all just a advanced form of massage. A little massage with sting, and usually an orgasm at the end. [;)] If you like sensation play of any kind, then punishment pretty much has to be something else.

MissBeautiful2U -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/22/2009 12:07:59 PM)
Something tedious and time consuming that takes the focus off of him would probably work well. Masochists tend to enjoy the attn of their Dominant, so being forced to say clip all the grass around the edge of the house or yard with scissors or scrub the grout lines with a toothbrush could be good for contemplation.... The real key though is to use something that the slave will NOT enjoy and make sure the slave understands that it is important to follow rules.

PeonForHer -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/22/2009 12:45:26 PM)
Fast reply: Am I the only one who finds this issue of punishment in D/s weird, funny and a turn-on in equal measure? Essay-writing would be a terrible punishment for me. I hate writing. Yes indeed.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/22/2009 1:05:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Fast reply: Am I the only one who finds this issue of punishment in D/s weird, funny and a turn-on in equal measure? Essay-writing would be a terrible punishment for me. I hate writing. Yes indeed. Mmkay, well we just won't throw you in the briar patch then, Brer Rabbit... [;)]

PeonForHer -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/22/2009 1:38:50 PM)
Bah. OK, I do like writing really. I also appreciate the difference between funishment and punishment and that the latter might need to occur if the dynamic's in danger of being compromised. Still, though, I've been talking to a dominant living near to me who often sets her sub essays to write on particular subjects. It seems a good way of encouraging thought about one aspect of the relationship or another. Perhaps to be seen also as a punishment; but, alternatively and maybe better, to be seen as a good way of encouraging contemplation, and hopefully eventual resolution, of an issue.

cbtok -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/22/2009 1:59:01 PM)
There is usually a gender trigger in many masochists. I would find it enjoyable to be beaten by a nice woman just about any day. If he's the same way, have a gay boyfriend of yours give him a really good thrashing. If she is strongly attracted to men, have a lesbian beat her for you. I notice that people who prefer their own gender tend to play more heavily than those who prefer the opposite anyway, so there probably won't be any warmup. Be out of the room when this is happening, as I've been beaten quite nicely by several queer boys while I was with my then-Owner and gads, that was hot! (Of course it wasn't punishment, either). I do like the tedium angle mentioned above but I can eroticize that even. So whatever you do it has to be involved in the individual's psyche and has to be seen as punishment that is not preferred. I do agree that banishment does not train if you care for the submissive but there is always this calculation one must make if one is to have a relationship with someone as to whether or not training (or further training) will result in anything worthwhile. This is where there is a lot of pressure on the Dominant. The Dominant partner must have a full sense of the submissive they are working with and this sense does build up over time as a relationship grows. One might regard this a training issue, as one would train someone to their general liking but I would ask if there is a desire for the submissive if submission has to be trained. If what you have here is willfulness and not submission, you're training submission. That gets back to the original point and negotiation of the relationship that, supposedly, began some time ago. If I have submitted to you, you will, of course, want to train me to your particular preferences, any specific protocols you think necessary, any desires you have and any chores you would have me do as a matter of course. That kind of training is necessary in any D/s relationship and completely understood. But, having submitted to you, why would you need to train me to be submissive?! I think it is this rhetorical question that bears thought.

masmiss -> RE: how to punish a masochistic slave? (4/22/2009 3:46:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cbtok There is usually a gender trigger in many masochists. I would find it enjoyable to be beaten by a nice woman just about any day. If he's the same way, have a gay boyfriend of yours give him a really good thrashing. If she is strongly attracted to men, have a lesbian beat her for you. I notice that people who prefer their own gender tend to play more heavily than those who prefer the opposite anyway, so there probably won't be any warmup. Be out of the room when this is happening, as I've been beaten quite nicely by several queer boys while I was with my then-Owner and gads, that was hot! (Of course it wasn't punishment, either). I do like the tedium angle mentioned above but I can eroticize that even. So whatever you do it has to be involved in the individual's psyche and has to be seen as punishment that is not preferred. I do agree that banishment does not train if you care for the submissive but there is always this calculation one must make if one is to have a relationship with someone as to whether or not training (or further training) will result in anything worthwhile. This is where there is a lot of pressure on the Dominant. The Dominant partner must have a full sense of the submissive they are working with and this sense does build up over time as a relationship grows. One might regard this a training issue, as one would train someone to their general liking but I would ask if there is a desire for the submissive if submission has to be trained. If what you have here is willfulness and not submission, you're training submission. That gets back to the original point and negotiation of the relationship that, supposedly, began some time ago. If I have submitted to you, you will, of course, want to train me to your particular preferences, any specific protocols you think necessary, any desires you have and any chores you would have me do as a matter of course. That kind of training is necessary in any D/s relationship and completely understood. But, having submitted to you, why would you need to train me to be submissive?! I think it is this rhetorical question that bears thought. Thought-provoking perspective. Thanks.

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