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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 6:53:47 AM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		The OP appears to be a Pro-Domme, lets face it that's who frequents Pro's... generally a man that is having sub feelings doesn't know where else to go, so they hire a Pro.... That being said, I do think it's important that in his primary relationship he should have been honest about his sub feelings... but maybe he wasn't ready?! therefore, he purposely left his conversation window open as a way to start the conversation with his wife?!  It certainly can and probably will turn into a stickly situation, if I were the OP I would back out of the situation and left the sub handle his primary relationship and chalk the situation up to a learning experience and not take on "sneaky" subs next time....

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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 6:58:39 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

But why deal with someone who has no respect for their primary relationship? Isn't this a bit like the loser subs who can only spare 4 hours a week but expect 24/7/365 TPE?



stella, did you read OP's profile?  You just described her to a T.  She is looking for 24/7 TPE while demanding space for her own relationships. 


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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 7:03:45 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		You have shown poor judgement by not verifying that your subs' wives are aware of their activities, and you continue to show poor judgement even by considering continuing with this person.  That poor judgement will eventually backfire on you, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself. 

< Message edited by Venatrix -- 4/15/2009 7:05:15 AM >

(in reply to MISTRESSHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 7:07:20 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I hadn't realized earlier that the OP is also married. I hope her husband is aware and supportive or it could get really ugly reeeallllyy fast.

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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 7:37:40 AM   
NearlyAcquiesced


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline 		True that, but she does seem to want this person to live with her, which is a little questionable, considering the kids.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 7:39:42 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Naw, don't release him. Let him keep coming back. You need to give the wife enough time to gather evidence so that when this hits the courts, she will get her moneys worth. Maybe you will even get some publicity out of the whole thing. Good luck with that.


Oh and I have a question about your profile.....You state you are only seeking "true" submissives.

Does being "true" include lying to your wife? In your OP you said you have been dealing with married subs for years and I am wondering if lying is a "true' thing or maybe you just added that recently.

Just what is your definition of a "true" sub?

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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 7:51:39 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		Diane and I deal with married subs from time to time both male and females, from jump street if the spouse isn't in the loop its nice to meet you and we hope you find what you seek,I am just too old to be part of a divorce prceedings...bounty

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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 2:58:23 PM   
MISTRESSHUNTER


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline 		I thank you all for your replys. I do want to make clear that this is not a cheater situation, there is nothing sexul about it.I am simply trying to help him explore a life style that he has been curiuos about and has had no luck with in the past includeing his wife. I do not wish to turn him away I am a very careing Mistress who was trying to make a good choice for her sub.  I see that what I said was not taken in the way I intended but thats fine. I than all those who took the time to voice there opnions.

(in reply to SingleRarity)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:00:21 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I do want to make clear that this is not a cheater situation, there is nothing sexul about it.
i doubt his wife will believe it 

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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:06:57 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER
I do want to make clear that this is not a cheater situation, there is nothing sexul about it.


Doesn't have to be sexual to be cheating. Sharing intimacy, sharing space, playing, doing anything behind your partner's back...are just as much cheating as is sex.

He cheated and you helped him. Leave him alone to sort out his marriage now. You're not helping him.

(in reply to MISTRESSHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:07:39 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER

I thank you all for your replys. I do want to make clear that this is not a cheater situation, there is nothing sexul about it.I am simply trying to help him explore a life style that he has been curiuos about and has had no luck with in the past includeing his wife. I do not wish to turn him away I am a very careing Mistress who was trying to make a good choice for her sub.  I see that what I said was not taken in the way I intended but thats fine. I than all those who took the time to voice there opnions.


Considering that most male submissive's have some sexual need in their bdsm and considering how the wife might feel... I have to consider that this isn't as open and shut as you are presenting.  He left the messenger open and left his computer for anyone to pass by and see... when addressed according to what you said, he became angry because wifey pooh wasn't serving his submissive needs.

I do wonder if wifey and maybe a divorce court judge will consider things are the way you see them or what harm will come.  As far as I see it... wifey might get the better end of this... lose a topping, frustrated, angry man that feels justified in doing whatever becasue she won't service him and you enable him.  Good job!

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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:07:47 PM   
InTonguesslut


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I thank you all for your replys. I do want to make clear that this is not a cheater situation, there is nothing sexul about it

 
For now. I would guess though that when this goes into real life cheating is on the agenda. Sometimes intent is as bad as the actual act.
 
Either way, sex or no sex this guy has still hidden something from his wife which she by the sounds of things is not willing to accept.
 
If you care you will turn him away until he has sorted things out with his wife if possible and she is happy to accept that he has this part of him that he needs to fulfill. If she ever does.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:08:43 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		...submission/dominance..especially pro dominance is sexual.....unless you go out shopping while you ask him to clean your house. It doesn't necessarily mean intercourse but the sexual aspect is always there I'd think...and I doubt his wife cares whether he fucks or not..it's sexual act with somebody else than her...not to mention the deceitfulness n going behind her back n all that comes with it.

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 4/15/2009 3:23:19 PM >

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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:14:35 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER

 I am a very careing Mistress who was trying to make a good choice for her sub. 


If this is true, then you should be encouraging him to be honest with his wife. If you care about someone, then you want them to be honest with themselves and others.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:30:39 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		If you are willing to take controll of another person's life, then you had better be prepared to take the responsibility, and in this case the consequences can be pretty drastic. If you can even consider continuing with him, how can you possibly think you would bear none of the responsibility?



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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:32:55 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER

I thank you all for your replys. I do want to make clear that this is not a cheater situation, there is nothing sexul about it.I am simply trying to help him explore a life style that he has been curiuos about and has had no luck with in the past includeing his wife. I do not wish to turn him away I am a very careing Mistress who was trying to make a good choice for her sub.  I see that what I said was not taken in the way I intended but thats fine. I than all those who took the time to voice there opnions.


Pull the other one (it's got bells on it).


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:36:17 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SingleRarity

Why would you want a liar and cheat to serve you?

Daddy's Ballerina, e



Thank you!

I was trying to figure out how to respond to this post....and there you were :)

(Nicely put).

(in reply to SingleRarity)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:46:06 PM   
crazyredhead1957


Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
Status: offline 		~Quick Reply~
i have to say, i think She should step back and away and let him handle his marriage by himself.  The further She gets away from that situation the better.  When i used to be married,  i was the cheated on, pissed off wife and there is no telling what she might do.  i just chased them both outside and locked all the doors and windows behind their naked asses so they couldn't get back in.  Nowadays, the wife could get a nice, fat monetary settlement in court for alienation of affections.....it's happened in real life and on TV.  At any rate, all the replies have been VERY entertaining.  THANK YOU!  i was actually laughing and snorting out loud.  ~laughing my ass off~

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 3:52:52 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Listen to Carrie Underwood... Before he cheat's... ahhhhh.... lol nothing like a cheated on, pissed off, vengeful woman! lol

< Message edited by Lockit -- 4/15/2009 3:55:35 PM >

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RE: Dealing with a married Sub. - 4/15/2009 5:17:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I agree with what was said.  Just because you're not fucking him, doesn't mean it's not cheating.  If there was nothing to hide, the chat box being open wouldn't have been an issue in the first place.

I don't find you to be a caring person at all, with the exception of caring about yourself. 


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Profile   Post #: 40
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