RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (Full Version)

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michaelGA -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 11:37:15 AM)

"Can't we all...just get along...

...little doggie
...rope
...the shore
...the beaten path
...shoreman
...day
...night
...horn
...coats
...and the short of it
...kiss goodnight
...form
...johns
...fellow"



LOL



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 11:51:32 AM)

quote:

$200.00 an hour????


wow, look at all the cake and ice cream i could stuff myself with if i could make that much money...where do i sign up...<grinz>



There's a lot of jobs where you can actually get paid for maybe 5-8 hours a week that require 20-40 unpaid hours a week of work to get those commissions, plus overhead, wardrobe, equipment.

I don't think you'll find much left over for ice cream though.



Real0ne -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 11:53:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

quote:

ORIGINAL: missnoir

As a pro femdomme, I am used to peaks and valleys when it comes to booking sessions and receiving tribute. However, as of late, business has come to a dead halt. In a period of two weeks, I have booked more than sixteen newcomers and have had a total of zero show up! Some are considerate enough to call with whatever excuse they can fumble out. Most are never heard from again. What's a domme to do?? I have stringent cancellation and confirmation policies in place. I have an excellent record of timeliness and service. I know a lot of pro dommes take a deposit up fron but I am afraid of the effect this drastic step might have on business. I don't know what to do. Any advice you might have would be incredibly helpful.

Noir


well first and foremost this is a business. its a cold thing to say but welcome to the business world. this is the way it is, not only for you but for all businesses. the best thing to do is not miss any local meetings, show off a hot sub at them, do seminars that teach, munches are all guys looking, if yo uhave a dungeon have dungeon parties. aside from that welcome to business what can i say.

my bitch isnt that pros exist, like hookers they would not exist if the demand was not there, so the guys that use them are equally guilty, my bitch is that i cannot advertize my business for free on here or any other site, however these women can. that and their profiles are in with everyone elses and they give us no filter for it because i do not want to read even one of them yet i am forced to while surfing due to this setup


This is a FREE site.
Set up your own site and make all the filters you want.
Until then, stop whining.

Akasha


no it is a discrimanatory site that allows only sex businesses to advertize for free



michaelGA -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 11:55:00 AM)

*pouts and whines*

no ice cream?

what about cake?



AAkasha -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 11:55:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

quote:

ORIGINAL: missnoir

As a pro femdomme, I am used to peaks and valleys when it comes to booking sessions and receiving tribute. However, as of late, business has come to a dead halt. In a period of two weeks, I have booked more than sixteen newcomers and have had a total of zero show up! Some are considerate enough to call with whatever excuse they can fumble out. Most are never heard from again. What's a domme to do?? I have stringent cancellation and confirmation policies in place. I have an excellent record of timeliness and service. I know a lot of pro dommes take a deposit up fron but I am afraid of the effect this drastic step might have on business. I don't know what to do. Any advice you might have would be incredibly helpful.

Noir


well first and foremost this is a business. its a cold thing to say but welcome to the business world. this is the way it is, not only for you but for all businesses. the best thing to do is not miss any local meetings, show off a hot sub at them, do seminars that teach, munches are all guys looking, if yo uhave a dungeon have dungeon parties. aside from that welcome to business what can i say.

my bitch isnt that pros exist, like hookers they would not exist if the demand was not there, so the guys that use them are equally guilty, my bitch is that i cannot advertize my business for free on here or any other site, however these women can. that and their profiles are in with everyone elses and they give us no filter for it because i do not want to read even one of them yet i am forced to while surfing due to this setup


This is a FREE site.
Set up your own site and make all the filters you want.
Until then, stop whining.

Akasha


no it is a discrimanatory site that allows only sex businesses to advertize for free


What!? Are you serious!?

You should file a complaint immediately AND cancel your monthly subscription at once. That'll show 'em! How dare they run this site that way. I'm so glad you figured this all out.

Akasha



michaelGA -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 11:58:20 AM)

file a complaint with the union...wait...is there a union?

maybe turn You business into a sex-based business...ummmm...what is it You do again?



MichMasochist -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 12:23:53 PM)

Well let's see, Like any service secture bussiness inwhich you offer a highly speciallized product/service will naturally have a very limited clientel base. With present depressed economics I would imagine customers will become less frequent as disposable income continues to decline with plant closings, wage cut, everybodies feeling less secure in their jobs. Of those who do make appointments they might suddenly find themselves rethinking their spending habits.

First as you know this is fantasy for most. Very few will ever even try to make it into the realm of reality. I chickened out on my first S&M party and that was with a woman I personally knew, and had sex with several times before. With a pro I probably wouldn't have even tried a second time. As for the deposit issue too many of my friends have been snookered on this so following their hard learned lesson. If there is a deposit required statement I check the next lady.

Hope thing improve for you.





quote:

ORIGINAL: missnoir

As a pro femdomme, I am used to peaks and valleys when it comes to booking sessions and receiving tribute. However, as of late, business has come to a dead halt. In a period of two weeks, I have booked more than sixteen newcomers and have had a total of zero show up! Some are considerate enough to call with whatever excuse they can fumble out. Most are never heard from again. What's a domme to do?? I have stringent cancellation and confirmation policies in place. I have an excellent record of timeliness and service. I know a lot of pro dommes take a deposit up fron but I am afraid of the effect this drastic step might have on business. I don't know what to do. Any advice you might have would be incredibly helpful.

Noir




stef -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 12:57:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

no it is a discrimanatory site that allows only sex businesses to advertize for free

Boo hoo hoo. Feel free to ask for your money back before leaving.

~stef



blackpearl81 -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/3/2006 1:51:10 PM)


For some strange reason.. i feel like rooting for Akasha....

just dont expect me to dress up in a cheerleaders outfit :|

(just sayin cus i think its funny the way real 1 is reacting to everyones posts..)

*BP*



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/4/2006 1:17:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

no it is a discrimanatory site that allows only sex businesses to advertize for free


*Momentarily taking back the comment in another thread that I would not care to engage RealOne in any thread*

Please understand that I am being very polite here. I have just finished quickly reviewing the TOS that would apply to this statement.

I do not see anywhere a clause that states one is not allowed to advertise their business, provided it is a business that does not fall under certain guidelines, i.e. hacking into the collarme system would be an example.
You spend so much time posting, have you ever considered that?
I post My website, My niteflit pages. John Warren posts his. Jasmyn does. Aakasha does. Lady Sonelle does. Many of us do this. Do you pay attention?
So, depending on what you do for a living, I see no reason why you cannot subtly advertise. Example: Are you an attorney? A Doctor? An accountant? There may be people on this site who are in your local area who might be interested in learning more of your business through private correspondence, and then may elect to become a client/patient (whatever) because they like you, you have a good rep, and they would prefer to use the services of someone who is kink aware and kink friendly. In a profile, even a Pro Dom/me is not permitted to post a phone number, email address or website link. But there are other ways.
Or take some positive action. Talk to the site (support) and ask if there is a way for those who might be interested to post links to appropriate vanilla business sites, or to post like the Professional Dominants and submissives do. Maybe, if enough people are willing to be more "out", the site could make space available for attorneys, doctors, masseuses, chefs, auto mechanics, plumbers, and any number of businesses. It is not the site's responsibility to detemirne if you render good service. It is always up to the individual to do their own due diligence. But I am willing to bet that most people are very *discreet* and would not want to use this site to more openly advertise. So I am guessing (not to be rude) that your complaint is an empty one. Do you really wish you could advertise your business through this site? If so, there are ways you can do that.
I have had Doctors, people well versed in alternative medicine, and submissives who are good web designers (just as a few examples) contact Me regarding working with Me in some of these areas . One lovely boy purchased a special type of massage for Me for My birthday as he was aware I have certain types of headaches, and he really searched for someone local to Me so he could treat Me to this surprise. Note, this is someone I have known for quite some time through these boards and occasional correspondece. I did not ask for it, and it was a total surprise. Had he known of someone with this type of business in My area, I am willing to bet he would have corresponded, checked the person out, and, if he felt confident, made the purchase from them.
This is an alternative lifestyle site. It lends itself to advertisements for Professional services in this arena. If you don't want that, just pass it by. There will be the Ladies who come on as if completely lifestyle, and then flip over the "tribute proves sincerity trump card". But it usually happens pretty quickly, so again, move on! I move on, all the time. Dominas are treated like fetish life support, sometimes dozen of times each day.
But the way you continue to harp on this issue, complain and whine, is not going to raise you up in anybody's eyes. So maybe it is better that we don't know what business you are in. We might go out of our way to not consider your services. Nobody wants to work with a whiner.
Why do you do this to yourself? Do you hear yourself? Do you know how miserably negative you sound?
Somebody once made the statement that each time you post on the board, it is a subtle advertisement. I had never thought of that. But is is very true. Even if one is only advertising a personality and thoughts and opinions, it is quite telling.
Think about what you are advertising, RealOne, each time you come onto these boards and begin another negative, whiney, complaining, tantrum-like, rant. It's even worse when people try to engage you in polite and logical debate and you become even more nasty and defensive. It is not attractive.
Now, again being very sincere, I am quite intersted to see if and how you respond to this post. Are you "boy* enough to take a good, long look at yourself?
Apologizes to all...For Me, this debate is over!
*Gets off soap box*



UtahGoddess -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/5/2006 12:34:15 AM)


When I ProDommed I found a drastic drop in appointments during December and January. (Less discretionary funds) Maybe things will pick up now that tax returns are coming in.

Ms Sandi



naughtynick -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/5/2006 12:52:16 AM)

My answer is, stop expecting money for something that should be free.



missnoir -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/6/2006 4:35:45 PM)

I've been off for a few days and just had the chance to catch up with all the posts. First of all, thank you to all those offering advice and encouragement. That's why I joined this site. In the very short time I have been a part of collarme, I have been in contact with multiple members who have provided wisdom, resources and most importantly, camaraderie.

As for all of you nay-saying my profession and dictating what in life should be bought and not given away, I'll gladly save a session, gratis of course, for all of you. I would love the opportunity to lick away your tears as I have you beg forgiveness for your ignorance and lackluster existence.

I am a professional femdomme. I will not make apologies for what I do nor how I do it. I have spent most of my developmental years emmersed in the lifestyle and I have paid my dues. I attend workshops, seminars, munches and the like, most at a price. I purchase costly equipment in order to stock my dungeon with the very best in bdsm gear. My attire is of the finest quality and my grooming habits are rigorous and detailed. Providing the image desired by those seeking my services is an expensive affair. I pay to be a part of various forums and reviews online in order to access the most current information regarding my trade. I have a collection of videos and literature that is
ever-growing. Again, these materials are not provided to me free of cost. In whole, being a professional dominatrix comes at a price. I work hard and study diligently to stay at the top of my craft. I provide highly specialized services to those who might otherwise be without an avenue to their most intimate desires and fantasies. I care for each submissive as an individual and a person with earnest needs. I have discussions with each prospective at length to discover their mindset and specific hungers. I do not accept or continue sessions with any submissive that I cannot connect with. Oftentimes, submissives who have been in my service, become like an extended member of the family. These very special few are no longer required a tribute and make the transition to becoming a personal connection. Those who partake in my services sing my praises and offer their most humble gratitude.

As it seems you have not received a formal education or any life experience at this point, let me offer you what I consider to be rather elementary knowledge. The choice to purchase goods or services is entirely in the hands of the consumer. For those of us with common sense, this comes as no surprise. However, seeing that you are not capable of grasping even the most rudimentary of concepts, I'll happily detail this concept to meet the hard pressed limits of your feeble minds. My submissives are not coerced to offer a tribute. I do not spend my evenings searching out the names and numbers of those who might be considered easy prey for yet another money hungry domme. In actuality, my clients seek me out! They call and email with unrelenting persistence to obtain my services. They are estatic to be in connection with an actual femdomme who loves what she does and does it with grace. I not only fulfill my need to dominate, I fulfill their need to serve. Our existence is equally dependent on both parties as is our happiness.

If you are fortunate enough to have found a mistress or master who is the definition of your desires, the reason you exist, consider yourself one of a very special few. There are hundreds if not thousands more exactly like you, still searching for the other piece of their collective puzzle. They hunger, day in and day out, for a person worthy enough to call their master. A master, who for them, remains faceless. As a mistress, I have the same yearning. In meeting and training potential submissives, I hope to find those who stand out above all the rest. Those with a desire so palpable it lingers in the air long after their departure. I consider my profession to be somewhat of a "limbo" for those who are seeking to find their home. ProDommes bridge the gap between the world of those wanting and those who are fulfilled. It may not be to your standards and is obviously not to your liking, but it serves so many others that would disagree.

Considering the level of intelligence you have shown thus far, I expect you probably didn't read past the first paragraph of this post. If you did manage to get to this point, I doubt you were able to process the meaning behind the words. People like you are generally blinded by stereotypes and live in a world that is strictly black and white. You are embittered by past experience, influenced by the popular opinion of antiquated resources, intimidated by a world you will never experience. Meanwhile, the rest of us, with open minds, a tolerance for a difference in opinion and the knowledge that there is no such thing as a free lunch, continue to venture out past the limits of the accepted into a world with a margin, however thin it may be, of grey. We find our happiness, our fulfillment, in the realization that no one's concept of perfection is actualized with the element of compromise. So grow up, move on and stop berating those of us innovative enough to find an alternative path. A path that allows for us and many of our counterparts to eventually live a reality and not just the fantasy so many of you insist on perpetuating with your negativity.



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/6/2006 5:19:36 PM)

*A Standing Ovation for missnoir!*
A very classy Lady.



veronicaofML -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/6/2006 5:27:35 PM)

my bitch is that i cannot advertize my business for free on here or any other site,
=========

and what is it you do?



veronicaofML -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/6/2006 5:41:49 PM)

strictly black and white.

***yes'M....my world is black and white. it is also put into little categories. like a filing cabinet.
it's part of my p.t.s.d. and o.c.d.--
"I" have YET to find 1 person to say different. it's a world of right or wrong...
my wives, the judges, my elders, my teachers, my boot camp d.i.---EVERYONE i have EVER met in this world DEMANDS it to be black and white..
did you or did you not have a part in this? are you or are you not guilty? did you or did you not break that lamp? did you or did you not use dad's wrenches?
did you or did you not get that truck unloaded?
WHERE in holy hell is there room for anything BUT black and white m'Lady?



there is no such thing as a free lunch,
****oh???????
lemme see.
my 1st domme...She got $50k from me..tax free and unreported
Her main squeeze got $3k free of charge from me
my bud and his live in got $3k from me unreported
my 1st wife got $1k unreported
shall i continue?
yes there IS a free lunch.
just not EVERYBODY gets one.

i'm sorry to sound cruel to You.
You DO seem to be an intelligent Lady.
but i thought it best to say a few things here to You.
take care, Lady Noir





seaturtle50 -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/6/2006 5:42:12 PM)

quote:

Dominas are treated like fetish life support


A phrase to be coined if ever there was one!

st50



MichMasochist -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/6/2006 5:52:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missnoir

I've been off for a few days and just had the chance to catch up with all the posts. First of all, thank you to all those offering advice and encouragement. That's why I joined this site. In the very short time I have been a part of collarme, I have been in contact with multiple members who have provided wisdom, resources and most importantly, camaraderie.


You're welcome.


quote:


As for all of you nay-saying my profession and dictating what in life should be bought and not given away, I'll gladly save a session, gratis of course, for all of you. I would love the opportunity to lick away your tears as I have you beg forgiveness for your ignorance and lackluster existence.


OOO.... OOOO Pick me, I'd love to meat you, after all you're cute although you don't look like you're twenty five any more. But unfortunately you're one of those pro types. Just too far on the extreme edge for me.
[:D]


quote:


I am a professional femdomme. I will not make apologies for what I do nor how I do it. I have spent most of my developmental years emmersed in the lifestyle and I have paid my dues. I attend workshops, seminars, munches and the like, most at a price. I purchase costly equipment in order to stock my dungeon with the very best in bdsm gear. My attire is of the finest quality and my grooming habits are rigorous and detailed. Providing the image desired by those seeking my services is an expensive affair. I pay to be a part of various forums and reviews online in order to access the most current information regarding my trade. I have a collection of videos and literature that is ever-growing. Again, these materials are not provided to me free of cost. In whole, being a professional dominatrix comes at a price. I work hard and study diligently to stay at the top of my craft. I provide highly specialized services to those who might otherwise be without an avenue to their most intimate desires and fantasies. I care for each submissive as an individual and a person with earnest needs. I have discussions with each prospective at length to discover their mindset and specific hungers. I do not accept or continue sessions with any submissive that I cannot connect with. Oftentimes, submissives who have been in my service, become like an extended member of the family. These very special few are no longer required a tribute and make the transition to becoming a personal connection. Those who partake in my services sing my praises and offer their most humble gratitude.


Never did asked you to apollogies. As far as I, and others, here are concerned; how you make your money is completely up to you. And it is exactly that that makes you what we perceive you to be.
[8|]


quote:


As it seems you have not received a formal education or any life experience at this point, let me offer you what I consider to be rather elementary knowledge. The choice to purchase goods or services is entirely in the hands of the consumer. For those of us with common sense, this comes as no surprise. However, seeing that you are not capable of grasping even the most rudimentary of concepts, I'll happily detail this concept to meet the hard pressed limits of your feeble minds. My submissives are not coerced to offer a tribute. I do not spend my evenings searching out the names and numbers of those who might be considered easy prey for yet another money hungry domme. In actuality, my clients seek me out! They call and email with unrelenting persistence to obtain my services. They are estatic to be in connection with an actual femdomme who loves what she does and does it with grace. I not only fulfill my need to dominate, I fulfill their need to serve. Our existence is equally dependent on both parties as is our happiness.


Free verbal abuse I love it. I'm such a bad boy. Say? Isn't that bad for bussiness? After all a working girl giving it away for free?
[;)]


quote:


Considering the level of intelligence you have shown thus far, I expect you probably didn't read past the first paragraph of this post. If you did manage to get to this point, I doubt you were able to process the meaning behind the words. People like you are generally blinded by stereotypes and live in a world that is strictly black and white. You are embittered by past experience, influenced by the popular opinion of antiquated resources, intimidated by a world you will never experience. Meanwhile, the rest of us, with open minds, a tolerance for a difference in opinion and the knowledge that there is no such thing as a free lunch, continue to venture out past the limits of the accepted into a world with a margin, however thin it may be, of grey. We find our happiness, our fulfillment, in the realization that no one's concept of perfection is actualized with the element of compromise. So grow up, move on and stop berating those of us innovative enough to find an alternative path. A path that allows for us and many of our counterparts to eventually live a reality and not just the fantasy so many of you insist on perpetuating with your negativity.



You're so perfect oh great goddess. Thank you for blessing us, me, with your intelligence, open mindeness, and what ever else you wrote because I am unable to read or comprehend the meaning behind your words.
[X(]


You know I really do have too much time on my hands. But then I like my perception of reality from epicenter to event horizon far more than how you rationalize yours.

Perhaps one of the best things I love about this board is the ease by which most can be goaded into emotional out burst. As well as how readily conclusions are jumped to. But perhaps this post of yours suggests an underlying acknowledgement, on your part, that what you do is exactly what other perceive you to be. Oops now maybe I'm jumping to a conclusion?
[8|]

Big hug and kisses

P.S. When you flame, and my guess is you will. More verbal abuse please[;)]



littlesarbonn -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/6/2006 7:07:44 PM)

I thought I'd take a different angle on this, as it is something I have been observing for some time and have suspected it is going to continue to happen.

I've been believing the bdsm business is going to be going through some pretty tough times, and I think you are becoming one of the people to first experience this course correction in the pay for play atmosphere. We're slowly moving from one generation into another where the expectations of one generation are a lot different than the previous ones. It's this kind of thing that helps me understand why downloading illegal music is seen as okay with one generation but not with the previous. Now, granted, there are people who have feet in both camps or the opposites in one or the other, but mainly because we are starting to hit transitional states here. It's probably going to be getting a lot worse over the next two decades as the newer generations start to cement their hold over the ideal.

I see this in an attitude towards why someone might not show up for a planned session, especially if there's no monetary loss to him whatsoever. Some years ago, I would never have thought of not showing up for a session, but I'm one of the transitional generation people. But as I befriended a number of professional dommes over the years, I started to see the numbers of no shows happening more and more often. With Houses, it was somewhat expected all the time. With individual professionals, it was a bit rarer, but it still happened. Over the years, of the women I've kept in touch with, I've only noticed that problem has increased quite a bit. This won't affect someone who has established clientele, so you won't hear people backing this up if they've been doing sessions for years, but for those starting out, I think it's getting worse, and it will probably get a lot worse.

Part of the problem is the acceptance of bdsm in the mainstream community more than it ever was before. In the past, you really had to sneak into the underground to find a session. Now, if you play your cards right, you can find a partner at a club, on the train, at work or even through bdsm online web sites that do match making. I kind of suspected problems would start right about the time that Madonna released that sex book of hers that glorified her interest in bdsm, as if she had suddenly introduced the world to something that's been there all along.

My advice: Start charging to first shows ahead of time. It might make it harder to establish clientele, but that's pretty much what you're going to need. You have several things going for you already, such as you are quite attractive, give the impression of intelligence and you don't appear to be located in the middle of Wheatfield, Wyoming (a name I like, even if it may not exist). That means you can do quite well.

Now, I'm sure others have other advice and whatever. I can only introduce what I believe to be true. It sucks that you're going through this, and I hope things improve for you. I would love to be completely wrong here and just find out you've been unlucky through a stream of no shows and then suddenly everything turned around. I know personally I would never NOT show up for a session; I'd just be so grateful that I found someone somewhere that worked out for me. (I'll stop there, as this wasn't supposed to be about me) Good luck to you.



theRose4U -> RE: Cold Feet or Common Rudeness (2/6/2006 7:38:41 PM)

quote:

Without a signature it's not a valid transaction. I lost a good deal of money by people buying from Diversified Services and then claiming they never placed the order. Without a signature the credit card companies always found in their favor even if I had a UPS delivery confirmation. Once more, when this "chargeback" happens, it goes as a black mark on the seller's record and too many mean you lose your ability to accept credit cards.


What about an "application" sheet that states medical history, scene desires and a signature approving a deposit? I would assume that amount dates and times as well as explaination of the cancelation policy as well as how many sessions are required for no deposit. Faxed in copy on site, in theory, should get around the transaction issue John mentions above.



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