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I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games?


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I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 2:22:59 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		On that other side a submissive lady that I know started a thread about the terms "I own you" and "I love you", and why declarations of ownership are more meaningful.  The answers she got were amazing to me, and yet more evidence that I don't have a submissive ELECTRON in my body...

From the point of view of the posters here, what do you think?  If a dom said "I own you", but never loved you, though she "cared for you", would you be satisfied with that?  Which phrase packs a bigger punch for you, owned or loved?  If you aren't loved--and I mean that your dom DOES NOT love you, though she would certainly pull you back from an oncoming bus--do you feel fulfilled?

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 2:40:57 PM   
MstrUsAngel


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/11/2009
Status: offline 		I am a collared slave of 11 years. For me, and I can only speak for myself....both, together, are what I need. Neither works without the other for me. I need to feel loved. I believe it is part of ALL human beings, vanilla/slave/Master. However to be loved and not owned did not work for me either. Why do you feel the need to make one more important then the other?

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 2:45:42 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Gawd.  I've only just recently discovered that for some dominants a sense of ownership goes hand-in-hand with a feeling of attachment with a sub.  All I really know, for myself, is that the idea of feeling 'owned' is . . . not too bad.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 2:51:33 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Just clarifying---*I* am not the one who has the need for separation, my sub friend's thread got me thinking! 

I have a lot of trouble with the idea that you can "care" about a person but not love them.  Now, I know both parties involved, and I can absolutely believe that he never loved anyone ever in his natural life.  I also know that women shortchange themselves relationship-wise all the time.  I'm curious to know if the men would be okay with an owner who "cared".

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 2:54:01 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Why do you feel the need to make one more important than the other?  She is asking us if one is more important than the other.

I have heard "I love you" from only one woman in my life.  I am not sure she was telling the truth.  I have never heard "I own you."  I'd like to try that one out!

Mike

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 2:56:28 PM   
subsubtle


Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		I think that, regardless of what is actually said aloud, as a sub I have the ability to increase the perception to myself that I am owned.  Even if a Domme never says it, I could make myself feel like I was owned.  However, I do not think I could do this for being loved or cared about.  That is something that's extremely important to me and something I would worry about sometimes if I was never told.  I think to have a Domme that I love say "I love you" would be the best feeling ever.




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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 2:56:56 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		If a dom said "I own you", but never loved you, though she "cared for you", would you be satisfied with that?
 
No.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 2:59:36 PM   
YoungLust


Posts: 70
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		If the two were mutually exclusive, I would much prefer to be loved.

True, actual love is such a powerful and wonderful emotion. Though I've never quite felt owned I can't imagine anything feeling quite so grand as love.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 3:12:47 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		To me, they go hand in hand I think. I've never heard 'I own you,' but I don't see myself being owned by someone who could/would never love me or whom I couldn't or didn't love. I don't get how people can have be owned buy someone without having a significant emotional attachment.

When someone owns me, they are going to own my mind, body and soul, those just don't go to anyone.


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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 4:26:12 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I cant imagine being owned, without being loved at the same time. I just dont think it would work for me.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 4:36:45 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		You're reassuring me! 


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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 4:52:14 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Lady H, maybe the answer lies in basic nature, almost everybody wants to be loved, few want to be owned. So to allow oneself to completely give oneself to another, then we need to feel loved first.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 4:58:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		You nailed it, Politesub!  Over and over in my friend's thread the women spoke of "feeling" loved---and she admitted outright that she KNOWS he does not love her---but was there evidence?  The women were split on whether ownership or love was more meaningful to them---and for me, I cannot imagine not loving those that I own, even if it is not romantic love. 

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 4:59:55 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I agree LadyHib... I cannot imagine owning someone I don't love.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 5:00:43 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Of course, that kind of screwed me when Hugh ditched me, because the slave relationship still existed in MY mind, though the romantic bit was over!

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 5:04:46 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ladies, now it is I who am reassured. Many thanks.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 5:10:05 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subsubtle

I think that, regardless of what is actually said aloud, as a sub I have the ability to increase the perception to myself that I am owned.  Even if a Domme never says it, I could make myself feel like I was owned.  However, I do not think I could do this for being loved or cared about.  That is something that's extremely important to me and something I would worry about sometimes if I was never told.  I think to have a Domme that I love say "I love you" would be the best feeling ever.






Good points, subsubtle.  It's intriguing that you can make yourself feel owned.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 5:12:53 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		The thing I've read a few times recently is that when (certain) dominants feel a growing affection for a sub, they have sense of owning him or her growing alongside that affection.  Is that common?

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 5:15:16 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Peon, I think its entirely possible to feel owned and even loved without being told. It comes across in the minute interactions between two people. After all most of us know when a partner is no longer in love with us, before anything is said.

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RE: I own you/ I love you/ I care for you--semantic games? - 4/24/2009 5:15:22 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Peon, I would have to agree with that.  As natural as the fondness comes, so does the feeling of... mine, mine, mine... for me. lol

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