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Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 3:40:12 PM   
InTonguesslut


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/5/2009
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I’ve had the weirdest experience this bank holiday weekend! The plan was I would come down to Sir on Thursday evening and on the Friday I was going to be lent out for 24 hours. Then back to Sir on the Saturday through to Tuesday.

From the moment I arrived at Sir’s I was bratty, cheeky, answered back and generally disrespectful. Sir was not impressed as you can imagine and I was baffled at my behaviour, I couldn’t understand where it was coming from. I also seemed to have the inability to stop my mouth from running full throttle as hard as I tried to stop it.

By the morning I think Sir was pretty much glad to see the back of me. My mouth still hadn’t stopped and all I could put it down to was nervousness at my day’s meet. This seemed unlikely though as I have been lent out before and never really get nervous.

The meet was an absolute disaster!! To cut a long story short I was set up to fail, not by Sir but by the guy I was meeting. It wasn’t intentional but in his words ‘I had been his fantasy for so long’, nothing I could do was ever going to live up to his expectations.

I returned home to Sir that same day disappointed, tired and with my confidence well and truly knocked. Sir was great, he let me rest, talk it out and pampered me a little, ok a lot lol. I also spoke to my sister slave lally, probably a little more openly than I had talked to Sir and I felt loads better.

However my bratty, cheeky, disrespectful behaviour continued and Sir and I had several disagreements over the course of the next twenty four hours. I wouldn’t say I was completely out of order, Sir does allow and even like the way I speak openly and honestly with him, but I seemed to be pushing for an argument, being downright awkward in my opinions. I was definitely pushing my luck.

In the end Sir put me on my knees for a beating. I had not been touched Thursday as I was to be lent out without markings. Friday the guy barely touched me, spanked my ass a bit, flogged my back a little but that was it. Sir had allowed me to rest Friday night and most of Saturday day but I think his patience was obliterated by evening and I was in for it!!

After a rather delicious beating I felt so much better. Sir had beaten me back into submission and I was back to feeling myself, settled and well behaved. All day yesterday I was polite, respectful, helpful, generally well behaved and Sir and I had a lovely day together.

It got to bedtime though and I started again, well actually no we had a bit of a disagreement at teatime because I was over sensitive about a comment Sir had made. For some reason I was angry at him and I couldn’t, still can’t figure out why. Nothing he said was right and I was determined for some reason to pick fault or find an insult in everything he said. Needless to say he put me in my place again before we went to sleep and I settled back down, fell back to being his good girl.

So far today I have been reasonable, I’ve followed Sir’s requests without question, behaved well and am generally quite settled. However I just know that if I don’t get ‘beaten into submission’ this evening at some point, I’m going to turn into a walking nightmare again.

What is happening to me? I have never ever had to be beaten into submission before. Has my submission become defective? Has it caught a virus? Or does this kind of thing happen occasionally to most and I’ve just been lucky not to experience it before?

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 3:44:27 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Sounds to me you are in a "bad" place mentally. Perhaps instead of provoking your Sir , you could ask him for a beating, and explain why.

We are human, and as humans have good days and bad days, and you are in the bad days cycle. Good luck.

edited to add - show your Sir this thread. 

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 4/13/2009 3:45:15 PM >

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 3:59:57 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I will never be able to understand it ...but whatever floats your boat.


< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 4/13/2009 4:00:18 PM >

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 4:00:50 PM   
InTonguesslave


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline 		its cos you know youre safe with Sir, that he wont abuse you, that you can push and he'll settle you. 

edited to add: and because the guy you went to see was a twat and upset you alot.

< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 4/13/2009 4:25:38 PM >

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 4:10:40 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		This all started with being loaned out?  I would think there is some trigger there.

I hope you find your answers and feel better!

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 4:13:23 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		perhaps it was your being lent out that did it. subconsciously you could have had a difficulty in being out of the protection of your master. i had a situation where i watched my M'lady play with another for the first time. i think that you may want to explore the event and the emotions that you felt and the reactions that you had. was this the first time you were to be loaned out. have you played with others since you became collared. this should be considered before playing again.

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 6:28:35 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		I tend to agree....perhaps it's your feelings and emotions involving your Master, more so than the idea of being lent out.   That might be a good place to start.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip

perhaps it was your being lent out that did it. subconsciously you could have had a difficulty in being out of the protection of your master. i had a situation where i watched my M'lady play with another for the first time. i think that you may want to explore the event and the emotions that you felt and the reactions that you had. was this the first time you were to be loaned out. have you played with others since you became collared. this should be considered before playing again.


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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 6:43:57 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		I've never been lent out before, so I don't really know how those emotions play out.  but, I do know, that I am subject to the same kinds of "moods" you described, and some really good knocks put me in a better head space.

it's not necessarily being beaten into submission, but rather releasing the tensions which keep you from behaving the way you want to.

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 7:04:49 PM   
humiliatedslut


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/11/2009
Status: offline 		I think the intresting thing here is not what was making her nervous. What's fantastic is that after she was beated she felt so much better. Oh, I know how that feels... . Sometimes I realize that a single strong slap in my face can make my bad mood disappear. Somehow in submission I find balance and tranquility. 

< Message edited by humiliatedslut -- 4/13/2009 7:05:49 PM >

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 7:08:22 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Sounds like you weren't up for being lent out.

The relationship is not of that long a duration yet, neither is the poly, and both are a lot to deal with. Add to that being lent out without him there to watch out for you, and it's no wonder you were having problems.

I'm more likely to have a panic attack in a situation where I feel unsafe, and that's an obvious sign to him that something's really wrong. Unfortunately smart ass comments aren't a clear signal as to your emotional state.

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 9:20:04 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		From my perspective, it's awfully erotic to have a sub loaned out to me and to lend out that sub likewise to others. Awfully erotic.

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 10:11:14 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

What is happening to me? I have never ever had to be beaten into submission before. Has my submission become defective? Has it caught a virus?


Read it twice, but it's deep space to me. From before they fixed the Hubble.

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/13/2009 10:22:14 PM   
heartbound


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		I couldn't have said it better myself.  I do find myself in a better head space when Mistress will not put up with my bratty behavior.  And I know that sometimes I push her buttons with my behavior. 

It is not a matter of being beaten into submission.  However, sometimes I need to be reminded of my place.  It makes me settle down into sub mode.  When Mistress won't put up with me being a brat, it reminds me that she owns me and can control my behavior if she wishes to do so.

Especially after being lent out, I would think that there might be some insecurities on your part. I wonder if part of your behavior was because you needed Sir's reaffirmation that you belong to Him.  Just a thought...

-heartbound 

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/14/2009 3:41:39 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		InTonguesslut I can relate to what your going through and I sympathize.
Nerves before the loan out are natural because you feel inwardly vulnerable and the person that has made you feel inwardly vulnerable is your dominant, even though that would of been a very subconscious emotion.
It was very important, crucial in fact that he re-claimed you as his and it sounds like the beating he gave you was just that, except for that fact that you instigated the beating and it didn't come off the cuff from him.
Tell him you need him to take you back and settle the score with you. You just need to feel safe again.

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/14/2009 4:57:38 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have to agree with everyone else; it sounds like you were having some internal issues with being lent out; issues that you had not seen, or focused on. Sometimes those kinds of feelings sneak up on us, even when we want, like, and desire what is going to happen.

( I was originally going to say that it sounded like you were acting out, pushing him a bit for some reason, just to get beaten; but, I think I know you well enough to know that if you had wanted to be beaten, you would have just told him so  )

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/14/2009 5:29:38 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

I will never be able to understand it ...but whatever floats your boat.


i agree

i guess this is why being lent out is a hard limit of mine

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/14/2009 5:39:58 AM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		I am thinking that perhaps the "loaning out" brought out some sort of insecurity.  I won't begin to guess what that is, since I have no idea.  I know that in my experience, when something Master does brings an insecurity to light, I react that same way that you've described.  At that point, I need him to actively reaffirm my place in our relationship.  For me, the best way to do that is a solid beating followed with a tightened "leash" for the next few days.  Master is pretty laid back in general and seems similar to yours in the fact that he appreciates my sharing of my thoughts openly (we're both sarcastic types, so that helps, lol!). 




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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/14/2009 7:36:32 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I think there is truth to be found in the conjoining of the statements that
a.  the relationship with your Sir is fairly new.  Emotions and thoughts are still on a roller coaster as are levels of submissive thoughts and feelings related to the D/s side of the relatioship-dynamic.  Questions about just how much "His property" you feel you are and HE feels you are, are still being answered even if not at a conscious level
b.  the poly situation...even if you have experienced it before...is a new one with THESE people and you are also dealing with the nuances of that

A and B together could definitely turn out spicy when something as complex as a "loaning-out" occurs at this time.  Then add in the fact that...at least, according to you and your "slub"...the guy acted in a manner that reflected his disappointment that you didn't live up to his fantasy (forgive me for striking an odd note here but I wonder...how much of your admittedly bratty behavior did you carry over to your day with the man?  How much did you try to do as promised and get into making his day at least partially what he was expecting?).  Now, let's add in a pinch of you being disappointed over his "gentleness of manner" in his play and a dash of you stung by his expression of disappointment and it seems to me that the stew is getting out of balance.  Now, let's watch you trying to be the cook and provoke Sir into beating you rather than pamper you.  On one hand, I get it...you needed to feel that "fitting into place" that a good beating can deliver.  On the other hand, I have to wonder at you provoking...in the time I have known you through the boards, you've been upfront about what you want...perhaps again, it is a touch of A coming into play here?  But in provocation of a beating from Sir to move you "back into submission", are you not the one taking the reins and deciding the path for you, the horse, to go?

I've had this conversation in "what if" discussions...and I know that for me, were I to loan out my submissive for a day, the approach upon her return would vary depending on the temperament of the submissive involved and what we both feel is needed to "click" the dynamic back to us.  Though the approach varies by submissive...as noted...the one thing that seems to be expressed across the board is that need to "feel the US that comes when we are Dominant/submissive", that need to feel "owned and claimed by me" after being used elsewhere.  Perhaps this is a conversation with your Sir that you all could benefit from?

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/14/2009 7:37:56 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		k I feel fuck weird..am I the only person on CM that doesn't believe in being beaten into submission
..or just being beaten in general


< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 4/14/2009 7:38:16 AM >

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RE: Beaten into submission. - 4/14/2009 7:45:20 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

k I feel fuck weird..am I the only person on CM that doesn't believe in being beaten into submission
..or just being beaten in general



It kinda falls in the category of Your Kink is Not My Kink........but that doesn't make it wrong.

What works for one, will totally not work for someone else at all.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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