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RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 5:20:56 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

ehhh been called abrasive here and in real life..... go figure

BadOne

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Post #: 61

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 6:36:07 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

I just never ceased to be amazed at the level of severe opinions and closed-minded thinking from a groups of individuals that are in a very alternative and avante garde lifestyle or sexual kink or deviation. I mean seriously, many times the answers I have read are often so black and white, the gray areas are gone.

Just my own 2¢... I don't really mind at all because I know who I am and what I believe deep in my heart and soul. I have no reason to tell anyone what they are to think or not to think. And above all, I can always be nice, polite and respectful, no matter what I think. If you are new, I am especially nice. We are all learning and the moment we stop? We're dead, emotionally, mentally or physically.

< Message edited by greeneyedreamer -- 4/28/2009 6:40:36 PM >

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Post #: 62

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 9:40:55 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Things seem to go in phases here on the CM Boards; for awhile, there are really insightful posts and threads, then there's a rash of personal ads, wank-tastic fantasies without questions, etc. When I'm harsh with someone, it's generally because they've been insulting or I see them posting and failing to take responsibility for their actions yet whining about it. Otherwise, as I did the other day, I may point out that something's 'wank-tastic' but I don't tend to go much further; those threads fade promptly in most cases.
Best wishes,
Davan

wank-tastic?!!! *lol* That is brilliant! Ty!!!

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Post #: 63

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/28/2009 9:59:02 PM

curiousandseekin

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

First, I'm going to welcome you to the forums. I hope you'll enjoy your stay.

I admit to getting snippy from time to time. It comes from answering the same question over, and over, and over.

Uh, the point is... you don't have to answer anything. Same question you have answered 9 times? don't answer it the tenth time it comes up. I would have to wonder why you would even answer it over... not to mention over and over and over. move onto another one. There might be an OCD issue here that drives you to respond, I don't know. but for you or anyone else... this message board is like every other one... new people come and they ask old questions. Whether it is bdsm or baseball, it is just the way it is. really, its not much more complex than that.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 64

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/29/2009 4:56:19 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitastrophe33

quote:

this is an ADULT sex site and there are going to be times when most replies around here will be brutally honest and blunt. if you cannot handle that, time find a lovey dovey site which better suits you.

Just for the record, I'm referring to my observations of how other people are responded to. And being an "adult" has little to do with my impression. I just don't see it as necessary to be an ass. Politeness and diplomacy are things "adults" have hopefully learned sometime over the years. And maybe some people do see this site as a pissing contest as opposed to a "community" of like-minded people. That's too bad too, because there is a wealth of knowledge here from people with a lot of experience and relevant knowledge that they could share with novices. *And* the input of a novice can actually be useful sometimes!

honey, you're definitely in the wrong place. politeness and diplomacy? please don't make me upchuck my morning tea.

this isn't a "community" - it's a website.

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Post #: 65

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/29/2009 5:42:45 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiousandseekin

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

First, I'm going to welcome you to the forums. I hope you'll enjoy your stay.

I admit to getting snippy from time to time. It comes from answering the same question over, and over, and over.

Uh, the point is... you don't have to answer anything. Same question you have answered 9 times? don't answer it the tenth time it comes up. I would have to wonder why you would even answer it over... not to mention over and over and over. move onto another one. There might be an OCD issue here that drives you to respond, I don't know. but for you or anyone else... this message board is like every other one... new people come and they ask old questions. Whether it is bdsm or baseball, it is just the way it is. really, its not much more complex than that.

It is the same as any other message board. I'll give you that one. It's got a search function, too, like most of them. I actually stopped recommending for people to use it. When they do, they have this annoying little habit of responding to things that people wrote two years ago to folks who haven't even been on the site in months.

If the regular posters around here didn't answer the rehashed stuff, this place would dry up quick.

ETA. There's literally a thread that was started last night about the questions that we answer constantly. I have a feeling the comedy value is going to be fantastic.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 4/29/2009 5:44:34 AM >

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Post #: 66

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 11:08:41 AM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It's got a search function, too, like most of them. I actually stopped recommending for people to use it. When they do, they have this annoying little habit of responding to things that people wrote two years ago to folks who haven't even been on the site in months.

I had a thought about this issue . .. . .

I think it's that people come here for an interactive discussion more than a passive read thru some text . ..... . If just reading some text without interaction would do it for them, they'd be reading 'SM 101' or any of the many excellent intro to BDSM books that are out there, & they wouldn't be here 'bothering' people . . . . . .

So it's kinda a catch-22, referring the enquirers to old threads, cuz they're prolly gonna have some questions to start with & as they read thru the (old, new, whatever) thread they're prolly gonna have more questions, comments, etc . . ... . Which they're then gonna wanna post to that old thread . ... .. .

(&, sure, some are trollish, but plenty of non-trolls, & even some of the trolls, learn along the way . . . . . . )

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 67

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 11:21:24 AM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

Being on here for over a year, with other name that is similair to this, I never found people being rude to me when I posted a question. Some might have been blunt but it wasn't taken as rude. My experience with the boards has been a good one, which has kept me here. There are a variety of people here and many different responses coming out of them. Take what works for you and let the others go.

(in reply to DemonKia)

Post #: 68

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 12:12:04 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

FR

For anyone that thinks I'm snarky here, you should take a look at some of my responses to those that e-mail me as part of their spam-a-lot.

Here is my issue, starting wiht Dr Spock we've evolved into a society of warm fuzzies. We are told that we have to be supportive, that we can't say anythink that might be harmful to anothers self esteem and when they make those stupid mistakes that all around them can predict will happen, we are supposed to pick them up, brush them off and accept them just as they are.

Lets face it, all of us should be growing, learning, becoming better people and having others asking us to reevaluate our paradigms is part of that process. Criticism is essential in order to pop the self-delusional bubble that would surround all of us if all we ever encountered was nice.

When someone is whiney, do we do them favors by patting them on the back and telling them they are validated? If a woman is setting herself up to be played is it in her best interest to allow her to continue to be naive? If a man is so enamoured by the Russian beauty who has promised to love him forever in exchange for just a little bit of cash to fly to he staes, should we sit by and allow him to get swindled and then give him warm hugs?

And lets face it, sometimes people don't want to hear the truth and if it's pussy-footed around then they can blissfull ignore warnings but if they are faced with cold, hard reality in a way that they can't ignore then it's possible that they can evolve, learn and make better choices.

None of us were born street smart but some of us don't need to be smacked in the head with a clue-by four-- others won't get it unless they are.

And as a final thought-- why are people all about uniqueness so long as it fits within what they want? I like snippy, snarky, bitchy people and their posts are generally far more entertaining to read then the *Hugs* crew. But could you imagine the back lash if I started a post suggesting that we eliminate the support squad?

_____________________________

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Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to oceanwinds)

Post #: 69

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 12:47:30 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

i truly just had to start ignoring the assholes here. As embarrassing as it is to admit this, i more then a few times allowed my feelings to be hurt by rude, nasty, self righteous people here ...and NO they REALLY, honestly don't seem to know who they are LOL.... but none the less, i would ignore them anyway....What i had such a hard time with (and maybe i was WAY too naive) was why in the world would someone be mean and rude? i honest to God just didn't understand that (still don't really) For those that DO manage to tough it out here, it can be fun and informing.

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Post #: 70

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 1:19:44 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i truly just had to start ignoring the assholes here. As embarrassing as it is to admit this, i more then a few times allowed my feelings to be hurt by rude, nasty, self righteous people here ...and NO they REALLY, honestly don't seem to know who they are LOL.... but none the less, i would ignore them anyway....What i had such a hard time with (and maybe i was WAY too naive) was why in the world would someone be mean and rude? i honest to God just didn't understand that (still don't really) For those that DO manage to tough it out here, it can be fun and informing.

Perspective is a funny thing. Everyone knows a few assholes in life. Yet damn few ppl think of themselves as assholes. So what happen to all the assholes??? Im glad you asked me that.

REALLY honestly I would think some folks might think your a ass hole. So they ignore you.

BUT But... but... you say Im not a asshole. see above question. Like I said perspective is a funny thing.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 71

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 1:19:51 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

I'm afraid I met get snippy. Sorry. I'll try not to.

This has nothing to do with BDSM, or "Kinksters." This is, pure and simple, an issue of human nature. Go hang out at any other discussion board you can find that is populated by a large number of people. News sites, religion sites, etc...it doesn't matter. People get snippy and impatient, and flame other people all the time.

People attack other people because they are angry, in a crappy mood and venting, don't like each other, or are just generally caustic, abrasive people, or any combination of the above and any other of a million factors. People are people, and kinksters are still people. Ergo...kinksters are going to act like people from any other discussion board, too.

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Post #: 72

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 1:23:46 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Hey, I got called "prickly" in another thread today. That was his perspective. Ask me if I care and I would give you a smile and a resounding "oh hell no!" It actually made me smile. I will leave out my long standing opinion of that poster.....

.....just to maintain some semblance of civility.

If my lack of patience for stupidity (as I see it......perspective and all) makes me "Prickly" then so be it. I've definitely been called much worse, and loved it. Just gotta consider the source.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/30/2009 1:26:02 PM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 73

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 1:28:49 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

i never claimed anything about myself being any one thing or another.... i am what i am, i have good days and bad... i have some decent insight on somethings and not so much on others.... i have a LOT to learn in life and honestly look forward to the learning..... So, not really sure exactly what you were trying to say, imply, or whatever, but i wish you and yours well...

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Post #: 74

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 1:30:59 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Hey, I got called "prickly" in another thread today. That was his perspective. Ask me if I care and I would give you a smile and a resounding "oh hell no!" It actually made me smile. I will leave out my long standing opinion of that poster..........just to maintain some semblance of civility.

If my lack of patience for stupidity (as I see it......perspective and all) makes me "Prickly" then so be it. I've definitely been called much worse, and loved it. Just gotta consider the source.

I honestly have never understood how someone can get their feelings hurt by a stranger on the other side of an internet connection. It's not even like they are in your space, they are literally just words on a screen. But I will also admit to having really thick skin.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 75

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 1:43:36 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i never claimed anything about myself being any one thing or another.... i am what i am, i have good days and bad... i have some decent insight on somethings and not so much on others.... i have a LOT to learn in life and honestly look forward to the learning..... So, not really sure exactly what you were trying to say, imply, or whatever, but i wish you and yours well...

I had to chuckle as I read your "asshole post" I thought my reply was concise and on point. Lemme clear it up for ya sweet thing. You think some ppl are assholes. Some ppl might think your a asshole.

I am not saying I think your a asshole. My reply needs to be taking in context with your post. Where you basically said these ppl are assholes and dont even know it.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 76

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 1:50:04 PM

oceanwinds

Posts: 530
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Hey, I got called "prickly" in another thread today. That was his perspective. Ask me if I care and I would give you a smile and a resounding "oh hell no!" It actually made me smile. I will leave out my long standing opinion of that poster..........just to maintain some semblance of civility.

If my lack of patience for stupidity (as I see it......perspective and all) makes me "Prickly" then so be it. I've definitely been called much worse, and loved it. Just gotta consider the source.

I honestly have never understood how someone can get their feelings hurt by a stranger on the other side of an internet connection. It's not even like they are in your space, they are literally just words on a screen. But I will also admit to having really thick skin.

I don't understand either. Not sure if it has to do with not being thick skin or people blaming others for their perspective of how things 'should' be done. Assumptions can be broken quickly. Being a 'kinster' site or any other site, we are just people. Assuming is left to the reader and not the poster.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 77

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 1:56:52 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I have to laugh about this... some are very shocked to find that people can be rude and all sorts of things on a web site, but look at some of our families or family members! We're surrounded sometimes, we might as well live and let live and consider the source and get on with whatever makes us happy. You can't change much, so change what you can. Yourself... Let other's deal with their own stuff and whether they do or not.

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Post #: 78

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 3:28:41 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i never claimed anything about myself being any one thing or another.... i am what i am, i have good days and bad... i have some decent insight on somethings and not so much on others.... i have a LOT to learn in life and honestly look forward to the learning..... So, not really sure exactly what you were trying to say, imply, or whatever, but i wish you and yours well...

I had to chuckle as I read your "asshole post" I thought my reply was concise and on point. Lemme clear it up for ya sweet thing. You think some ppl are assholes. Some ppl might think your a asshole.

I am not saying I think your a asshole. My reply needs to be taking in context with your post. Where you basically said these ppl are assholes and dont even know it.

BadOne

Ok gotcha

, i'm a little slow out of the gate, but i get there! LOL
By the by....i FULLY know i'm an asshole... There are just some days i can control my farting better than others is all

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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candy posts in pink font

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Post #: 79

RE: Kinksters eat their young. - 4/30/2009 5:36:08 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

FR

& there's that offense is as much in the taking as in the giving . ... .

& there's that, while I might sometimes be able & willing to control my end of the taking & giving of offense, I ultimately have no control over that process in others . . ...

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 80

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