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sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:18:23 PM

TazDevil

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master, andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master

Post #: 1

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:19:51 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

of course it is ok.

The way i see it, until a relationship develops, both parties are equals.

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(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 2

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:21:28 PM

AngelGeena

Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

I think it all depends on the person. I initiated a conversation with a Dom who had been somewhat repeatedly viewing my profile. And it has been interesting so far.

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(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 3

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:25:50 PM

kuriouswitch

Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline

With my first Dom, i made the first move and made it a point to talk to him. Master made the first move this time. Actually truth be told, Master was the only one out of all the people i talked to seriously who did make the first move, the rest i usually opened the conversations with and took it farther down the line. Master kind of took charge right from the beginning, without giving me orders... okay loosely veiled orders lol. but yes anyone can make the first move if the attraction is there.

(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 4

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:31:08 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip,

Hell yeah, Taz. Carpe that diem before someone else carpes it right out from under your nose!

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master

Depends on the dynamic of that specific relationship, to be determined and defined by the two parties in the relationship. Some people like it one way, some people like it another.

_____________________________

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In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 5

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:40:30 PM

LadyTeazer

Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

I see nothing at all wrong with a sub making the first move. If the boy does not approach Me, then how do I know that he even exists? Is available? Is interested in Me?

I have no problem with a boy being the one to suggest or initiate play, a scene, or sex. As a woman (number one), and as the Domme (number two), it is always up to Me whether or not anything will happen.

Personally, I want a boy that is not afraid to take/show the initiative and make suggestions. It shows Me that he is comfortable (with himself, and with 'us'), confident, and has a backbone. Very important traits to Me. The wimpy, doormat type of sub is just sooo much of a turn-off to Me. Blaaah!

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(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 6

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:44:25 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

If someone does not approach me then I have no clue whether or she is interested.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 7

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:45:24 PM

InTonguesslut

Posts: 401
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline

It's absolutely fine.
I don't make first moves though, just my choice.

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(in reply to LadyTeazer)

Post #: 8

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 12:51:15 PM

wolfgirl87

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/18/2009
Status: offline

Lol, I didn't get a chance to make the first move. From the moment I hit the chat room I was fielding PMs from Doms. However, if I'd had an idea of what I was looking for, and had been able to find that person instead of them finding me like He did, then I would have politely and respectfully initiated conversation, yes.

I agree with you, Panda. Carpe Diem!

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)

Post #: 9

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 1:10:41 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master, andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master

Depends entirely on who you talk to. Some people thing the sub/slave should always approach first since they are applying/begging/*insert preferred term here* for the position and others think that it's completely unacceptable for the sub/slave to approach first. And then there are those of us who just "Well somebody has to make the first contact - does it really matter who?".

Personally, I'd just make the first move and see what happens.

_____________________________

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(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 10

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 1:25:08 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

If someone does not approach me then I have no clue whether or she is interested.

Quite. If I notice someone who seems interesting then I'll say 'hi' and find out more... however there are a LOT of people out there and I'm not guarenteed to notice. If a girl spots Me and things there is compatability in what We are both looking for then dropping Me a memo about why she thinks there is that compatability is the only way to guarentee I'm going to even notice her. Who knows I might agree and decide to look further.

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 11

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 1:51:19 PM

VeryNastyDom

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil
do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move

Absolutely. Just because a sub is attracted to a Dom, that doesn't mean the Dom understands that. Sometimes the direct approach can be very helpful.

(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 12

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 2:08:02 PM

hunnibunni09

Posts: 16
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

i guess it really depends on the 2 people involved, i know whem i want to ahve sex with Sir i just playfully tell him lol it usually works or otherwise just cuddle up to him and eventually gets the hint :)

xoxox

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(in reply to VeryNastyDom)

Post #: 13

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 2:40:01 PM

TazDevil

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

got a lot of reply's fast, ty all so far a lot of yes you can, or it deponce on the relship, any no ways in hell here?

(in reply to hunnibunni09)

Post #: 14

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 3:44:11 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I'd say it's up to the people involved. I personally don't see anything wrong with it but it's just not my thing. I'm pretty traditional and like men who make the moves.

(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 15

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 4:08:00 PM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

I think the measure of ok-ness here would be your results.

If you are 100% satisfied with your approach (or your avoidance) as measured by the results that you've achieved by using them, then keep on keepin' on.

If you are not entirely satisfied, then perhaps you should reconsider your present strategy.

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- - - - - - -
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(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 16

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 4:13:19 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I don't understand why it wouldn't be fine for a sub to tell the dominant that they are incredibly aroused and would they please play with them. Doesn't everyone like hearing that they are desirable?

Although not before his first cup of tea in the morning if I'm hoping to get a positive response.

But sure, he can always say no. (unfortunately)

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Post #: 17

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 6:25:35 PM

TazDevil

Posts: 155
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I don't understand why it wouldn't be fine for a sub to tell the dominant that they are incredibly aroused and would they please play with them. Doesn't everyone like hearing that they are desirable?

Although not before his first cup of tea in the morning if I'm hoping to get a positive response.

But sure, he can always say no. (unfortunately)

ya that ture

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 18

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 6:58:50 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master, andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master

I don't see while you can't approach a person you are interested in regardless of your BDSM role or identity. What is the worse that could happen? They say "no" right and you, being a reasonable person move on and leave them alone.

There is no relationship until both people consent and agree there is one. Otherwise it just stalking or some sad fantasy in one's head.

Within a relationship though that needs to be worked out between the two (or more) parties involved. Best not to have an assumption about it until you negotiate that or you risk being very disappointed down the road.

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(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 19

RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? - 4/22/2009 7:41:34 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

There's nothing wrong with a sub asking for play. That doesn't automatically mean I'm going to say yes.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 20

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