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Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:02:51 PM   
subsubtle


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		spank your dominant? 

What if your dominant enjoyed physical pain and ordered you to spank him or her?  Would you be able to do it?
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:07:44 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

spank your dominant? 



yes, every trip to the grocery store. it's a fun game of ninja spanking down the aisles.
i could service top if requested, though it wouldn't feel natural to me.

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(in reply to subsubtle)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:12:12 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Now? Probably. Back six years ago when we first met? Not at all.
I understand the difference between sensation and power, but I'm not equipped to top anyone. Beyond that, I would resent him demanding I do something which made me feel that bad, since hurting others is anathema to me. And resentment is not good for a relationship.

I'm also afraid that it would seriously screw up our sexual relationship if I couldn't get over it. But he knows all this and since the downside is so huge, he wouldn't ask me. If he had to have sensation play, I'd prefer it in a nonsexual atmosphere like a dungeon and the top be someone he wouldn't be sexually attracted to. I could handle him being topped by a straight male, but not by a straight or bi female. Or by a pro dom/me. It would have to be nonsexual for me to deal with it.

I'd also be really bad at it, stopping anytime he winced to apologize and get lotion for him!

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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:15:55 PM   
marysdream


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
Status: offline 		no...i would see this person as a switch or a sub...and any D that i would be with would have to always remain consistent in the person i met and expect every day. for me i know i absolutely have to have a Dominant..and would never feel comfortable switching roles!
ty
ree 

(in reply to subsubtle)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:18:29 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		I think if I really wanted to I'd be able to top someone, but not someone that I'm submissive to.   No how, no way.

(in reply to subsubtle)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:24:07 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		 
An action is neither dominant nor submissive.  A sensation is neither dominant nor submissive.
As a masochist, I certainly understand the pain/pleasure principal.  Why would I then deny a dominant’s desire to get sexually aroused with pain as well? 
If he tells me to give him pain, and I obey, it does not confuse me at all.  The dynamic remains intact. 

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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:26:35 PM   
KneelforAnne


Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

I can understand wanting the sensation...but I am not sure how I would react to such a request.

In the past I've spoken to "Doms" who were not...and used that to try and get me to Domme them... I would be afraid that would be what it was leading to.

Also...in a way I can predict that I would want to--I wouldn't want him to have to go to another to fulfull that need/desire... but I agree with DesFIP...I'm not sure I could get over it and I certainly wouldn't want to see another fill that role.

So... I guess this is a non-answer.

I'm not sure it has anything to do with being Dom/sub... the action is the action whatever side the person falls on. If your Dom wanted it, then he wouldn't cease being Dom because he wanted it.

For me, it has more to do with not wanting to upset the balance perhaps?



(in reply to marysdream)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:27:53 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		No

I was in a relationship with a Dom who enjoyed pain and anal and to be honest..I found it extremely difficult and uncomfortable. The more he ordered me to do it the easier it became for me to be dominant towards him to the point where I no longer felt he was dominating at all. I took care of everything when we were together and at that point I felt our roles had completely changed.

I won't do that again because I know eventually it would be the killer to the relationship. It starts with one small step until eventually reversal has happened.

(in reply to catize)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 6:50:58 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

 
An action is neither dominant nor submissive. 


Do you mean sexual acts or do you mean any and all action/s?

(in reply to catize)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 7:00:03 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

 
An action is neither dominant nor submissive. 


Do you mean sexual acts or do you mean any and all action/s?


What I mean is that actions do not change who is the dominant or submissive in the relationship. 

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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 7:21:27 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, of course.  If it's a request for service or if it's a deference to a preference that I have, either way, certainly. 
  Davan

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(in reply to catize)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 7:28:11 PM   
subsubtle


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		Any male subs care to weigh in?

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 7:31:12 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline 		~fr~

I don’t think I could, but can’t be certain, due to lack of experience.

An inability to do so would be caused largely, by how I perceive being spanked. I just don’t see it as my place.

Kim

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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 9:17:36 PM   
whis31


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		i have at Master's request and it just felt weired, found out that i can't top it's just not me

(in reply to cpK69)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 10:03:15 PM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		I've teased Master about spanking him on his birthday, and I could probably spank him playfully. But if he was serious adn really wanted a spanking I don't think I could do it. I'd be nervous and probably giggling the whole time. I have a hard time when he has me on top during sex, let alone something along the lines of spanking or 'topping" him. Thankfully it's not something he would ever ask though.

*ponders ninja spanking and the consequences of that.... could be worth it*

(in reply to subsubtle)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 11:09:32 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marysdream

no...i would see this person as a switch or a sub...and any D that i would be with would have to always remain consistent in the person i met and expect every day. for me i know i absolutely have to have a Dominant..and would never feel comfortable switching roles!
ty
ree 


Excuse me.  I think you are thinking that a bottom must be submissive and a Top must be Dominant.  Sometimes that's the way things are, and sometimes it's not that way.  Some bottoms and Tops have nothing to do with D/s or M/s as there is no power exchange between them, just the physical play.  There are also masochistic Dominants.  They bottom while dictating what sensations and how the submissive will do things to them.  In this case the bottom Dominant never gives up any control and is completely and always in control of the action.   So a bottom may or may not be a Dominant or submissive and a Top may or may not be a Dominant or submissive. 

To the OP....yes, I could spank my Dominant although I never have.  He makes floggers and always wants to know how the new one feels.  He will have me flog him while telling me harder or softer or higher or lower.  I don't have a problem with that at all as he feels the need to know exactly what the flogger will feel like.  Why should I object to doing something for him that he feels he needs done?  However, a few times he's asked me to co-top with him.  I'm not comfortable in that role at all and he seldom asks me to do that. 

(in reply to marysdream)
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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/12/2009 11:48:28 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		He's thousands of miles away from here right now, so if He were to ask me to spank Him, hell, ask me to do anything I'd do it without thought. Now, that being said, along time ago I did swat Him in the ass and He quickly turned to me and said "watch it" soooo I highly doubt the man of mine is going to want me to spank Him.
If it really was something He wanted I would learn to like it.

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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/13/2009 3:09:58 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I don't see it as a big deal.

I once asked a sub woman to spank me.  She gave me half a dozen halfhearted swats, and both of us realized we weren't wired that way.

Now, serious spankings, done regularly - that would have been different.


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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/13/2009 3:14:09 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I could, easily. However I couldn't do something to my partner (be it dominant/vanilla) if it was a hard limit for me.


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RE: Would you be able to... - 4/13/2009 3:47:06 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

spank your dominant? 

What if your dominant enjoyed physical pain and ordered you to spank him or her?  Would you be able to do it?



This concept is strongly linked to the psyche that some acts are dominant and some are submissive. Interestingly, it's mostly surrounding anal play. My pet has a slave mantra. "You say. i do. i swallow. i thank you." When we use that dynamic, she is not rewarded for thinking, only doing and otherwise not being a nuisance. (It's a fun place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.)

Please forgive me answering for my submissive, but I do know her response. Even in that mental state, I would expect her to do poorly. She would not spank me as hard as I spank her (and she could, physically). For her, its not about removing the act from the attached meaning. We (pet and I) play with a switch girl who has peaked my submissive side. The few times we've explored that role, my pet did surprisingly well as a mistress. She can be delightfully cruel. But she wouldn't want to physically hurt me. I assume with great accuracy that causing me physical pain is difficult for her. It would be a tremendous challenge for her.

Some acts that are traditionally submissive, which I enjoy, get done with great skill and haste (even if her pleasure is solely from knowing I'm getting what I want). I consider causing physical pain to be separate from the others.

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